Disclaimer: Juubi-sama is absolute. Juubi-sama is all. Juubi-sama is the future.
...Did it work? Are you all my servants?
Gets hit in the face with a baseball
Guess not. Knew I shouldn't have spent all that money of this stupid computer program! Oh well...on with the show!
Warning, I will be screwing with Naruto in this chapter.
Word 2 Scene 3: Father and Son
"14 years ago, as you know, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, a beast of great and terrible power attacked Konoha. It was a terrible night, much damage was done, and even more losses. Now, the story goes that the Yondaime Hokage, my apprentice, Minato Namikaze, stopped by Kyuubi, killing it, and saving everyone at the cost of his life. However, not all of that is true." Jiraiya said, standing in front of the genin with his arms crossed and a serious look on his face.
The genin – along with an awakened Hinata – blinked in confusion and surprise at that. "Um, what do you mean by that, Jiraiya-sama?" Sakura asked.
Taking a deep breath, the Sannin began to reveal the top secret. "While it is true Minato stopped the Kyuubi, he didn't kill it." He said, making the genin and academy students (Konohamaru, Moegi, & Udon – forgot about them?) gasp. He held his hand up to stop any questions and shouts. "Listen, the Kyuubi, like the other nine Bijuu, are simply beings of sentient dense chakra. While they may have a soul, they are still chakra, and therefore connected to the planet. As such, they cannot truly be destroyed. At most, their body would be broken down and dispersed, reforming again decades later."
"But then, if the Kyuubi isn't dead...then that means..." Slowly, the young shinobi began to connect the dots one by one, some glancing at Naruto, who was looking away.
Jiraiya decided to explain everything before accusations could be made. "Listen closely. Like myself, Minato was a seals master, on of Konoha's best. In order to stop the rampaging Kyuubi, Minato used a seal technique to trap the Kyuubi."
"And…" Ino began, gulping as she felt a sense of dread "What was the technique?" She asked, the others wondering the same thing.
Jiraiya frowned sadly. "The Shiki Fuin; Dead Demon Consuming Seal. It was a very dangerous yet powerful sealing technique which allowed one to summon the God of Death, the Shinigami." The genin gasped, as well as the jonin who didn't know that part. In the Shinobi world, the Shinigami was a ninja's primary god. Living their lives walking on the thin threads of life and death, they were but prey to the Reaper of Souls. "When using the Shiki Fuin, Minato had the Shinigami seal the Kyuubi, at the cost of his own soul." Some genin gasped, while others frowned, bowing their heads in honor of their fallen and rumored greatest Hokage.
"Jiraiya-sama," The silent genin, Shino, spoke up for the first time in a long while, catching the Sannin's attention. "How was it possible for Hokage-sama to seal the Kyuubi? From records taken, it was the strongest of the ancient Biju, therefore, something like a scroll or containment unit would be impossible to hold it." He asked, getting the others attention.
Naruto flinched, knowing his part of that night was coming up.
Jiraiya frowned, before sighing. He seemed to age a bit to everyone's eyes. "You are correct, Shino. Any tailed beast above 5 tails is too powerful for any object to hold. As such, Minato had no other choice...but to seal the Kyuubi into the only thing that can hold it. A newborn child." Once more, the genin gasped.
Sasuke looked at his teammate and rival in shock, but also in understanding, as if finally figuring him out. Sakura also looked at Naruto in surprise, able to connect all the hints. 'Naruto...' Seeing how nervous he looked, not about to look at anyone in the eyes, she frowned sadly.
"Wait a minute..." Kiba muttered, beginning to understand as Akamaru whined softly on top of his head. "You mean...Naruto…" Jiraiya nodded sadly as he looked at his student.
"Yes. Minato sealed the Kyuubi into the only newborn that day...Naruto." Soft gasps were heard as all the genin looked at the whiskered blonde. Konohamaru and Co. also looked at their boss in surprise. "Naruto holds the Kyuubi no Kitsune, becoming its jinchuuriki."
"Jinchuuriki?" Ino asked.
"It means 'Power of the Human Sacrifice'." Shin stated as he entered the conversation. He had been watching the event closely, monitoring how it went. He knew he was taking a big risk here, but it was necessary to change the events that were about to come. "It was created by man to describe those with a Biju inside them. Though in my opinion, it is very racist." If there was only thing he hated, it was racist remarks. That and bullying. Shaking his head, he continued. "There are nine Jinchurikis for every Biju. You guys know another one, Gaara no Sabaku." All the genin besides Naruto shivered at the thought of the now former insane Sand shinobi. Naruto smiled at the thought of his former enemy now friend. While it has been a while since he had last seen his fellow container since the failed Sand-Sound Invasion to Konoha, he had kept in touch with Gaara through mail. The guy had really changed a lot since their last battle, and according to Temari and Kankuro, who also contacted him, Gaara was no longer bloodthirsty and insane and had seriously mellowed out.
Shin continued. "The life of a Jinchuuriki is said to be one worse than die itself. Jinchuuriki are hated or feared by just about everyone in the world. To some, they are demons, inhumane creature who would kill and maim any and all around it. To others, they are the constant reminder of the very beast that had once killed their loved ones, and as such, target them as a source of their anger and mourning. To be a jinchuuriki, is to be labeled as something lower than dirt by just about everyone around you. Barely many jinchuuriki can hold a stable mind against the constant insults and ridicule given to them, the constant loneliness and shun." He said, and while his face was covered, he had a sad and angry expression on his face. The sin of man over-weighted the good deeds.
Truly, the source of all human evil...is man itself.
The genin, chunin, and even the jonin, flinched at the description given on the life of a Jinchuriki. To be hated and treated like you were nothing...they didn't think they would have fared so well.
The former classmates grew terribly guilty at the way they (well, some of them) had mocked and made fun of the blonde. How Kiba and Ino would make fun of him, calling him stupid, and at times telling him that his attitude and pranks was the reason why he didn't have many friends.
Kami, they felt like shit!
Even Iruka, who had once believed and stated that he understood Naruto's pain...wanted to slap himself. He had thought that he and Naruto were very much alive, both orphans, would pull pranks to get attention, and at times were alone. Only to realise he didn't truly understand his favorite student. He didn't know what it was like to be a jinchuuriki, to have the very monster that attacked your home and took your family away sealed inside you. Iruka actually had it nicer than Naruto. He had his friends since that night.
Naruto...since born, he had no one until he met the Hokage and Ichiraku father and daughter. But before then, was hated for what he was...it made him feel terrible for not truly connecting with Naruto. Buying him ramen? Sure that was good and all, but after? Leaving him to go back to his empty apartment?
Sasuke frowned as he glanced at his teammate. 'Naruto...is this truly your power? Is it the Kyuubi that makes your strong, or something else?' At a time, he would have been jealous of his rival for having possession of a creature of power as the Kyuubi...but after hearing all of this? Being a container without a doubt wasn't a blessing of power...it was a curse.
He thought back to the scenes he saw, of how the villagers at the Alternate Konoha looked at the . Calling him a 'dobe' was one thing, but calling him a 'demon'?
"What's wrong? Scaredy Cat?"
He recalled the look Naruto had, back when he stopped that giant snake from crushing him back in the Forrest of Death in the Chunin Exam. Red eyes, bold whiskers...and that strength. It was Naruto using the power of the Kyuubi.
Naruto frowned, trying to push back the memories of his childhood, which struggled to make themselves known. He had long since moved on from the past. No more crying, for there was no need. He now had friends and loved ones.
But still...
Now that the secret was out...will he still have his friends?
Glancing at the silent Naruto, Shin looked at the other genin. "Now then, I have a question for you guys." He said, grabbing their attention as they looked at him. Raising a hand, a scroll appeared on it. Raising his other hand, a kunai laid on it. "Tell me, if you seal a kunai into a scroll, *as he talked, he did as he said and sealed the scroll* does the scroll become the kunai?" He asked. Figuring out what he was up to, the older shinobi looked at their genin.
Said genin looked at Shin like he was stupid. The weapon expert of the group, Tenten, crossed her arms with a scoff. "Of course not! Any moron with a brain would not that that's not how sealing works!"
Looking at the other genin, he saw than nod. A smile appeared in his hidden face. Nodding, he walked over to stand beside Naruto, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Exactly. And that is the same case with Naruto. He may hold the Kyuubi in him, but he and the beast are two completely separated beings. As are the other jinchuuriki."
Eyes widening in understanding, the genin looked at Naruto. They soon, nodded, some smiling. "Of course! Naruto may have the Kyuubi, but that doesn't make him any less of a dobe!" Kiba said with a grin. Even Sasuke cracked a grin.
"Hey!" Naruto shouted in anger at being called a dobe.
"Yeah!" Konohamaru shouted. "Boss is still boss! In fact, this just makes him even cooler!" He said, his two friends agreeing with him.
The others laughed or chuckled, smiling. Soon, Naruto smiled too, his grin wide. Unseen by all except Shin, a single, happy tear fell down his cheek. 'They...don't hate me.'
Shin smiled as he patted the blonde on the shoulder. He then clapped his hands as he looked at the group. "Well, now that that is taken care of, shall we continue?" He asked, getting nods. Getting his cue, he snapped his fingers. The area shifted before it changed back to the other dimension.
Snoring softly, Naruto rolled over and grabbed a tight hold on his pillow, rubbing his face against it as he dreamed of Chibi Naruto… eating ramen. Chibi Naruto cheered as bowl after bowl was delivered to him by Chibi Ayame and surprisingly Chibi Hilda without pause as he sat in the ramen stand.
The ninja except Naruto blinked in confusion. "Dude," Kiba started, confused at what he was seeing. "You have a strange dream."
"I do not!" Naruto retorted. He crossed his arms with a huff. There was nothing wrong with having an imaginary Chibi-fied version of yourself who appeared to make you feel better with hilarious antics.
"LOOK OUT!" Screamed a Chibi Villager as he ran past, "TIDAL WAVE!"
A question mark appeared over Chibi Naruto's head as he looked out to see the man run away just as a roaring sound reached his ears followed by a shadow. Looking in panic, he gaped before grinning, it wasn't a normal tidal wave… it was a RAMEN WAVE!
"YATTA!" Chibi Naruto screamed as the wave rushed at him. He held out his arms in welcome just as a piece of hot pork slammed into him, making him vanish from the spot as he was swept up and carried off in the wave.
"Chibi no!" Naruto shouted in fear, holding out his arm to his tiny self.
"Chibi no!" Naruto awoke with a gasp, trying to imagine his little mental friend that aided him over the years with humorous yet cute mental picture aids, only to picture rushing water. "No!" he sobbed out, having killed Chibi off by accident, 'He was too young!'
Naruto fell to his knees, waterfall tears running down his cheeks as he covered his eyes with his arm. "WHY?!" He cried. He punched the ground as he wept for his loss friend "He didn't do anything wrong! Damn you Kami!" He shouted. All the Konoha shinobi sweatdropped at the blonde, unsure what to do, except for Hinata, who comforted him by patting his back.
'Wait a minute?' the blond thought before looking around and rubbing his eyes, "WHAT THE FUCK!"
His room had close to six inches of steadily raising water in it and on a small futon next to his own, Baby Beel was snoring… water gushing from him like a busted pipe as he floated an inch off the bed.
"What the hell?!"
"Oh you're awake."
Turning to his open window, Naruto saw Hilda sitting on the ledge with her umbrella open as it poured down rain outside. "Hilda… just… what's going on? First he starts wetting the bed for the past two nights and now… well now he floods it."
The busty demon maid nodded, "Yes, Master is peeing quite splendidly." she replied as if it was a normal everyday thing.
Everyone blinked one...twice...
"Wait a minute..." Ino muttered.
His eye twitched, "I can see that… wait…" his face lost all color then turned an unhealthy shade of green, "AH! I'm swimming in pee!"
"EEEEEW!" Ino and Sakura screamed, while the others gagged, especially Naruto.
She looked at him as if he were stupid as he jumped out of the water and latched onto the ceiling, using chakra to stick there.
Kakashi noticed that and raised a brow. 'So this Naruto knows the three climbing chakra control technique before even graduating.'
"Do not worry, it is not unclean. Quite the contrary, it is urine imbued with holy magical powers one should give thanks for…"
Naruto's eyes twitched.
"The great urination comes each year around this time and in the Demon World it is a seasonal attraction. After a city is drowned in the flood, the amount of fertile land increases. A fine first step in destroying humanity, yes?" she finished with a small satisfied smirk.
Asuma raised a brow at that. Taking over the world...by drowning it in piss. He didn't know whether to laugh, or be worried.
"This isn't a joke!" Naruto growled out, "While I do think that the idea of humanity being pissed to death is a little funny… he's flooding my apartment first!" he cried out before dropping to the floor and crouching over Beel with a dark look of fury, "And how long are you goanna just sleep there?!"
"Da?" Beel exclaimed, eyes snapping open, but he didn't have the usual sleepy look in his eyes, he seemed uncomfortable.
"Your peeing is incredible as always, Master!" Hilda gushed, believe it or not, as the boy awoke.
Beel looked around at the raising water that was close to his navel, not really knowing what to do.
"AH!" came a scream from outside, making Hilda turn while Naruto came over to see, Beel remaining behind on the floor where he soon started playing with the evil ninja action figures. Outside it was storming pretty bad in the early morning, the road outside even had a fast moving river flowing down it.
But the cry came from a thin shinobi wearing all dark blue with a pair of round sunglasses as he slipped on the rushing water and was carried away.
Naruto, Konohamaru, Iruka, and Kakashi recognized the man as the closet pervert Ebidu, to which the first two began to laugh.
"Hmm…" Mused the teen as he stood next to Hilda, "At least one good thing came of this. Now do something about this flood already!"
"Humans, honestly…" she huffed while looking away hiding a small blush, 'So commanding!'
Anko saw this, and grinned madly. 'Oho! What's this? Looks like miss dark is a masochist!'
Hilda then cleared her throat, "So be it… but answer me this one thing."
"What?"
"Who or what is this 'Chibi' you spoke of when you slept."
He blinked, "How long were you watching me sleep?"
"Stalker~..." Anko sang, earning a slap upside her head from Kurenai.
"D-Da…Bu?"
Both Naruto and Beel looked at the thing Hilda put on the toddler strangely, it was a strange looking diaper of some sort that was a dull brown with weird little appendages all around it. But for all its oddness, there wasn't a leak that came from the kid and the water had been easy to get rid of, leaving the floor spotless… but still a little wet.
"Hilda… what is that thing?"
"It is an item from the Demon World which temporarily sends his pee into an alternate dimension. It is called… 'Peebeegone'."
"Really?" Sasuke deadpanned.
The teen blinked, "You're joking… you know what? It doesn't matter, at least this way Konoha can continue to be the Village hidden in the Leaves and not the Village hidden beneath an ocean of piss." he shrugged.
"No, it will flood,"
"Figures." he deadpanned.
"Although it is an alternate dimension, it is not infinite. It will only last a few hours."
"What… can't we just replace it? You know, put another one on him when that one's finished?"
Shaking her head in annoyance, she gave him an irritated look, "Can't you people just accept your fate. You should be spending this time deciding which city to drown and…" Hilda trailed off as she noticed the dark aura around the man, his eyes were shadowed and he twitched off and on for a few seconds while the muscles in his arms tightened.
Naruto felt his anger rising, her attitude was starting to piss him off, "Just shut it, okay… Baby Beel's calmed down for now but the dam is gonna burst at any time." he mused while keeping his eyes closed, "I tend to like my home above sea level and if you're not gonna help me keep it that way then I'll find a way to handle it myself since I can't depend on you for any help on this."
Anko whistled at that. "Damn kid..." 'Although, that was kind of hot.'
Turning, Naruto walked towards Baby Beel and held his hand out to the child, who took it and let the teen hoist him up and carry him out into the living room and out the front door, leaving Hilda alone with a strange feeling in her chest.
"I'm not sure what to do kid," Naruto mused as Beel road atop his head while he walked down main street with an umbrella over them both, he was still wearing the orange shorts and black shirt he started sleeping in after the first bedwetting incident and didn't bother changing before he left.
"Da-bu…"
He sighed and rubbed his face, "Maybe I should go get something to eat and think about it, I'm sure Ayame has some milk or yogurt you can have." Thinking of ramen made Chibi Naruto pop into his mind, just morbidly obese from devouring the entire wave that swept him away and holding up a sign reading, 'I'm back bitches!'
"Yay, Chibi!"
"He actually ate the whole thing?" Sakura asked, amazed at that, before remembering that it was a part of Naruto's imagination.
Then thoughts of the Baby Beel Dam bursting entered his mind, making Chibi Naruto scream and flip the sign around to read 'FUCK!' just as another wave swept him away.
"No!"
He didn't want to go to the old man, that would just invite trouble for all of them.
"Hey demon brat, where'd you steal that kid from?" sneered a man as he walked by, only to be punched in the mouth by Naruto who wasn't really paying attention, sending him into a wall where his head stuck through. There weren't many people out today so the guy stayed there for a while before someone help him.
The jonin flinched at that, though Tsunade just shrugged. Eh, the bastard deserved it.
He continued to head to the ramen stand only to find in closed with a sign blaming the bad weather and flood warning.
"Fuck it all," he cursed, "today just isn't my day."
"Naruto."
Turning, he found Hilda standing on the back of Akubaba with her hand held out, "Grab on, we'll fly to the ocean."
Hilda didn't know what to think as they flew over the ocean, Naruto sitting on the back of the demon bird with Beel in his lap, still peeing like a fire hose. She didn't care if a village drowned, she didn't care if it was wiped out in a plague, all that mattered was her Master's happiness and safety… or so she thought.
When than man said that he couldn't depend on her she had gotten the strangest feeling, as if, he struck her through the heart with a blade and twisted it with each passing second.
Tsunade pursed her lips as she watched. The way the girl had changed her mind after what said to her. If she didn't know any better, she would say...
Akubaba made a noise as he flapped his wings a few times then glided above the water, not bothered in the least by the extra passengers.
"Should've just did this in the first place." Naruto muttered to the woman standing behind him, never noticing her blushing face with her back to him and concentrating on holding Beel, who was excited and waving his arms as they flew.
"Silence, or I'll push you off." she shot back before closing her eyes with a slight smile before thinking to herself, 'Great Demon Lord… I do not understand this man. However, it may've been too early to come to a conclusion. He's… different from what I expected, makes me feel… strange inside.'
In the academy, an average sized man with a brown ponytail with a scar across his nose sat behind a desk in his empty classroom grading papers. He wore the standard Konoha shinobi outfit and wore his forehead protector like many did around his head, taking pride in it while some of the other teachers wore more civilian-like clothing to work.
"Hey! It's you, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said. Iruka straightened as he watched his alternate counterpart finally appear.
His dark brown eyes shifted from the paper he was grading to a small desk calendar near the corner, making them widen.
"Already?" the chunin muttered, sitting up straighter and popping his back after being hunched over the desk for so long. "Time sure does fly by…"
Below he next date he had written in a small note reminding himself that the final test would be in a week, but below that was another note that he'd written not too long ago that marked that day as the day that one of his favorite student's would return.
"Hey Iruka," greeted a fellow chunin teacher for another class as she stopped by his door, "Another late night of grading papers?"
The man nodded, "Yeah, trying to catch up with the grades before we start reviewing."
"Oh yeah that's right, you got the final exams coming up don't you."
He nodded again.
"I heard that the Uzumaki kid is coming back soon, I feel sorry for you." she continued, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.
"He's not that bad," he huffed, "It's just that no one will give him a chance with him being… you know."
She shook her head, "No… oh Kami no, I didn't mean it like that. I mean that he's been gone for over two weeks and yet we haven't heard about one of his usual pranks."
Iruka froze, face losing all color. While the amount of pranks that Naruto pulled in the past had steadily declined, the few that he did do were usually on a grand scale that had the entire village talking soon after. They had also gotten somewhat cruel and if not unusual. He longed for the days when it was a simple whoopee cushion or eraser perched on a door, with each passing week Naruto seemed to refine his 'art' to the point where ANBU would close off the area to study what tiptoed the line between elaborate prank and a Master-level S-ranked trap.
One of the last few he'd had the… honor of seeing but not being targeted by was an elaborately placed tripwire that when tripped, opened up a hidden panel in the wall where a loaded bow flung an arrow into the victim's head. If Naruto had been serious, he could've put a normal pointed tip on the end instead of the large boxing glove that he did.
"Oh year! I remember that!" Naruto said, a grin on his face, not seeing the pale look on his old teacher's face, horrific memories coming back to him.
Anko hummed in thought, cupping her chin. 'The brat's pranks are feared by even some of the guys in the ANBU. Now that I think about it...beings able to evade jonin, being able to break into clan homes and prank them; hell, he was even able to prank a few ANBU! The best of the best! With the right training...he could be one of the best shinobi in the village! I definitely need to talk with the Hokage after this!'
He was brought out of his thoughts when the woman spoke, greeting another man as he entered. It was his childhood friend and fellow teacher Mizuki, who helped him every now and then with the class.
"Hey did you two hear?" he asked them, making the two shake their heads and ask what he meant.
"I just heard not too long ago, it seems that Naruto's been keeping a secret from everyone."
Iruka and the woman looked at him expectedly, "… Well?"
"It would seem that your student is…"
Iruka's eyes twitched, it seemed to him that Mizuki was enjoying messing with him, "What is it already!"
"Naruto is a father,"
There was a silence. Both the woman and Iruka stared at the man with open mouths before she chuckled, "Good one Mizuki, you had us going there for a minute."
"I'm not joking, I've heard that Naruto's been seen walking around for the past few days taking care of a kid." the white haired chunin explained, "I've also heard that he's married to the mother of his child, a beautiful older green eyed blonde brick house!"
"Mizuki, I thought you were older than that," the woman exclaimed with a chuckle, "Listening to gossip and… wait… where's Iruka!?"
Looking around, they saw the man lying on the floor behind his desk, foaming at the mouth and muttering something about his student getting a girl, getting married, and having kids before he could get either one of them.
Iruka nodded. 'I don't blame you, er me. I would have done the same if I didn't see it with my own eyes.'
"So wait," Naruto spoke, waving his hands for Hilda to let him speak, "So you're saying that you are Beel's mother here in the human world?"
She nodded.
"But you still call him Master?"
"He is still my Master and while I do care for him I will still show him the proper respect that his title deserves."
The teen nodded, sitting on the couch while Baby Beel slept in his lap. It was starting to get late and the sun was just about to set, it had taken a while to go to the middle of the ocean and back despite Akubaba's impressive speed that many ninja could only dream of matching, well some could match it in short bursts for short distances, but the bird didn't have to slow down at all and when they returned, it didn't show any signs of tiredness.
"So if you're his mother here and I'm his father, then does that mean that we're…?" he trailed off.
"Mates?" Hilda responded without a hint of emotion, "Or as your kind put it, married?"
He nodded.
"Yes."
"Eh!" The genin shouted, while the jonin, one chunin, Shizune, and Kage blinked in surprise. Shikamaru sighed, muttering a 'troublesome' under his breath, poor Hinata looked close to either faint or cry, and Jiraiya was laughing. Naruto's whole face was red at the thought of being married at a young age.
As he froze, stunned from the news, Hilda smirked inwardly. While she hadn't outright lied, they weren't exactly married or mated. Accepting the young Master as their child was more of a symbol, a preengagement-engagement if you will. The idea of being this human's mate made her heart soar and it would be better for the Master's growth if she remained the mother figure, so she figured in the end was what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
'I knew it! The goth brat has the hots for the brat!' Tsunade thought inwardly. Now question was, was this a good thing, or a bad thing. She saw Naruto as a sort of son to her, and was very protective of him. And like any protective mother, she didn't like the thought of girls going after him too early.
By now, the male broke from his trance, "So you mean to tell me that even if I was in a relationship with someone else, I'd have to break up with 'em because I'd be married or mated to you?"
"In some cases, but Demon culture is different from your own."
'No shit,' he thought with a sweat drop on the back of his head, thinking back to when they sat down to eat dinner together in the apartment for the first time ever, only for Beel and Hilda to start dancing. Rituals were very important to Demon Royalty, especially for Baby Beel seeing as he was royalty and the dance was considered to be a blessing that must be down when eating dinner together, especially at home. Hilda only did it so that Beel wouldn't have to do it alone.
"Humans see marriage as a sacred bond between two people and we Demons share that belief, but depending on a mutual agreement, some Demons have been allowed to take multiple mates, both the male and female. Luckily for you, I would not mind sharing a bed with another so long as it does not interfere with raising the Master."
THUD!
Everyone looked over their heads, and stared at an unconscious Naruto and Jiraiya. Naruto was knocked out at what was said. And Jiraiya...
"You...lucky...brat!" The Toad Sage groaned, knocked out by both pride at the thought of his student/godson having his own harem, and immense jealousy.
A little while later, Hilda woke Baby Beel to give him a bath and asked Naruto to help. Now it hadn't been the first time he helped her bathe the fussy brat, but this time things were different, with him believing that they were mates, she stripped out of her dress and insisted that they all bathe together like a family.
With a groan, Naruto woke up, returning to the land of the leaving, only to be forcibly returned by hearing that his other and Hilda were taking a bath together, as well as seeing Hilda taking off her clothes on the screen. The guys all blushed heavily when they saw Hilda taking off her clothes, Choji and Lee joining Naruto in dream land, Shikamaru muttering troublesome with burning cheeks, and Kakashi giggling perversely. Iruka and Shizune were covering the eyes of the academy kids, much to Konohamaru's protest.
Meanwhile, the girls blushed when they saw Naruto (the alternate one) taking off his clothes. Under them, it should his fit and slightly muscular build.
'Holy shit! Is that what Naruto actually looks like under his jacket?!' Thought a blushing Ino.
'He looks as fit as Lee!' Thought an equally blushing Tenten, who later reprimanded herself for blushing.
Hinata fainted the moment she saw take off his shirt.
Anko licked her lips as she eyed the other Naruto's psyche. 'Mama likes. Now, question is, is the brat the same. Looks like this snake's hunting a fox.' She thought with a savage grin.
He had been embarrassed at first but couldn't force himself to look away from her. Luckily, the bubbles in the tub hid his stiffness but unluckily, the tub was small, just barely enough room for them all to fit in. But he managed somehow to avoid exposing his arousal and embarrassing himself as well as keeping himself from mounting her from behind and making another kid. I mean what kind of father would he be to Beel if he just mounted the boy's mother and went to town while she had been washing his hair?
Kurenai cleared her throat uncomfortably, her cheeks pink. She was glad the other Naruto didn't go through with his instincts; it would have been so awkward.
As if to add to his embarrassment, he found that somehow, she managed to get another futon set up next to his without him noticing her and wore a thin nightgown to bed.
Kami help him.
But at least he'd get some time away from this sexual torture tomorrow, he had class…
"Nara, Shikamaru-"
"Troublesome… here…"
"Uchiha, Sasuke-"
"Hn,"
"Uzumaki, Naruto."
"…"
Iruka looked up from his attendance book and looked around, "Naruto?"
"I don't think he came to school today," Chouji said from his seat next to Shikamaru, who had already went back to sleep.
The chunin's eye twitched, of course Naruto would skip class on a review day, it wasn't like he had a test coming up or anything. (Note the sarcasm) But at the same time, at least he now knew what he thought was the reason for Naruto skipping class. Before he just thought that the boy skipped to prank people or eat ramen, never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that he had started skipping to care for his own child.
"Why does he even bother?" Sakura remarked, "It's not like he's going to pass anyway."
Sakura flinched at that. She was seriously not liking how her counterpart was acting like...like...like a bitch! Sure there were times she was not nice to Naruto, like hitting him numerous...numerous...numerous times in the head, but she would never go so far as to say such terrible thing. 'So far, I only like the previous fairy me.'
Meanwhile, those knocked out were beginning to awake...thanks to Shin dunking ice cold water on their heads. 'I love being a bastard.' Shin thought with a hidden grin, ignoring the glares shot at him.
"Ah-da-ba, ack-da-bu, da!"
Everyone turned to the door as the strange sound reached their ears, slowly getting louder as footsteps became audible under the noise.
"What's got you so worked up?" came the unmistakable voice they all knew to be Naruto's as he approached the door, "It's just the academy, nothing to get excited or sing about."
Naruto nodded. There was nothing exiting about the academy, or school on general.
"Da-bu!"
"Hmm, well we'll see how long that lasts."
The silhouette at the door was unmistakable, no one else in the village had spiked hair like that. As he opened the door, Iruka turned to yell at him for being late only to freeze. There stood Naruto… with a baby on his head… a nude baby with green hair and eyes with a golden pacifier in his mouth.
Everyone in class froze as well, staring at the blonde in shock.
"Sorry 'bout being late, sensei." Naruto mused as if nothing were out of the ordinary before pointing up to Baby Beel with his thumb, "This little guy was being fussy so I had to fix him a bottle right quick."
"…"
Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What's with the looks? You act like this is the first time I've ever been late to class."
"T-the… you… the kid…." Iruka choked out while raising a shaking finger. When Mizuki told him about Naruto being a father he passed out from shock and upon waking up, half hoped that the man had played a mean trick on him, but now all of it was rushing back.
"Oh yeah," Naruto grinned before pointing up to the toddler again, "Iruka, I'd like for you to meet my son, Beelze, but I just call him Baby Beel."
Beel raised his hand in a peace sign, "Da!"
The blonde continued to grin for a minute before frowning, "Oi… you don't look so good… whoa I didn't know your eyes could roll back like that… Iruka? Iruka? Iruka… you alive?"
The man collapsed to the floor while Naruto gaped.
Everyone sweat dropped when Naruto hid behind the teachers desk and poked him with a stick.
"Oh shit, I killed sensei!" The teen then yelled out, "Everyone scatter! You didn't see anything!"
And with that, Naruto ran off, taking Baby Beel with him.
Everyone laughed at that, while Naruto and Iruka blushed in embarrassment, Iruka for fainting again, and Naruto for his other's overreaction.
Hilda, true to her demon maid servant nature, quickly cleaned up the apartment and frowned, there really wasn't much here and they all deserved better. The Master also needed more toys than what he had at the moment as those few wouldn't keep him entertained for much longer.
Walking through the bedroom, her foot hit the edge of a floorboard, causing her to stop and look down to see that it was raised up. Kneeling down, she pulled it up to find a thick envelope full of cash hidden beneath, making her grin.
"My money!" Naruto cried in despair, seeing Hilda take his hidden money. That was his emergency money, and Hilda was taking it to buy who knows what!
"Well Baby Beel, if I'd known that bringing you with me to the academy would get me a free day then I would've had a kid sooner!" Naruto laughed as he carried Beel to the park, holding the little bundle of demonic energy up in the air with the boy enjoying it, that is, until cicada landed on his nose, making Naruto pale.
Ever since he got pinched by that beetle, Baby Beel became afraid of any kind of large insect.
"No don't!"
*KEYAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
As the Hokage, one rarely had time to sit back and relax unless they made plans to have some free time, leaving information on where he could be found in case of an emergency and such.
Walking down one of the many well-kept paths through one of the Village's parks, Hiruzen found himself lost down memory lane, remembering some of the dates he took his wife on here atop a grassy hill, taking Konohamaru here to play with his friends, a loud scream accompanied by a pillar of lightning shooting into the air.
Wait… what?
Rushing over to the area where he'd seen the lightning, he sweat dropped at the sight of Naruto laid out on the ground with smoke rising from him as the green haired toddler sat on his chest.
"Naruto-kun, are you alright?" he asked with a concerned tone.
The blonde just waved it off, "I'm fine old man… I'm starting to get used to this now."
"I see… then what are you doing here, you should be in class right now. The final test is only a few days away."
Sitting up, Naruto rubbed his forehead, "I know that, but as long as I pass the test it won't matter, I've been staying up later than usual to study and practice but I still can't get that Bunshin jutsu down. My chakra pools are too large for that."
Tsunade blinked at that before narrowing her eyes. "Naruto." The whiskered blonde flinched at the tone in her voice. The hard and serious tone make it clear: "Answer me, or there will be consequences". "Did you fail your genin test because you couldn't perform a Kage Bunshin?"
Gulping nervously, not wanting to anger the female and deadly Hokage, Naruto nodded. Tsunade then turned to Iruka. "Iruka, tell me. Did you know of Naruto's status as a jinchuuriki during his time as an academy student?"
Iruka gulped nervously as she straightened up. "Y-Yes ma'm."
"And you had given Naruto the test to perform the Bunshin technique in order to pass, correct. To which he had fail horribly at, not one, but three times for the test in three years."
"Yes, ma'm." Iruka answered, confused at where this was going.
Tsunade narrowed her eyes in anger, a vein pulsing in her forehead. "Then tell me, given the fact – which should have been commonly known with physical testing done regularly at the start and mid semester of each academy year, or through observation – that Naruto has large reserves of chakra, even more than jonin level, it would have been absolutely impossible for him to even use the Bunshin Jutsu – a technique which requires only the barest of minimal chakra. It should have been obvious, or stated by expert shinobi, that it is simply nonexistent for a jinchuurki, one who has chakra pools that could rival a kage, to use any such low level technique with their little or no control of their chaotic chakra." She said, glaring at him.
Iruka paled. He had not taken that into consideration! He should have realized sooner that with Naruto's large levels of chakra, he could never perform such a technique like the regular Clone technique! Unfortunately, he had been blinded by his years teaching normal students to take in the fact he was teaching a jinchuuriki!
Seeing his reaction, Tsunade had all she needed. 'It would seem I need to go over the Academy regulations.'
Hearing the blonde's problem made Hiruzen forget about him skipping class and nearly slap himself in the head. Of course Naruto kept failing because of that, why hadn't he thought of it sooner? The Bunshin was a required technique for all academy students to learn because it was both a test of their chakra control and their mental skills. Most children had enough chakra to perform it by their age and it took very little to use, however, if one were to put too much chakra into it then all you'd get was sickly, useless versions of themselves that could only lay on the ground before vanishing. For someone with Naruto's amount of chakra to make a normal academy clone would be nothing sort of a miracle, even medical ninja would glow green with envy due to the amount of chakra control it would take.
Hearing that made Iruka feel even guiltier.
"Naruto-kun… why don't you come by my office later on, I think I got something that could help you."
Returning home a little while after lunch, Naruto entered his apartment as if the devil were after him, rushing to the kitchen area to fix Beel a bottle seeing as he forgot to bring more that morning. He avoided a painful session of shock therapy but upon turning, now holding Baby Beel as he fed from the glass baby bottle, he found Hilda sitting on the couch and staring at a television watching what seemed to be a sappy soap opera.
"Hilda… since when did I have a TV?"
"Since two hours ago," she droned, never once turning from the show.
"How did… how could you buy a TV? I thought you didn't have any money?"
"Oh I found an envelope hidden under the floor and used it all to purchase some things."
Now that she mentioned it, he did happen to notice the fact that he now had more appliances and stuff in the kitchen area of the room, a new set of dishes and silverware, a blinder, toaster, a rug, he even found that his fridge was now much fuller compared to before. Upon further inspection, he found a toy chest and plenty of new toys for Beel, even some that he didn't think were toys.
"H-Hilda… how much… did you say you spent?"
"All of it. Now shush, I'm trying to watch this."
Placing Beel down on the couch next to Hilda, Naruto slid into a corner and cried. The money that she found had been saved up from years of taking a little from each stipend and placing it aside. It was one of the reasons that he didn't have a lot there in the first place, after paying bills, buying food, and the occasional expense like having something fixed or replaced, he didn't have much left.
Naruto followed his counterpart's example as cried in the corner, weeping the loss of all the money he had left, even if the event was happening in another world and not his own.
Glancing over after a minute, he noticed that Beel had finished with his bottle and was now crawling over to the new toys excitedly. It was a small consolation but at least Beel would have something new to occupy himself with.
Speaking of which, he stood and moved over to look at some of these strange toys. While he had never had many toys as a child he was pretty sure that no human toy companies would make some of these things, they looked downright evil.
As he reached down and picked one up, Hilda spoke, warning him, "I'd be careful if I were you,"
He looked at her then to the toy, it was a patchwork doll that looked like a clown with thick orange hair and blue skin, an insane grin with a mouthful of pointed yellow teeth holding a six-inch long kitchen knife in one hand and an ice pick in the other that was about the same length, "What is this thing" he questioned while looking it over, finding a small switch on its neck and flicking it.
"It's a toy from the Demon World, I had it Dead-exed over." she explained while he set it down, sitting in front of it with his legs and arms crossed, staring at it to see what it did. Baby Beel paid it no mind as he dug through the toy box.
Naruto scoffed as he crossed his arms. "That thing doesn't look so scary."
A wicked glint appeared in Shin's eye.
The clown's eyes glowed for a second and shook all over before getting still, making Naruto cock his head to the side before reaching out to poke its nose.
"I believe that it's called the 'Fully Automatic Assassination Doll'. Quite popular among children these days,"
Hearing what it was called, Naruto stopped and turned to stared at her with wide eyes, his hand still outstretched in front of the doll. Just as he was about to ask her why it was called that, the doll's eyes narrowed while it's mouth curled into a dark and evil grin just before pouncing.
Taken by surprise, Naruto fell to his side as the doll latched onto the back of his head, it's arms wrapping around his forehead while it's legs went around his mouth, stopping him from calling out.
Naruto flinched, before quickly recovering. "S-So what?! I can take it on!" He boasted.
"Oh really?" Shin asked, before snapping his fingers. Naruto blinked in confusion, and was about to say something, when he felt something struck him in the face, sending him falling backwards on his back. He groaned as he lifted his head. Opening his eyes, they widened when he saw something sitting on his chest.
It was that weird doll! The one he just saw on the screen!
He gave a yell as it leaped at him.
"I thought that the Master would enjoy some of the comforts from his home, I was sure that you wouldn't mind,"
Struggling, Naruto tried to rip the doll's legs over his mouth before stopping to catch its arm when it tried to stab him with the ice pick. For a doll it had the strength of a grown man and both strained against the other while rolling around on the floor and into the kitchen out of sight seeing as the couch faced away from it.
Naruto was rolling on the floor as he tried to wretch the doll as it clung to his face, his hand gripping its arm, stopping it from stabbing him with the ice pick.
The others wanted to help him, but were stopped by Shin. "Relax, he's fine. I wouldn't let he doll kill him 'would ruin the whole point of me doing this show' I just wanted to teach him a lesson about acting all high and mighty in front of me. Let's get back to the show."
Reluctantly, the group did as told and put their attention back on the 'show' as Shin call it, ignoring the struggling blonde behind them.
Baby Beel found something that made noise as he played with it, making Hilda smile at him before turning the sound up just a little.
With one hand holding the arm with the ice pick, Naruto abandoned trying to pull its legs off to catch the knife with his other and continued the struggle. He raised his head and brought it down on the floor, slamming the doll's back down against the hard wood twice before he managed to make if drop the knife, sending it clattering to the floor.
But with one arm now free, the doll took the pick with both hands and now put all its strength into ending the blonde's life with a soundless roar coming from its mouth.
Finally getting the damn thing off, a now red-eyed Naruto grabbed it by its tiny legs, and slammed it down hard onto the ground. Slamming it down three more times, he released his grip and stepped back with a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, he underestimated the doll, and suffered for it as it came back with a vengeance as it jumped at him.
'Please, don't fight over me, I cannot help that I love you both!' Came the voice from the TV as Hilda watched the two characters start fighting each other over who would be the woman's lover or something.
Naruto finally managed to pull the demon doll off of him, using its arms to pull him up and over his head, the ice pick scratched his cheek when he did but the weapon was sent spinning across the floor once he slugged the thing in its mouth one good time.
"Come here you little mother fucker!" he growled while letting go of its arms and taking it by the legs, swinging the toy around and slamming it to the floor. The blond then stood and jumped up, dropping back down with his elbow landing in the center of its back.
With a heavy punch, Naruto sent the doll flying. He watched it get back up with a soundless snarl, which he watched with a growl, his whiskered thickening as he used a small ounce of Kyuubi's chakra. The two then charged at each other.
Speaking of the beast, it watched the battle with a sweatdrop. Not sure what to make of it. It decided to just enjoy the violence.
"Da-bu!" Baby Beel cheered while beating on a small drum.
"You," *SLAM* "Don't," *SLAM* "Fuck," *SLAM* "With," *SLAM* "Me!" *SLAM* Naruto growled out as he held the little thing down and closed it's head the refrigerator door while the doll tried to get free of the vice-grip he had on the back of its patchwork clothing.
All the shinobi and students were cringing and flinching at the immense violence was showing as he beat the doll up. All except Anko, who watched with a growing grin, alternating between watching the fight on the screen, and the one happening right there.
If he had taken the time to look, or even cared to, he would've seen that the doll was crying, but if he did notice he didn't care as he picked it up and shook it violently before opening his freezer door and throwing it in. Naruto then slammed the door shut, and used an entire spool of ninja wire to tie it shut before leaning on it and huffing.
"Rasengan!" Naruto shouted as he slammed the orb of chaotic chakra into the doll. It gave a silent pain filled scream as the orb grinded hard into it. An explosion of smoke erupted.
Naruto panted as he walked back to the group, the still body of the doll lying on the floor. Unseen by the blonde, the body glowed before it vanished. Walking toward the couch, he slumped down on it.
Shin chuckled. 'Well that was fun. I needed a little action.'
When he returned, the blonde collapsed onto the couch next to Hilda, making her look at him with a raised eyebrow, "What's your problem?"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
She shrugged and went back to the show.
Not ten minutes later, Naruto felt a tug on his pants leg and opened his eyes to see a mop of green hair as Beel climbed into his lap, how the boy did it while carrying a book in both hands he didn't know.
"Da-bu!" Baby Beel exclaimed, holding out the book to him.
"Magical Beasts of the Demon World," Naruto read as he looked at the title, "the pop-up edition."
Looking at the toddler, Naruto raised his eyebrow, "Want me to read you a story?"
The boy nodded "Da!"
He was a bit scared to at first, I mean he just had a battle with what he thought was a harmless yet freaky doll but he calmed down and steeled himself, after-all, it was a pop-up book.
"Alright, let's see…"
Opening the book to the first page, he found a creature, something called a tentacle beast and turned to that page, but before he knew it, the page glowed and out popped a slimy green tentacle, wrapping itself around his head and trying to pull him into the book.
"Oh come on!" Naruto shouted, before seeing a familiar book laying at the edge of the couch. "Hell no!" Grabbing the book, he threw it away as far as he could.
Shin bit his lip to prevent himself from bursting out laughing. He just loved screwing things up.
"AH HELP IT'S TRYING TO EAT MY HEAD!" he cried, kicking his legs out wildly while Baby Beel giggled.
Hilda's eyes twitched before she swung her umbrella, knocking Naruto in the back of the head and sending the book across the room where it closed on its own, "Stop being so loud, I'm trying to see what happens next!"
Well that was fun!
Until next time! Ja ne!
