Chapter 7

When Kid returned from his ride with Paul and Buck, Lou was in the living room but once their eyes met, the tears appeared in hers and she dashed upstairs, unable to keep calm while in the same room as he was. Kid didn't try to follow her. He guessed that she needed time to sort out whatever she was fighting right now. This didn't leave him indifferent; he was upset and the notion that she hadn't even crossed a word with him nagged him more than he was ready to admit.

Louise didn't show up for the rest of the day and Kid remained with the children. It was near dinner time when Kid decided that they needed to talk, whether she liked it or not. As he climbed the stairs to the bedroom, he kept musing over the strange situation they were immersed in. He didn't doubt his love for his wife. She meant everything to him, but her reaction yesterday was making him ask himself if he really knew who Lou was. All this strange behavior had been sparked just when they had got married, and Kid feared that their recent marriage was the reason behind her odd attitude.

Was she regretting becoming his wife? That was exactly what had happened years ago… she had regretted accepting his marriage proposal and she had abandoned him. As the thought struck him, Kid realized that his soul was darkened by the shadow of doubts. He actually feared that she might want to do the same again, leave him high and dry. Lou always said that she loved him, but what was it that made her so miserable? Was she really in love with him? They should be happy, enjoy their new life together, their honeymoon, but instead they were going through a most terrible time. A betraying devil whispered malicious words in his ear. If she really loved you, she wouldn't have deceived and lied to you so much. And who could swear she wouldn't do the same again?

Kid shook his head to clear his head from those wicked thoughts. He had reached the bedroom and after knocking, he stepped inside when her voice told him to. "Hi," he said, feeling strangely uncomfortable from the threshold.

"Hi," she muttered.

"How are you feeling?" he asked after a long, awkward silence.

"Better, I guess."

He kept quiet for a few minutes, staring at her intensely, and finally he asked, "Lou, what's happening to you? Please tell me because I don't understand."

Lou turned her head towards the wall opposite her to avoid his demanding eyes. "You already know," she replied in a sharp voice.

"No, I don't know! That's why I'm asking you," Kid asked a bit too loudly as he rounded the bed and made her face him. "What the hell is happening here? We were fine yesterday and now everything is turned inside out. What's wrong, Lou? Do I make you miserable or what? I want to know, I need to know!"

"Nobody makes me miserable but myself," Louise muttered, trying to choke back the tears that smarted her eyes.

"Then what is it, Lou? I want to help you… do anything to make you happy. Talk to me, please."

"I… I can't," she let out awkwardly. It wasn't that she couldn't talk… she simply didn't quite understand the ups and downs that her mind was going through. All she knew was that she felt totally miserable and out of control.

Her lack of response annoyed him. He was trying to be patient and understanding but it irritated him to think that Lou wouldn't try to make things easier. "Well, when you feel like talking, I guess I'll be around," he said curtly as he walked to the door, and stopped to look at her again. "Remember there are two small children counting on you. Forget about me, but Joseph and Alice do need you. Please get a grip on yourself for both their sakes. Start acting like an adult. You can't keep running away all your life."

His words hurt more than she could express. The tears filled her eyes finally and when she turned to look at him, he was gone. All of a sudden, she felt more lonely than she had felt in months. Kid was slipping from her grasp and she might lose him forever. Maybe it was the best for him, but then what would happen to her? What would she do without Kid in her life?