A/N
Hey guys, here is Chapter 7, and yes thank you the ear ache is gone. I know I didn't quite manage to update this within one week of Chapter 6, but apparently I make horrible life decisions :P Please read and review.
Chapter 7
She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
Alex got comfortable on the couch while she waited for Piper, it was after 7 pm and she felt exhausted. She started to doze off when her phone went off, it was a text message from Piper. She was on her way back to the apartment and had picked up dinner for both of them. Alex got up to unlock the front door and lay back down on the couch, pulling a blanket over herself as she closed her eyes. She had never been very good at thinking ahead, that always seemed to lead to disappointment. Expecting too much from life, or letting herself want something too badly, it always seemed to end with her getting hurt. From her real father, to anyone Diane brought home, to even not wanting to eat dinner alone when she was growing up. So she learned to live in the moment, and lower her expectations about life. But she couldn't stop her mind wandering when it came to Piper, her mind always wandered to the blonde. All Alex knew was that she wanted more time with her, she would figure out a way to work things out with Fahri. She did not want to encourage Piper to buy more heroin, and to be honest she didn't want her to go back to Jack, at any point.
She'd help her find another place to live, help her get a job, it didn't matter. It had been a long time since Alex felt so strongly about anyone in her life, aside from Diane. It was scary, but there was no stopping it.
But she also didn't want to overstep the mark and scare Piper away, her life was hard enough at the moment. It all felt crazy, they'd only known each other for a few weeks, but Alex still wanted her. She closed her eyes and let her head hit the pillow, thinking about Piper as she let her mind drift off to sleep.
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Piper was about to knock on Alex's front door when she realised it wasn't locked. She let herself into the apartment, carrying a bag of Thai food she picked up around the corner. She walked into the kitchen to put down the food and then noticed Alex asleep on the couch. She hadn't stirred at all, having wrapped herself up tightly in a blanket.
Piper walked into the lounge room and knelt down next to the couch, just watching Alex while she slept. She leant in and kissed the brunette on the lips, wanting to wake her up in the gentlest way possible. "Alex, I'm back, are you hungry?"
Piper kept looking at Alex, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She looked like she wanted to keep sleeping, like there was no way she'd let go of that blanket, "Mmmhh, you taste like coffee."
Piper smiled into Alex's lips, "I went and had coffee and cake when I left, did some thinking."
Alex finally opened her eyes properly, looking back at Piper, "What were you thinking about?"
"Just how crazy the last few weeks have been." Piper felt Alex's hand on her cheek, pulling her back in for another kiss, but this one was longer. Piper could almost feel Alex trying to convey her emotions in that kiss, pulling her in inch by inch.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, smells good." Piper held out her hands and helped Alex get up from the couch, leading her into the kitchen.
Alex got out the plates and cutlery, while Piper put the food on the table, along with a couple of beers. They sat across from each other at the kitchen table, eating mostly in silence, but it wasn't awkward. It wasn't like the dinner's Piper had with Jack lately, where the silence was tinged with an underlying anger. This was different, it was a comfortable silence. But Piper wanted to get something off her chest, "My mind is a mess at the moment, I can't think straight. I don't know how to fix my life."
"Don't think of it like that Piper, step one is just looking after yourself for a while, then worry about everyone else."
Piper took a deep breath, before saying what she really wanted, "Do you have any needles?"
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Alex locked her eyes onto Piper's as soon as she heard that question, it is not what she wanted to hear, "No Piper, you can't do it every day, no matter how much you want it. If you inject every day….it'll get messy okay. Just call me instead."
Alex felt an unfamiliar burning in the pit of her stomach. She'd never had to witness the impact her job had on people, now it was staring her in the face. Sure, do it once in a while, but keep control of the situation. In front of her was someone that was hurting, that had almost no control over their life. Right now heroin made it all better, and Alex introduced her to that without a second thought.
"I'm not gonna call you every time I'm having a bad day Alex."
"Why not?" Alex kept her eyes on the other woman, who just kept staring at her food.
"Don't take this the wrong way but I don't think you're a very good drug dealer." Piper finally looked back up with a smirk across her lips, Alex couldn't help but laugh.
Alex's laughter was cut short when Piper's phone started to ring, it was Jack, "Don't answer it." Alex's heart felt heavy for the woman in front of her, Piper's eyes filled with tears as she looked at her phone.
"What am I meant to do? I can't ignore him forever Alex. Our lives are still connected. Fuck, I don't know what to do!" Piper stood up abruptly and started pacing around the kitchen, Alex got up slowly and tried to stop her. Words seemed useless at the moment, so Alex pulled Piper into a hug and gently rubbed her back.
"Please just try and look after yourself Pipes, then worry about the rest." Alex kept rubbing circles on the blonde's back, she didn't know what else to do. "It hasn't even been a day since your last fight, you need to take some time. We can do whatever you want, just tell me what you need."
Alex could feel Piper's tears hit her shoulder as she started to quietly sob, clutching onto Alex tighter. "It's okay, shhh, I've got you Piper. Tell you what, we are gonna get comfortable on the couch with a blanket, and watch horrible movies while we have a few drinks."
Alex could still feel Piper's sobs rip through her body, her voice barely above a whisper, "Please Alex, please, it's not enough." Piper was practically begging her for heroin, and Alex hated it. There was no way she was going to let Piper inject again so soon, but she thought maybe a small bump would help her get through the night. Alex led her to the bathroom, where she reached into the top drawer and pulled out a small glass vial. She took Piper's hand and emptied a small amount of the powder onto her thumb, "It won't hit you as hard this way but it'll still help." Alex watched as the blonde brought her thumb carefully up to her nose and inhaled the powder. She started coughing, and Alex handed her a glass of water.
Alex had her own bump while Piper finished drinking, and then pulled her into another hug. She felt Piper pull back before bringing their lips together for another kiss. Alex intertwined their fingers and led them back to the lounge room so they could sit on the couch. Alex let Piper lean into her chest, while Alex pulled the blanket over them. Alex lay down properly on the couch, and Piper kept her head on Alex's chest as she closed her eyes. All Alex wanted was to fall asleep in that exact position, with Piper resting against her.
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Piper slowly opened her eyes, she had no idea how long they'd been asleep on the couch for, all she knew was that they needed to go to bed. She kissed Alex softly on the lips in an attempt to wake her up. Alex eventually opened her eyes, and let Piper lead her to the bedroom, where they were soon asleep again, tangled in each other.
Sleep felt so much different to Piper on heroin, it almost felt like a haze, one that she couldn't bring herself to wake up from. They both slept in late the next day, with Piper insisting they got up when the clock hit midday. Just as she was about to suggest they go out for lunch, Alex's phone started ringing. Piper couldn't help but wonder who it was, she assumed it was probably one of her bosses. It was hard to not notice that whenever Alex's phone rang, she answered immediately. She didn't want to think about the reality of Alex's job, what it meant for her lifestyle and safety. Piper still didn't know what she was doing with Alex, or what she ultimately wanted to do about Jack.
Once Alex was off the phone, Piper was about to suggest getting lunch when Alex spoke first. Her face was a mix of emotions that Piper couldn't quite decipher. "That was my boss, the guy you spoke to, Fahri."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, my work schedule's just jumped around a bit. I was meant to be travelling overseas in a few weeks, but they've had to bring it forward, I need to leave tonight."
Piper felt her heart sink, she wasn't ready to be left alone, "Oh…" She didn't know what to say, at least she didn't want to say what she was really thinking. "But you're still in a lot of pain, you can't exactly move around properly yet."
Piper could see the concern on Alex's face as she walked towards Piper and grabbed her hands, "I'll be fine, nothing some pills won't fix, it's you I'm worried about. Look, it'll only be for a couple of weeks, but I still want you to stay here. I can leave you some money, and you can just stay. You'll be safe here, please promise me you'll stay here?"
"I….I don't know Alex." That was the truth, Piper didn't think she could just hide out in Alex's apartment for two weeks and completely ignore Jack the whole time. That would never work, but at the same time Piper didn't want to go back home yet, she wasn't ready. She didn't want to stay on her own, she wanted Alex to stay with her.
"This isn't negotiable Piper, you're staying here." Alex rushed off into her office and came back with a small black handbag. "There's some cash in here, use it while I'm gone. And here's a spare set of keys."
"Alex, you've already done so much, I can't take your money."
"Yeah, you can. My apartment will just be empty anyway, so you might as well stay. And you can pay me back the money one day if you're that worried about it."
Piper felt so grateful towards Alex in that moment, besides Nicky, this woman was helping her more than anyone else ever had. "Okay, I'll stay. Thank you Alex."
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Alex smiled back at Piper before going to her room to quickly pack a bag. She was still excited for the trip, but she really wished it hadn't been pushed forward. It's not like she had a choice either, Fahri called her and said she needed to go tonight and he had already booked the ticket. There was no arguing with him, no asking to delay it. In this world you do as you're told, and nothing goes wrong. Alex knew she wouldn't be able to get Piper out of her mind the whole time she was gone, she wasn't convinced that the blonde wouldn't go back to the house with Jack. But there was nothing she could do about that, all she could do was try and convince her to stay and hope for the best. Once she was relatively confident she'd packed everything she needed, she walked back to the kitchen to say goodbye to Piper.
"I'm really sorry Piper, but I have to leave now. I'm meeting Fahri first to pick up some stuff then heading straight to the airport. I'm gonna call you while I'm gone, just to make sure everything is okay." Alex ran her hand down Piper's arm, she looked so sad, which made Alex feel so much worse. She pulled the blonde into her for a hug, dreading the moment when she had to leave.
"Will you be okay?" Alex whispered into her ear while still hugging her tight.
Piper exhaled against Alex's shoulder, it sounded like she was trying to get rid of the weight of the world, "I'll be fine, I'll be here when you get back."
Alex pulled back, giving Piper one more look and a kiss on the cheek before grabbing her bag and leaving the apartment.
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Piper felt completely lost for the rest of the day, she didn't feel ready to be alone. She decided to do a couple more bumps and then fell asleep on the couch all afternoon. It was so much easier than being awake, she didn't want to think about waking up alone in Alex's apartment.
Late afternoon soon turned into evening when Piper was woken up by a knock at the front door. She was startled at first, she didn't really want to answer the door to one of Alex's bosses. She slowly got up from the couch and looked through the peep hole, instantly recognising the woman on the other side. She straightened out her hair before opening the door.
"Hi Diane."
The older woman smiled at her as she stepped into the apartment, "Hi, Piper right?"
"Yeah. Alex isn't actually here, she ended up needing to travel for work."
"Oh, was everything okay?"
"I think so, I didn't really get all the details." The two women shared a knowing look, Diane tried to not pry into Alex's work life, but the added element of overseas travel was making her nervous.
"Alex never has been good with giving people the details. I told her yesterday that I'd come over tonight for dinner."
Something inside Piper told her to not let this woman walk out of the apartment. She was clearly rattled by Alex not telling her she was going overseas, and was now standing in her daughter's apartment with a complete stranger.
"Why don't you stay and we can have dinner?"
Diane seemed to contemplate the offer before responding, "Sure kid, why not."
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After they'd ordered food from a Greek restaurant around the corner, Diane decided to try and spark up the conversation. Piper looked like a nervous mess, and Diane wanted to put her at ease, "So you're staying here while Alex is gone?"
Piper kept intertwining her own fingers as she spoke, "Yeah, she wouldn't take no for an answer."
"That sounds like Alex."
"Your daughter has done so much for me, she's an amazing person."
Diane could tell that Piper was being completely sincere, it seemed that Alex had struck a chord with this young woman.
"You and Alex seem very close."
Diane thought about that for a moment, all they'd had for so long was each other. But at least when Alex was growing up, Diane could keep an eye on her, make sure she was safe. They were still close but it wasn't the same, and Diane worried a lot more. It was almost as though they'd switched roles somewhere along the way. When she was younger and still living with Diane, Alex spent a lot of time worrying about her mother. Diane still felt guilty about some of the things that happened, she felt like some of those things left behind permanent marks on her daughter, marks that led her to the cartel. But every time Diane tried to talk about it, Alex shut her down.
Diane looked at the young woman in front of her, feeling like Alex wanted to protect Piper in ways she could never protect Diane.
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Alex was exhausted after one week in Indonesia, it was more intense than she was expecting. It was a lucrative market but also a dangerous one, meaning she had to take extra care with everything she did. Even though it was tiring, she still enjoyed it, she was determined to prove she was good enough. She'd spoken to Piper once in her first week away, but she was still worried about how the blonde was coping. During their one conversation, Piper insisted she was fine, and still staying at Alex's apartment.
Alex had also spoken to Diane, but she ended up spending most of the conversation trying to convince Diane she was okay. She was also surprised when Diane asked her about Piper, "How is Piper coping with you being away?"
"Well, she tells me she's doing okay, I guess I'll just have to take her word for it."
"I can check on her if it'll make you feel better Alex."
Alex wasn't sure what to say. Part of her wanted to say yes, because it would make her feel a lot better to hear Diane's opinion on how Piper was doing. But she also didn't want to drag her mother into the situation. She didn't want Diane to feel obligated to do things like that every time she travelled, and she didn't want to drag up bad memories. She didn't realise how long she'd been silent before she heard Diane's voice again, "It's okay sweetie, I can check on her."
Alex sighed into the phone, she was getting so frustrated with herself. All of these feelings she'd managed to bury so long ago were surfacing again, and she hated it.
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After Alex had been away for two weeks, Diane went to the apartment to check on Piper. She knocked first, but after waiting a few minutes there was no answer. After knocking again there was still no answer. She looked through her handbag until she found the spare keys Alex gave her when she first moved in. Diane walked into the apartment, trying to keep her nerves under control as she looked for Piper.
