A/N: I am back!!! Okay, not for long. I'm under house arrest with no computer access, so you can imagine my level of insanity right now. I was never normal to begin with, and well... I can't promise a good chapter, I can't promise I'll update, but I WILL try my best to write, edit and post it up ASAP. Oh, and many thanks to YukinoKara, (my beta!!) and Shikamarurules1 for naming the MOST SADISTIC CAT OF ALL TIME MUAHAHAHA-hack- -cough- -cough- Um, on with the story... A/N end
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Envy jumped ten feet in the air when he felt the claws. He crashed back down to earth with a throbbing head, and glared up at the ceiling, which was cracked and had a perfect imprint of the top of Envy's head, complete with hair roots and everything.
The cat sat on Envy's half-covered foot, playing with Envy's shoelaces. Envy immediately knew he was dealing with something very dangerous. It stared up at the teen with an air of haughtiness unrivaled by anybody. Or anything.
Envy, who had never in his life respected anyone except for Dante (grudgingly) and Lust (he didn't hate her, not really), found himself getting on his knees to look at the cat straight in the face. It half-closed its eyelids to stare back at him.
"Minimo."
The cat yawned, stretching its jaws open and flicking its tongue out. It brushed its nose against Envy's, and then turned around and walked away. Envy felt as though he's just been graced by the Queen's presence.
He shook his head, reminding himself to go for a check-up to see if he was going insane.
-----
Roy stopped short, staring at the gates... Or more specifically, the person in front of the gates. He let his eyes rake over the womanly curves, and the wavy long hair, so inky black it could almost rival his. Almost. He focused on the pinkish eyes and the ivory pale skin, and mentally tasted the soft, plump lips. She reminded him of someone. That didn't matter.
She leaned against the side of her dark purple convertible, looking utterly relaxed. Roy had met mafias with the same calm. And they were deadly. She held her hands crossed over her chest, looking at the open doors. Looking at him.
"What the...? Lust, what the hell are you doing here?"
Roy knew that voice. His eye twitched when the voice became louder with every step.
The woman looked past him and onto the newcomer.
"Envy dear, what took you so long? I was getting tired of waiting." she smiled slightly and uncrossed her arms, holding them up towards Envy. Roy snorted.
Envy pushed past him, giving him a glare. Roy stared back fearlessly into his eyes. He also ignored the very unsubtle 'Look-any-more-and-I-will-rip-your-head-off' message.
The green-haired teen walked up to the woman, head held high.
"C'mon, Lust, let's go," he said, grabbing her arm roughly, "This place is full of crazy people."
The two off them stepped into the purple convertible and sped off.
-----
Edward removed himself from the window. So I guess he's still mad at me.... Somehow.
He rubbed his arm unconsciously and winced in pain. He'd just broken one of the thin scars and the cut started bleeding again. He slowly sunk down to the floor.
"Stupid cat."
-----
Ling ran a hand through his jet-black hair and tugged lightly on his ponytail. Something happened to his new friend, and he didn't like 'things' happening to his friends. Problem is, he didn't know specifically what happened.
"Envy happened, that's what."
He blinked and turned to his left. Anne was looking straight ahead, making no sign to tell him that she had just spoken. Her voice was soft and mystical, and she was always sending people mixed messages. Right now he was getting the feeling that she both wanted to hug him and dig out his eyeballs. Maybe both.
Ling turned his gaze back onto the blond leaving the school, walking slowly with his head down.
"Do you know why?"
Anne rolled her eyes. "He likes Envy."
Ling raised opened his slanty eyes just a bit wider.
"I mean, it's totally obvious that he's gay. The minute I set my eyes on him my gaydar went off almost as strongly as when I first met Envy." she paused a while, then looked up at Ling. "...and you. You like him, don't you?"
Ling gave her his slanty eyed scowl. "You're blunt."
Anne smirked. "No, I'm Asian."
-----
Wrath walked slowly, savoring the little chance he could walk with Alphonse. At least the bus stop was a good half kilometer away.
Their hands brushed together, and Wrath half-listened to the ranting Alphonse, preferring to concentrate on the small patch of skin which suddenly seemed too hot.
"Hey, hey, Wrath?"
Wrath snapped out of his little day-dream to focus back on Alphonse's face.
"Yeah?"
"Isn't that Envy and Lust?"
And so it was. Envy's right arm hung out of the purple Porsche, while his left was gesturing around wildly. Lust leaned back into the driver's seat, arm resting on the wheel and nodding at Envy.
"I... think they're waiting for me." Wrath muttered.
Lust happened to glance at the side mirror and caught the reflection of a very confused-looking Wrath. She stuck her hand out of the window and waved Wrath over.
"We're going for dinner, now hop in." she unlocked the car door for him.
Wrath climbed into the back seat and looked over at Alphonse.
Alphonse gave him a cherry wave. "I'll be going, then. See you at school tomorrow, Wrath."
Wrath waved half-heartedly out of the window, a little sad he didn't get to spend more time with his boyf- best friend. Yes, best friend.
Envy glanced at the rear-view mirror and snickered. Wrath's red face turned scarlet. Damn Envy. Damn, damn, damn that cross-dressing palm tree!!
-----
The next morning was terrible for Edward. His head throbbed, his homework got slashed to their deaths with all credit going to the EVIL TERROR CAT OF DOOM and his rubber band snapped on the way to school.
Golden blond hair shimmered in the sunlight, blinding anyone within 3 feet of the shininess. Edward ignored the random shouts of 'Hey wanna go out Saturday night?' and 'Dude, you're even gayer than you were yesterday!' and fumed all the way to his class.
He slammed his book bag onto the table and rested his head onto the crook of his elbow.
"Ling, do you have a rubber band?"
Ling stopped drinking from his juice can to rummage around in his pockets.
"Nope, sorry."
Edward sighed through his nose.
"'Sides, you look great with your hair down."
Ling propped his feet up on the table and smiled at him. "Oh, and later at lunch, Anne's friend wants to meet you. She..." Here he paused, looking for the right word. "She's a fortune teller."
Edward raised an eyebrow skeptically. He didn't believe in fortune telling, horoscopes, fate, karma and stuff like that. It was unscientific and Edward didn't do unscientific.
He turned away and twisted his hair around. His neck was getting hot.
The door opened and Envy came in. His eyes were dull, then getting sharper, until he had bore a hole into Roy's head, only the raven didn't notice. Roy, was, for once, ignoring the girls and zoning out. He hadn't even joked about Edward's hair.
Edward watched the glare intensify until the bell rang. Envy looked up, a little surprised at having been glaring at Roy for 4 minutes and 37 seconds and that man-whore didn't even notice! He swished into the back of the room just as Mr. Tucker came in. He didn't even glance at Edward once.
-----
Edward tugged on his hair, his headache becoming consistently worse. He saw lights in his vision and felt choked. Maybe it was because he was lying on the cafeteria bench, staring up at the artificial light and breathing in oily, dusty cafeteria air.
He hoisted himself off the bench to stare at Ling, who was going through the food he got from his second trip to the line. He stopped eating for a second and smiled at Edward through a mouthful of baked beans and rice, then resumed stuffing himself. Edward wondered absently how he stayed so fit.
He closed his eyes and willed the headache away. Away... away.... away.... who was making that racket? He could hear girlish screaming and shrieking and random fast babbling complete with hysterical laughter at consistent intervals. The cafeteria door slammed open and he turned around to look.
Anne walked in with another girl, both laughing hysterically and randomly pointing at random people. The other girl wore all black, reminding him of Envy, and her turquoise hair brushed her shoulder gently. She waved her arms around, narrowly missing hitting someone with a big black leather bag (which stored the crystal ball, Edward thought). Anne pulled her along, and Edward watched her pitch forward onto the seat next to him.
"Eep!!" the girl crashed into the seat, her legs sticking out awkwardly. Anne rolled her eyes and helped her up.
"And so you're Edward? Hi, nice to meet you." the girl said breathlessly, one hand on her chest.
Edward noticed that she had drawn black eye-liner all over her eyes, making them seem bigger and her pupils much more noticeable. She waved her hand around and made her bangles jingle.
"I stick a hand out at you, and you hold it, shake, let go. Okay?" She shoved her face into Edward's, the aura surrounding her becoming exceptionally sinister.
Edward gulped. "Yes, ma'am." He took her hand and shook. The aura was replaced with one of matchless euphoria.
"Great, I'm Nike Discordia, Nike: as in Victory in Greek; Discordia: Italian for discord, you can call me Nike, but just in case you're wondering, these-" she stuck her boot-clad leg at him, "are Doc Martens. Hey, so are yours!"
She grinned at him again, and Edward felt an overwhelming sense of TMI (1). This completely weird, no wait, scratch that, idiosyncratic girl had just come up to him and messed around with his head.
Anne took his shoulders gently and eased him back into the bench. He hadn't even noticed he had jumped up and tried to run away.
"Edward, sit down. We're not done yet."
He grit his teeth and turned back to the Girl In Black. She was busily checking her bag and muttering to herself. Finally, she pulled out a thick book and slammed it into the remains of Ling's lunch. Ling himself had mysteriously vanished. Edward cursed.
"Okay, so as far as I know, and mostly because Anne told me, you're gay and in denial." she settled down into Ling's seat, right across Edward.
"I. AM. NOT. GAY!!" he spluttered, quickly turning a deep shade of red.
Nike and Anne exchanged quick nods. Edward suddenly didn't feel very smart, because he had just given them all the proof they needed.
"Thou thinks doth protests too much..." they chirped in unison, Anne doing the victory gesture and Nike flipping through her book. Edward sighed, ran a hand through his hair and surrendered. The faster he got this over with, the better.
"Hmm... Let's see, gay, gay, denial--"
"I told you I am NOT gay!"
Anne stopped prying open the lollipop wrapper and stared at Edward, long and hard.
"Ed, you're about as straight as cooked spaghetti."
Edward chose not to reply.
-----
Roy sighed into his lunch. Today he chose a simple steamed bun and two slices of bacon. He wished it had been two steamed buns instead. Damn him and his pervertedness.
His line of thought drifted over to the woman-who was she? Envy's girlfriend? He always thought he was gay. Mother? No, she's too young. Or rather, too proud. Sister...? Possibly. Damn, if he wants to get her he needs to be nice to her little brother. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place.
And speak of the devil, there he is. Okay, okay, breathe in, breathe out. You can do this, Mustang. Smile, smile, smile-
Fuck. He could feel his smile twitch slightly. Envy was staring at him, his face scrunched up and mouth hanging open.
"Oh my god, Mustang, that's gross!! Fuck it, stop staring at me!"
Roy dropped the act completely and transformed his face into an impassive look.
"Shit, and when I try to be nice to you too. Damn you, freak."
Envy's eye twitched.
-----
It is a truth universally acknowledged that the cafeteria is the best place to fight, especially between a man-whore and a psychotic teen from Mars.
By the time the teachers had arrived, the cafeteria had became a place of major food waste.
The children in Africa must be crying their hearts out, if they aren't already.
Envy and Roy were sentenced to two week's worth of detention in the same room.
How can the authority actually expect the two boys to behave in a cramped, small classroom when they've seen the obvious amount of destruction they could create in less than ten minutes? Edward shook his head in amazement and tried to shake the ketchup out of his hair. The smart, casualty-free thing to do was to separate them forever.
Nike grumbled and brushed the remains of Ling's lunch off her tight skirt and hardcover. Edward sneaked a look at the title that read: The Secrets To All Secrets Revealed by C. Kretes. He could've killed himself.
Nike was complaining and whining into Anne's ear (and Edward's) while she checked the pages of her book. Anne herself was grinning maniacally and laughing at something. Probably something that has to do with tuna fish.
Edward quickly slipped unnoticed into the nearest W.C. He stuck his head under the tap and let the water wash away the remains of the ketchup. Now, if by any chance there was shampoo lying around...
The door opened and Edward came face-to-face to the boy of his dreams--no, dammit!! The boy of his nightmares, yes, that sounded much better.
Envy blinked a couple of times at the wet-haired Edward (who looked like he was about to cry) and burst into peals of crazy laughter.
Edward pouted in the most manly way. When Envy had snickered to his heart's content, he grin and looked back at Edward.
Who still had dripping wet hair.
"You look good with your hair down."
Edward's eyes widened, his heart thumping loudly, and he automatically stepped back when Envy took a step closer to him.
"It makes you look like a girl."
His heart was still beating loudly, but now he was just damned offended.
Envy was enraptured by the glinting, golden hair (it reminded him of Goldilocks) and the drips of water just made the whole thing much more sensual...
...Thing? There was no thing!!
Envy snapped to his senses and looked at the scene before him. Edward was now backed up against the wall, his golden eyes wide open and frozen on Envy's shockingly violet ones. His lips were slightly open and he could feel hot breath upon his own lips. It was only then he noticed how incredibly close they were. Envy had pinned both of Edward's hands on the wall, and one of Envy's thigh was invading Edward's personal space. If he leaned forward just a little bit more...
The rational part of his brain said, 'Envy, you can't do this, not even if you're a psychologically insane kid.' The irrational part of his brain said, 'Holy fuck he looks hot!!'
Envy never was good at listening to his rational side.
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Phew! I got it finished! Finally, thanks for waiting, everyone!!
(1)-TMI: Too much information
Oh any there will be no Naruto characters in this fic because the poll demands it. The results follow:
Yes-1
No-2
I don't care, it's your story-2
So... nope, no SasuNaru goodness.
Don't worry, there'll be lots of Edvyness coming up. -^^-
Ps. Do you guys like the OC? (Anne and Nike, if you hadn't noticed) Want more LingEd?
REVIEW!! XDD
