Consequences

Disclaimer – I own nothing but the ideas.

Before I continue with this story I would like to thank everyone who has supported with this, especially those who have reviewed. That being said I would just like to remind readers that this is a JJ/Emily story. I know that I have taken the scenic route with this story, hopefully you will see why by the end of this chapter. For those who are waiting more of the Reid part of the storyline, I hope you are not disappointed, if you are then I am sorry.

This is set a few months after the hospital scene of the last chapter.

. . . .

Entering slowly in the consuming darkness of the apartment JJ flicking a switch she made her way along the hall to the lounge. Stopping in the doorway, the light from behind her allowing her to see the scene in front of her, JJ watched as her friend seemed oblivious to her arrival.

"You okay?" she asked softly, watching the older woman who had been sat alone in the pitch black lounge.

Emily shrugged, not moving from the spot she was rooted to on the couch, her eyes staring at nothing in particular.

JJ guessed Emily had somehow heard the news that she had come to share; she guessed Garcia had been the one to share. Slipping off her shoes she padded quietly to sit beside Emily on the soft leather couch.

"I take it you have heard?" she asked, taking her friends hand in hers.

Emily nodded, showing no other reaction to the support of the young agent.

"It was to be expected," JJ spoke without a hint of emotion.

Emily turned sharply to face JJ, the depth of her sadness evident in her dark eyes, the strain of the events of the past year showing on her face.

"But it's not fair," Emily spat, "Spencer has lost his job because of me."

JJ shook her head, not wanting Em to blame herself for the ordeal;

"No he lost it because he used illegal drugs."

"Because of me!" she repeated with venom.

JJ had heard this argument so many times since Emily had returned. The woman was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, JJ honestly expected her to admit to causing poverty and famine soon. JJ wanted to share the burden, but wasn't being let in, so instead she shouldered her own blame.

"Spencer made a choice, the wrong choice; you didn't do this to him. He knew he could have spoken to any of us rather than do this."

"You don't believe that anymore than I do JJ," Em stated flatly.

Once a profiler, always a profiler JJ thought as she sat under the scrutiny of her ex-colleague. JJ did feel personally responsible for how lost Spencer had ended up feeling. She knew he had taken her deceit to heart, and who could blame him. All the times he had turned to her and she had been forced to lie to him as he cried, unable to relieve him of the grief that weighed him down, only to have the truth revealed so bluntly.

"Emily, on the flight out to find you and bring you home I had a lot of time on my own to think about the consequences of our actions," JJ began squeezing the hand of her friend, "We had no way of knowing what they would be, but together . . ."

"I knew I shouldn't have come back, I told you so," Emily interrupted, "I'll make arrangements to leave in the morning."

"Nonsense, everyone deserved to know the truth, what they did with that information was their choice. I had had enough of lying Em. I couldn't keep that up forever."

Emily's head dropped as she realised the full extent of the strain she had caused her friend, noticing for the first time the tiredness in JJ's features.

"JJ I'm sorry, since Reid was taken into hospital I have forgotten about you. I have taken you for granted."

JJ shrugged at her, having become use to supporting Emily in her reintegration, she too had adjusted to ignoring her own needs. Yet now, in the gloom of the dark lounge JJ felt the tears form. From the day she had shared with Emily the news that she was going into hiding, all through the funeral, the weeks of supporting her friends and family, right to this very moment JJ had bottled it all up. She could not contain it all any longer.

Emily hugged her friend tightly, wanting to take away the pain she had created. Seven months of solitude had taken its toll on her, but she had never imagined the solitude JJ had endured while being tortured by the constant reminder of her lies to her friends. Being with the team would have been as hard to JJ as being without them was for Emily.

Pulling back JJ looked up at Emily, "I'm sorry, you don't need this right now."

"Jay, you have already done more than I can ask for. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you."

Through her water laden eyes JJ tried to focus.

"With each month that passed I dreaded getting closer to the anniversary of your 'death', I knew I couldn't have faced it – not even with Hotch's support. I need you Emily, Spencer hates me, Morgan's still pissed at me and Hotch, Will has a constant look of distaste when he sees me."

"I'm here JJ, we can get through this together, I'm not going anywhere, I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this for me. I have made my mistakes, but you were only doing as you had been instructed, this is so unfair."

"Em, stop being sorry. You didn't choose to leave; it was forced on all of us. However we need to move on or it will consume us all. We have already seen the damage it has done to Spencer."

The two women sat in silence. Staring into the darkness that surrounded them, words no longer able to convey the emotional turmoil they were caught in. There was no clear path in front of them, no easy way out. As they individually contemplated how they were to deal with the situation, they drew strength purely from the presence of the other person. A strength that they knew would see them through the future and hopefully to forgiveness.

. . .

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Author Unknown

This is the end for this particular story. I am not sure I should have been talked into this sequel and sometimes think I should have left it at the end of 'Reflections' but It hought it was worth a try.Thank you for the support.