AN: Hello everyone! Sorry it took a couple of days to update. I had this idea for another fic and I just had to write it before I lost the inspiration. Check it out if you have time. It's called By Your Side. :) Anyway, here's the next installment. It's shorter (I think) but I'm getting into this whole thing. I promise Derek's going to find out soon. :)
*I OWN NOTHING. :|
Addison had always been an excellent judge of character. Ever since she was young, she knew better than to gallivant around town and be friendly with everyone. The people thought she was just some snobbish rich girl who had everything, but in truth, she was just being careful.
There was time, when she was around 8 or 9, a clean-cut man in his early 20s came over to her and asked her if she wanted to play with him. Because she found it a bit odd that a man twice her age was asking her to play, she politely refused and ran as fast as she could home. It turned out be a good move because the man was later arrested for child pornography. Another time, was she was 18, fresh from high school and irresistibly gorgeous in college, a junior football player asked her out, but she declined because she had her suspicions. The football player turned out to be a drug addict.
She has had more of those 'live-saving' experiences as she grew older, all because she was suspicious, and could easily tell if the person was worth her time just by looking into their eyes as they spoke. That sort of trait she possessed led her to a tight-knit circle of friends. She knew she could count on all them, knew they all looked out for her welfare, knew they were all loyal, all true. A lot of the decisions she had made in her life were slightly affected by her friends' opinions. From Savvy, to Naomi, to Nancy (whom she's known before Derek), to all the friends she's kept in touch with since high school, she valued their opinions and closely considered all of them.
Derek knew this. He knew that if there was a way to get Addison back, to win her heart and make her love him again, it would be through her friends. So two days after the rather core-shaking conversation with Addison, he called Nancy.
It had been a rather eventful two days for Nancy. She had to drive to Savvy's house because they couldn't get Addison to eat, let alone to get up from bed. She kept on murmuring something along the lines of 'stupid bastard', 'selfish brute', 'good for nothing McDreamy' and a bunch of other expletives. It had been hard to convince her to eat, and they had to practically shove the chicken soup into her mouth before she had anything to eat. The day after that, it was the same thing all over again that by the time the third day came, Savvy knew how to handle Addie and Nancy went to work, a million things running through her mind.
Nancy was busy at the hospital after being late for work for two days. She was trying to catch up on her missed patients when her beeper sounded and signaled a phone call. She walked hurriedly to the Nurse's Station and smiled at the nurse before picking up the phone.
"Who is this?" she said, not bothering to sound pleasant.
"Good morning, Nancy.", he said sweetly.
"Derek." She said it so flatly that Derek had to fight a grimace. "What do you need, obnoxious little brother?"
Ignoring her insult, he said, "I need a favor."
"This, Derek, is very typical of you. You call and you get all sweet only when you need something. Only when you're going to benefit. And quite frankly, it doesn't work with me anymore seeing that you've forgotten about your family here in New York. Even mom won't take your side on this one so save the excuses."
"Nancy-pants. Just listen to me."
"Well by all means, talk then. I don't have all day for your pathetic whining." Nancy rolled her eyes.
"Why are you so angry at me? What did I do now?" He was starting to get angry.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Are you seriously asking why in the world I'm angry? Do you need me to spell it out for you? You ignored your wife, you left New York, you drove to Seattle, got a girlfriend, treated your wife like shit, dumped her, divorced her, ignored your family, stopped any form of contact with your siblings, stopped any form of contact with your own mother, and basically use us to your convenience. I get to be angry, Derek.", she huffed loudly.
Derek didn't expect that from Nancy. He and Nancy had always been close, but he got her all worked up now. "Nancy."
"No, I'm not finished yet. And here you are, calling me because you need some favor? That's rich coming from you Derek. What, your slutty intern get a bit too slutty, now? Or did you get tired of her too, like what happened with Addison? Tell me, Derek, which one is it? Hmm?" Nancy had never been this angry at Derek before. It was probably all the emotional build-up in her after Addie told her her secret that caused her to lash out at Derek that way. After all, it was his fault that Addie was giving up in the first place.
"No, it's not like that. Meredith—"
"Don't call her that."
"She has a name."
"She doesn't deserve to be called it.", she said spitefully.
"Nancy. It's hardly her fault. She didn't know. I'm to blame okay so don't drag her into this."
"Stop defending her."
Derek sighed, exasperated. "Look, would you just listen to me for three minutes? I'm trying to ask you something which I hope would put me back into your good graces, oh great and almighty one."
Nancy chuckled. No matter how much he hated her brother at that moment, she couldn't despise him if he called her something akin to a goddess.
"Okay fine. I may be laughing right now but I'm still mad at you. Now talk. I have patient to meet in a while."
"Thank you Nancy. Really." He paused, gathering his thoughts. He was going to drop some big information bomb on his sister; he was entitled to a bit of nervousness. "Okay. Here it goes. I'm just going to go right out and say it okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay. Okay. Okay. I can do this. Okay." He cleared his throat. "I broke up with Meredith, Nancy."
"That's it? You called to say that? And what a big surprise that is, really.", her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You never let me finish. What I'm trying to say is I broke up with Meredith because… I'm still in love with Addison."
"You have a pretty funny way of showing it, Derek.", Nancy snorted.
"And I want to win her back."
"You're a little late, Derek."
"What do you mean?" Derek was confused. He refused to think the worst.
"I mean, you're too late. No reading between the lines.. you're just really too late."
"Has she moved on?" he asked, panicked.
"No." Nancy sighed.
"Then what? Tell me."
"I can't tell you Derek. But you're too late."
"I can't be too late, Nancy. You have to help me. You just have to."
"Why? So you can break her heart all over again? She doesn't deserve it."
"I'm not going to break her heart again. I promise. Just.. please help me. I'm at my very bottom right now. And I need someone on my side. Just this once."
Nancy heard the desperation in his voice. Derek never liked begging. His pride always got in the way. "What do you want me to do?" she said in a non-committal manner.
"I'm planning to woo her again, Nance. You know, the old fashioned way, but with a modern twist. I can't exactly go to New York every weekend, but I was hoping you could be Derek for a while, until the Chief gives me some time off. Just send her flowers and chocolates and cards and a bunch of other sweet things. I have a lot up my sleeve 'cause I've been thinking about this for a while. Be my messenger for a while. Please."
"You mean Mark part 2, right?"
"No. All of the things are gonna come from Derek. And I'm going to come over and call her and email and do all those things—"
"Stop right there, Derek. Didn't she specifically ask for you not to call her?"
"Well…" he said sheepishly, "I was planning on breaking that rule."
"No, you don't. You're not going to disrespect her wishes. She's been through a lot. For all you know, she doesn't even wanna talk to you."
"What do you mean she doesn't want to talk to me? She just called me the other night."
"She what?" Nancy couldn't believe her ears. "She called you? Speak now, Derek Christopher Shepherd", she demanded.
"She sort of called me… and then words were thrown and revelations—"
"Revelations?"
"Like about me and Meredith and about her fertility treatment going bad. Look, to make a long story short, we yelled at each other because I was tactless in confessing my sudden change of heart. And she hung up on me because she was so frustrated with me."
Shock registered on Nancy's face. "You fucking asshole! I knew it had something to do with you! She didn't get up from bed for two days because of you! Because of that stupid phone call! Once again, Derek Shepherd, you hurt her! You're there in Seattle, living the life of a bachelor, while Savvy and I are here trying to pick up the pieces of what's left of your ex-wife!"
"I hurt her? How could I have hurt her by saying I love her?" Derek was incredulous.
"Don't you get it? You're such a man! You hurt her because she's been waiting to hear you say whatever lovey dovey crap you give her for a year. A year, Derek! And now that you're divorced you say it so freely? Tell me what the hell is wrong with that equation."
"Look. I'm sorry. I realize that was tactless. That's why I'm asking you to help me."
It took a moment for Nancy to keep her emotions at check. She really was getting too involved in her brother's marriage. If she didn't love them so much as a couple, she wouldn't be doing this.
"Fine."
"Fine?" Derek raised his eyebrow.
"Yes, fine. I'm going to help you. What do you want me to do?"
Derek went on with all his plans, Nancy giving occasional approvals and suggestions. She didn't know what possessed her to help her little brother. She knew it was only going to hurt them both. But she couldn't help wishing that whatever her brother was planning to do would help Addison and convince her that treatment is worth a shot.
Meanwhile, Addison was at her apartment, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. She had not eaten for the day. She couldn't consider what Savvy shoved into her mouth this morning as eating because she barely had a spoonful. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't thirsty. She just wanted it all to stop. Ever since Derek's phone call, all she could do was think. The night she cheated. The countless nights Derek chose surgery over her. Her failed marriage. Meredith. DerekandMeredith. The non-existence of DerekandAddison. Mark. Her Cancer. Death. The Chief. The Christmas Derek told her he was in love with Meredith. The day he called her an obligation. The night she called him. His voice. His sorrow. Her confusion. His revelation. His love. Her reaction. Her anger. Betrayal. All of those thoughts swirled into her head that it made it impossible to think clearly, to find an explanation. All she could think about was the confusion.
And so she lay there, more determined than ever to give up. She knew Derek was bluffing, playing with her again because he knew how much power he had over her. But even if he wasn't, she couldn't allow herself to get hurt again. If she allowed herself to fall for him, she knew she would have to give in to treatment. And what if he left her again? Then she would live a longer life alone. She couldn't take that. She was afraid. She was no longer Addison Forbes Montgomery, strong and independent. She was plain Addison, afraid and alone.
She had decided; decided she couldn't wait a whole year to die. She had to go soon. She just wanted to confusion to stop. So she could finally rest, finally find peace.
Anyone who would've known what was going on inside Addison's head would think she was a woman going crazy. And in a way, she was. Addison was getting crazier by the day. But then, they would also see a woman broken. Too broken and afraid to open her heart again to someone who would actually care for her. They would see a woman who has fought hard, lived a life people would only dream of ever living. Addison believed she has lived her life. And that it was time.
Reviews are lovely. :) Thank you. :)
