A/N: here it is-Dick's backstory for this verse. Also, a sneak-peak of Damian's future codename! Explanations at the end if anyone's confused.
As with later interludes, bold text will be someone else interrupting the monologue somehow.
.o.o.o.
Interlude 1: Silent Night
.o.o.o.
You had always liked heroes. Robin Hood was a favorite, though the growing number of superheroes in real life also interested you a lot.
You guess your backstory could be seen as a superhero origin, if you looked past the sad bits. Or if you really liked Bruce or Kori's or maybe Clark's stories, looked right at at the sad bits too.
You don't like how little you can recall of…before. Talons were nothingness, were empty. Empty of rational thought, of inhibitions…you couldn't be that with memories. Memories shaped you, made you who you were.
You remembered your parents, remembered that English was your second language, the first was Romani and after a year under the Owls you'd pretty much reverted to that by default, and not a very grammatically correct version either. You remembered a circus tent and remembered…falling. Could see it in your head when you paused.
You'd been trained to and had killed. Random people, mostly homeless who wouldn't be traced, were used. Sometimes you saw them when you paused, instead of the fall.
You saw the blood and corpses, and felt the nothing and hated it now that you could see it from the present.
Batman, Bruce, had saved you from that. Batman had been smart enough and Bruce kind enough to know you couldn't go to an orphanage. He'd tried to get you help.
You didn't like the psychiatrists. Too many questions, and later too many thoughts of Arkham. It took years for the constantly repeated phrases—"selective mutism" "insomniac" "abandonment issues" and more—to mean anything and for you to know why they were always said about you.
Bruce and Alfred had adjusted pretty well to you, all things considered. Bruce was slowly training you out of bad—lethal—habits and Alfred was nice and both were getting you back to English and actual Romani language instead of what he'd used.
You never had to go to the parties if you didn't want to. They were too loud. People looked at you for how you talked—or more often, because you wouldn't.
A lot of people thought you were stupid. You guess in some ways you were, but then everyone was stupid in some ways, even Bruce and Lex Luthor and Timmy. You were homeschooled by Alfred since they all knew public school would kill you.
You'd been happy to get a classmate when Jason had shown up—except you two really weren't really together much. Alfred kept trying to get you in the same room as Jason but you'd been thirteen and skittish.
Then Bruce had a party and Jason had hidden in his room. Bruce had been fine with it—that had been your first reaction to parties too even if you sometimes made an effort now and then to go—and you had gone to inspect your new "brother".
You'd liked Jason. The kid was raw, readable. You had decided you two were brothers and you'd protect Jason and love him. Jason had agreed.
A few months later Jason was street-ready. You made his costume and called him Robin after some fleeting happy memories of your own. Jason was…so Jason that it made you want to go out there too. Made you feel like maybe you could, should. So you made up Nightwing and did.
Alfred grounded you for not telling anyone first. Bruce had been too beside himself to think of what to do with you at the time.
Bruce had been the one with the idea to ship you two to the Titans at once. There were people there strong enough to keep you in check in case of…accidents and it was somewhere Jason and you could make friends.
Day one, Jason hit on Donna. Day two you got kissed by Kori so she could learn Romani. Day three you both beat up Dr. Light with the team. It was kind of nice.
You got to meet other heroes, too. You liked Superman, liked Clark Kent. The man was too nice not to like.
Jason's mom died. He never said anything about it, so you thought he was okay. Before Tim came along and made the family talk about things, that was how you all thought about that stuff—so-and-so's not talking, so they must be okay.
But Jason hadn't been okay. Jason had been breaking and it made you sad when you realized you hadn't noticed—you were supposed to be the protector, the big brother.
Jason found his real mom two years later and went to her. You had actually, genuinely screamed at Bruce to call Clark damn it so they could find him faster. Bruce, seeing what this was doing to you, complied.
You'd still been too late. Batman had just stared at the rubble as the Joker laughed and laughed but then you had lost it and lunged.
You remembered it. Barbara was still freshly shot, and now Jason was dead. You remembered choking and hitting and slashing and hate and Superman grabbing you by the arm and snapping it like a twig to make you calm the hell down, Nightwing and Batman waking the Joker back up, no, no, he was dead, why'd he do that, he could have just been dead! Let him stay dead, Bruce!
Then Jason was okay and you were horrified. You couldn't talk to Jason for a while. Most of your slips had lasted seconds—you'd beaten the Joker for a minute solid. You'd probably laughed a little yourself. You didn't want to have to tell Jason his big brother was a murderer.
Then Jason brought Timmy. Timmy somehow made everyone talk a lot, even when you didn't really feel like it. But you all worked things out, and Jason made Timmy Robin and decided he was Red Hood and came bounding home one night going Dick, Dick, I told the Joker where to stick it!
You'd been happy. You couldn't call Timmy a brother though, Timmy's dad had died and it was sensitive. You hung around Cassandra instead, helping Bruce with her training.
Timmy's mom died and his stepdad found out about him being Robin. You didn't know Jack Drake, you'd had no reason to know Jack Drake, but Jason was apparently scared enough of the man to jump out a forth story window in his civvies. So you had asked if Timmy needed them.
Timmy didn't come by for a long while. Spoiler got him to by playing Robin. You made Bruce let her in the fold for that. You'd needed to know Timmy was okay and she made it happen.
You remembered when Black Mask almost killed Spoiler. You remembered when any member of your family was threatened, no matter their role. You remembered going to finish the guy so Steph could come home and stop playing dead when Catwoman did it for you.
Steph still didn't come home for over a year. When she did, you'd been very huggy. In your defense it was after a stressful gang war.
Things kept changing. Timmy lost more people. Jason became taller than you. You and Kori had started seeing each other more.
You all met Damian.
You didn't see too many issues with the kid, outside of the whole "tried to kill Timmy when he first met him" thing. You knew in many ways you'd been worse and better at once. Damian could think about killing even if he didn't understand why it was bad. You kept an eye on him when he was around for whatever reason he was around for, but the kid really just wanted Bruce's approval.
Damian was really bad one night when he tried to kill a D-list villain in a very weird attempt to get Bruce's approval. You had stopped him and silently hauled him back to the cave.
You didn't talk to Dami at all until Talia dropped him on Bruce permanently. Even then, you'd only really started talking shortly before Bruce's…before that.
But you would help him. Dami learned fast, he was almost as brilliant as Tim and easily as eager as Jason. You would help him learn. Help your little Blackbird learn since Bruce couldn't.
You wanted Gotham to be okay, it mattered to Bruce and Jason and Timmy and Dami. But Gotham didn't matter to you like they did. You'd drag all three out if you had to, if there was no other option. Bruce had shipped you, Jason, and Timmy out for almost all of No Man's Land. You would do the same if you had to.
But first all of you would go for the last save. Try and fix what was broken. That's what the people in this big old house had always done, tried to fix Gotham.
Richard aww Dami why does he have to call you that when are you taking me out? I thought I was allowed on the streets? Silly Dami.
You told him to wait until he was better, until Alfred gave him 100 percent.
Fine. But you don't get to see my project until then.
You almost pouted. Your little bird was very willful, very Damian about these things. And you were very curious about what was so special about what he was working on in the garage…
"Sure Dami. Can wait a few nights."
.o.o.o.
A/N: Since it's Dick, this is a purely mental monologue.
For anyone wondering: The "Damian being bad" bit was when in the comics he killed a minor villain thinking it would get approval-in this verse Dick stopped him and hauled his butt back home. The "stressful gang war" is Gotham Underground. I recommend it, it's a good trade and features Spoiler's return and one of Alfred's coolest moments (Damian wasn't there yet tho). Donna is Donna Troy. Jason hit on her a lot during a crisis crossover when he was a teen. And yes, Dick has seen psychiatrists, it's why he's not worse off.
