Chapter 7: Feelings

Arnold and Helga now walking back towards the car decided to stop at the boarding house for a few minutes to gaze at it.

Helga figured it would help Arnold out a bit more.

Arnold stood outside the boarding house, the sun now shining brightly as his memories began to flood his mind. This was the same stoop he sat on many a times during story time by his grandpa Phil. The same stoop that Gereld and Arnold would play board games on. The windows still the same, the street was still the same except for a few new modern shops at the end of each block.

Arnold smiled at the memories he suddenly began to see.

"Lets go" Arnold said to Helga as he began walking towards the car.

Helga smiled at her memories as well, so many times she had snuck into his house and attempted all those times to avoid having him find out her secret. Her love for him.

She watched him as he walked next to the car. She studied him slowly.

He lit another cigarette inhaling as he laid back against the car, his body open and relaxed placing the hand leaning against the car in his pants pocket and using his other hand to smoke the cigarette. Her eyes began trailing from his face downwards...to his neck...his broad chest...stomach...and...oh my. Helga began to flush bright red.

Her eyes trailed back up to his face, when there eyes met he held the same carnal desire and lust for her as she may not have realized she was looking at him the same way. His face was relaxed, with a light smirk on his lips and his eyes fastened on her, seeming to undress her in his mind as well by eyeing her up and down.

Helga felt like she had been standing naked in the middle of the street just by him looking at her. She now felt moist in between her legs. Crap! She thought to herself, and tried to play it off as she walked towards the car, and shoved him out of the way.

Arnold snickered to himself under his breath.

"Move!" Helga demanded as she hopped in the car and started it not waiting for Arnold to get in.

He snickered a bit louder at her response, finishing his cigarette he flicked it, and hopped in the car.

Helga began to squirm uncomfortably in her seat.

"Stupid football head" Helga muttered under her breath.

Arnold maintained his cool composure, heard what she said and decided to leave it alone.

They drove most of the way back in silence.

"Helga, may I go with you?" Arnold said not looking at her again, merely inquiring if it would be alright with her.

Helga said nothing, and took a moment to ponder his request. Honestly she wanted nothing more than to be around him, but she needed a breather to think some things over. Then again, she knew why he didn't want to go home, it was awful. She just couldn't say no...not to him.

"Yeah, you can" Helga said briefly not looking at him either for a moment. She did turn to look at him, and he had a small smile on his lips. There was light in his eyes from what she could tell. Why was he so happy? He said nothing in response of thanks.

His smile seemed to be his thank you for the moment.


Helga's placed the car in park in front of her apartment and her cell phone rang. She reached inside her purse to answer it.

"Hello?" Helga answered.

"Helga!?" A familiar mousy voice said over the phone.

Helga's smile couldn't stop spreading once she knew who it was.

"Phoebe! Oh my God, I miss you...how have you been?!" Helga practically squealed over the phone.

"I've been good, busy with my studies and the fiancee as usual. How has life in the limelight been? I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to catch you on tv! You probably looked awesome!" Phoebe said in her tiny Asian like voice that made Helga's insides warm. Finally something familiar after all this, unfamiliarity.

"Wait! When did you and Gerald become engaged?!" Helga said almost near a yell over the phone.

Helga glanced over, as she grabbed her things. She saw Arnold standing focused, and a bit of curiosity played on his facial expression.

Dammit, he was listening in on her conversation. Could she ever catch a break?

"Well, since we have been dating for a long time. A long long time actually, we decided to tie the knot last week. He popped the question with the ring and everything. Oh Helga, it was perfect & wonderful!" Phoebe said allowing her happiness to exhuberate through the phone.

Helga began walking into her apartment and Arnold followed swiftly behind her, almost like a body guard.

"Phoebe, I'm so happy for you! That's awesome, honestly" Helga replied trying to sound genuine but unfortunately was juggling all her things and opening the door to her apartment at the same time, not to mention Arnold was following right behind her, which in turn made her nervous.

"Helga, are you busy now? Whats wrong?" Phoebe asked her, now picking up on everything seeming to go on around Helga, even though she was thousands of miles away. Best friends are incredible.

Helga finally making into the apartment placed her purse down and began walking into the spacious and large living room so she could get some air away from Arnold. His gaze was making her insides melt.

"I'm fine Phoebe, its just been a long time since we last talked on the phone...and I miss you." Helga replied allowing her gentleness show.

"Helga, are you feeling okay? Whats going on...talk to me" Phoebe said to her, almost sounding demanding. That was the beautiful thing about friendships, or real ones. They were always evolving, because while she still sounds mousy, she was in no way mousy. Then again being with Gerald has had that effect on her lately. Helga appreciated it a whole lot more than not.

"I'll call you later okay? I promise, besides I need to talk to you about...well...you know my secret." Helga said to her hoping she would pick up on it.

"You mean your secret about Arnold?" Phoebe said matter of factly.

"Yes, and you won't believe everything I have to tell you. But I have to go now, talk to you later okay? Miss you much Phoebe. Bye." Helga said hanging up the phone, and holding the phone close to her heart.

"So hows Phoebe doing these days?" Arnold said to Helga, as he was leaning against the wall entrance to the living room. His posture relaxed as usual, but his eyes were hard slits basically as a threat to her about what they had discussed earlier. Was he listening to our conversation? Helga decided to brush it off.

"Shes fine, her and Gerald are engaged now. Arnold, if you want to stay in my house, you have to learn to respect my privacy." Helga said to him harshly hoping he would pick up what she had a problem with him about.

He scoffed maliciously at her with a devilish smirk on his lips. He said nothing to her in response and simply lifted himself from the wall he was leaning against then decided to disappear to explore the apartment.


Helga breathed a huge sigh of relief now that he was finally gone. She had been all wound up from being around him. The tension between them was getting stronger and stronger and she couldn't stand it any longer. She was hoping he didn't feel it.

She plopped herself down on the couch, now finally exhausted from the night prior spent. She didn't realize how tired she was because she was around Arnold. A man who is officially insane, who has murdered in the past, but who can be so charming and cute at the same time. Does that make him a bad person? Of course it does. But in the world we live in, and grow up in...its not at black and white as we believe it to be as children.

The only reason she was so tense, and exhausted was because they had stayed up talking...She felt like she had been entrusted with a grave burden. She had only been told this new information a few hours ago, versus him he had been carrying all of that alone for 12 or so years.

How do you live with yourself? How do you even begin to enjoy death of another human being? Children and women especially. She was confused, terrified, and more importantly...still madly in love with him.

This just makes no sense, how could she be in love with a man who is completely different and separate from the boy she once loved? Is it because she believed in hope in him? No. It was because, its how he was. Its always been him and no other man.

Any man that ever did approach Helga, was never interested. She wasn't perfect either by no means, but...she just couldn't stop thinking about him.

The way he made her feel, she felt safe in his arms, even though hes a very dangerous man. Somehow she knew that nothing would ever hurt her...could she put her love and trust in him? If so...did he feel the same way about her?

Helga's body then proceeded to fall lifelessly on the soft suede couch, and tried to sleep.

Even though she knew her mind would give her no rest.


Arnold decided to explore the house. It was just one of his natural habits whenever he would stay somewhere, even if it was for a few hours. He needed to inspect it and know where everything is in case of any coming danger.

He did make a promise to Helga, not realizing himself what he even said. It wasn't because of him being in the moment. He felt something for her, she was the only one...who told him what he needed to hear. Sure to any normal person he sounded crazy, which is why he never bothered his friends or anyone from his past with what he had been through. Perhaps he dumped it all on her too soon. He should have let himself more in her world a bit more, but he could tell she was getting suspicious about his behavior.

Last night when she said about him needing to be ashamed about himself, when it came to his reaction. The only reason he pinned her under his body, was because sure he was angry because she had no idea what he had been through, and the other reason was because she had aroused him with the way she spoke to him. Unafraid, until he told her everything. Then she became weak, but he knew Helga was a strong individual. Usually his senses about people are correct. Not to mention she did bully him, you have to have some type of toughness about you to live on in this world.

When she's in front of press, and media, that same cold harsh person he sees in himself...exists in her. Maybe not to the magnitude of himself, but he saw it. He anticipated it, and waited on it to strike him back. She could deny all she wants about not being cold, bullshit. They were more alike they she cared to let on.

However that's not to say he doesn't have his regrets about his life. If he could have grown up completely naive and optimistic about life...he would have. He would trade for it in less of a fraction of a second. He was a fool on a fools errand to search for his parents. Still not believing after killing as many as he did, he still wanted to believe his parents were alive...so they would save him from this cursed fate of his.

Some may think the way he is now is nothing more than self pity. No, its not. He just knows on the inside that if he could change...he would. He wanted to believe it was too late, but this feeling he grew for Helga, was the strongest feeling he's felt in a long time amongst a dry barren wasteland of hopeless dreams. What was it? This need, and desire for her.

At first it started out strictly carnal because that was all he knew, until she saw right through him. Now, it was more...now, he wanted nothing more than to be by her side and protect her from any harm. This woman, had unknowingly to him...became the center of his world. His sanctuary. The home he yearned for, so many years. All found in this one woman.

Yet he could see...in her eyes she was terrified of him. This thought made his heart sink, not because he didn't expect it. But because in 12 years of his life she was the FIRST person he had told THE TRUTH of what happened to him, and yet here she was mortified with him. He could have easily lied and played the game by her rules, teasing her, and following along with whatever she threw his way having her NEVER find out the truth.

Sure she would have been suspicious of his behavior but would never put two and two together. However knowing her, she would have demanded a fess up sooner or later, like she did last night.

He closed his eyes and envisioned how beautiful she looked allowing her emotions to be completely subjugated and vulnerable to him, the thought made him growl low under his breath.

Ironically, before he couldn't stand it about her...now it aroused him. Go figure.

Another thing about her that was really starting to work his nerves...she was hiding something about him, and it drove him insane to no end.

He was going to find out what it was, but this time he will be more gentle...after all the last thing he wanted to do was chase away the only woman who made him feel at home. The one woman, who he was afraid of the soon to be inevitable.


Helga awoke from her slumber now panicking, and fear stricken, it was already in the afternoon and she slept all the way through. Helga began frantically looking around the living room, and spotted Arnold standing in between the entrance to the living room, eyes closed as she jumped now realizing he was there.

"And this is how you treat male company." Arnold said, not opening his eyes and a smirk playing on his lips.

"Crimeny football head, you scared the wits out of me. Stop doing that." Helga nearly barking at him.

He smiled that same devilish smile, Helga couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

"I'm merely keeping my promise, Ms. Pataki. I apologize if my methods are unknown to you." Arnold replied not saying what was really on his mind, because he maintained the devilish smirk.

Helga breathed a heavy sigh, now that she thought about it.

"Hey Arnold..." Helga started off saying. He still did not open his eyes, merely lifted the one eyebrow towards her direction as if intently listening to her. Why did he need his eyes closed? He looked like an animal intently listening for his prey.

"How would you like to be my body guard?" Helga said now reassured at her question.

His eyes shot open, still remaining calm as he assessed the question not looking at her.

He smirked still looking evil in his face.

"Now why would you think to ask me something like that?" Arnold said, turning towards her his eyes questioning, and almost happy at her inquisition.

"Well, seeing as you gave me a long resume last night and I thought about...well, the last thing I need is some random fan trying to come by my house or anything and-" Helga began saying but was cut short by Arnold speaking.

"Do you not understand that my being around you is putting you in danger as we speak?" Arnold said to her, attempting to remain calm.

Helga blinked at him surprised.

"Helga, I left the gang that I was affiliated with...but they may still be looking for me. I do not know when they may strike, and I am putting you in danger" Arnold replied, now allowing his sadness to show in his eyes.

Helga was stunned at him.

"This was a stupid idea, I have to go." Arnold suddenly said as he began walking towards the door briskly.

Helga's heart fell out of her butt now realizing she may never see him again, from the world he's from he could be dead the next time she sees him.

"Wait!" Helga yelled as she ran after him.

"You can't just leave, what about-" Helga was silenced by Arnold grabbing her hand harshly at first, then he let go gently.

Helga afraid to look into his eyes, now wanted to look in them.

Sadness, Death, Sorrow, Longing, Heartache and some type of emotion that only she saw in her own eyes whenever she would speak of Arnold...all mixed in one, Oh my god.

She now realized that it didn't matter what he had been through, however morbid or twisted he was...the good man she fell in love with is still there.

He then took his thumb and caressed her face lightly, very lovingly.

"Thank you, Helga. But its just too late for me, I'm glad I got to see you once more." Arnold said about to let go but was stopped by Helga grabbing the end of his shirt.

"Dammit stupid football head! Do you even know why I wrote about you in my novel? Do you even know why I want you next to me? Do you even know why I don't care about any of that stuff? Do you know what I've been trying to hide from you for 24 long years, and you really want to know why I left?" Helga now realizing that if he leaves now, she may never see him ever again. He may not live for much longer, and now she understands.

Tears were streaming down her face, and Arnold stood listening to her. She looked back up at him

"Its because I love you stupid." Helga said finally to him, so matter of factly and genuinely.

Arnold was taken aback, all those years she was in love with him? How? Why?

"All those times I snuck into your house when I was younger was because somehow either my poetry book, or my locket got in your house, or being high off of laughing gas and I told you on your answering machine...each time I told you. I fell in love with you, and have been in love with you since we were tiny tots. You showed me warmth, compassion, and love when no one in the world noticed me. Yet, I could not get the courage to tell you. The whole reason I left was because I saw you making out with one of your girlfriends at the time, and I was so heartbroken and shattered I had to be away from you. I couldn't take it anymore...and I'm so sorry, had I been there you never would have gone through what you did-Arnold, I love you, and I have my whole life." Helga admitted to him finally, as she fell to her knees.

Arnold held her to help her back up.

"All that time huh?" Arnold said completely baffled, and really really happy. For once in his life, someone cared for him and loved him as he was not for something he was trying to be.

"Helga..." Arnold said now cupping her chin and forcing her to look at him.

"From the moment I saw you staring at me in the coffee shop I already knew who you were...and ever since then I couldn't stop thinking about you either." Arnold said smiling warmly at her, and allowing his emotions to show. Warm, loving, and caring.

"You don't mean it, your just saying it because I am." Helga said now utterly embarrassed.

Arnold resumed his devilish smirk.

"Would I do something like this, if you haven't been on my mind lately?" Arnold said, as he pressed his lips against hers.

His lips were so soft, and warm. These were not the same lips she kissed when she was a little girl. His lips were a bit more fuller and juicier. There kiss deepened as Helga's tongue met his. Arnold growled a low yearning growl for her, as he bit her bottom lip not too hard but just enough to be considered playful. Helga ended there kiss rather abruptly and suddenly as she pushed him away from her. She was panting heavily, and he took short small breaths as well. However he still remained collected.

"Judging from that, you've been wanting to do that for a very long time" Arnold said to her, his voice in a husky low growl.

Helga merely gave him a look that said it all.

"You have no idea" Helga replied to him, with desperation in her voice.

Arnold decided to step back from her and regather himself.

Helga was now curious to know what he was thinking, it was usually really hard to tell.

"Arnold, what are you thinking about?" Helga asked curious, still a bit wide eyed at there kiss they just shared.

He looked at her, with desire, and lust...and that look of longing, and...love. His lips played into a devilish smile slowly at one corner.

"You really...don't want to know" Arnold began to say, his eyes sparkling brighter than usual.

"Crimeny whats it going to take to get you to tell me?" Helga stupidly said, then quickly slammed her hand over her mouth now realizing what she had said.

"I'll save you the embarrassment, Ms. Pataki. I was thinking how damned sexy you would look laying naked in the living room sprawled out, open, wet, and wanting me inside of you, does that answer your question or should I continue?" Arnold said his grin evil that was damn charming and a raised eyebrow, it made her legs weak and her insides were like jello.

She flushed a bright red. She was too ashamed to say anything else. So she decided to change the subject.

"So, you intend to keep your promise to me or what?" Helga said hoping her changing the subject ploy would work.

He could not wipe that devilish grin from his face.

"Changing the subject, at least for you it is a good thing you decided to. Yes, Helga I intend to keep my promise to you. However, will you be compensating me? & I'm assuming my living situation will have changed as well correct?" He said to her, still holding the same grin.

"Shrewd business man, I think I like it." Helga replied smiling confidently.

He returned an equally confident smile.

"Well?" Arnold began implying.

"I'll write out a contract, and have you sign it later this evening. I will be employing your services as body guard. However this is one more thing I need to ask you to make sure your ready for" Helga said stopping and looking at him.

He was listening intently.

"You will constantly be surrounded by fake people, not very many of them are real and all are out to stab you in the back. Are you ready to commit to that?" Helga said to Arnold looking at him.

Arnold walked closer to her, and slowly and seductively placed his lips by her ear.

"Your preaching to the choir sweetheart." Arnold said, as he quickly nibbled her ear.

Arnold began walking towards the door, somehow Helga knew he went to go get his things which was odd.

Neither of them said this to each other.

"Don't come complaining to me when you realize I'm right!" Helga yelled after him, and in a few moments, he was gone.

"He'll be back" Helga said snorting at the door before walking upstairs to go bathe and get dressed in something else, and now find a way to draw up the papers.

- End Of Chapter 7