Author's Note: This is where we get a bit more intense into Merlin's character, this is where we see what she fears most. This is also the beginning of the end for this story. I own nothing.
7. The Worst Fear
Merlin stepped deeper into the forest, she looked like she knew this place. The knights all looked at each other confusedly. None of them, not even Lancelot knew where she was now. Something glowed among the trees and fluttered out to meet Merlin. She laughed as an honest to god fairy flew around her sparkling as it swirled around her skirt and up to her torso. Merlin stretched out her hand and the fairy stood on it smiling at the woman who looked awestruck and excited. The figure resting on Merlin's palm had blue skin littered with white markings, like tattoos. Her hair was white as well but her wings and eyes were both a sparkling gold. Another fairy came spinning out of the woods. This one was male though, with green skin and brown wings. He flew up to the fairy on Merlin's palm and tugged on her wing, pulling her off balance. They wrestled for a moment before darting off into the surrounding trees. Merlin looked a bit disappointed then a voice echoed around her. It was familiar, so very familiar and yet unrecognizable.
'Beautiful isn't it? You know where you are yes?' Merlin nodded, the torch in her hand swinging as she spun searching for the source of the voice.
"Yes I know where I am, the forest next to the lake of Avalon, right?" The voice laughed and Arthur swore he knew that voice. He just couldn't put a face to it.
'In essence yes, just not the side of the lake that you are used to.' Merlin's eyes went wide.
"Wrong side of the lake? But that would mean…" Something moved in the trees, Merlin's eyes locked onto it her staff held in one hand.
'Mean that you are in Avalon, yes that is what it means.' Merlin and the knights all paled. If Merlin was in Avalon, then she had to be dead, right? The voice sighed exasperatedly and continued.
'Oh don't be like that, you haven't actually left the labyrinth.' Arthur was still desperately trying to place that voice, it was feminine so a woman but he could not for the life of him put a face to the voice. He glanced at the other knights who all looked equally confused.
"Who are you?" Merlin asked looking really nervous for the time. That made the knights all nervous. Merlin had been upset, angry but never really nervous all throughout this labyrinth. Whoever that voice belonged to could not be good news.
'You know who I am. I am what you are most afraid of in this word. You knew you would have to face me sooner or later.' Merlin whirled as a figure stepped out of the woods.
She was taller than most women her age, with skin as pale as the full moon and hair as black as pitch, she wore a long white gown with gold embroidery running up and down its length. A white cloak rested around her shoulders held closed by a blood red rose. In her hair rested a circlet made of pure gold and woven like an intricate vine. The knights stared, there was no mistaking who this woman was. Her hair was longer, her ears pointed like an elf from the fairytales they had enjoyed as children, her eyes burning gold but there was no mistaking it as she stepped up to Merlin. Gwaine stuttered and finally managed to speak.
"That's what she's most afraid of? She's most afraid of…" Arthur finished his sentence for him.
"Herself." The elfin Merlin stepped up so she was level with the real Merlin who looked about ready to bolt. The elfin version of their friend held the same staff as the real woman and pointed it at the ground near where the real Merlin was standing conjuring a chair out of nothing. She nodded to it, her long mane of black hair waving in a nonexistent breeze.
'Please sit.' The real Merlin shook her head watching the duplicate with mistrust and a touch of fear in her eyes.
'You must be tired. Look around you, Avalon is perfect, we belong here. Not back where no one trusts us, where no one can know who we really are. Here we are free.' Merlin shook her head.
'You aren't like everyone else, you know that. You are a creature of magic. You don't belong among those people. You never have, you never will. All they see when they look at you is a monster. Even among other magic users you are different.' The real Merlin shook her head as the elfin figure backed her into the chair.
'There is no one like you, there never will be. You are alone and always will be and you know whose fault that is.' The real Merlin nodded as she tripped and landed in the chair.
'It's your fault. You are responsible for all the misfortune that has befallen your friends. You are a monster and you know it. A one of a kind mistake.' The real Merlin's eyes filled with tears as the elfin Merlin knelt down in front of her.
'They will never accept you. You will be alone forever, hated and hunted because of how you were born. Destiny got it wrong. Magic can never be free and neither can you.' The tears spilled over and the real Merlin spoke.
"That's not true! That can't be true." She didn't sound sure of herself.
'You know it's true. They have all seen magic used for evil too much, they will never see the true use of magic. They will never know all you have done for them. They will never accept you. You are alone in this world and you always will be.' Merlin buried her head in her hands for a moment before she started shaking her head. She looked up at the elfin version of herself and growled. It was a low, primal and sounded very much like and angry dragon.
"I am so sick of this! I am sick of lying. I am sick of not being good enough! I'm sick of the riddles and the prophecies but I know what I am doing. I know that my friends may turn their backs on me if they ever find out what I really am, but I know I am doing the right thing and I have faith in Arthur." The elfin figure frowned.
'But destiny…' The real Merlin shot to her feet glaring at the image of herself.
"Screw destiny! This may have all started because the dragon told me I have this great destiny I'm supposed to fulfill but that's not why I do what I do, not anymore. I help Camelot because it's the right thing to do, because I can't stand to see innocent people die! I help Arthur because I believe in him, in the king he is becoming. I believe in the Camelot that Arthur will build and even though he may hate me for who I am, I am willing to lay down my life for him because he is my friend. Now leave me alone!" The last sentence was shouted with power behind it that shook the whole fortress. It reminded Arthur very much of the roar the great dragon had given when he was attacking Camelot. The elfin Merlin vanished and the forest around Merlin dissolved as her torch flickered. Hareth paled and stepped away from the stone as a great crack appeared in it, splitting the image back into swirls of color.
