House of Doom!
Chapter Seven: THE RETURN OF ETERNAL DAMNATION!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or Kagome, or Kikyou, or Miroku, or Sango, or Kouga, or Sesshoumaru, or Rin, or Jaken, or Shippou. I don't own Napolean Dynamite or Pokemon, or anything else trademarked.
Note: Oh my gosh! I am SO sorry for not updating in like, a year! I'm so sorry! (Cries) Please forgive me. But I am bringing you a new chapter. And in that year, I have grown up more so, and so hopefully my future chapters will be a little better. :)
Inuyasha: KOUGAAA!
Kouga: What?
Inuyasha: This morning I woke, hungry and eager to eat my delicious ramen. When I stumbled into my second room, you know, the ramen-filled one, I realized something, a horrible something..
Kouga: And this concerns me how?
Inuyasha: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
Miroku: He did your mom! OH!
Sango: (kicks in nuts)
Miroku: x.x;; You bitch!
Sango: Miroku you asshole, Inuyasha's mom is dead.
Miroku: ...
Sango: turns to audience But seriously, kids, those "your mom" jokes are getting old, and are extremely offensive to those without mothers, like myself.
Miroku: ...Your mom goes to college!
Shippou: Haha, oh that Miroku.
Miroku:D
Kikyou: O.o
Kouga: What the hell did I do?
Inuyasha: (sniff) You- you stole my best friend!
(Dramatic music plays, camera zooms in on Kouga)
Kagome: Kouga stole Inuyasha's ramen?
Shippou: Say word!
Everyone: (stares at Shippou)
Kouga: And why do you think I did it?
Inuyasha: Because you're my enemy!
Shippou: Isn't Sesshoumaru your enemy?
Inuyasha: They're both my enemies!
Kouga: Well I don't need your disgusting noodles.
Kagome: They're disgusting? I thought my cooking was good...
Kouga: It's AWESOME.
Kagome: Haha, I was joking, all I do is add water.
Sesshoumaru: FLOWERS!
Kagome: Well.. You do add water to flowers too...
Kikyou: O.o
Miroku: x.x;; You bitch!
Inuyasha: You bastard!
Miroku: You're a bastard!
Inuyasha: You're a bastard!
Miroku: You're a bastard!
Inuyasha: You're a bastard!
Miroku: You're a bastard!
Inuyasha: Where's my ramen!
Miroku: In my pants!
Inuyasha: WHAT! OH MY GOD THAT IS DISGUSTING YOU DISGUSTING SICKO!
Miroku: I was joking. There's nothing in my pants but my 9 inch di-
Rin: Ewww, stinky.
Jaken: Your mom's stinky.
Sesshoumaru: (Slice Jaken in half) You know her mom is dead.
Kagome: So is yours!
Sesshoumaru: (goes to kill Kagome)
Inuyasha: YOU BASTARD! RAAAWR!
Kouga: Hey I want in this too. (jumps in fight)
Jaken: (gets kicked across the room) Team Jaken's blasting off agaaaaaaain.
Shippou: If I was a ninja
Mir,Inu,Sesshy,Kouga: Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na naaa..
Inuyasha: See I'd have all the ramen in the world... (sniff) Oh god.. WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME! (Runs off)
Kagome: Inuyasha! Don't cry! (Runs after)
Kikyou: O.o
Sango: Hmm.. But really, what has happened with Inuyasha's ramen?
Miroku: It is a good question.
Kouga: But we cannot solve it until we have more clues, right?
Miroku: Yes...
Sesshoumaru: Well, I'm leaving. (Walks off, but stops) AW MAN! My foot is soaked! Okay, who pissed on the floor?
Jaken: Tee-hee (waddles off like a penguin.)
(In Inuyasha's room)
Inuyasha: (sobbing)
Kagome: Don't worry, Inu-kun, I'll find your missing ramen.
Inuyasha: (Sniff) Do you really think you can?
Kagome:
Inuyasha:
Kagome:
Inuyasha:
Kagome:
Inuyasha: Kagome?
Kagome: Oh yeah what?
Inuyasha: Can you?
Kagome: Can I what?
Inuyasha: Find my ramen
Kagome: OOOOOH.
Inuyasha: Can you?
Kagome: Sure.
Inuyasha: Thanks Kagsie!
Kagome: (hugging) Wait- what did you just call me?
Inuyasha: eisgaK!
Kagome: Huh!
Inuyasha: emogaK! OHMIGOSH! Kagome.. You didn't tell me you were emo.
Emogak: Emo-gak? What! I'm not emo!
Inuyasha: KAGOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Sob)
Emogak: wtf... that was lame.
The following scene is a real stunt that was performed by real people, and will never be done again, with the exception of this retelling.
Miroku: Yo, you wanna reach a movie?
Sango: Why?
Miroku: What?
Sango: Wait, what? I'm so confused.
Miroku: What happened?
Sango: What?
Miroku: Why are you asking me why?
Sango: I thought you said research!
Miroku: You thought what was research.
Sango: Reach
Miroku: Reach what?
Sango: Reach a movie!
Miroku: You want to go to the movies?
Sango: What?
Miroku: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Sango: You said, "Yo, you wanna reach a movie?" I said "Why?"
Miroku: Oh I was talking to Kouga, do you know how much time we just wasted over that?
Shippou: Haha, oh that Miroku.
(It is now nighttime)
Kagome: I can't let whoever stole Inuyasha's ramen get away with this, I have to do something! (Goes and gets spy equipment)
(Kagome goes into the hall, and puts the spy equipment in her ears, and walks from room to room.)
Rin's Room: Everything is silent.
Sango's Room: "You're just jealous because I'm online talking to hot babes!"
Kagome: ..? Oh, she must be watching Napolean Dynamite.
Jaken's room: Dear... diary... today was another day in the House of Doom... oh how I am beginning to hate it here... At first, I was in love with the idea.. Being with Sesshoumaru-sama in a house and all.. But everyone here just kicks me around the house, and everyone is acting weird.. It's like once they stepped in the perimeter.. They forgot all knowledge. I myself, have found myself peeing on the floor constantly... Well I can't deny, I've always done that.
Kagome: That's disgusting.. Why am I listening to this? (Walks away)
Miroku's room: Ohh... Mm.. Yea.. That's goooood... uuhh...
Kagome: O.O
Miroku: Mmmmm... ooh... Hachi you make..
Kagome: O.o
Miroku: Me.. Soo... hungry..
Kagome: O.o
Miroku: Watching you.. Eat... out..
Kagome: O.O
Miroku: That... carton of ice cream... mmmm...
Kagome: Wowww... (knocks on door) Miroku?
Miroku: Go away.. I don't care if you're hungry...
Kagome: Okayy there...(moves on to next room)
Kouga's room: ..Shh.. I think I hear something.
Kagome: (pause)
Unknown: No.. I don't hear anything. So continue on with what you were saying.
Kouga: Alright... Well, I think you understand my wish, correct?
Unknown: No, I'm a complete idiot. It's not obvious at AAAAAALL.
Kouga: Really? It isn't? I thought it was.
Unknown: (slaps in the face)
Kouga: What the hell was that for?
Uknown: You're such a baka!
Kouga: You're a baka!
Unknown: No you're a baka!
Kouga: No you're a baka!
Unknown: No you're a baka!
Kouga: No you're a baka!
Uknown: Listen, I don't care who the bigger baka is, though it's obvious it's not me... Do you want my help or not.
Kouga: Yes, I'm sorry... GAH! That Inuyasha makes me so mad, and you don't like him, do you?
Unknown:...No. No I don't.
Kouga: So will you help me?
Unknown: Well, fine... but not for your sake. Because I can't wait to see the look on her face.
Kagome: (in her mind) OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY! THOSE BASTARDS! (Runs back to Inuyasha's room) INUYASHAAA!
Inuyasha: (asleep)
Kagome: INUYASHAAA!
Inuyasha: (asleep)
Kagome: INUYASHAAA!
Sango: KAGOME SHUT THE HELL UP!
Kagome: Sorry! (Whispering) Inuyashaaa!
Inuyasha: Yesss?
Kagome: Oh now you hear me. Let me in!
Inuyasha: What's the passworrrrd?
Kagome: Inuyasha we aren't in grade 3!
Inuyasha: Grade 3, what's that?
Kagome: ...
Inuyasha: Did you erase my Mario saved files again?
Kagome: ...
Inuyasha: Did you?
Kagome: What the hell are you talking about!
Inuyasha: Nothing, come in. (Opens door)
Kagome: I think Kouga did something with your ramen!
Inuyasha: I KNEW IT! MY WOMEN'S INTUITION WAS RIGHT!
Kagome: What?
Inuyasha: Nothing.
Kagome: I heard him and someone else talking about you in his room.
Inuyasha: Are you kidding me?
Kagome: What?
Inuyasha: You're right there listening to them, and you can't tell who the other person's voice was
Marisa: Inuyasha you asshole, stop ruining my story.
Inuyasha: YOUKAI!
Miroku: YOUKAI!
Sango: Must exterminate! (drops hiraikotsu on her head)
Marisa: What the hell! I'm not a demon! (Disappears)
Inuyasha: DAMMIT! WE LOST HER AGAIN! (Punches Miroku in the face)
Miroku: Why always me!
Kagome: Miroku can I have some icecream?
Miroku: EW WHAT KIND OF SICK BITCH ARE YOU! On second thought, you're a hot bitch, come to my room.
Kagome: O.O
Sango: What's going on here!
Inuyasha: YOU BASTARD! (Punches Miroku)
Miroku: (cries like Miroku)
Sango: Why are you crying, houshi-sama?
Miroku: Because I got punched in the face twice. (Gropes Sango)
Sango: PERVERT! (Drops hiraikotsu on head)
Miroku: (Blocks) Hahahahahahahaha.
Kagome: Okay, seriously guys, the four of us should join up.
Sango: Why?
Kagome: I think something is going on with kouga and one of the other house mates.
Sango: How do you know that?
Kagome: Well, Kouga was talking to someone in his room.. And I know you guys weren't part of it, because I heard Miroku talking in his room-
Miroku: WHAT! You did? ... Oh.. I get it... so you DO want some ice cream... mm...
Sango: PERVERT! (Drops hiraikotsu on head)
Miroku: x.x;; You bitch!
Sango: Oops, reflex.
Miroku: It's always a reflex with you.
Kagome: AND I heard Sango watching Napolean Dynamite.
Sango: ...Yep. That's what I was doing.
Inuyasha: ... Why are you acting so suspicious?
Sango: What? I'm not. No way.
Miroku: Sango! You aren't really with Kouga behind my back, are you?
Sango: What! Of course not!
Miroku: Phew.
Sango: Wait, I'm not even with you.
Kagome: If you weren't watching Napolean Dynamite, what were you doing?
Sango: ...Okay, it's true.
Inuyasha: YOU STOLE MY RAMEN? I'm SO going to kick Kouga's ass.
Sango: No no no no no no no no no.
Kagome: What then?
Sango: The truth is... I was really playing Pokemon red on my gameboy! I know, I know, I'm a disgrace!
Miroku: What are you saying? I love pokem-
Kagome: Sango! That's horrible! And you never told us!
Sango: I'm sorry. (Sniff)
Inuyasha: -.o
Kagome: (sniff)
Inuyasha: But about finding my ramen...
Miroku: Yes, let us begin in our quest to find Inuyasha's missing ramen!
Dun dun duuuuuunnn
Inuyasha: ...We have an eavesdropper outside my door!
Kagome: (opens door) JAKEN!
Jaken: I'M SORRY! I REALLY HAD TO PEE!
Miroku: Aww, he pissed on the floor AGAIN!
Everyone in the house: JAKEN!
Jaken: Tee-hee. (Waddles off like a penguin.)
Sorry for the long, LONG time it took to update! I'll be updating all my stories more frequently though, so you can be sure to look forward to more of my work. I'll be rewriting some of my other stories as well, now that I have grown as a writer. And I know this story wasn't that funny, but I tried to add a little more drama. Tell me if it worked. R&R please and thank you!
-Marisa-san
