Pizza Cat Chronicles
By EB Minion
((Eh, I finally finished chapters 6 and 7, and I already gave the entire foreshadowing of events for chapter 7 at the beginning of chapter 6, so there's not going to be much of an entrance in this chapter. I doubt anyone'll mind though. So then, greetings, it is I, EB Minion once again! It's been a year, but I bring you two chapters at the same time of Pizza Cat Chronicles! Read, Review, and enjoy them as thoroughly as you can, okay? See you at the end of the chapters!))
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Guru Lou hopped onto the stage of the Sue Hiro Theater. Behind him was a golden backdrop. The genius scientist pulled out what looked like a computer. "Pizza Cat Chronicles!" the scientist shouted. He began typing seemingly random keys onto the computer's keypad, when suddenly blue letters appeared in the foreground, spelling out, 'Guido's Evil Plan Number 0892!' The letters remained suspended in the air by some ungodly technology for a few seconds. Then the letters blew up in Guru Lou's face, and the bright red strings holding the letters up fell to the ground. "Well, it was worth a shot, right? Heheheh." Guru Lou asked, scratching the back of his head, before leaving the theater.
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In our last episode of Pizza Cat Chronicles, a recovered Speedy had regained his Magical Ginzu Sword, and thanks to Guru Lou he is back in Little Tokyo, sailing through the air to meet up with the Rescue Team, who are preparing to storm Evil Guido's fortress. Let's check in on those goofballs now, shall we?
Back at the communication tuna dish, Meowzma and General Catton had just gotten the scoop that they'd been waiting for. Guido was training all the beautiful girls he had cooped up in there, and he meant business. The psycho posing as their friend was already expecting them to storm the place. "Well, or cover's blown. What say we go through with the plan, anyway? He's expecting us, and it'd be rude not to accept the invitation." General Catton decided, without any consent from Meowzma. Suddenly, a whistling sound came up over the horizon. "General, you hear that whistling sound?" Meowzma asked. "Of course I did. Of course, it's probably nothing to worry about. Keep listening to the transmissions, there's bound to be some more info lurking about somewhere, and I wanna make sure we find it." Catton urged. Meowzma nodded and resumed his work. However, that whistling sound was beginning to bother him. "That darned sound's not quitting. It's grinding my nerves down, and I can't work like this." Meowzma profusely complained. "Need a hand?" asked a voice from above. Meowzma looked up, and saw two figures flying through the bright sunlight. One of the two hopped down from above. It was Super Spritz, ready to go! "Super Spritz is here, and I'm pumped for action! What's the problem, Meowzma?" Spritz asked, as Bat Cat swooped down, coming in for a landing safely by the other Rescue Team members. Meowzma scratched his head. "You guys came at a good time. We got some information on Guido from the inside thanks to this little com. Dish here. I'd like to do more, honestly, but that whistling sound is killing my ears, and it's getting' louder." Meowzma explained. Bat Cat nodded, licked his finger and stuck it in the air. "Mmm-hmm. Yep, everything seems perfect." Bat Cat announced. "Perfect? Whaddya mean by that?" Meowzma and Spritz asked at the same time. "Aiiiieeeeee!!!!" shouted another voice from above as Speedy suddenly fell from the sky, landing face first straight through the communications tuna dish. "That lunatic's got worse aim than Francine. can I take a nap now?" Speedy asked as he quickly passed out.
"What I meant was perfect for another landing." Bat Cat explained, and he couldn't have been more correct. The Rescue Team had to wake Speedy up immediately, so General Catton gave him a firm, friendly tap on the head. "Yow! Polly, not the frying pan again, I can't take it anymore." Speedy spoke groggily as he opened his eyes. He looked around to find all 4 members of the Rescue Team around him. "You okay, Speedy? It's time to move, so we were forced to wake you up using whatever means necessary." General Catton explained. Speedy nodded. "Alright, thanks, General. Remind me to hire you as an alarm clock sometime. Same effect without the racket." Speedy drew the Magical Ginzu Sword from its sheath and pointed it toward the Palace. "All right, Rescue Team! It's time ta storm Evil Guido's fortress! Are there any last words before our big show-off?" he asked. Immediately, Meowzma wildly flailed his arms to try and get attention, since what he had to say was incredibly vital to their mission! "Wait, before we rush onto the scene with our fists flying, there's something you guys ought ta know! Guido's been putting the babes in that castle into shape, and they're ready to fight!" Faced with this new information, Speedy makes a critical decision that could determine the. wait, they're the good guys, so he was bound to win either way. "Got that right! Let's knock their weapons away! Keep em off their toes!" "Don't you mean on their toes?" Bat Cat asked. "No! If the women are on their toes, they'll still be on-balance enough ta fight! So that's why we keep em off their toes, get it?" Speedy explained. "Right." Bat Cat replied.
"Alright then, I guess it's time for a big opening then. Are we ready?" "Yes!" Replied the Rescue Team. Speedy and the rest of the Rescue Team, who were ready, ran to the bridge of the Palace. Once they got there, the 5 Pizza Cats stood for a moment. Everything became dark as the mysterious spotlight shone on Meowzma. "Hey, Guido! The Pizza leader's back, so we're gonna hack! Through your defenses, that is. I'm Meowzma, the cutting whiz! Yeah!" Meowzma shouted, slicing the air with his saw blades. The spotlight switched onto Bat Cat next. "For a change we're all here, and I'm set into gear! You better watch out cuz when we fly, we really fly high! Bat Cat here!" The spotlight moved onto Spritz. "They say a dab'll do ya, but I prefer a gallon or two. Super Spritz is here to wash, rinse and dry your clock, got it?" the spotlight began moving on to General Catton, "I'm the ringleader of this little red wagon! General Catton's orders are attack and move out!" General Catton shouted, a giant fireball blasting from his twin cannon backpack. Finally, the spotlight moved on to Speedy. "And I'm the guy who'd be sitting in the back row, watching these weirdoes behind three feet of solid steel, but I got a job ta do! Speedy Cerviche!" Around Speedy, the rest of the Rescue Team posed. "Guido, we're comin' for ya!" they all shouted at once. "Okay, guys time to get moving!" Speedy shouted. "RIGHT!" the Rescue Team shouted, as they all rushed toward the Palace.
Speedy was the first to reach the Palace, his hover shoes cranked to maximum power. Speedy drew his sword, and was about to slash the door out of his way, when a sharp clang of metal against harder metal reminded him of the Princess' budget plan, where most of the remaining money in Little Tokyo was being donated to rebuilding the 'foundation of our modern-day society.' Speedy calmly opened the door and walked in. Inside, the Palace was unusually calm, still, and sinisterly dark. No lights were on, so Speedy had to feel his way through for a moment before Meowzma turned on his head lights, giving everyone plenty of light to work with. The entrance to the Palace lead straight down a long hall. The long hall, alternatively, lead to the conference room of the Palace. "I don't get it, you'd think something'd be different here." Meowzma spoke out loud. Speedy reached the end of the conference room and was about to enter a door on the left side of the room, when an authoritative female voice shouted out, "Hold it right there, buster!" "Huh, who said that?" Speedy asked. Suddenly, he saw stars as a massive impact rocked his face. The pain was strangely familiar. "A frying' pan. Polly?!" Speedy asked. "That's right!" shouted the feline fighter, who dropped down from the wall adjacent to Speedy, a frying pan in one hand and a sword in the other. Polly was dressed in a schoolgirl's outfit- a blouse and a miniskirt, all red in color, but her face was full of seriousness and anger. "Yeah, I'm Polly. And you bozos aren't getting anywhere near my totally groovy and righteous Guido!" Speedy's eyes bugged out.
"Groovy and righteous Guido? That guy's so full of himself I'm surprised that he can fly!" Speedy retorted. "Come on, Polly you think we're givin' up that easy? Get outta the way before ya get hurt." Speedy calmly explained. A large stress mark appeared in Polly's forehead. "No! I won't let you through! You won't pass through here!" Polly shouted, rushing toward Speedy and blocking the doorway. Speedy's eyebrows turned downward. "Oh yeah? You and what army?" he asked as he attempted to pry Polly off of the doorframe, without any luck at all. "THIS army!" Polly shouted suddenly. She pulled her whistle, and began playing a strange tune on it. Quite suddenly, tiny sparks of light appeared everywhere on the ceilings and walls. Before Meowzma could flash his lights up in that direction though, several dark shapes dropped from the ceilings and walls. Halfway down to the ground, the shadows suddenly bloomed outward with an audible flapping of cloth, and the shapes that were dropping began to do so slowly. The figures of the fiery female fighters finally floated to the ground, and Polly grinned. "Ah, did I forget to mention that I invited some friends to help protect Guido? Oh, silly me." Polly giggled in a mocking tone.
The light from Meowzma's digging equipment highlighted all of the women that had just landed, in time to see each of them draw a weapon. The women, one of which included Francine as well, were all wearing the same schoolgirl outfits as Polly, only in different colors. Francine's skirt, for instance was green, and Francine was wielding a bow and arrow set. "Hold it right there!" Francine shouted. "Okay, the cosine divided by the hypotenuse presented by the distance and height, added to the give factor.. Got it!" Francine spoke quickly to herself before firing off an arrow at Speedy. "Ya-ha-ha!" Speedy cried out loud. He ducked quickly, but the arrow still shaved a hair off of his scalp, which Speedy realized a moment later when a hair fell onto the palm of his hand. "Sheesh, Francine's good with that thing. Real good!" "Don't forget about me!" Polly yelled, slicing at Speedy with her sword, only to have the cut blocked by Speedy's sword. This clash of blades triggered a reaction in the rest of the women, and they proceeded to begin fighting with their weapons as well. 2 of them dueled with Meowzma, 3 girls attempted to gang up on General Catton, 2 other females fought with Spritz, and Bat Cat was surrounded by 4 of the fighters. Meanwhile, Speedy had to deal with Polly while Francine shot arrows at him. This battle was going to cause quite the splitting headache.
"Speedy did say to keep em off their toes, and I got just the idea." Meowzma said. "Sorry bout the shoes, ma'am, but I got a job to do." He apologized quickly, before dropping to the ground. Just as the iguana girl on the right was about to run him through with a saber, Meowzma thrust one of his saw blades forward, making his mark by cutting off the back block of the girl's left high-heeled shoe. It was a pretty tough maneuver, but it had worked to his advantage as the iguana began to lose her balance on the left side. Meowzma rose to his feet and prepared to cut off the back block on the other foot, when the squirrel he'd just fended off came back with her kinsu knives at the ready. "Take this!" the squirrel yelled. She was about to run Meowzma through, but thanks to years of being poked with knives in preparation for being a Rescue team member, Meowzma took a jump back before darting forward and slicing the knives to ribbons. "Next time you wanna try and take a piece outta me, you might wanna try using a Miracle Knife!" Meowzma explained before knocking the girl back. "Right, time to take care of business. I'd like to stay here with you ladies a bit longer, but I got a show to do!" then he cut the back block off of both of the girls' high heels. "Waaah! Our shoes are ruined!" the lizard girl whined. "What should we do now?" the squirrel asked. She tried to get to her feet, but lost her balance with the back of the shoe gone. With a thud, she landed and started crying. "This is hopeless! We should just give up and run away! Now my clothes are dirty and my leg hurts. waaahhh!!" both of the girls whined some more, then kicked off their worthless shoes and ran away.
"Well, that's shoe business. Now I should probably lend a hand to Bat Cat over there." Meowzma said as he raced to join Bat Cat's side of the fight. "You know, I always knew you had that special touch with the ladies." Meowzma remarked as the mouse wearing tan swung her saber at Bat Cat, only to have it deflected by Meowzma's can-opening blade, which shot out of his forearm armor. Meanwhile, Bat Cat was forced to use a knife since he couldn't get enough distance to turn the tides with a little wind power. A knife against a cat with a mace and a dog wielding a 2x4 wasn't all that appealing. "Yeah, animal magnetism comes in handy at times like these, doesn't it?" Bat cat replied, backing away from the cat's mace, only to be faced with the 2x4 the next second. Bringing out his patented all-purpose Samurai Knife and Pizza Cutter, Bat Cat stabbed forward, cutting a large hole in the wood that was thrust at him. The dog backed away, her nerves rattled, and Bat Cat grinned. The opportunity had come. Running past the dog, Bat Cat turned around again, and lowered his hood. The rotors attached to his backpack also lowered into position, and Bat Cat prepared to wield the mighty Rescue Team Tornado. "Tonight, a hurricane! Feel the hurricane." Bat Cat sang as he flipped the switch and the rotors sparked to life, immediately spinning fast enough to generate a powerful gust which blew the cat and the dog back into the other room, where they promptly decided that enough was enough. Bat Cat was about to pat himself on the back, when he remembered what the wolf girl had been carrying. "Huraaaa!!!" the wolf yelled from just behind Bat Cat. Turning around, Bat Cat saw her lifting the broad ax. Bat Cat realized that it was too late. He was a goner. "Too late! I'm a goner!" Bat Cat shouted. All he could do in the split second it would take to bring that thing down was put his hands out in front of his face. "Hu-aaaaahhh!!" the girl screamed suddenly. After feeling nothing for a moment, Bat Cat opened his eyes. The wolf was arched backwards, her hands holding the broad ax, which was now embedded in the ground behind her. Bat Cat laughed nervously. "Hey baby, you shouldn't be carrying around something so heavy!" "Hey, you alright?" Meowzma asked, after having dealt with the mouse. He looked down at the wolf girl, still trying to get up, but without letting go of the ax. "Yeah, I'm fine. Looks like she bit off a bit more than she could chew." Bat Cat commented. "We should help out someone. I'll get Speedy and you take care of the General." Meowzma instructed. Bat Cat nodded. "Right!" he said before zipping off to the other corner of the room.
Left to fend for himself, Spritz went to work against the katana- carrying cat schoolgirl, and the whip-wielding raccoon schoolgirl that were out to get him. "I'm glad I got my tanks refilled before now." Spritz sighed, lifting his left arm to fire a spurt of water toward the cat, but the arm was held back by a whip. Spritz grimaced as the cat girl took a wild swing at him, only to have him dodge. Spritz lifted his right arm and pointed it at the cat girl, but she took another wild swing toward him, and Spritz had to withdraw his arm to keep it from getting chopped off. "That does it. They say I'm a little wet behind the ears, but I'll let you be the judge of that." Spritz said as a large funnel lifted up on a metal pole attached to the back of his helmet. The funnel pointed toward the cat, and a giant burst of water sprayed out, knocking the cat back. She got up again, only to have her high heels slip on the wet floor in front of her and she fell again. Then she decided that enough was enough. "By the way, you mind if I have that?" Spritz asked, spraying a small bit of water up the whip and at the raccoon girl's hand. Then Spritz gave a tug and the whip slid out of the girl's slippery hand. "Thank you, thank you very much." Spritz said, lifting his arm again and spraying the raccoon girl again, this time with enough water to drown an alley cat. Spritz looked at the whip for a moment, then casually tossed it to the ground. "Whips went outta style years ago anyway." He said. Bat Cat was helping Catton, and Meowzma was lending Speedy a hand. Nobody needed his help right now, so Spritz took the opportunity to watch the fights and intervene if anyone got in trouble.
General Catton wasn't doing too well. 3 to 1 odds, and the ram, mink, and fox that he was fighting were all packing heavy artillery. "I can't stand people dodging my firepower, it really irritates me!" General Catton yelled as he fired off another shot in the fox's direction, only to have her jump out of the way. "I can't take anymore! That does it, gimme that!" the general roared, taking the nunchakus right out of the ram's hands. He then proceeded to slap the air around him skillfully with the strange weapon. "It's about time those Ninja Turtle movies paid off!" General Catton proceeded to slap at the hands of the fox, who was trying to chop him up with her scimitars. After having her wrists thoroughly tapped with the sticks of justice, the fox ran away. General Catton, whose focus had been on the fox, didn't notice the dark, mink-shaped shadow behind him. "Hey, that's fighting dirty!" Bat cat shouted from some distance away. General Catton felt a slight breeze and heard a cry as the mink was blown away by Bat Cat's method of air travel. Turning around, General Catton looked at the ground where the mink was. He found several throwing knives, forming a trail leading to a hole in the wall. "They don't call us the Rescue Team for nothin'. Thanks for the help, Bat Cat." General Catton thanked his colleague. However, Bat Cat's attention was drawn to the ram who was crying because General Catton had stolen her nunchakus and used them without even asking. "General, is it just my eyes, or does she look like Lucille?!" Bat Cat asked. "What?" the general asked, spinning around to see the ram's hair AND arms opening up slowly.
Though the magic of fanfiction, we bring the readers back to the point before General Catton's battle in order to share Speedy's experience, which we should have done before, but never got around to doing. Speedy was busy performing a traditional Mexican Cat Dance, in a desperate attempt to dodge Polly's daggers and Francine's arrows at the same time. And it would have worked, had Francine NOT started pulling bombs out of her quiver of arrows. "BOMBS?! Won't that destroy the conference room?" Speedy asked, leaping out of the way of a bomb which proceeded to blow through the wall that he'd been standing by. The property damage would be far more than Francine's checkbook would be willing to give up, but that didn't stop her from throwing at least 2 of the explosives, anyway. What did stop her was having her arms pulled behind her back all of a sudden. "Sorry, big leader, but we have a job to do, and Rescue Team rule #472 says if you have a job to do, do it. Nothing personal." Meowzma apologized, as he proceeded to keep Francine pinned. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Polly and Francine asked at once. Polly moved to knock Meowzma off of Francine, when Speedy came from out of nowhere, blocking her way. The two cats clashed blades again. "Polly, I-" Speedy managed to blurt out before the ominous sound of rocket fire alerted everyone in the room to Lucille's presence. Without knowing what hit them, or fully knowing what hit them, everybody still in the room was thrown backwards, forwards, every way possible by the explosions that ensued. The room became a veritable government nuclear test site, minus the radiation. Everybody awoke from the brief, induced nap feeling dazed, but also feeling decent. "Huh? What's goin' on?" Polly asked. "Hey, business was booming, why am I here?" Francine questioned. "I want to go home, it's so dark and scary in here!" Lucille exclaimed. Could it be that Lucille's explosive personality brought out the best in everyone? Well, maybe not everybody. "You can say that again, my head's killin' me." Speedy muttered dully, rubbing his cranium. "Ugh. same here. At least Polly and the others seem like they've regained their senses." General Catton added. "Maybe we should take them out of here. Oh, I got it. Let's get the girls back to that warehouse we were at." The general ordered. "I'll take Polly and Francine. I only have two arms, so somebody get Lucille for me, will ya?" "I'll get her for ya. I've been wanting something to do since the fighting stopped." Spritz explained. Polly glared at the lot of the Pizza Cats. "Just what d'you mean? Why do we have to go? Francine and I can still fight, can't we Francine?" Polly asked. Speedy began to sweat. "It's okay, Polly. I just thought that you, Francine an Lucille'd be tired after all that, ya know?" Speedy asked. "We just thought you'd want to rest." Polly yawned quite suddenly. "I guess you're right, Speedy. But you don't have to carry us- we're not dead. Come on, Francine, Lucille, let's get going." "Alright, let's go." Lucille agreed. "Then let's get going. Bye, boys." Francine bid the other Pizza Cats goodbye as she, Polly and Lucille walked out of the building. After a small distance from the Palace, Lucille and the two cats parted ways. It was then that Francine noticed that Polly was leading the way toward the Pizza Emporium. "Polly, it's not like you to agree with what those guys have to say. What's up?" Francine asked. Polly grinned. "You know it, Francine. I've had it with being pushed around. We're going back to the Palace, armor-up and in style. What do you say?" Polly asked. Francine thought about it for a minute. "Sounds good. Let's get going, we don't want to keep the guys waiting too long, ya know."
And so it was, Polly and Francine ran as fast as their little kitty paws could take them. Over the pagoda and through the window, to the Pizza Cat's Parlor, they'd go. After a while of good running, the two cats finally made it back to their restaurant. Polly led Francine in, swung the doors open- and was face to face with Guru Lou. With a shriek, Polly jumped backward. "Guru Lou? What the heck are you doing here?" Polly demanded, her eyes turned downward in a mixture of surprise and anger. All Lou did was chuckle. "Well, if it isn't Polly Esther. Oh, and Francine, too! What brings you ladies to this happy corner of the world?" Lou asked, leering at Polly and grinning. Polly brushed past the guru impatiently. "I've got no time to chat, Lou- me and Francine are blasting off, so get to those controls!" Polly ordered, dragging Lou over to the now- infamous back room and throwing him in there. "Use the computer and try to aim carefully. We're headed toward the Palace." Polly instructed Lou, who merely shrugged. "I know how to aim this thing, I had practice with Speedy earlier." Lou explained. With a nod, Polly leapt to the oven station number 3, while Francine went and hopped into the secret compartment in the back room where Guru Lou was. Lou made a note of the hidden compartment for future reference, then turned back to the computer, and got to work. He looked at the view-screen, where the crosshair pointed out where he was aiming, and Lou chuckled to himself. "Ya know, I'm starting to like this gig. This is funnier than launching dynamite at a rival chemical lab." Guru Lou pointed the cannon at the base of the Palace, then spoke into the microphone, "HEY ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE SITTING AT HOME READING STORIES ON THE INTERNET AT TIMES LIKE THIS? ANYWAY, I'M GONNA LAUNCH THESE TWO CATS OFF NOW, SO BEAT IT WHEN YOU HERE THE SOUND OF THE GUN! FIRE 1 AND 2!" Lou exclaimed, as the red and green bullets that Polly and Francine were in were launched from the main cannon (Polly) and the auxiliary cannon atop the main one that Francine herself had constructed. In a fiery blaze the two bullets fell apart, revealing two armored ninja cats who meant business, on a crash course with the Palace! As always, Mama-san and Junior were watching from the ground, sitting on a picnic sheet and slurping ramen. "There goes the next batch of lunatics. Doesn't this town ever get tired of having weirdoes fight its battles?" Mama-san asked. Junior gave a small shrug. "If it's anything like New York, I guess not." "Why's that, junior?" "If New York is the city that never sleeps, it's probably not getting tired anytime soon." Junior noted. "Oh, yeah." Mama-san replied before slurping down some more noodles.
As the two kittens made their way through the air, the Pizza Cats inside the Palace were getting a heavy eyeful of the redecorated rooms. Up the stairs had led to a large, empty room that had disco panels on it- the kind that lit up when somebody stepped on one. "I don't have a good feeling about this room. Let's check it out. Stay here a minute." Bat Cat interjected as Speedy took a step forward. He stepped backward again as Bat cat dug into his backpack and pulled out a light blue marble. He flicked the marble into the room. It bounced and lit up a green, purple, and red panel. It bounced onto a blue panel, which lit up and promptly exploded, leaving a large hole in the floor where it had been. The concussion from the wave knocked Speedy off of his feet. Bat Cat nodded confidently. "I knew Guido'd set up some kinda trap for us. It was too easy getting' in here." He explained. "Okay, guys don't step on the blue ones, got it?" he asked. With a nervous nod from the other cats, Bat Cat stepped forward valorously onto the disco platforms. Looking forward, Bat Cat saw that there were only a few blue panels ahead. If he continued walking in a straight line, all he would have to do is hop over the blue panels. Of course, he could've flown, too, but Bat Cat wasn't sure about that. For all he knew, there could be some kind of anti-air weaponry stocked in the ceiling, like in those old Catman comics he used to read. Bat Cat took another step forward, when suddenly, BOOM! The ground underneath his feet was uplifted with a terrific explosion. That's when Bat Cat noticed that the colors of the panels on the floor shifted from panel to panel when somebody stepped on them. Flung into a wall, Bat Cat slid down and fell in a smoky heap. "Well, that's one way to learn." Bat cat lamented. "Okay guys, we need to watch our feet. I think one cat at a time should walk through." Bat Cat instructed. Speedy looked at the disco panels ahead. Then he looked above at the disco ball that glimmered and lit up the room. "Ya know, I got a better idea." Speedy interjected. "Away with the Ginzu stars!" he shouted, throwing the bladed star at the chain that connected the disco ball to the ceiling. Cutting through cleanly, the Ginzu star landed and got stuck in the wall opposite Speedy. As Speedy predicted, the disco ball dropped onto the floor, promptly landed on a blue panel, which exploded, hurling the disco ball through the ceiling with a terrific crash. "Now for strikes 3 n' 4!" enthusiastically, Speedy leaped into the air, hurling his Ginzu star at the blue panels on the ground. There had to be a limited number of explosives in the disco floorboard- as many as there were blue panels, and Speedy aimed to take them all out. Very soon, the smoke from the tremendous ensuing explosion rose out of the room via the hole in the ceiling, and Speedy and the Rescue Team ran across the presumably safe path. And safe it was for the time being. Meanwhile, Evil Guido had just gotten the shock of his life! "Huh? What the heck was that?! Wait, that's my brand new DISCO BALL!! Darn those cats! They're obviously more resilient than I thought. I'd better go ta greet them soon, or they'll not only have landed on their feet, they'll have landed on my face!" Evil Guido plotted, as he looked at the disco ball that had erupted from several floors down. Evil Guido smirked. He'd obviously underestimated those third-rate alley cats. But he wouldn't underestimate them again, he was sure of it. "Well, back to the drawing board. Time to come up with plan B. In the meantime." Guido spoke to himself, as he pressed a blue button next to him. With a gentle hum, the interior of several rooms within the Palace blared to life. "That'll keep em on their toes for a while."
Several floors down, Speedy and the Rescue Team members were walking down a long, wooden hall. "Is it just me, or are these long wooden halls always showing up somewhere?" Speedy asked aloud to nobody in particular, when suddenly many holes opened in the wood. Through the holes charged thick black spears with glinting points, aimed at the noble heroes! Ducking, Speedy let out a sigh of relief when he realized that this crude measure of safeguarding was only Palace defenses. Little did he know that holes were also opening in the ceiling. With a rusty clank, Speedy heard gears spring to life as spears rushed down from the ceiling, aided by gravity and the gears which forced the spikes down like clockwork. Luckily all of the deadly javelins were lined up in the center of the hallway, allowing Speedy and the others to easily sidle up by the walls and inch sideways to the end of the hallway. Nobody was too shaken by the event, except perhaps General Catton, whose belt had been sliced by on of the spikes after he'd dodged to the wall of the hallway. "Ah, shucks, and that was my good belt, too! Now ya got me steamed!" General Catton roared. With that the general side-walked against the wall quickly and furiously, sometimes breaking one of the poles that had suspended the spikes on the tips as he brushed past.
Finally, they'd gotten out of the seemingly endless hallway of pole spikes, but nobody could shake the feeling that the spikes weren't the only means of Palace defense. Speedy continued leading the pack through another hallway, the same as the last, only now at a slight tilt- the Palace's substitute for stairs. Speedy took a few steps forward, and immediately leapt to the right. There'd been a collapse in the floor underneath his foot, and looking at his left now, he saw a large square hole set into the floor. From a few floors below, Speedy could hear a sharp crack of marble hitting the first-floor floor from the third floor. "Falling panels in the ground. Oh, THAT'S original." Speedy sighed. He and the Rescue Team continued their trek up the hallway, jumping away from the panels at the last second when necessary. These traps were routine and overused, but would have been effective if the Pizza Cats hadn't been trained as samurai. This hallway continued for a while, like the last one. Eventually they turned the corner to face another slanted hallway. Searching the hallway at first glance, there didn't appear to be any traps. Relaxing a little, Spritz led the way nonchalantly, followed closely by Bat Cat. But then, the two leaders spotted movement in the shadows up ahead. "Do you see it too, or have I been watching too many kung-fu movies, Bat Cat?" Spritz asked. Bat Cat was about to answer, but he was quite suddenly cut short by a dagger erupting from the wall to their side. "AIIEEEE!!" the two cats screamed, as a cat in a full-body, slinky black ninja costume ripped through the wall with two daggers. "Where d'you think you're goin', hun? Master Guido doesn't want you getting through, and I don't plan on letting you waltz in! Cut the dancing and fight!" the cat shouted, as she leapt from her hole in the wall and flew through the air toward the two super heroes. Acting on pure instinct, Spritz leapt out of the way while Bat Cat ran back down the hall wailing. This would have accomplished nothing if not for what happened next- the cat was still hanging in mid-air, when the wall opposite her crashed inward, and a red missile collided head-on with the cat, sending her crashing back against the wall, and resulting in her being knocked out cold. The red missile landed on the ground harmlessly, revealing the colored comet to be none other than Polly Esther!
"Polly? Now that's too convenient for comfort." Spritz remarked. As always, this remark seemed to cue some reaction within reality, as another ninja, a cute rabbit ninja dropped from the ceiling, broad sword in hand. The rabbit thrust the large and powerful sword toward Polly! Luckily, through the magic of fanfiction, Polly was saved at the very last moment as Francine flew through the hole Polly had made on the Palace wall. Francine crashed into the ninja rabbit, slowing her down effectively in the air, and sending the rabbit crashing into the wall, also falling unconscious. "Francine, too?" Bat Cat inquired. "Of course it's us, dummy! Did you really think that we were gonna sit around and let you take care of this? First of all, it's gonna take all of us to beat Guido. Secondly, I want to get back at him personally for this disgrace, right Francine?" "Right, Polly. We're women on the move, so don't get in the way! Got it guys?" Francine asked, agreeing with Polly as they both moved to join the group. Speedy and the others were pleasantly surprised to see the two cats returning. "Hey, Polly and Francine, I didn't expect you guys to come back." Speedy commented. "Of course we came back. We wouldn't leave you big strong men to handle Guido all by yourselves." Polly retorted. Before Speedy could reply, General Catton pointed in the shadows presented by the hallway ahead. "Don't go starting a fight now, fellas. There's movement up ahead. Let's get to it, cats!" Catton ordered. With that, the Rescue Team, Speedy, Polly and Francine moved up the hallway. The team had been assembled at long last, and they were prepared to face any challenge, any thread of danger and disaster that lurked in their path. Ahead in the hallway of impending doom, trouble loomed. It was another batch of Guido's girl squad! Several members of the official Guido ninja clan, fully trained in the arts of combat and badminton, these girls were bad to the bone, and determined to keep Speedy and the others from reaching Guido. "Well, if it isn't more babes to bust. This is getting repetitive." Speedy remarked, receiving a slap upside the head from Polly. "Come on, Speedy concentrate, we have a job to do." She reminded him. Speedy rubbed his head and looked around. There were about 7 ninja positioned around the hallway in different areas, such as one hanging to the ceiling, one clinging to a wall, several biding their time while sitting on the floor, one just barely visible underneath the floor, and another ninja clinging to another wall. "Let's get em!" Polly shouted, as the Pizza Cats rushed forward to do combat. The ninja followed the movements of the cats and began charging forward as well.
"Get em, girls! Split them up and get in close so they can't use their powers. You remember what happened to the last group!" the leader of the ninja girls called out, as she led the pack toward the Pizza Cat group. In a second, the two groups merged into a single warring pack. Each Pizza Cat, rather conveniently at that, was having a one on one duel with a ninja, and the sides were pretty even. Each was armed with a type of sword, making the combat all the more equalized for both sides. Speedy was face to face with Ruby, though he'd never seen her personally and didn't recognize her, who had a huge pair of glasses taped to her head, which made fighting a tad awkward. But Ruby's weapon, a claymore, was equally awkward, and the imbalance in skill and balance made Ruby's swings as unpredictable as what Albert Einstein would say in a barbershop. Speedy dodged this way and that, trying to evade the deadly swings. The weight of the sword wasn't easy to block if Speedy used his own sword, and Ruby wasn't giving him a chance to go on the offensive. However, at times likes this Speedy always remembers that the best defense is a good offense, so Speedy waited until after Ruby's next blade stroke, dodged, then leapt forward and executed an overhead swing, causing ruby to back away. Ruby's sword came down, then she used the momentum and turned the blade up to strike at Speedy, but of course the Magical Ginzu Sword was light as a feather. Speedy twisted his sword's path around, blocking the upward claymore strike, then he continued going on the offensive, taking swings by Ruby's head to shake her a bit, and forcing her to back away. Speedy knew that his offensive wasn't going to hold her back forever, so as Ruby came back again with a fierce strike that came a smidgen too close to Speedy's whiskers, effectively unnerving the brave fighter, he readied a special treat that he'd been saving. Suddenly, he leaped backward into the air and threw something at Ruby, who lifted her claymore to deflect the projectile. A second later the big sword came apart at the seams as the entire blade fell off of the hilt. "That was the super-special stale pizza slicing star, copyright the Samurai Pizza Cats, 2002!" Speedy announced. Ruby looked at the hilt in her hands with her glasses for a moment. "Good shot, I'm getting out of here!" Ruby shouted as she retreated back up the hallway, disappearing into the shadows once more.
Speedy gave a small victory cheer in mid-air before promptly landing on somebody's head. "Alright, I did it! Ya-ha-ha!" Speedy cheered, patting himself on the back. "Hey, who's up there? I just had my hair stylized too, and your dirty feet are messing it all up!" the girl yelled. Speedy had just landed on the head of the ninja leader! Of course, at this point she had been engaged in combat with Polly, but that wasn't going to last much longer, as Polly moved in for the finishing blow while she was suddenly distracted. With a slash through the air, Polly's blade crossed the face of the ninja leader. Polly had intended to go for a cut, but the sudden movement hadn't been anticipated, and so Polly's sword had come so close to cutting the cat's face that there was a line of skin that could be seen. "My makeup, too! I spent an entire day polishing this perfect face up and you and your sword have ruined everything. I'm such a mess and it makes me so fired-up!" The woman shouted, as she began to glow red. That was when Speedy and Polly simultaneously realized that the leader, a cat with an oddly round head, has a long, thin ponytail that matched her sky-blue hair. But this was no ordinary ponytail, as it lit up in sections, almost like a fuse that had been lit. The light began at the back of the ponytail, and slowly crept up along the shaft of the hair-tube. "Polly, what's goin' on?!" Speedy asked. "I don't know but I get the feeling that if we stick around, we're toast!" Polly yelled in response. Backing away, they both watched as the leader's hair light slowly crept until it finally reached the back of her head. Then nothing happened. "What?! I thought for sure there was going to be some kinda unearthly explosion!" Speedy shouted. "Hey, if you guys aren't too busy we could use some help over here!" shouted Spritz, who was currently fighting a tiger who appeared to be a master at using a very, very sharp fencing foil. Speedy called to Spritz that he'd be there in a second, when Polly tugged at his arm. "Speedy, I think you'd better look at this." Polly whispered. Speedy turned around again, to find a thick black shell forming around the blue- haired cat. A black sphere formed by the black-shell material covered the cat entirely, began to glow red, and then THAT exploded. A horrendous hurricane of heat tossed everybody in every direction possible. Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, it was the ninja girls who ended up being tossed through the windows. Luckily ninja and cats share the ability to always land on their feet, so nobody was harmed in the making of this explosion. Speedy collapsed in a heap underneath a small bit of rubble. The entire hallway was thrashed now- rubble from the ceiling, holes in the floor, walls knocked out, windows ceasing to exist, the whole works. Worse yet, if Speedy knew Big Al Dente as well as he thought he did, this was all coming out of their paychecks for the next 3 years. "Oh, man, this is a disaster!" Speedy exclaimed.
"You said it. We have to catch up to Guido before anything else can go wrong. Come on, move it!" Polly yelled. She was already back on her feet, along with the Rescue Team. Francine and Speedy hadn't yet gotten up and Polly was worried and impatient at the same time. At this point, Francine was just poking her head through a large pile of ceiling material. "Wow! That's the first major explosion I've ever been in! What a thrill! I don't believe that you guys do this all the time." Francine exclaimed, genuinely perplexed. "Yeah, it's a real smash alright." Speedy spoke flatly, hardly able to believe that Francine thought this was fun. "Anyway Fran, let's get going or Polly'll get mad at us." Nodding, Francine dug herself out of the debris, and Speedy was on his feet at about the same time. Since Polly and the others had gone ahead already, Speedy and Francine had to turn on their Samurai Hover Shoes to catch up to the group. "Took you slowpokes long enough, are ya ready?" Bat Cat asked as Speedy and Francine joined him in the back of the group. Speedy gave a nod, and Francine was too busy to notice with her mind set on calculating how much money it'd take to clear up all of this property damage.
There were no more traps around as the group continued on foot, turning another corner, and going up another long, slanted hallway. After a few minutes of good running, Francine bumped into Speedy, who'd been bumped by Bat Cat, who'd been bumped by Spritz, who'd been bumped by Meowzma, who'd been bumped by General Catton, who'd been bumped by Polly when she suddenly stopped running. "Hey guys! Look, it's Guido! He's up at the top of the hallway." Polly spoke, pointing up a bit. Everyone, having fallen down, let out a groan. "Next time could you warn us before doing that, Ma'am?" General Catton asked. "I'm sorry, but I thought it was important. C'mon guys, get up! Guido's just ahead!" Polly exclaimed. Everybody got up, and they all began running toward the top of the hallway. After another moment or so, they had all made it to the top, where the ground was leveled out. Evil Guido waited in front of them, tapping his foot impatiently. "It took you guys long enough to get here. Whatsa matter, were my traps too good for you guys?" he asked smugly. "Don't be so cocky, big shot!" Meowzma yelled from behind General Catton and Polly. "Yeah, those traps were about as tough as toothpaste." Bat Cat interjected. "It's arrogant villains like you that make this place interesting, but really!" Spritz added in. "Hey, don't forget about us back here! We're back in action!" Speedy shouted. "Me, too!" Francine piped up. "They're right, you know. We're all here to kick your butt." General Catton spoke. "It's pay back time for everything you've put us through in the last 2 days, Guido!" Polly interjected. Everybody posed simultaneously. "The Pizza Cats are back!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you idiots don't know when to quit. I've heard it all before. Don't you know that when you play with fire, you get burnt? It's always the same, even when you're in a group. This time you're all working together and blah-dee-blah. If I beat you, it'll mean that nothing can stop me! Nothing will be able to stop the unstoppable Guido. I'll be the baddest cat ever, the coolest dude around. Heh." Guido chuckled to himself. "So. what do we do now? You guys have ticked me off sooo much since you started layin' siege to my castle. You ruined my warrior harem, you destroyed my beautiful building, and you made my precious ninja warriors look like fools. I should rub you all outta the picture right now! But that's not sportsman-like, or fun. So I'll give you all a chance, how's that sound? I'll even throw in a bonus opportunity for you to take advantage of. Follow me to the top, where my mind-control machine is. if a group of circus clowns like you can, that is. See ya there!" Guido invited, as he hovered into the air, then flew up the staircase, quick as a flash. However, in a second or two following, a giant boulder appears where Guido had stood. It filled up the entire whole of the hallway, and loomed like a giant tower of doom over the heroic cats. "Holy cow, if that thing gets rolling, we're. Huh?" Speedy asked. While he'd been blabbing, the boulder had begun to roll, but the other Pizza Cats were nowhere in sight. "Wait, where'd everyone go? C'mon, can't we negotiate?" Speedy asked the boulder. The boulder, in response, began to roll faster before cracking and crumbling into pebbles, General Catton standing right behind where the boulder had been, his cannons in the firing position. "It's a shame he doesn't catch on more quickly, huh?" General Catton asked. Polly shook her head. "Huh? What?" Speedy asked, before Polly walked over and began dragging him toward the staircase that was in the back of the room at the top of the slanted hallway, where everyone else was going. "It's okay, Speedy, don't try to strain a brain cell over it." Polly sighed. The two began climbing the staircase side by side. "So Speedy, do you really think we can beat Guido this time around?" Polly asked. Speedy nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure of it. He's good at close range fighting with a few people, but if we're all fighting him at once, he can't try to pick us off one at a time without somebody else getting him from behind. We have the advantage this time. Now stop worrying Polly. You're the one who said you wanted revenge, anyway." Speedy said. Polly nodded. "Alright, Let's go."
With that, the Pizza Cats were off like a shot, running up the staircase, dodging bombs that were being dropped from the ceiling, and coming up to the next floor. The next floor of the Palace featured a large number of rooms, only one of which contained a ladder which led to the rooftop. Going from room to room and having to avoid random explosions, leftover ninja and bad birdseed planted along the way, the cats knew that Guido was stalling for time in hopes of something. What he was planning was anybody's guess. The cats continued their trek until finally they reached the ladder. only to find it on fire. So, they summoned Spritz to put out the fire. After turning on the water works, Spritz cleared the fire, and the group was on their way up. None of them had seen the rooftop of the Palace before, but realized that this promised to be quite an epic battle. Reaching the top, everyone was surprised to find that the roof of the Palace was completely flat. Behind the gigantic version of the golden crest of the royal family, the top of the building began slanting on all sides, then leveled out. This was a big relief to everyone because balancing on rooftops that were slanted and trying to fight at the same time was hard work, and after all they'd done today, they were all a tad worn. But as expected, there stood Guido, right in front of them and clapping his hands. He was sitting on a cushion of thin air. "Congratulations, you guys! You passed through my final traps and made it out in one piece. I'm impressed now. I thought for sure you guys wouldn't make it after what I'd already put you through." Guido said, his voice sounding genuinely pleased. Looking around, Francine noticed that in each corner of the leveled section of roof there was a large brick block. "Hey, what are those?" Francine asked, looking around. Guido smirked. "I'm glad you asked, Fran. You see, I am giving you an advantage because my machine is here. However, it is in one of the 4 hollow brick coverings you see here. If you manage to get past me, you'll have the opportunity to destroy it. if you can guess which brick covering it's in. Guess wrong and I'll have to beat you up for it, heh." Guido explained. "So are you all about ready to get it on?" he asked. Once glance at the entire crew was all the answer he needed. "Then let's begin."
For a moment, Guido stayed glued to the spot. He let his feet fall to the floor, and he stood, looking at the team. With a wave of the hand, Guido motioned for the Pizza Cats to make the first move. With a slight nod from the leader, Francine, the rest of the Rescue Team immediately set to work. Bat Cat and Meowzma paired up, as did General Catton and Spritz T. Cat, each combining their backpacks to form two separate and goofy-looking weapons. But Guido wasn't fooled- these were two very powerful weapons sometimes used by the Rescue Team. "Stand by for the Singin' Robot-Wrecking Rotor!" Bat Cat called out, manning the guns of his and Meowzma's creation. "Fire!" he called out. From the weapon came a long, spiraling tunnel of an anonymous gray matter. Guido easily dodged the slow-moving substance, but was caught off-guard a tad when he suddenly came face to face with a mess of energy blasts fired from Spritz and general Catton's combined weapon without warning. A large field of them came out of nowhere, surrounding him in seconds. Guido found an opening and rushed for it through the air. "Hey, where're you goin', Guido?" Speedy asked, leaping into the air. "We ain't letting you go that easily!" he said, slashing at Guido's armor with his sword. Guido was able to dodge the sword slash easily enough, but then came Polly's daggers, which he was nicked by slightly, and then came Francine's gravity net, dragging him to the ground like a plate of one-ton anchovies. "So, Guido, ready to give up yet? The Samurai Pizza Cats always triumph when we work together!" Speedy exclaimed. Guido grimaced at how easily he'd been lulled into underestimating them again. This angered him a great deal. Gritting his teeth, Guido calmly stated, "Ah, no you don't. I ain't giving up that easy." Guido said. That stupid gravity net was murder on his back right now. "Alright, if you say so. Time ta say goodnight! Ya!" Speedy said. As he was saying this, he was going through his ever-familiar killing blow. Drawing his sword, Speedy was surrounded by the swirling pink energy once more. The pink energy delved into his sword as he drew it from the red sheath. From the sword came two swords, one in each hand, which Speedy used to make an x, crossing the swords before separating them and forming a circle around himself. Within it, the cat's eye shape appeared once more, and Speedy brought the swords down forward. The energy slash flew through the air, flying right over Guido and slicing through the brick building in the upper left-hand corner of the roof. The bricks exploded, sending harmless debris over the side of the palace, but underneath the brick there was nothing.
"Rats!" Speedy snapped his fingers. "Hey, guys, I hate to interrupt, but I'm not through, yet!" Guido interjected. Quite suddenly, the area where the ladder was uplifted with a terrific explosion, as the powerful, improved Sunspot Umbrella flew through the air and toward Guido's net. Once there, the edge of the umbrella cut the gravity threads harmlessly, lifted the net up, and Guido escaped. "I guess I should mention that this umbrella of mine's the secret to my success. With it, I can easily pummel you folks. I could without it, of course, but I'd rather save myself the energy." Guido inserted, grinning with the umbrella flashing its brilliant shade of gold light in everybody's eyes. Shading their eyes, the Pizza Cats stood dumbfounded for a moment. Guido took the opportunity to send some energy their way. A large wave of gold energy swept along the ground, aimed dead center for Speedy and the others. Speedy stood, swords at his sides for a moment. Polly had to knock him out of the way before making a big leap herself. "Speedy, stay focused you moron!" Polly yelled. Speedy had snapped out of it for a second there, but now wasn't the time. "Huh?" Speedy asked. He just realized what had happened, and gave himself a mental slap for it. Francine had gotten out of the way in time. Spritz and Bat Cat had made it out of the way well enough- they'd still been carrying those ridiculous weapons around, though. General Catton had gotten blown back, and Meowzma had gone back after dodging to see if he was all right. Catton was okay, but the blow had taken it out of him. "The General here might need a bit of rest! Bat Cat, please cover him." Meowzma asked. Bat Cat nodded, returning Meowzma's backpack to him. "Don't worry, I got things under control here!" Bat Cat reassured his friend. Meowzma nodded and returned to the action. Seeing Catton down, Guido decided to give Bat Cat a bit of trouble with another energy wave. "I said I have things covered here, what are ya deaf?" Bat cat asked. He activated his rotor backpack, activating a high-power tornado. The tornado combined with the energy blast, causing a fiery tornado that was launched toward poor Guido. Speedy took this opportunity to fire and Ginzu Sword assault on another brick building. Polly took care of another one in order to make the operation less tedious, and to take immediate advantage of their time.
The two buildings they had destroyed had both been duds. Guido, now being assaulted by his own energy, was knocked out of the air for a moment. He hadn't expected his own attack to be turned on him by mere wind. Also, Polly and Speedy were about to destroy his precious machine. With another wave of his hand, Guido summoned up some more brick buildings to replace the ones that had been destroyed, then as Speedy launched his attack at the last of the first brick buildings, he teleported the machine to another of the brick buildings. The last brick building appeared to be a dud too, but then Speedy noticed the renewed brick buildings. "Hahaha. Have you figured it out yet, Speedy? Since I made the machine, I can control its movement, and I can teleport it short distances, and that includes into another of my brick buildings I just made." Guido gloated. Speedy grimaced. This was going to take forever. Meanwhile, Polly was attempting to destroy another of the brick buildings. This time, the top of blown off of the building, and inside she could see a strange metal that looked like a weird computer. But the object suddenly vanished, and the top part of that brick building was replaced. Polly had just listened to what Guido had said, too, and wasn't happy about it. "You mean that even if we do find it, you can just send it wherever you want? That's not playing fair!" Polly yelled. Guido shrugged, batting back a burst of water that Spritz had shot at him with his umbrella. "I thought you were playin' by my rules, Polly babe." Guido shot back. Polly's face grew red and her eyebrows turned downward. "Never call me BABE!!" Polly yelled. Drawing her ninja swords, Polly created a heart shape around herself, cutting the shape in the middle and flinging the energy heart toward Guido. As it flew up, Guido knew this routine. He flew off to the side of the heart, letting it explode in the middle as usual. What he didn't expect was for Polly's dagger to come flying at him again so quickly after the energy attack. Guido dodged this way and that, getting scratched by the daggers from time to time. They hurt and it ticked him off ROYALLY. "Well, BABE, get a load of this!" Guido shouted furiously, coming at Polly at a blinding speed. Polly caught on to the act, remembering from the last battle, and stepped out of the way. As Guido came toward the ground, Francine caught Guido in another gravity net. Pulled to the ground, an enraged Guido promptly ripped the net to shreds again with the power of his umbrella. Then he hurled another energy wave toward Polly. "Hey, didn't your mother ever tell you to act nice in the presence of a lady?" Spritz asked, coming up from behind Polly and firing off a large volley of water, which evaporated before the tremendous heat energy, but kept the blast at bay in the process.
The General was managing to get up again. "Hey, Bat Cat. Didja catch the license plate on that brand new car?" Catton asked, getting to his feet. "Right! Rescue Team, let's get em!" he shouted vigorously, running toward the fight site. Guido now hovered in the air. He was about to make another dash for Polly, when a large fireball from Catton's cannons, and an energy slash from Speedy reminded him that there were other fish to fry, too. This whole fight-the-group thing wasn't going like he'd planned. Guido was growing frustrated- he couldn't pick off more than one at a time, and even in cases like with General Catton, they got back up again a few minutes later. If only he had some kind of move that could take them all out at once. "Brilliant! If I could get them all in one place." Guido thought aloud. He had an idea. "Alright, listen up! I, the great Guido, have got it! You guys are finished!" he triumphantly stated. Guido fired an energy shot at Speedy and Polly, who leapt to the sides to avoid the shot. He did this with Bat Cat and Meowzma, too. He shot fireballs all along the edge of the rooftop, while avoiding the brick buildings, attempting to drive the cats into one spot, and like clockwork it had worked. Firing in certain areas, keeping the Pizza Cats backed into eachother, and firing energy in tighter and tighter volleys to keep the cats caged in, it had been truly brilliant. "Here we go!" Guido shouted. Suddenly, the brick buildings all began to collapse- the bricks and mortar simply came apart, and fell to the ground. The machine was visible now, an easy target, but that didn't really matter now. What mattered was what Guido would do next. Speedy spotted the machine at long last, and was about to fire off another energy slash to finish off the mechanism, but Guido fired off another ki blast at Speedy's feet to remind him of the situation he was in. The debris from the brick buildings falling apart began slowly to rise into the air. It was a stretch, controlling this much at once, but Guido could handle it. Then, with a shocking motion and speed, the debris from the four corners started to descend on the trapped Pizza Cats. There was only one thing they could, and would do, and Guido knew it. Once they leapt into the air, that was when Guido would be ready with fireballs for all. Toasted Pizza Cats, extra cheese and hold the olives, please! "Bwahahahaha!" Guido guffawed, barking at his own wit as he prepared a fireball. The first bits of debris reached the cats, and that was when they all jumped simultaneously, with no power in the air whatsoever! "Here you g-waaaahhh!" Guido shouted suddenly. Something had hit him from behind, and he wanted to know what it was. Whatever the thing was, it was clinging to Guido's back and climbing onto his head. The weight there was unbalancing, even for Guido. In front of Guido's eyes appeared the face of somebody he'd never expected to see again. "Howdy there, Guido. I see you're having some trouble with the Pizza Cats, eh?" Guru Lou asked, from atop Guido's head. "Guru Lou?! How the heck did you get here?" Guido asked incredulously. "Well, I saw things were getting kinda hairy up here, so I figured out Francine's nifty auto-launch pod thingy and I decided to invite myself over." Guru Lou explained. "Oh, and you better do something before Speedy destroys your gizmo there, you know." Lou reminded him. In a panic, Guido turned around to see Speedy preparing one final energy blast. Then this would all be over.
The swords in his hands, Speedy concentrated his energy into his swords, bringing them from position x to the circle position. "You're really askin' for it, pal!" Speedy yelled, bringing his swords down once more, launching the power of the Magical Ginzu Sword toward the machine. Before Guido get down there to stop the energy from destroying the machine, before he could remember that he could just teleport the darned thing out of reach because of sheer panic, Guido watched at the yellow line set into the middle of the large, squarish machine. The two halves of the device fell apart, and then the two halves exploded in a mass of nuts and bolts. "NOOOOO!!!" Guido yelled. In a complete rage, he threw down a giant energy beam at the rooftop of the palace. "Well, I'd like to stay, but I'd best be going. Too-d'-loo." Lou said, waving goodbye as he hopped off of the villain's shoulder. "Lucky me I've been designing home-made parachutes, huh?" Lou asked, pulling open a parachute. Suddenly, a hole tore into the fabric. Then two. Then 4. The entire parachute became unstable, and Guru Lou was forced to feel the brunt of impact as he landed in the water by the bridge. Luckily for the Pizza Cats, they had all decided that destroying the machine was a hard day's work come to a close, and they had all learned that a giant fireball means you've worn out your welcome, so they all hopped down the sides of the Palace, escaping effectively. The rest for that day, as the sun began to set upon little Tokyo, is history.
The Pizza Cats were having fun celebrating their victory at the Pizza Parlor, along with Guru Lou, and the beautiful women of Little Tokyo had all been free. It was a happy night in the city. However, there was one dude who was feeling blue, as he rested his head on his arm, looking through the window of his grand bedroom in the Palace that he'd been forced to repair by himself that lonely night. "That. I don't believe it. They beat me somehow. They got lucky like they always do. I'll get those cats for this insult if it's the last thing I do. They haven't heard the last of me." Guido said, a sad tone in his voice. "Ugh. it's cold. and lonely in here. This is all their fault. If they hadn't come in to crash my party, I wouldn't be sitting here sulking and feeling miserable, those darned alley pizza cats." Guido angrily sighed, vowing his revenge for the next day.
((Thus this chapter ends, and boy did it take long enough, too. What will become of Evil Guido? What do the good guys intend to do about it? And what ARE the Big Cheese and his minions doing underneath the city right now? Find out next time on Pizza Cat Chronicles!! ))
((Eh, I finally finished chapters 6 and 7, and I already gave the entire foreshadowing of events for chapter 7 at the beginning of chapter 6, so there's not going to be much of an entrance in this chapter. I doubt anyone'll mind though. So then, greetings, it is I, EB Minion once again! It's been a year, but I bring you two chapters at the same time of Pizza Cat Chronicles! Read, Review, and enjoy them as thoroughly as you can, okay? See you at the end of the chapters!))
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Guru Lou hopped onto the stage of the Sue Hiro Theater. Behind him was a golden backdrop. The genius scientist pulled out what looked like a computer. "Pizza Cat Chronicles!" the scientist shouted. He began typing seemingly random keys onto the computer's keypad, when suddenly blue letters appeared in the foreground, spelling out, 'Guido's Evil Plan Number 0892!' The letters remained suspended in the air by some ungodly technology for a few seconds. Then the letters blew up in Guru Lou's face, and the bright red strings holding the letters up fell to the ground. "Well, it was worth a shot, right? Heheheh." Guru Lou asked, scratching the back of his head, before leaving the theater.
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In our last episode of Pizza Cat Chronicles, a recovered Speedy had regained his Magical Ginzu Sword, and thanks to Guru Lou he is back in Little Tokyo, sailing through the air to meet up with the Rescue Team, who are preparing to storm Evil Guido's fortress. Let's check in on those goofballs now, shall we?
Back at the communication tuna dish, Meowzma and General Catton had just gotten the scoop that they'd been waiting for. Guido was training all the beautiful girls he had cooped up in there, and he meant business. The psycho posing as their friend was already expecting them to storm the place. "Well, or cover's blown. What say we go through with the plan, anyway? He's expecting us, and it'd be rude not to accept the invitation." General Catton decided, without any consent from Meowzma. Suddenly, a whistling sound came up over the horizon. "General, you hear that whistling sound?" Meowzma asked. "Of course I did. Of course, it's probably nothing to worry about. Keep listening to the transmissions, there's bound to be some more info lurking about somewhere, and I wanna make sure we find it." Catton urged. Meowzma nodded and resumed his work. However, that whistling sound was beginning to bother him. "That darned sound's not quitting. It's grinding my nerves down, and I can't work like this." Meowzma profusely complained. "Need a hand?" asked a voice from above. Meowzma looked up, and saw two figures flying through the bright sunlight. One of the two hopped down from above. It was Super Spritz, ready to go! "Super Spritz is here, and I'm pumped for action! What's the problem, Meowzma?" Spritz asked, as Bat Cat swooped down, coming in for a landing safely by the other Rescue Team members. Meowzma scratched his head. "You guys came at a good time. We got some information on Guido from the inside thanks to this little com. Dish here. I'd like to do more, honestly, but that whistling sound is killing my ears, and it's getting' louder." Meowzma explained. Bat Cat nodded, licked his finger and stuck it in the air. "Mmm-hmm. Yep, everything seems perfect." Bat Cat announced. "Perfect? Whaddya mean by that?" Meowzma and Spritz asked at the same time. "Aiiiieeeeee!!!!" shouted another voice from above as Speedy suddenly fell from the sky, landing face first straight through the communications tuna dish. "That lunatic's got worse aim than Francine. can I take a nap now?" Speedy asked as he quickly passed out.
"What I meant was perfect for another landing." Bat Cat explained, and he couldn't have been more correct. The Rescue Team had to wake Speedy up immediately, so General Catton gave him a firm, friendly tap on the head. "Yow! Polly, not the frying pan again, I can't take it anymore." Speedy spoke groggily as he opened his eyes. He looked around to find all 4 members of the Rescue Team around him. "You okay, Speedy? It's time to move, so we were forced to wake you up using whatever means necessary." General Catton explained. Speedy nodded. "Alright, thanks, General. Remind me to hire you as an alarm clock sometime. Same effect without the racket." Speedy drew the Magical Ginzu Sword from its sheath and pointed it toward the Palace. "All right, Rescue Team! It's time ta storm Evil Guido's fortress! Are there any last words before our big show-off?" he asked. Immediately, Meowzma wildly flailed his arms to try and get attention, since what he had to say was incredibly vital to their mission! "Wait, before we rush onto the scene with our fists flying, there's something you guys ought ta know! Guido's been putting the babes in that castle into shape, and they're ready to fight!" Faced with this new information, Speedy makes a critical decision that could determine the. wait, they're the good guys, so he was bound to win either way. "Got that right! Let's knock their weapons away! Keep em off their toes!" "Don't you mean on their toes?" Bat Cat asked. "No! If the women are on their toes, they'll still be on-balance enough ta fight! So that's why we keep em off their toes, get it?" Speedy explained. "Right." Bat Cat replied.
"Alright then, I guess it's time for a big opening then. Are we ready?" "Yes!" Replied the Rescue Team. Speedy and the rest of the Rescue Team, who were ready, ran to the bridge of the Palace. Once they got there, the 5 Pizza Cats stood for a moment. Everything became dark as the mysterious spotlight shone on Meowzma. "Hey, Guido! The Pizza leader's back, so we're gonna hack! Through your defenses, that is. I'm Meowzma, the cutting whiz! Yeah!" Meowzma shouted, slicing the air with his saw blades. The spotlight switched onto Bat Cat next. "For a change we're all here, and I'm set into gear! You better watch out cuz when we fly, we really fly high! Bat Cat here!" The spotlight moved onto Spritz. "They say a dab'll do ya, but I prefer a gallon or two. Super Spritz is here to wash, rinse and dry your clock, got it?" the spotlight began moving on to General Catton, "I'm the ringleader of this little red wagon! General Catton's orders are attack and move out!" General Catton shouted, a giant fireball blasting from his twin cannon backpack. Finally, the spotlight moved on to Speedy. "And I'm the guy who'd be sitting in the back row, watching these weirdoes behind three feet of solid steel, but I got a job ta do! Speedy Cerviche!" Around Speedy, the rest of the Rescue Team posed. "Guido, we're comin' for ya!" they all shouted at once. "Okay, guys time to get moving!" Speedy shouted. "RIGHT!" the Rescue Team shouted, as they all rushed toward the Palace.
Speedy was the first to reach the Palace, his hover shoes cranked to maximum power. Speedy drew his sword, and was about to slash the door out of his way, when a sharp clang of metal against harder metal reminded him of the Princess' budget plan, where most of the remaining money in Little Tokyo was being donated to rebuilding the 'foundation of our modern-day society.' Speedy calmly opened the door and walked in. Inside, the Palace was unusually calm, still, and sinisterly dark. No lights were on, so Speedy had to feel his way through for a moment before Meowzma turned on his head lights, giving everyone plenty of light to work with. The entrance to the Palace lead straight down a long hall. The long hall, alternatively, lead to the conference room of the Palace. "I don't get it, you'd think something'd be different here." Meowzma spoke out loud. Speedy reached the end of the conference room and was about to enter a door on the left side of the room, when an authoritative female voice shouted out, "Hold it right there, buster!" "Huh, who said that?" Speedy asked. Suddenly, he saw stars as a massive impact rocked his face. The pain was strangely familiar. "A frying' pan. Polly?!" Speedy asked. "That's right!" shouted the feline fighter, who dropped down from the wall adjacent to Speedy, a frying pan in one hand and a sword in the other. Polly was dressed in a schoolgirl's outfit- a blouse and a miniskirt, all red in color, but her face was full of seriousness and anger. "Yeah, I'm Polly. And you bozos aren't getting anywhere near my totally groovy and righteous Guido!" Speedy's eyes bugged out.
"Groovy and righteous Guido? That guy's so full of himself I'm surprised that he can fly!" Speedy retorted. "Come on, Polly you think we're givin' up that easy? Get outta the way before ya get hurt." Speedy calmly explained. A large stress mark appeared in Polly's forehead. "No! I won't let you through! You won't pass through here!" Polly shouted, rushing toward Speedy and blocking the doorway. Speedy's eyebrows turned downward. "Oh yeah? You and what army?" he asked as he attempted to pry Polly off of the doorframe, without any luck at all. "THIS army!" Polly shouted suddenly. She pulled her whistle, and began playing a strange tune on it. Quite suddenly, tiny sparks of light appeared everywhere on the ceilings and walls. Before Meowzma could flash his lights up in that direction though, several dark shapes dropped from the ceilings and walls. Halfway down to the ground, the shadows suddenly bloomed outward with an audible flapping of cloth, and the shapes that were dropping began to do so slowly. The figures of the fiery female fighters finally floated to the ground, and Polly grinned. "Ah, did I forget to mention that I invited some friends to help protect Guido? Oh, silly me." Polly giggled in a mocking tone.
The light from Meowzma's digging equipment highlighted all of the women that had just landed, in time to see each of them draw a weapon. The women, one of which included Francine as well, were all wearing the same schoolgirl outfits as Polly, only in different colors. Francine's skirt, for instance was green, and Francine was wielding a bow and arrow set. "Hold it right there!" Francine shouted. "Okay, the cosine divided by the hypotenuse presented by the distance and height, added to the give factor.. Got it!" Francine spoke quickly to herself before firing off an arrow at Speedy. "Ya-ha-ha!" Speedy cried out loud. He ducked quickly, but the arrow still shaved a hair off of his scalp, which Speedy realized a moment later when a hair fell onto the palm of his hand. "Sheesh, Francine's good with that thing. Real good!" "Don't forget about me!" Polly yelled, slicing at Speedy with her sword, only to have the cut blocked by Speedy's sword. This clash of blades triggered a reaction in the rest of the women, and they proceeded to begin fighting with their weapons as well. 2 of them dueled with Meowzma, 3 girls attempted to gang up on General Catton, 2 other females fought with Spritz, and Bat Cat was surrounded by 4 of the fighters. Meanwhile, Speedy had to deal with Polly while Francine shot arrows at him. This battle was going to cause quite the splitting headache.
"Speedy did say to keep em off their toes, and I got just the idea." Meowzma said. "Sorry bout the shoes, ma'am, but I got a job to do." He apologized quickly, before dropping to the ground. Just as the iguana girl on the right was about to run him through with a saber, Meowzma thrust one of his saw blades forward, making his mark by cutting off the back block of the girl's left high-heeled shoe. It was a pretty tough maneuver, but it had worked to his advantage as the iguana began to lose her balance on the left side. Meowzma rose to his feet and prepared to cut off the back block on the other foot, when the squirrel he'd just fended off came back with her kinsu knives at the ready. "Take this!" the squirrel yelled. She was about to run Meowzma through, but thanks to years of being poked with knives in preparation for being a Rescue team member, Meowzma took a jump back before darting forward and slicing the knives to ribbons. "Next time you wanna try and take a piece outta me, you might wanna try using a Miracle Knife!" Meowzma explained before knocking the girl back. "Right, time to take care of business. I'd like to stay here with you ladies a bit longer, but I got a show to do!" then he cut the back block off of both of the girls' high heels. "Waaah! Our shoes are ruined!" the lizard girl whined. "What should we do now?" the squirrel asked. She tried to get to her feet, but lost her balance with the back of the shoe gone. With a thud, she landed and started crying. "This is hopeless! We should just give up and run away! Now my clothes are dirty and my leg hurts. waaahhh!!" both of the girls whined some more, then kicked off their worthless shoes and ran away.
"Well, that's shoe business. Now I should probably lend a hand to Bat Cat over there." Meowzma said as he raced to join Bat Cat's side of the fight. "You know, I always knew you had that special touch with the ladies." Meowzma remarked as the mouse wearing tan swung her saber at Bat Cat, only to have it deflected by Meowzma's can-opening blade, which shot out of his forearm armor. Meanwhile, Bat Cat was forced to use a knife since he couldn't get enough distance to turn the tides with a little wind power. A knife against a cat with a mace and a dog wielding a 2x4 wasn't all that appealing. "Yeah, animal magnetism comes in handy at times like these, doesn't it?" Bat cat replied, backing away from the cat's mace, only to be faced with the 2x4 the next second. Bringing out his patented all-purpose Samurai Knife and Pizza Cutter, Bat Cat stabbed forward, cutting a large hole in the wood that was thrust at him. The dog backed away, her nerves rattled, and Bat Cat grinned. The opportunity had come. Running past the dog, Bat Cat turned around again, and lowered his hood. The rotors attached to his backpack also lowered into position, and Bat Cat prepared to wield the mighty Rescue Team Tornado. "Tonight, a hurricane! Feel the hurricane." Bat Cat sang as he flipped the switch and the rotors sparked to life, immediately spinning fast enough to generate a powerful gust which blew the cat and the dog back into the other room, where they promptly decided that enough was enough. Bat Cat was about to pat himself on the back, when he remembered what the wolf girl had been carrying. "Huraaaa!!!" the wolf yelled from just behind Bat Cat. Turning around, Bat Cat saw her lifting the broad ax. Bat Cat realized that it was too late. He was a goner. "Too late! I'm a goner!" Bat Cat shouted. All he could do in the split second it would take to bring that thing down was put his hands out in front of his face. "Hu-aaaaahhh!!" the girl screamed suddenly. After feeling nothing for a moment, Bat Cat opened his eyes. The wolf was arched backwards, her hands holding the broad ax, which was now embedded in the ground behind her. Bat Cat laughed nervously. "Hey baby, you shouldn't be carrying around something so heavy!" "Hey, you alright?" Meowzma asked, after having dealt with the mouse. He looked down at the wolf girl, still trying to get up, but without letting go of the ax. "Yeah, I'm fine. Looks like she bit off a bit more than she could chew." Bat Cat commented. "We should help out someone. I'll get Speedy and you take care of the General." Meowzma instructed. Bat Cat nodded. "Right!" he said before zipping off to the other corner of the room.
Left to fend for himself, Spritz went to work against the katana- carrying cat schoolgirl, and the whip-wielding raccoon schoolgirl that were out to get him. "I'm glad I got my tanks refilled before now." Spritz sighed, lifting his left arm to fire a spurt of water toward the cat, but the arm was held back by a whip. Spritz grimaced as the cat girl took a wild swing at him, only to have him dodge. Spritz lifted his right arm and pointed it at the cat girl, but she took another wild swing toward him, and Spritz had to withdraw his arm to keep it from getting chopped off. "That does it. They say I'm a little wet behind the ears, but I'll let you be the judge of that." Spritz said as a large funnel lifted up on a metal pole attached to the back of his helmet. The funnel pointed toward the cat, and a giant burst of water sprayed out, knocking the cat back. She got up again, only to have her high heels slip on the wet floor in front of her and she fell again. Then she decided that enough was enough. "By the way, you mind if I have that?" Spritz asked, spraying a small bit of water up the whip and at the raccoon girl's hand. Then Spritz gave a tug and the whip slid out of the girl's slippery hand. "Thank you, thank you very much." Spritz said, lifting his arm again and spraying the raccoon girl again, this time with enough water to drown an alley cat. Spritz looked at the whip for a moment, then casually tossed it to the ground. "Whips went outta style years ago anyway." He said. Bat Cat was helping Catton, and Meowzma was lending Speedy a hand. Nobody needed his help right now, so Spritz took the opportunity to watch the fights and intervene if anyone got in trouble.
General Catton wasn't doing too well. 3 to 1 odds, and the ram, mink, and fox that he was fighting were all packing heavy artillery. "I can't stand people dodging my firepower, it really irritates me!" General Catton yelled as he fired off another shot in the fox's direction, only to have her jump out of the way. "I can't take anymore! That does it, gimme that!" the general roared, taking the nunchakus right out of the ram's hands. He then proceeded to slap the air around him skillfully with the strange weapon. "It's about time those Ninja Turtle movies paid off!" General Catton proceeded to slap at the hands of the fox, who was trying to chop him up with her scimitars. After having her wrists thoroughly tapped with the sticks of justice, the fox ran away. General Catton, whose focus had been on the fox, didn't notice the dark, mink-shaped shadow behind him. "Hey, that's fighting dirty!" Bat cat shouted from some distance away. General Catton felt a slight breeze and heard a cry as the mink was blown away by Bat Cat's method of air travel. Turning around, General Catton looked at the ground where the mink was. He found several throwing knives, forming a trail leading to a hole in the wall. "They don't call us the Rescue Team for nothin'. Thanks for the help, Bat Cat." General Catton thanked his colleague. However, Bat Cat's attention was drawn to the ram who was crying because General Catton had stolen her nunchakus and used them without even asking. "General, is it just my eyes, or does she look like Lucille?!" Bat Cat asked. "What?" the general asked, spinning around to see the ram's hair AND arms opening up slowly.
Though the magic of fanfiction, we bring the readers back to the point before General Catton's battle in order to share Speedy's experience, which we should have done before, but never got around to doing. Speedy was busy performing a traditional Mexican Cat Dance, in a desperate attempt to dodge Polly's daggers and Francine's arrows at the same time. And it would have worked, had Francine NOT started pulling bombs out of her quiver of arrows. "BOMBS?! Won't that destroy the conference room?" Speedy asked, leaping out of the way of a bomb which proceeded to blow through the wall that he'd been standing by. The property damage would be far more than Francine's checkbook would be willing to give up, but that didn't stop her from throwing at least 2 of the explosives, anyway. What did stop her was having her arms pulled behind her back all of a sudden. "Sorry, big leader, but we have a job to do, and Rescue Team rule #472 says if you have a job to do, do it. Nothing personal." Meowzma apologized, as he proceeded to keep Francine pinned. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Polly and Francine asked at once. Polly moved to knock Meowzma off of Francine, when Speedy came from out of nowhere, blocking her way. The two cats clashed blades again. "Polly, I-" Speedy managed to blurt out before the ominous sound of rocket fire alerted everyone in the room to Lucille's presence. Without knowing what hit them, or fully knowing what hit them, everybody still in the room was thrown backwards, forwards, every way possible by the explosions that ensued. The room became a veritable government nuclear test site, minus the radiation. Everybody awoke from the brief, induced nap feeling dazed, but also feeling decent. "Huh? What's goin' on?" Polly asked. "Hey, business was booming, why am I here?" Francine questioned. "I want to go home, it's so dark and scary in here!" Lucille exclaimed. Could it be that Lucille's explosive personality brought out the best in everyone? Well, maybe not everybody. "You can say that again, my head's killin' me." Speedy muttered dully, rubbing his cranium. "Ugh. same here. At least Polly and the others seem like they've regained their senses." General Catton added. "Maybe we should take them out of here. Oh, I got it. Let's get the girls back to that warehouse we were at." The general ordered. "I'll take Polly and Francine. I only have two arms, so somebody get Lucille for me, will ya?" "I'll get her for ya. I've been wanting something to do since the fighting stopped." Spritz explained. Polly glared at the lot of the Pizza Cats. "Just what d'you mean? Why do we have to go? Francine and I can still fight, can't we Francine?" Polly asked. Speedy began to sweat. "It's okay, Polly. I just thought that you, Francine an Lucille'd be tired after all that, ya know?" Speedy asked. "We just thought you'd want to rest." Polly yawned quite suddenly. "I guess you're right, Speedy. But you don't have to carry us- we're not dead. Come on, Francine, Lucille, let's get going." "Alright, let's go." Lucille agreed. "Then let's get going. Bye, boys." Francine bid the other Pizza Cats goodbye as she, Polly and Lucille walked out of the building. After a small distance from the Palace, Lucille and the two cats parted ways. It was then that Francine noticed that Polly was leading the way toward the Pizza Emporium. "Polly, it's not like you to agree with what those guys have to say. What's up?" Francine asked. Polly grinned. "You know it, Francine. I've had it with being pushed around. We're going back to the Palace, armor-up and in style. What do you say?" Polly asked. Francine thought about it for a minute. "Sounds good. Let's get going, we don't want to keep the guys waiting too long, ya know."
And so it was, Polly and Francine ran as fast as their little kitty paws could take them. Over the pagoda and through the window, to the Pizza Cat's Parlor, they'd go. After a while of good running, the two cats finally made it back to their restaurant. Polly led Francine in, swung the doors open- and was face to face with Guru Lou. With a shriek, Polly jumped backward. "Guru Lou? What the heck are you doing here?" Polly demanded, her eyes turned downward in a mixture of surprise and anger. All Lou did was chuckle. "Well, if it isn't Polly Esther. Oh, and Francine, too! What brings you ladies to this happy corner of the world?" Lou asked, leering at Polly and grinning. Polly brushed past the guru impatiently. "I've got no time to chat, Lou- me and Francine are blasting off, so get to those controls!" Polly ordered, dragging Lou over to the now- infamous back room and throwing him in there. "Use the computer and try to aim carefully. We're headed toward the Palace." Polly instructed Lou, who merely shrugged. "I know how to aim this thing, I had practice with Speedy earlier." Lou explained. With a nod, Polly leapt to the oven station number 3, while Francine went and hopped into the secret compartment in the back room where Guru Lou was. Lou made a note of the hidden compartment for future reference, then turned back to the computer, and got to work. He looked at the view-screen, where the crosshair pointed out where he was aiming, and Lou chuckled to himself. "Ya know, I'm starting to like this gig. This is funnier than launching dynamite at a rival chemical lab." Guru Lou pointed the cannon at the base of the Palace, then spoke into the microphone, "HEY ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE SITTING AT HOME READING STORIES ON THE INTERNET AT TIMES LIKE THIS? ANYWAY, I'M GONNA LAUNCH THESE TWO CATS OFF NOW, SO BEAT IT WHEN YOU HERE THE SOUND OF THE GUN! FIRE 1 AND 2!" Lou exclaimed, as the red and green bullets that Polly and Francine were in were launched from the main cannon (Polly) and the auxiliary cannon atop the main one that Francine herself had constructed. In a fiery blaze the two bullets fell apart, revealing two armored ninja cats who meant business, on a crash course with the Palace! As always, Mama-san and Junior were watching from the ground, sitting on a picnic sheet and slurping ramen. "There goes the next batch of lunatics. Doesn't this town ever get tired of having weirdoes fight its battles?" Mama-san asked. Junior gave a small shrug. "If it's anything like New York, I guess not." "Why's that, junior?" "If New York is the city that never sleeps, it's probably not getting tired anytime soon." Junior noted. "Oh, yeah." Mama-san replied before slurping down some more noodles.
As the two kittens made their way through the air, the Pizza Cats inside the Palace were getting a heavy eyeful of the redecorated rooms. Up the stairs had led to a large, empty room that had disco panels on it- the kind that lit up when somebody stepped on one. "I don't have a good feeling about this room. Let's check it out. Stay here a minute." Bat Cat interjected as Speedy took a step forward. He stepped backward again as Bat cat dug into his backpack and pulled out a light blue marble. He flicked the marble into the room. It bounced and lit up a green, purple, and red panel. It bounced onto a blue panel, which lit up and promptly exploded, leaving a large hole in the floor where it had been. The concussion from the wave knocked Speedy off of his feet. Bat Cat nodded confidently. "I knew Guido'd set up some kinda trap for us. It was too easy getting' in here." He explained. "Okay, guys don't step on the blue ones, got it?" he asked. With a nervous nod from the other cats, Bat Cat stepped forward valorously onto the disco platforms. Looking forward, Bat Cat saw that there were only a few blue panels ahead. If he continued walking in a straight line, all he would have to do is hop over the blue panels. Of course, he could've flown, too, but Bat Cat wasn't sure about that. For all he knew, there could be some kind of anti-air weaponry stocked in the ceiling, like in those old Catman comics he used to read. Bat Cat took another step forward, when suddenly, BOOM! The ground underneath his feet was uplifted with a terrific explosion. That's when Bat Cat noticed that the colors of the panels on the floor shifted from panel to panel when somebody stepped on them. Flung into a wall, Bat Cat slid down and fell in a smoky heap. "Well, that's one way to learn." Bat cat lamented. "Okay guys, we need to watch our feet. I think one cat at a time should walk through." Bat Cat instructed. Speedy looked at the disco panels ahead. Then he looked above at the disco ball that glimmered and lit up the room. "Ya know, I got a better idea." Speedy interjected. "Away with the Ginzu stars!" he shouted, throwing the bladed star at the chain that connected the disco ball to the ceiling. Cutting through cleanly, the Ginzu star landed and got stuck in the wall opposite Speedy. As Speedy predicted, the disco ball dropped onto the floor, promptly landed on a blue panel, which exploded, hurling the disco ball through the ceiling with a terrific crash. "Now for strikes 3 n' 4!" enthusiastically, Speedy leaped into the air, hurling his Ginzu star at the blue panels on the ground. There had to be a limited number of explosives in the disco floorboard- as many as there were blue panels, and Speedy aimed to take them all out. Very soon, the smoke from the tremendous ensuing explosion rose out of the room via the hole in the ceiling, and Speedy and the Rescue Team ran across the presumably safe path. And safe it was for the time being. Meanwhile, Evil Guido had just gotten the shock of his life! "Huh? What the heck was that?! Wait, that's my brand new DISCO BALL!! Darn those cats! They're obviously more resilient than I thought. I'd better go ta greet them soon, or they'll not only have landed on their feet, they'll have landed on my face!" Evil Guido plotted, as he looked at the disco ball that had erupted from several floors down. Evil Guido smirked. He'd obviously underestimated those third-rate alley cats. But he wouldn't underestimate them again, he was sure of it. "Well, back to the drawing board. Time to come up with plan B. In the meantime." Guido spoke to himself, as he pressed a blue button next to him. With a gentle hum, the interior of several rooms within the Palace blared to life. "That'll keep em on their toes for a while."
Several floors down, Speedy and the Rescue Team members were walking down a long, wooden hall. "Is it just me, or are these long wooden halls always showing up somewhere?" Speedy asked aloud to nobody in particular, when suddenly many holes opened in the wood. Through the holes charged thick black spears with glinting points, aimed at the noble heroes! Ducking, Speedy let out a sigh of relief when he realized that this crude measure of safeguarding was only Palace defenses. Little did he know that holes were also opening in the ceiling. With a rusty clank, Speedy heard gears spring to life as spears rushed down from the ceiling, aided by gravity and the gears which forced the spikes down like clockwork. Luckily all of the deadly javelins were lined up in the center of the hallway, allowing Speedy and the others to easily sidle up by the walls and inch sideways to the end of the hallway. Nobody was too shaken by the event, except perhaps General Catton, whose belt had been sliced by on of the spikes after he'd dodged to the wall of the hallway. "Ah, shucks, and that was my good belt, too! Now ya got me steamed!" General Catton roared. With that the general side-walked against the wall quickly and furiously, sometimes breaking one of the poles that had suspended the spikes on the tips as he brushed past.
Finally, they'd gotten out of the seemingly endless hallway of pole spikes, but nobody could shake the feeling that the spikes weren't the only means of Palace defense. Speedy continued leading the pack through another hallway, the same as the last, only now at a slight tilt- the Palace's substitute for stairs. Speedy took a few steps forward, and immediately leapt to the right. There'd been a collapse in the floor underneath his foot, and looking at his left now, he saw a large square hole set into the floor. From a few floors below, Speedy could hear a sharp crack of marble hitting the first-floor floor from the third floor. "Falling panels in the ground. Oh, THAT'S original." Speedy sighed. He and the Rescue Team continued their trek up the hallway, jumping away from the panels at the last second when necessary. These traps were routine and overused, but would have been effective if the Pizza Cats hadn't been trained as samurai. This hallway continued for a while, like the last one. Eventually they turned the corner to face another slanted hallway. Searching the hallway at first glance, there didn't appear to be any traps. Relaxing a little, Spritz led the way nonchalantly, followed closely by Bat Cat. But then, the two leaders spotted movement in the shadows up ahead. "Do you see it too, or have I been watching too many kung-fu movies, Bat Cat?" Spritz asked. Bat Cat was about to answer, but he was quite suddenly cut short by a dagger erupting from the wall to their side. "AIIEEEE!!" the two cats screamed, as a cat in a full-body, slinky black ninja costume ripped through the wall with two daggers. "Where d'you think you're goin', hun? Master Guido doesn't want you getting through, and I don't plan on letting you waltz in! Cut the dancing and fight!" the cat shouted, as she leapt from her hole in the wall and flew through the air toward the two super heroes. Acting on pure instinct, Spritz leapt out of the way while Bat Cat ran back down the hall wailing. This would have accomplished nothing if not for what happened next- the cat was still hanging in mid-air, when the wall opposite her crashed inward, and a red missile collided head-on with the cat, sending her crashing back against the wall, and resulting in her being knocked out cold. The red missile landed on the ground harmlessly, revealing the colored comet to be none other than Polly Esther!
"Polly? Now that's too convenient for comfort." Spritz remarked. As always, this remark seemed to cue some reaction within reality, as another ninja, a cute rabbit ninja dropped from the ceiling, broad sword in hand. The rabbit thrust the large and powerful sword toward Polly! Luckily, through the magic of fanfiction, Polly was saved at the very last moment as Francine flew through the hole Polly had made on the Palace wall. Francine crashed into the ninja rabbit, slowing her down effectively in the air, and sending the rabbit crashing into the wall, also falling unconscious. "Francine, too?" Bat Cat inquired. "Of course it's us, dummy! Did you really think that we were gonna sit around and let you take care of this? First of all, it's gonna take all of us to beat Guido. Secondly, I want to get back at him personally for this disgrace, right Francine?" "Right, Polly. We're women on the move, so don't get in the way! Got it guys?" Francine asked, agreeing with Polly as they both moved to join the group. Speedy and the others were pleasantly surprised to see the two cats returning. "Hey, Polly and Francine, I didn't expect you guys to come back." Speedy commented. "Of course we came back. We wouldn't leave you big strong men to handle Guido all by yourselves." Polly retorted. Before Speedy could reply, General Catton pointed in the shadows presented by the hallway ahead. "Don't go starting a fight now, fellas. There's movement up ahead. Let's get to it, cats!" Catton ordered. With that, the Rescue Team, Speedy, Polly and Francine moved up the hallway. The team had been assembled at long last, and they were prepared to face any challenge, any thread of danger and disaster that lurked in their path. Ahead in the hallway of impending doom, trouble loomed. It was another batch of Guido's girl squad! Several members of the official Guido ninja clan, fully trained in the arts of combat and badminton, these girls were bad to the bone, and determined to keep Speedy and the others from reaching Guido. "Well, if it isn't more babes to bust. This is getting repetitive." Speedy remarked, receiving a slap upside the head from Polly. "Come on, Speedy concentrate, we have a job to do." She reminded him. Speedy rubbed his head and looked around. There were about 7 ninja positioned around the hallway in different areas, such as one hanging to the ceiling, one clinging to a wall, several biding their time while sitting on the floor, one just barely visible underneath the floor, and another ninja clinging to another wall. "Let's get em!" Polly shouted, as the Pizza Cats rushed forward to do combat. The ninja followed the movements of the cats and began charging forward as well.
"Get em, girls! Split them up and get in close so they can't use their powers. You remember what happened to the last group!" the leader of the ninja girls called out, as she led the pack toward the Pizza Cat group. In a second, the two groups merged into a single warring pack. Each Pizza Cat, rather conveniently at that, was having a one on one duel with a ninja, and the sides were pretty even. Each was armed with a type of sword, making the combat all the more equalized for both sides. Speedy was face to face with Ruby, though he'd never seen her personally and didn't recognize her, who had a huge pair of glasses taped to her head, which made fighting a tad awkward. But Ruby's weapon, a claymore, was equally awkward, and the imbalance in skill and balance made Ruby's swings as unpredictable as what Albert Einstein would say in a barbershop. Speedy dodged this way and that, trying to evade the deadly swings. The weight of the sword wasn't easy to block if Speedy used his own sword, and Ruby wasn't giving him a chance to go on the offensive. However, at times likes this Speedy always remembers that the best defense is a good offense, so Speedy waited until after Ruby's next blade stroke, dodged, then leapt forward and executed an overhead swing, causing ruby to back away. Ruby's sword came down, then she used the momentum and turned the blade up to strike at Speedy, but of course the Magical Ginzu Sword was light as a feather. Speedy twisted his sword's path around, blocking the upward claymore strike, then he continued going on the offensive, taking swings by Ruby's head to shake her a bit, and forcing her to back away. Speedy knew that his offensive wasn't going to hold her back forever, so as Ruby came back again with a fierce strike that came a smidgen too close to Speedy's whiskers, effectively unnerving the brave fighter, he readied a special treat that he'd been saving. Suddenly, he leaped backward into the air and threw something at Ruby, who lifted her claymore to deflect the projectile. A second later the big sword came apart at the seams as the entire blade fell off of the hilt. "That was the super-special stale pizza slicing star, copyright the Samurai Pizza Cats, 2002!" Speedy announced. Ruby looked at the hilt in her hands with her glasses for a moment. "Good shot, I'm getting out of here!" Ruby shouted as she retreated back up the hallway, disappearing into the shadows once more.
Speedy gave a small victory cheer in mid-air before promptly landing on somebody's head. "Alright, I did it! Ya-ha-ha!" Speedy cheered, patting himself on the back. "Hey, who's up there? I just had my hair stylized too, and your dirty feet are messing it all up!" the girl yelled. Speedy had just landed on the head of the ninja leader! Of course, at this point she had been engaged in combat with Polly, but that wasn't going to last much longer, as Polly moved in for the finishing blow while she was suddenly distracted. With a slash through the air, Polly's blade crossed the face of the ninja leader. Polly had intended to go for a cut, but the sudden movement hadn't been anticipated, and so Polly's sword had come so close to cutting the cat's face that there was a line of skin that could be seen. "My makeup, too! I spent an entire day polishing this perfect face up and you and your sword have ruined everything. I'm such a mess and it makes me so fired-up!" The woman shouted, as she began to glow red. That was when Speedy and Polly simultaneously realized that the leader, a cat with an oddly round head, has a long, thin ponytail that matched her sky-blue hair. But this was no ordinary ponytail, as it lit up in sections, almost like a fuse that had been lit. The light began at the back of the ponytail, and slowly crept up along the shaft of the hair-tube. "Polly, what's goin' on?!" Speedy asked. "I don't know but I get the feeling that if we stick around, we're toast!" Polly yelled in response. Backing away, they both watched as the leader's hair light slowly crept until it finally reached the back of her head. Then nothing happened. "What?! I thought for sure there was going to be some kinda unearthly explosion!" Speedy shouted. "Hey, if you guys aren't too busy we could use some help over here!" shouted Spritz, who was currently fighting a tiger who appeared to be a master at using a very, very sharp fencing foil. Speedy called to Spritz that he'd be there in a second, when Polly tugged at his arm. "Speedy, I think you'd better look at this." Polly whispered. Speedy turned around again, to find a thick black shell forming around the blue- haired cat. A black sphere formed by the black-shell material covered the cat entirely, began to glow red, and then THAT exploded. A horrendous hurricane of heat tossed everybody in every direction possible. Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, it was the ninja girls who ended up being tossed through the windows. Luckily ninja and cats share the ability to always land on their feet, so nobody was harmed in the making of this explosion. Speedy collapsed in a heap underneath a small bit of rubble. The entire hallway was thrashed now- rubble from the ceiling, holes in the floor, walls knocked out, windows ceasing to exist, the whole works. Worse yet, if Speedy knew Big Al Dente as well as he thought he did, this was all coming out of their paychecks for the next 3 years. "Oh, man, this is a disaster!" Speedy exclaimed.
"You said it. We have to catch up to Guido before anything else can go wrong. Come on, move it!" Polly yelled. She was already back on her feet, along with the Rescue Team. Francine and Speedy hadn't yet gotten up and Polly was worried and impatient at the same time. At this point, Francine was just poking her head through a large pile of ceiling material. "Wow! That's the first major explosion I've ever been in! What a thrill! I don't believe that you guys do this all the time." Francine exclaimed, genuinely perplexed. "Yeah, it's a real smash alright." Speedy spoke flatly, hardly able to believe that Francine thought this was fun. "Anyway Fran, let's get going or Polly'll get mad at us." Nodding, Francine dug herself out of the debris, and Speedy was on his feet at about the same time. Since Polly and the others had gone ahead already, Speedy and Francine had to turn on their Samurai Hover Shoes to catch up to the group. "Took you slowpokes long enough, are ya ready?" Bat Cat asked as Speedy and Francine joined him in the back of the group. Speedy gave a nod, and Francine was too busy to notice with her mind set on calculating how much money it'd take to clear up all of this property damage.
There were no more traps around as the group continued on foot, turning another corner, and going up another long, slanted hallway. After a few minutes of good running, Francine bumped into Speedy, who'd been bumped by Bat Cat, who'd been bumped by Spritz, who'd been bumped by Meowzma, who'd been bumped by General Catton, who'd been bumped by Polly when she suddenly stopped running. "Hey guys! Look, it's Guido! He's up at the top of the hallway." Polly spoke, pointing up a bit. Everyone, having fallen down, let out a groan. "Next time could you warn us before doing that, Ma'am?" General Catton asked. "I'm sorry, but I thought it was important. C'mon guys, get up! Guido's just ahead!" Polly exclaimed. Everybody got up, and they all began running toward the top of the hallway. After another moment or so, they had all made it to the top, where the ground was leveled out. Evil Guido waited in front of them, tapping his foot impatiently. "It took you guys long enough to get here. Whatsa matter, were my traps too good for you guys?" he asked smugly. "Don't be so cocky, big shot!" Meowzma yelled from behind General Catton and Polly. "Yeah, those traps were about as tough as toothpaste." Bat Cat interjected. "It's arrogant villains like you that make this place interesting, but really!" Spritz added in. "Hey, don't forget about us back here! We're back in action!" Speedy shouted. "Me, too!" Francine piped up. "They're right, you know. We're all here to kick your butt." General Catton spoke. "It's pay back time for everything you've put us through in the last 2 days, Guido!" Polly interjected. Everybody posed simultaneously. "The Pizza Cats are back!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you idiots don't know when to quit. I've heard it all before. Don't you know that when you play with fire, you get burnt? It's always the same, even when you're in a group. This time you're all working together and blah-dee-blah. If I beat you, it'll mean that nothing can stop me! Nothing will be able to stop the unstoppable Guido. I'll be the baddest cat ever, the coolest dude around. Heh." Guido chuckled to himself. "So. what do we do now? You guys have ticked me off sooo much since you started layin' siege to my castle. You ruined my warrior harem, you destroyed my beautiful building, and you made my precious ninja warriors look like fools. I should rub you all outta the picture right now! But that's not sportsman-like, or fun. So I'll give you all a chance, how's that sound? I'll even throw in a bonus opportunity for you to take advantage of. Follow me to the top, where my mind-control machine is. if a group of circus clowns like you can, that is. See ya there!" Guido invited, as he hovered into the air, then flew up the staircase, quick as a flash. However, in a second or two following, a giant boulder appears where Guido had stood. It filled up the entire whole of the hallway, and loomed like a giant tower of doom over the heroic cats. "Holy cow, if that thing gets rolling, we're. Huh?" Speedy asked. While he'd been blabbing, the boulder had begun to roll, but the other Pizza Cats were nowhere in sight. "Wait, where'd everyone go? C'mon, can't we negotiate?" Speedy asked the boulder. The boulder, in response, began to roll faster before cracking and crumbling into pebbles, General Catton standing right behind where the boulder had been, his cannons in the firing position. "It's a shame he doesn't catch on more quickly, huh?" General Catton asked. Polly shook her head. "Huh? What?" Speedy asked, before Polly walked over and began dragging him toward the staircase that was in the back of the room at the top of the slanted hallway, where everyone else was going. "It's okay, Speedy, don't try to strain a brain cell over it." Polly sighed. The two began climbing the staircase side by side. "So Speedy, do you really think we can beat Guido this time around?" Polly asked. Speedy nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure of it. He's good at close range fighting with a few people, but if we're all fighting him at once, he can't try to pick us off one at a time without somebody else getting him from behind. We have the advantage this time. Now stop worrying Polly. You're the one who said you wanted revenge, anyway." Speedy said. Polly nodded. "Alright, Let's go."
With that, the Pizza Cats were off like a shot, running up the staircase, dodging bombs that were being dropped from the ceiling, and coming up to the next floor. The next floor of the Palace featured a large number of rooms, only one of which contained a ladder which led to the rooftop. Going from room to room and having to avoid random explosions, leftover ninja and bad birdseed planted along the way, the cats knew that Guido was stalling for time in hopes of something. What he was planning was anybody's guess. The cats continued their trek until finally they reached the ladder. only to find it on fire. So, they summoned Spritz to put out the fire. After turning on the water works, Spritz cleared the fire, and the group was on their way up. None of them had seen the rooftop of the Palace before, but realized that this promised to be quite an epic battle. Reaching the top, everyone was surprised to find that the roof of the Palace was completely flat. Behind the gigantic version of the golden crest of the royal family, the top of the building began slanting on all sides, then leveled out. This was a big relief to everyone because balancing on rooftops that were slanted and trying to fight at the same time was hard work, and after all they'd done today, they were all a tad worn. But as expected, there stood Guido, right in front of them and clapping his hands. He was sitting on a cushion of thin air. "Congratulations, you guys! You passed through my final traps and made it out in one piece. I'm impressed now. I thought for sure you guys wouldn't make it after what I'd already put you through." Guido said, his voice sounding genuinely pleased. Looking around, Francine noticed that in each corner of the leveled section of roof there was a large brick block. "Hey, what are those?" Francine asked, looking around. Guido smirked. "I'm glad you asked, Fran. You see, I am giving you an advantage because my machine is here. However, it is in one of the 4 hollow brick coverings you see here. If you manage to get past me, you'll have the opportunity to destroy it. if you can guess which brick covering it's in. Guess wrong and I'll have to beat you up for it, heh." Guido explained. "So are you all about ready to get it on?" he asked. Once glance at the entire crew was all the answer he needed. "Then let's begin."
For a moment, Guido stayed glued to the spot. He let his feet fall to the floor, and he stood, looking at the team. With a wave of the hand, Guido motioned for the Pizza Cats to make the first move. With a slight nod from the leader, Francine, the rest of the Rescue Team immediately set to work. Bat Cat and Meowzma paired up, as did General Catton and Spritz T. Cat, each combining their backpacks to form two separate and goofy-looking weapons. But Guido wasn't fooled- these were two very powerful weapons sometimes used by the Rescue Team. "Stand by for the Singin' Robot-Wrecking Rotor!" Bat Cat called out, manning the guns of his and Meowzma's creation. "Fire!" he called out. From the weapon came a long, spiraling tunnel of an anonymous gray matter. Guido easily dodged the slow-moving substance, but was caught off-guard a tad when he suddenly came face to face with a mess of energy blasts fired from Spritz and general Catton's combined weapon without warning. A large field of them came out of nowhere, surrounding him in seconds. Guido found an opening and rushed for it through the air. "Hey, where're you goin', Guido?" Speedy asked, leaping into the air. "We ain't letting you go that easily!" he said, slashing at Guido's armor with his sword. Guido was able to dodge the sword slash easily enough, but then came Polly's daggers, which he was nicked by slightly, and then came Francine's gravity net, dragging him to the ground like a plate of one-ton anchovies. "So, Guido, ready to give up yet? The Samurai Pizza Cats always triumph when we work together!" Speedy exclaimed. Guido grimaced at how easily he'd been lulled into underestimating them again. This angered him a great deal. Gritting his teeth, Guido calmly stated, "Ah, no you don't. I ain't giving up that easy." Guido said. That stupid gravity net was murder on his back right now. "Alright, if you say so. Time ta say goodnight! Ya!" Speedy said. As he was saying this, he was going through his ever-familiar killing blow. Drawing his sword, Speedy was surrounded by the swirling pink energy once more. The pink energy delved into his sword as he drew it from the red sheath. From the sword came two swords, one in each hand, which Speedy used to make an x, crossing the swords before separating them and forming a circle around himself. Within it, the cat's eye shape appeared once more, and Speedy brought the swords down forward. The energy slash flew through the air, flying right over Guido and slicing through the brick building in the upper left-hand corner of the roof. The bricks exploded, sending harmless debris over the side of the palace, but underneath the brick there was nothing.
"Rats!" Speedy snapped his fingers. "Hey, guys, I hate to interrupt, but I'm not through, yet!" Guido interjected. Quite suddenly, the area where the ladder was uplifted with a terrific explosion, as the powerful, improved Sunspot Umbrella flew through the air and toward Guido's net. Once there, the edge of the umbrella cut the gravity threads harmlessly, lifted the net up, and Guido escaped. "I guess I should mention that this umbrella of mine's the secret to my success. With it, I can easily pummel you folks. I could without it, of course, but I'd rather save myself the energy." Guido inserted, grinning with the umbrella flashing its brilliant shade of gold light in everybody's eyes. Shading their eyes, the Pizza Cats stood dumbfounded for a moment. Guido took the opportunity to send some energy their way. A large wave of gold energy swept along the ground, aimed dead center for Speedy and the others. Speedy stood, swords at his sides for a moment. Polly had to knock him out of the way before making a big leap herself. "Speedy, stay focused you moron!" Polly yelled. Speedy had snapped out of it for a second there, but now wasn't the time. "Huh?" Speedy asked. He just realized what had happened, and gave himself a mental slap for it. Francine had gotten out of the way in time. Spritz and Bat Cat had made it out of the way well enough- they'd still been carrying those ridiculous weapons around, though. General Catton had gotten blown back, and Meowzma had gone back after dodging to see if he was all right. Catton was okay, but the blow had taken it out of him. "The General here might need a bit of rest! Bat Cat, please cover him." Meowzma asked. Bat Cat nodded, returning Meowzma's backpack to him. "Don't worry, I got things under control here!" Bat Cat reassured his friend. Meowzma nodded and returned to the action. Seeing Catton down, Guido decided to give Bat Cat a bit of trouble with another energy wave. "I said I have things covered here, what are ya deaf?" Bat cat asked. He activated his rotor backpack, activating a high-power tornado. The tornado combined with the energy blast, causing a fiery tornado that was launched toward poor Guido. Speedy took this opportunity to fire and Ginzu Sword assault on another brick building. Polly took care of another one in order to make the operation less tedious, and to take immediate advantage of their time.
The two buildings they had destroyed had both been duds. Guido, now being assaulted by his own energy, was knocked out of the air for a moment. He hadn't expected his own attack to be turned on him by mere wind. Also, Polly and Speedy were about to destroy his precious machine. With another wave of his hand, Guido summoned up some more brick buildings to replace the ones that had been destroyed, then as Speedy launched his attack at the last of the first brick buildings, he teleported the machine to another of the brick buildings. The last brick building appeared to be a dud too, but then Speedy noticed the renewed brick buildings. "Hahaha. Have you figured it out yet, Speedy? Since I made the machine, I can control its movement, and I can teleport it short distances, and that includes into another of my brick buildings I just made." Guido gloated. Speedy grimaced. This was going to take forever. Meanwhile, Polly was attempting to destroy another of the brick buildings. This time, the top of blown off of the building, and inside she could see a strange metal that looked like a weird computer. But the object suddenly vanished, and the top part of that brick building was replaced. Polly had just listened to what Guido had said, too, and wasn't happy about it. "You mean that even if we do find it, you can just send it wherever you want? That's not playing fair!" Polly yelled. Guido shrugged, batting back a burst of water that Spritz had shot at him with his umbrella. "I thought you were playin' by my rules, Polly babe." Guido shot back. Polly's face grew red and her eyebrows turned downward. "Never call me BABE!!" Polly yelled. Drawing her ninja swords, Polly created a heart shape around herself, cutting the shape in the middle and flinging the energy heart toward Guido. As it flew up, Guido knew this routine. He flew off to the side of the heart, letting it explode in the middle as usual. What he didn't expect was for Polly's dagger to come flying at him again so quickly after the energy attack. Guido dodged this way and that, getting scratched by the daggers from time to time. They hurt and it ticked him off ROYALLY. "Well, BABE, get a load of this!" Guido shouted furiously, coming at Polly at a blinding speed. Polly caught on to the act, remembering from the last battle, and stepped out of the way. As Guido came toward the ground, Francine caught Guido in another gravity net. Pulled to the ground, an enraged Guido promptly ripped the net to shreds again with the power of his umbrella. Then he hurled another energy wave toward Polly. "Hey, didn't your mother ever tell you to act nice in the presence of a lady?" Spritz asked, coming up from behind Polly and firing off a large volley of water, which evaporated before the tremendous heat energy, but kept the blast at bay in the process.
The General was managing to get up again. "Hey, Bat Cat. Didja catch the license plate on that brand new car?" Catton asked, getting to his feet. "Right! Rescue Team, let's get em!" he shouted vigorously, running toward the fight site. Guido now hovered in the air. He was about to make another dash for Polly, when a large fireball from Catton's cannons, and an energy slash from Speedy reminded him that there were other fish to fry, too. This whole fight-the-group thing wasn't going like he'd planned. Guido was growing frustrated- he couldn't pick off more than one at a time, and even in cases like with General Catton, they got back up again a few minutes later. If only he had some kind of move that could take them all out at once. "Brilliant! If I could get them all in one place." Guido thought aloud. He had an idea. "Alright, listen up! I, the great Guido, have got it! You guys are finished!" he triumphantly stated. Guido fired an energy shot at Speedy and Polly, who leapt to the sides to avoid the shot. He did this with Bat Cat and Meowzma, too. He shot fireballs all along the edge of the rooftop, while avoiding the brick buildings, attempting to drive the cats into one spot, and like clockwork it had worked. Firing in certain areas, keeping the Pizza Cats backed into eachother, and firing energy in tighter and tighter volleys to keep the cats caged in, it had been truly brilliant. "Here we go!" Guido shouted. Suddenly, the brick buildings all began to collapse- the bricks and mortar simply came apart, and fell to the ground. The machine was visible now, an easy target, but that didn't really matter now. What mattered was what Guido would do next. Speedy spotted the machine at long last, and was about to fire off another energy slash to finish off the mechanism, but Guido fired off another ki blast at Speedy's feet to remind him of the situation he was in. The debris from the brick buildings falling apart began slowly to rise into the air. It was a stretch, controlling this much at once, but Guido could handle it. Then, with a shocking motion and speed, the debris from the four corners started to descend on the trapped Pizza Cats. There was only one thing they could, and would do, and Guido knew it. Once they leapt into the air, that was when Guido would be ready with fireballs for all. Toasted Pizza Cats, extra cheese and hold the olives, please! "Bwahahahaha!" Guido guffawed, barking at his own wit as he prepared a fireball. The first bits of debris reached the cats, and that was when they all jumped simultaneously, with no power in the air whatsoever! "Here you g-waaaahhh!" Guido shouted suddenly. Something had hit him from behind, and he wanted to know what it was. Whatever the thing was, it was clinging to Guido's back and climbing onto his head. The weight there was unbalancing, even for Guido. In front of Guido's eyes appeared the face of somebody he'd never expected to see again. "Howdy there, Guido. I see you're having some trouble with the Pizza Cats, eh?" Guru Lou asked, from atop Guido's head. "Guru Lou?! How the heck did you get here?" Guido asked incredulously. "Well, I saw things were getting kinda hairy up here, so I figured out Francine's nifty auto-launch pod thingy and I decided to invite myself over." Guru Lou explained. "Oh, and you better do something before Speedy destroys your gizmo there, you know." Lou reminded him. In a panic, Guido turned around to see Speedy preparing one final energy blast. Then this would all be over.
The swords in his hands, Speedy concentrated his energy into his swords, bringing them from position x to the circle position. "You're really askin' for it, pal!" Speedy yelled, bringing his swords down once more, launching the power of the Magical Ginzu Sword toward the machine. Before Guido get down there to stop the energy from destroying the machine, before he could remember that he could just teleport the darned thing out of reach because of sheer panic, Guido watched at the yellow line set into the middle of the large, squarish machine. The two halves of the device fell apart, and then the two halves exploded in a mass of nuts and bolts. "NOOOOO!!!" Guido yelled. In a complete rage, he threw down a giant energy beam at the rooftop of the palace. "Well, I'd like to stay, but I'd best be going. Too-d'-loo." Lou said, waving goodbye as he hopped off of the villain's shoulder. "Lucky me I've been designing home-made parachutes, huh?" Lou asked, pulling open a parachute. Suddenly, a hole tore into the fabric. Then two. Then 4. The entire parachute became unstable, and Guru Lou was forced to feel the brunt of impact as he landed in the water by the bridge. Luckily for the Pizza Cats, they had all decided that destroying the machine was a hard day's work come to a close, and they had all learned that a giant fireball means you've worn out your welcome, so they all hopped down the sides of the Palace, escaping effectively. The rest for that day, as the sun began to set upon little Tokyo, is history.
The Pizza Cats were having fun celebrating their victory at the Pizza Parlor, along with Guru Lou, and the beautiful women of Little Tokyo had all been free. It was a happy night in the city. However, there was one dude who was feeling blue, as he rested his head on his arm, looking through the window of his grand bedroom in the Palace that he'd been forced to repair by himself that lonely night. "That. I don't believe it. They beat me somehow. They got lucky like they always do. I'll get those cats for this insult if it's the last thing I do. They haven't heard the last of me." Guido said, a sad tone in his voice. "Ugh. it's cold. and lonely in here. This is all their fault. If they hadn't come in to crash my party, I wouldn't be sitting here sulking and feeling miserable, those darned alley pizza cats." Guido angrily sighed, vowing his revenge for the next day.
((Thus this chapter ends, and boy did it take long enough, too. What will become of Evil Guido? What do the good guys intend to do about it? And what ARE the Big Cheese and his minions doing underneath the city right now? Find out next time on Pizza Cat Chronicles!! ))
