Previously:

Then she had to go and give up.

Edward whipped his head around and stared at me.

"What did you say?" his voice cracked out.

Shiiiit! I groaned internally.

JPOV:

Okay I had a perfectly good lie that would fit in here, now I just had to keep my thoughts to myself… like that was going to happen.

"Well." I started, thinking about anything but the truth.

"When Bella found out that you had no idea what was happening to her, she started to give up. She was all melancholy and sad."

He wasn't really buying this but I was going to stick to it.

"But then I told her about how we were going to wait until she was all human again and then turn her for a second time, she started to look up. She was happier."

It wasn't perfect but it was good enough.

Edward raised his eyebrow at me but turned and held on to his wife's hand.

"Come on Bella, baby, come back to me." He begged.

Carlisle was rhythmically pressing on the bag that was keeping her breathing. [Yeah I know that wasn't in the last chapter, but then I realized that without this, the story wouldn't fit, so just imagine that Bella was intubated and Carlisle is basically breathing for her…]

I looked down at the women that had completely changed my existence. She had taught me love and humility. She had given me back my sanity and she had led me to believe that I was actually good for people. She was the best thing to ever happen to me and I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving.

I looked up at everyone, my eyes resting on my daughter.

I couldn't handle this.

I needed a moment.

I got up and ran as fast as vampirically possible. Away from all of this to a place that would help me.

I sank into the middle of the meadow, and lay down, reminiscing about all the times Bella and I had spent here. The memories we had shared.

I thought of every time I had made her smile, every time we had made love. The day I had made her like me, sealing our bond, the same day that Renesmee was born.

This wasn't something I could decide, I couldn't make this choice.

I didn't have it in me.

I got up and walked agonizingly slowly towards my home.

It wasn't the house I was walking to, but my Bella.

The one person that could make everything right. The only person I had ever met that could see right through me and call me up on my bullshit. How was my life supposed to go on without her?

How would I survive if she didn't?

The rational side of my brain was telling me that I still had Renesmee.

I still had the eyes that made me fall in love with Bella in the first place.

I still would have part of her with me always.

But some sick little part of my brain told me that it would never be enough. That Renesmee would never be able to take Bella's place.

That little voice also pushed towards me that I would probably come to resent Nessie for reminding me so much of her mother.

I stopped dead still and mentally slapped myself for any kind of thought like that for even materializing in my brain.

My resolve hardened and I moved back towards the house slightly faster.

As I walked in the house I looked up at the family and they all saw my decision.

My gaze flicked down to Renesmee and I knew she saw what was hidden in my eyes.

"NOO!" she shouted at me.

"I won't let you take her from me!"

Those eight words shattered me into so many little pieces that I knew I would never be the same ever again.

Hello all.
Now I know you all hate me for the direction that this story is going and believe me sometimes I hate me too but this was the way the story took me and it almost wrote itself. I am contemplating writing a different ending when this is over, coincidently, the
original ending but we shall see.
I know this chapter is abominably short and unfortunately the next one will be also. However the one after that should be a biggin' soo…
Please, could you find it in your heart to review? Please? Even if it is to shoot me down in flames. It makes me feel so gooey inside when my inbox tells me I have a message. :D
.Ronan xxo