"So... What am I supposed to be staring at?" Robin asked and Red let out an exasperated sigh.
Well, it was a decent park. He'd seen better ones. It was kind of lonely for that time, and it was raining. The air felt weird, like charged with electricity.
"This is the park where I found you." Red explained.
"There's glitter on the floor." Robin noticed and his friend knelt down and grabbed some glitter mixed with red bloody tissue and dirt
"Oh, that's mine. When I got here, I had to refill myself." He explained
"It sounds difficult" the duck muttered while he stuck the red bloody tissue somewhere under the red dreads. "But it can't be! The park where I appeared had a red telephone box."
"Exactly."
The duck stared at the empty park, trying to imagine a red telephone box from where Manny would come out and run towards them and Red would carry him over his shoulders and take Robin's wing and head home at last, a home where life continued its streak, a family of three, like any other family.
Robin tried to make the telephone box appear. Wasn't the mind a powerful thing? Maybe if he thought of a better place...
But no amount of thinking would bring Manny back and make Red love him.
"I have the theory that it only appears when someone realizes they're trapped." Red continued
"Like some sort of portal that connects our world with that weird place where time is stuck?"
"Yes."
"So it first appeared when you didn't return home and I knew something was missing! That something was you! And I heard your voice on the phone... but you only said my name. And suddenly... it all made sense. And... and..." The duck started shaking, holding his tummy, as if he was scared his organs would run away. The umbrella he was carrying fell to the floor, splashing mud everywhere, and he almost followed, but a red arm held him before falling.
Red held his wings, carrying the duck's weight. He didn't want to break his friend, but he really wanted to know what had happened
"...And?" the bird started hyperventilating
"And... And... I was in an operation room... And then not... And they did something to Manny, because he started acting weird, he's not like that... For heaven's sake, he wept when I killed a pesky bee, do you think he'd want to eat a pie made of... my... org..." He threw up and Red had to hold him to keep him from fainting.
"Breathe slowly. In and out" Red said holding Robin's shoulders and crouching over to look at the scared bird's eyes. He had to repeat this mantra at least ten times before the duck started to react again.
"I didn't throw out any organ, right?" was Robin's greatest concern. Red chuckled a little
"No"
"Manny was drugged. That's my only explanation. They drugged him so he could eat... me. But if I barely escaped, what if he... can't? And if I barely made it alive, and they took away my organs... What will they do to him?! Red, we have to save him! He could be in trouble! What if he's...?" Tears filled his eyes. He had been so rough with the poor yellow creature and now he was probably dead.
"Only if he realizes, the portal will reopen." Red explained.
"Do you think he'll ever realize?"
"No" Red admitted. Manny wasn't exactly the brightest brain in town.
"Maybe he misses us... Maybe he can't sleep at night, feeling something is missing, but without remembering what. And the singing objects will try to make him forget, and it will temporarily work, but at night, with no one to talk to, no one to tuck him into bed or give him a good night hug, he'll know something is wrong. That happened to me."
"Well, if he misses us enough, the portal would reopen. We just have to wait. We'll come here every day"
The bird sat on the wet muddy floor and stared at the imaginary telephone box. Maybe if he waited enough, Manny would, indeed, appear inside the telephone box, and maybe eventually Red would realize that all those nights sleeping together and waking up with tickles and sleepy smiles weren't just "friendly" behaviors. Maybe Red was being a bit too optimistic, too idealistic to believe one day, out of nowhere, things would work out.
Maybe he wanted to be a bit less realistic too. Whatever might happen, there was only one certain thing:
"I don't like waiting."
...
Time had passed; the biggest evidence was that it was New Year's Eve.
They didn't celebrate Christmas, they weren't in the mood. Red spent the night staring at an empty briefcase before filling it, sometimes drawing over a map. Robin spent his night staring at him from afar.
But they had been invited to a party at a neighbor's place.
There he was, feeling like the first time he had seen Red. The anxiety, a beating heart that wasn't his.
His real heart was on a pie, inside his best friend and protégé who was trapped in another dimension, and they had been trying to reach him for months with no avail. Betcha that kind of stuff is not a good ice breaker at parties.
His new heart, however, worked just like before, oriented towards the same red mop that kept messing with his head in more ways than many singing objects.
Of course he missed Manny. The kid was constantly on his mind. Nightmares couldn't leave, haunting him with images of his dead friend. Though nightmares were easier to handle when he would wake up to a soothing voice pleading him to calm down, softly caressing the feathers of his head. Because that's what friends do, they sleep together and wake up with each other's screams and nightmares, and they hold each other to calm down. And friends don't leave friends.
Friends. That word felt like yellow cans eating his organs all over again.
But today that could change. That's what made him anxious. He was afraid of talking, hallelujah. He had seen a briefcase slowly being filled with clothes, and he was afraid that Red could leave without them. That was the way Red worked, he would simply walk away. That's what he did before, and Robin was scared he would do that again. He even had a speech prepared, and he was revising it:
"Red, we've been trapped in another place for a while, and in that time we couldn't live our lives like we should. And I know Manny is still trapped, but we gotta get back to the life we used to have before June 19th. I saw the briefcase. I know you want to forget and leave but I don't want you to leave, I love you, and not as a friend. I don't think we are friends. Maybe you do, but I don't. Friends don't hold hands all day, nor sleep together. I know we slept together because there was no other bed left, with Manny at home, but... It's different. I know you've said before that we are whatever we are, and you don't care but I do care... But if you don't feel the same way, it's okay. You can ignore all I just said. Just don't go, please. Don't forget us. I don't wanna lose you... I've lost Manny already..."
He sighed and drank wine. He could hear Red already, "Why do you need to label everything?" but it was worth a try.
So he walked across the party to the terrace, with two glasses of wine under each wing. Red was there, with his beige trench coat and scarf, smoking a cigarette. Everyone in the party seemed to be having a good time, but they couldn't. Maybe they could never be normal again. At least not until Manny was safe.
The terrace was way quieter than inside. The wind was cold and a couple beside Red was making out. People had started the countdown to the New Year.
He walked and stood near him, but not too close. The cold was numbing, and he wanted to be held, like the couple beside them. He saw them kissing with all the envy of his borrowed heart.
"I... brought wine" he said, staring at the couple. "Do you want some wine?"
"Thanks." Red replied with his dull tone and grabbed a glass.
This was it. The countdown was on 20.
"Red? I... need to talk to you. You see, I know there are better things to worry about, like Manny, but I wanted to say that I..." he started, but his speech vanished as soon as he opened his beak, so he just said what came to his mind:
"Isawthebriefcase. Whereareyougoing? Areyouleavingus? Idon'twantyoutoleaveIloveyou"
He said it that way, no spaces, vomiting the words like organs.
Red didn't answer. He didn't even look at him. Instead, he slowly finished his cigarette, staring mindlessly at the street below. Finally, he sighed heavily, smoke and fog spiraling, intertwining with his red dreads.
"I just want to forget everything that has happened" he said. Robin stared at him.
"But if you forget about them you'd also forget... me. And Manny" Robin said in a hurt tone, and, even more hurtful, no answer for a while.
"I'm sorry, but...I swear the minute Manny's safe, I'm fucking leaving this town."
"Do you really prefer to pretend nothing ever happened instead of trying to learn about it? For fucks sake, Red, I almost died! Manny could be dead! And you don't give a shit about us! You only care about leaving us! We're your family!"
"No you're not! You are just a clingy one night stand and a weird kid with an even weirder dad who somehow dragged me to fucking hell" Red said in a tone Robin had only heard when he was shouting at Colin the Computer
That was the longest sentence he had ever heard from Red. Even Red seemed surprised by himself.
Only when he saw the big blue eyes shining like the most depressing and teary Christmas lights ever, he realized what he had done
"Sorry. Robin, I... don't like having feelings. Life was easier that way." The duck didn't answer, but turned against him. He could see Robin fighting back tears.
"I don't want to forget you guys, but I don't like this" he tried again, to no avail. He tried to reach out and touch Robin, but the duck dodged his hand "Robin?"
"Looking at you reminds me of everything I want to forget. But I won't leave forever" He suggested and sighed "Just tell me what you want, Robin"
His tone was almost pleading, and Robin turned to see his pleading eyes, smiling sadly.
I want you to say we'll be alright, and we'll be a happy family like any other, and we can run away together
I don't want you to forget about me
I want you to feel like I feel about you.
I... want a lot of things, Robin thought, and opened his beak to talk, but instead, he looked down to the street, where snow was falling and Manny was staring at him with his big goofy eyes wait, what?!
"I want- Manny!" he yelled, and almost threw himself off the building, but a couple of red strong hands held him down.
"Whoa, calm down" Red said, with a less monotone voice "You can't fly"
"He's... he was there!" He looked down again. He had mistaken a yellow fire hydrant for Manny.
"Manny is not here. I told you, he needs to realize in order to come back through the telephone box."
"But... but he was..." Robin started and his own tears betrayed him. His speech, forgotten. He started sobbing. How could he be so selfish? Making drama when Manny could be endangered...
The countdown was on 10, and a green duck had a breakdown. He fell to the floor, no longer containing his frustration, sobbing furiously. Now he was really crying and his tears froze all the way down and the couple walked away to keep making out far away from the weird weeping duck, who had fallen like a puppet without strings.
Like a puppet.
It was finally New Year, everyone started celebrating and Red lifted him up and held him against his soft, warm red chest. He didn't say anything, just held Robin tighter, his red hand brushing snowflakes off the green feathers of the duck's head.
Red could have said that he promised to come home someday, but first he needed to forget, and everything would be fine but he wasn't really sure. Robin wanted to say he didn't really care if Red left him and Manny, as long as the trio were safe, and that it didn't really matter if Red loved him or not, at least not while Manny were endangered. Love could wait.
Anyways, Robin couldn't love the red mop, and Red couldn't leave that town, at least not yet. Their lives would be at pause, as if every day were June 19th, until Manny's days stopped being that dreadful date over and over again.
