Outside he turned right, making his way through the suburb, relaxing in the cold but bright November air.

He felt empty. As much as he regretted saying it – he was quite glad Sonny got bashed. Not for his sake of course, but more because it had given him direction, a sense of doing. It had taken his mind of the one cruel task at hand.

How long could he avoid going to Ms Stevens and telling her that T was never coming back?

It wasn't that he didn't want to that. Will knew that it was important to her to hear the news, and she would definitely appreciate him coming to her personally. Instead Will was just afraid. He was fragile and knew it. He knew that his mind would throw him back and take his healing process with it. But she deserved, didn't she?

He turned around on the spot and went back from where he came. The streets where empty and Will guessed most people were just at home having lunch with their friends and families. He chuckled lightly thinking about how he had seen no one from his old life yet. Truth be told, he had just been back in Salem for half a day but considering the size of his family and the one of Salem it was still a wonder.

He turned right and just shortly after, found himself standing in front of that porch, he got to know so well in the last couple of years.

Shaking he jumped up the few steps and knocked on the doorframe. His anxiety rose, he felt his vision blur and his heartbeat quicken. It was too soon. He shouldn't have come here, not yet anyway. For a moment he thought about running away, hide away in pretence, in the safety of the darkness and comfort of his own four walls. Suddenly he heard steps coming closer and door was opened promptly.

The white haired woman stared unbelieving at him, her ice blue eyes focusing on his face, his hair and his body. He felt the questions in her mind and saw the pure joy radiating from her.

"Will! Come here."

She opened her arms and he felt himself take those couple of steps and fell into her embrace. He breathed in, drowning in her perfume, drowning in the love.

Will stands in front of the porch. Tears have reddened his face; in his hand he still feels the weight of the bag he has packed under half an hour. His heart is loud; the beat seems to fill the depression of the silence. This is his only chance. If they won't take him in, he is back on the streets.

It's not like he doesn't have greater family but he is sure by now his mother has poisoned all of their thoughts. And anyway, his grandma Marlena is back fighting with her husband and has subsequently moved out of their shared house. By now she lives in a small flat. So Will has decided that she has enough worries on her own, without him knocking on her door and asking for shelter. And his dad has still not called, not spoken with him since the reveal. His other grandparents are either to scared to get in-between him and his mother or to eccentric for him to even consider moving in with them. Take his grandma Kate for example. Moving in with her would mean all sorts of things – but surely it would mean a lawsuit, a fight in front of every court in the country and an open fight on the town square. Yeah, sure she would have his best interest at heart, but he would not feel comfortable enough at hers to find himself, to work out the issues with his mother.

So all this thinking led him here. He has been here several times before, after all he knows T since sandbox days and since then they have gotten in all kinds of mischief and trouble. So subsequently he knows T's childhood home. He knows every creaking floorboard, every loose screw.

His hands find the doorframe and he knocks. The door is opened and Will stares into T's face.

Much like Will and his father, they haven't really talked since the revelation. Will swallows, as he is lost for words. And really, what is there to say. He will not apologise for telling the truth and waiting for his best friend to accept it. No one says anything until both of the boys hear Ms Stevens coming up behind them.

Her brown hair is a lose bun on her head, her eyes and face are smiling, there are traces of flour in her face and she wipes her hands on her shirt, before lighting up.

"William!"

She storms forward and hugs him. Will stiffens a little before reminding that this is T's mother, who he knows to be very affectionate.

"Will." She kisses his cheek. "It's so great to see you, when I haven't seen you in weeks." The way she looks over to T, when she pulls Will into the hallway, lets Will think, she has just directed something at T, without saying a word.

She pulls him further into the little house until he has sat at the round kitchen table with a hot cup of tea, steaming in front of him.

"So what have you been up to, lately?"

And because he feels so safe in her surrounding and it is the thing he wants to talk about anyway, he says: "I came out to my parents yesterday."

Maybe she has known what he was about to say; maybe she had suspected this fact about him already, however she doesn't miss a beat.

"How did that go?"

She puts the cake into the oven before cleaning her hands, grabbing the coffee cup and sitting down next to him. T is still leaned against the doorframe, looking everywhere but at Will. And Will feeling so loved by Ms Stevens leans to her and starts sobbing. It is one of that earth moving, life shattering cries. Will almost thinks it's too much, he shows to many emotions but then Ms Stevens leans towards him and hugs him until all his tears have dried.

When Will straightens again, he catches Ms Stevens throw a stern look to her son before saying to no one in particular.

"Glad to know what happened between you two, then."
Will takes a sip of his tea and traces lines with his fingers against the porcelain.

"Tad! Sit down." It's an order and T sits down immediately.

"So – I can only presume what happened, all right?" She doesn't wait for an answer. "You came out to T and T flipped out."

Will finds enough to strength to nod before looking over to T but doesn't find his eyes.

"So I am not here to scold you for that, Tad Simon Stevens, although I clearly want to. I raised you to be a kind, understanding, forgiving human being but I also raised you to be your own man, to make your own decisions. I just want you both – Tad more than you, Will – to think about whether this is truly enough to separate you. You have known each other since kindergarten god-damn-it. So if that bagatelle is enough so be it. I am your mother T and I wish it would be different. But that is basically your issue with Will. Because I …" She pauses and waits for Will to look up to her before continuing: "I love you, William. I do. So if that's who you are, I love that person exactly the same as I loved the young boy who ran around in his diapers or the one who dyed my son's hair green." She ruffles his hair, stands up and puts her cup into the sink.

"I couldn't help but noticing your bag. Of you course you can stay a while, Will. Just put your stuff into the small room upstairs, I will have a look whether we have a blow up mattress."

With those words she disappears from the kitchen, leaving behind a slightly happier Will, a deep-in-thought T and an awkward silence.

"So you really are …"

"Gay? Yes."

Will words come out harsher then he wanted to them to be but he cannot deal with more denial of this one fact.

"Look, Will. I am sorry. It was a shock, all right?"

Will looks at him again and finally finds the grey eyes he has looked for all this time.

"T, being shocked explains a week long silence, not several weeks." Will swallows. "I felt like I lost you. You know how much courage it takes to come out, to bare yourself to the person across from you? And I did it. I mustered that strength to tell my best mate who I am. And what does my mate do?"

"Punch you and tell you not to joke." T answers quietly. Will is sure he wouldn't have caught the words if he didn't already know what had happened that day.

"Exactly."
T massages his forehead.

"Look, Will. You are my best mate. That you are …" T coughs. "Shouldn't have mattered to me. But it does."

Will lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He feels his friendship crumble between every blink and every word spoken. For a moment he curses at himself because in retrospective, pretending to still have a best friend feels better than to know you've lost him completely.

"Will! Listen to me."
T grabs his hand and holds it in his for a moment, before removing his like he's burnt it and Will groans instantly.

"It matters because I thought I knew you. It matters, because although I thought that there were no secrets between us – you had one. It matters because saying that you were … meant I did not know you as well as I thought. That night I lay in bed and thought whether I overlooked something. Whether I could've come to you and tell you 'It doesn't matter, I already knew'. But I didn't find a single occasion where you would look at boys that way I like to look at girls. There wasn't a single occasion where you looked unhappy to rate girls on a scale from 1 to 10." T pauses and licks his lips. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have punched you. I should've listen to you. I should've told you how I felt about you being … who you are. I am so sorry, Will. I truly am."

Will smiles at that apology because he knows T hardly ever talks about his emotions, much less to him. So he appreciates T talking about what bothered him.

"T. It is alright. I mean it isn't. But it will be." T looks hopeful. "Just one thing. I've told my family a week ago that I am gay and since then they have avoided to acknowledge it ever since. Not once have they wanted to talk about it, not once have they said the word. So I would really like you trying to say it. Because I can't keep living with people pretending I did not say it."

Will feels the heavy atmosphere around them and adds, partially to take some of the heaviness away: "That just to be upfront and straight with you."

And just like Will predicted T started to grin at that and nudges him in the side before getting up an gesturing Will to follow him.

"I damn well hope, you want to be straight with me. Cause just because you are gay, doesn't mean I am anyway near interested in male body parts." There is still a little pause before the word 'gay' but Will doesn't press the matter. T tries at that is all Will could ever ask for. Instead he snorts.

"You not interested in male anatomy? With your non-existing luck and no interest in male body parts you do realise you will not get any for quite a while?" T screams and starts chasing him through the house and up the stairs.

Later that day, when Will and T lie on T's bed completely ruffled and exhausted from the play fight, Will cannot help but think optimistically that everything will be ok.

They sat on the sofas, each with a cup of coffee in their hands when Ms Stevens started to speak.

"You know, you showing off like this, with no phone call prior and without him – I almost start to fear the worst."

Will stayed quiet. Once again he got a glimpse of how bad his idea had been. Normally he should've come with words prepared with a rough idea of what to say cause by now he began to realise that his silence might had been worse than any words he could had said.

Ms Stevens' eyes started to water and her hands were shaking. He could hear her quickened breath, her anxiety. Will didn't know what to say or what to do. He made his way over to her sofa, sat down beside her and embraced her. He tried to put exactly as much love in it as she had done so often with him. But deep inside he knew that broken people cannot love like other's do. And deep inside he knew that Ms Stevens had always been whole. She had always been able to pass on that particular kind of love whereas he had always been broken. And deep inside he knew that Ms Stevens was broken now as well, that would take some time for her to heal, that would take some time until she would be able to pass on love to him again.

She was sobbing silently but violently against his chest. He felt her hot tears on his shirt, soaking it. He didn't care.

Hours seemed to pass like this. Will was lost in thought so he didn't know how long it was in reality, when Ms Stevens sobered up and dried her tears with the blanket next to hear.

"You know." She began to speak, pulling him out of whatever thought he had been in. "I would love to ask how it happened. But I know you are not ready for that. So I won't ask." She took his hand that laid on top of that blanket and squeezed it. She must had read the questions that were twirling on his mind cause she continued.

"You were there, weren't you? That's why I haven't gotten a letter stating that my son was killed in action and that some kind of secretary in the office for international affairs is sorry for my loss. You came here to tell me in person instead of letting me read that nonsense."

Will hardly found the strength to nod. How could she read him like this? How could she be so calm after what he had just told her? Once again, he turned his head to muster her. He admired her strength. She had just heard that her only son died aged 24 and she sat there like nothing earth shattering had happened.

"I don't get it. Why aren't you breaking down?" He voiced his thoughts.

Ms Stevens was silent for a minute before starting to speak.

"He got the girl, didn't he?"

"You are what?"

Will exclaims. He cannot understand why T would do such a thing. Was he even crazier that he thought? Has he given any thought to his family? Will knows they won't like this at all. I mean they will let him choose his future for himself but this idea? No way, too risky for someone like T.

"You heard me. Chicks will love it..."

Will can't help but laugh. He knew there had to be something behind it. But to realize this idea, just to have a pick up line. T wasn't Barney Stinson. That was not going to work.

"You are beyond help, T, you know that right?"

T boxes him in the side.

"We'll see, Horton, we'll see."

"When he told me about joining the army, I told him to go to college first and maybe join it later, when he still wants it then. I told him 18 is too young to commit to something that could cost his life."
Will cringed at the bluntness.

"I told him that word for word. I told him he could very well die over there. And do you know what he said? He said if joining the army would make her notice him, it was worth all that. He told his own mother that he wouldn't mind dyeing for this one girl." Ms Stevens smiled sadly at the memory. "That was when I knew. For him, that girl was it. For him, his life would only play out in that exact way." She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "Have I hoped he'd come back? Absolutely. Have I prepared myself for the contrary case? Absolutely."

She stood up and folded the blanket before grabbing both cups and bringing them into the kitchen. Will followed her, not wanting to stay alone in an empty, silent room.

"When I saw that he had truly joined the armed forces I cried. I cried all night in my room. But that night I swore something into the night. I swore myself that I would not mourn his decision. I would not curse at his choice of life. I would not swear at those who killed him. I would be happy for him, because he got the life he wanted. For him, his death made sense. And I am not to judge all that because I choose to believe he died for a cause that was at least noble to him."

Their conversation had died quite quickly after that. Will didn't know whether anything he could say could take away her underlying grief but he felt unwanted. Ms Stevens had started cleaning the room and Will took it that this was her way of keeping busy to prevent thinking about her son. Will understood the sentiment. So they said their goodbyes. He leaned to her and kissed her cheek. She embraced him and whispered: "Don't be a stranger William Horton. I need this house alive, your hear me. I need someone to talk to, now that he isn't here anymore, all right? Stay in touch."