Chapter 7: The Truth

Then there came the nightmares.

The dreams were as bad as the real thing. Every night with my new friends I woke up screaming, panting, and having six pairs of eyes staring at me through the darkness. It was rather embarrassing trying to come up with excuses for my painful screams in the middle of the night and it took a longer time to feel like I hadn't become a burden to them. InuYasha wasn't much help with that. He would engage me in brutal arguments when all I truly wanted to do was to go back to sleep and apologize. He never let me get on with my business and I lost a lot more sleep then I should have with him always ready to pounce.

I was always running through the forest, nighttime darkness closing all around. I was running, but never could get very far. I didn't know what to do. I would stumble over my ankles and nearly fall, the fall lasted forever. But when I picked my head up, I would see the burning remains of my village and I would hear the triumphant calls of the bandits. Then pain would come again in my chest and blind me. I'd heave over, gasping violently for the air to enter, but it was no use. *He'll never stop* Were always my last thoughts when the eyes would burn through the black, just a wispy effect until they became as focused as the real thing. I'd try to turn and run, but the forest didn't have an end.

The first few mornings after my episodes, Kagome and Sango would console me and try to discover what the matter was, but I didn't want them to know what Naraku had tried to do or what he actually accomplished. I just told them it was the murderous way Naraku dealt with things. It wasn't exactly a lie, since he did hurt me, but it wasn't entirely the truth after only being with him for one night. But once I remember Sango had sat back afterwards and ask if I knew anything about another human formally under Naraku's control, Kohaku was his name. I told her I was there for one night and didn't see anyone other than Adder and Naraku himself.

Little did I know that this boy, Kohaku, was her brother.

Whatever they thought, they would nod and leave me to the day where I would ponder the solutions to my problems. I was naturally worried about Serena, if you forgot about her I understand. I didn't expect her to be in any of these forests. I couldn't explain what made me believe that, but I had a feeling, a suspicion more so, that Naraku moved me way off course and finding InuYasha was a coincidence of the greatest luck. I was now just trying to remember the way back to his castle. This was the only thing keeping me in good graces with InuYasha. I could care less where Naraku was, but I wanted to help Adder and InuYasha seemed so determined to kill Naraku that I just couldn't refuse to go back. I had to avenge Adder! One way or another Adder would be avenged or freed. I had promised just that and I wasn't going to back out of that commitment simply because the time had presented itself faster than I would have thought.

"Are you sure you know which way his castle is?" InuYasha asked. He was really starting to press his luck with me.

"I've told you everyday that I don't know! He can move his location as he pleases and probably did just that. I think we are just following a false trail."

"Well, that doesn't matter. We have a slave of his. He should show up to get you." InuYasha was teasing, but I had that same feeling somewhere in my gut. Now, why would I kill you after all the trouble I went to bring you here? He had said it himself. He wouldn't give up in a flash after all the trouble he indeed had gone to. It was just a matter of time like everything else had been.

"Don't be such a brute, InuYasha! She is just trying to do what you want her to do. She's trying her best." Kagome came to my defense.

"Well, her best isn't getting us anywhere," he replied.

"Like I said, we're following a false trail. You can sense him better than I, so why don't you pick up his scent and we'll grow impatient when you can't deliver Naraku." I was angry and he wasn't helping with my concentration, little good that would do us.

Sango placed her hand on my shoulder and I slowed my pace a bit to walk beside her.

"Why does InuYasha have to jump on everything I do?" I asked her in a whispered tone.

"That's how he always is. Don't let it bother you."

"But you must know how Naraku works, at least a bit? He's not easily found and InuYasha thinks, just because I remember the way, we'll be able to find and kill him?"

"He's just overly anxious to finally kill Naraku. I think it is aggravating him that he can't sense Naraku anymore and he is just taking it out on you. Please don't let it get to you."

"Well, that seems fair," I responded sarcastically.

Sango smiled sweetly, "That's how it usually works. Don't worry; he's a lot nicer than Naraku." We walked in silence for awhile more. Kagome was daydreaming; searching the sky like I used to do and Shippo was walking alongside Kirara as Miroku was on the opposite side of Sango, behaving himself.

"Sango?" I finally asked after many moments past.

"Yes, Lin?"

"Do you think Naraku will try and find me?"

Sango looked surprised and sighed. I didn't want her to be troubled, but I had grown close to her even if it was Kagome who came to me more. We had a kinship, a bond that I couldn't quite explain, but it was there.

"I honestly can't answer that. I don't know the whole story because you won't tell us."

I was taken aback. I nearly stopped walking all together, but I wanted to continue my conversation with Sango. "What do you mean by that? I did tell you everything I knew."

"Kagome and I don't think you have. The way you scream at night and how you plead with your dreams, that odd scar on your chest. What did he do to you? You said how murderously he dealt with 'things'. What were these 'things', Lin?"

"I-I wanted to tell you, but it's embarrassing. No, that's not the right word. It's just not what you would…think."

"You could tell us. We would all like to know what the circumstances are."

"And I would like to tell you." I looked around at the faces that surrounded, first to InuYasha and then to Miroku and Shippo. "Just not in front of InuYasha or Miroku."

I anticipated Sango to be suspicious and she had a right to be. I didn't want the boys to hear what REALLY happened at the castle and I certainly didn't want InuYasha there for obvious reasons. Sango, though, just nodded. She agreed? She agreed!

"Tell me and Kagome tonight if you want."

"Yes!" I didn't know why I was so excited to get the truth out, but it left me refreshed to feel a weight lift a little off my chest. Figuratively speaking, of course.

The day of traveling was exhausting. I was yelled at more, Kagome's tolerance broke and she punished InuYasha the only way she could. It made me laugh to see him, face down, in the mud. Miroku's streak was shattered and he too was punished with a red mark across his face. It was nice to see I wasn't the only one who had to deal with these boys all day long. InuYasha forgot to harass me and went after Kagome (after the oswari incident). Miroku tried to make amends with Sango and I was left to my hobby of daydreaming, mostly about Sesshomaru and Rin. I couldn't wait to see how they reacted when I came back.

Then something hit me. They didn't know I was kidnapped. Rin would think herself abandoned; Jaken would hate me for making Rin upset all the time, and Sesshomaru… What would Sesshomaru think? Surely he'd be able to find Naraku's scent. Surely he could put my disappearance to that scent? And what of Serena? I didn't ask Adder about Serena. Naraku could have found her, knowing of her special abilities. He could have killed her! I pushed that thought out of my mind. Serena could fend for herself, but Rin! He said he had ways to make me do as he wished. He could take Rin from Sesshomaru, from me! God! Why did he have to know so much about me? Why didn't I ask more questions?!

I was sick with worry by the time night fell and both girls came to me for my promised account. Why had I pushed my mind to such gruesome thoughts?

"Are you ready, Lin?" Sango asked and Kagome attempted to act informed beyond what Sango had told her.

"I guess." My enthusiasm was nonexistent.

We began to walk a ways from the campsite when InuYasha's voice broke through the night's song. "Hey, where are you guys going?"

"Girl talk!" Kagome shouted.

"Don't go too far, keep in sight!" Miroku called.

"Can do!" I said.

"Can I come?" Shippo's voice cried out.

"Girl talk, Shippo!" Kagome clarified. "No boys."

Shippo sank back down with the rest of the males and the three of us sat down in a nearby grassy patch. The sun wasn't fully set, but it was dark enough that details were skewed in vision.

"Well, here we are. You want to enlighten us, Lin?" Sango asked.

"I guess now is as good a time as any."

I sighed and both girls leaned into me to better hear every word as I was preparing to give all the details.

"I wasn't there for his type of slave work or maybe I was, I don't really know much about him rather than what I was told." I clumsily began my account, but the conversation wasn't going smoothly and they both sat straight clearly disappointed with my beginning sentence.

"But I suppose you should know that I was with Sesshomaru before Naraku kidnapped me." They both gasped loudly and I stopped. Looking from one face to the other, they didn't say anything so I continued. "I had saved Rin, out of sheer dumb luck, and he allowed me to follow him. Rin was replaced by an illusion done by one of Naraku's demons, or something like that, when the real one went following another illusion in the form of a rabbit." They seemed to know what I was talking about when I mentioned the illusions and I was glad. I still wasn't entirely sure myself what all this meant.

"So the fake Rin asked me to kill a deer for dinner," They both looked at each other in confusion. "I had always asked her if she wanted one because it was my favorite." Sango and Kagome appeared to understand and stared at me to continue.

"So, in the forest, I didn't find anything so I began to sing while resting. A deer liked it and appeared. I kept singing until it eventually came close enough for me to kill it and when I did, I stripped it for our meal and began walking back. And that's when I saw Naraku in the forest, although he was a stranger at the time. He asked me to come with him but I ran. Then there was this smog all around me." I raised my hands about. "I couldn't breathe and I fell to the floor. Then, the next thing I knew I was in a strange room with an even stranger guard who told me all about the fake Rin and how Naraku wanted me….but I don't exactly know for what."

I paused to take a few breaths before I added:

"It was this whole elaborate plan that Naraku had created to get to me. It meant he had known me longer than I knew him, which is scary if you think about it. And also means that he has some use for me that I'm still unaware of."

"Dear me," Kagome breathed. "Is that all?"

"I wish."

"Then please go on," Sango said in a small voice.

"Well, Naraku wanted me to come to him in his room. So Adder was scent to escort me. I like Adder because he was just being controlled or manipulated by Naraku. He's really a decent person and we really did have things in common. But, being the girl I am, I declined the command and Adder paid the price—in pain. I agreed to go with him and the pain stopped enough for him to take me to Naraku. That's when it got uncomfortable."

I looked from Sango and Kagome.

"He played these odd 'do what I say and Rin won't die' games on me. I had to kiss him but it seemed he had other things on his mind…like a plan he wouldn't divulge me in. I tried to run, but he threw me into a wall, undressed me, and had disfigured my shoulder when Adder interrupted us, thank God."

Even with the diminishing light I could the whites of their eyes. (Wide with fright from what I was telling them). I couldn't see why not.

"Adder planted a story about InuYasha, like I told you. I know now that Naraku didn't believe him, but decided to leave me to see how far it would go, I think. Like a test. He made a point to demand me to stay and left. Adder mouthed 'run' to me and that's what I did."

There was nothing but silence from both parties.

"The end," I stated after some time.

It came all of a sudden. Kagome nearly flung me over with the force of her hug and she held my head into her shoulder.

"Don't you want to cry?" I don't know exactly if that was meant for me or Sango. It could have been rhetorical for all I know.

"I've done my fair share of that, yes." I patted her on the back because she was more moved with my recount then I actually was.

"I can't believe he would…Why? I've never known him to…" Sango couldn't spit out a proper sentence or question. "Why?"

I pulled away from Kagome, having a bad experience with being embraced and all.

"It's okay I'm fine."

"You obviously aren't if your dreams keep you up, screaming like that." Sango said.

"More like nightmares," Kagome corrected.

"I just want Rin to be safe," I stated without much thought to why I had said it.

"Oh, Sesshomaru!" Kagome squealed.

"Yeah, I need to talk with him. Rin won't know where I've gone. She could be in danger." Tears were welling in my eyes, I could feel them. I didn't want them there so I brushed my fingers across my eyelashes.

"InuYasha won't like that and Sesshomaru might not want you back after you were with his half-brother."

"I thought the same thing. He probably thought I ditched Rin as well. Man! Naraku sure did screw this up!"

"That's what he does, Lin." Sango was standing up now and I followed suit. Kagome got up as well and walked in front of us, out of earshot.

"Sango, now that I've told you what really happened what about the question I asked you before? About Naraku…coming for me…"

"I think so," Sango answered without a seconds hesitation. "I can't be sure, but, by the way it sounds, I think you're in a lot more trouble than just another slave of his. I don't know what he has planned for you, but what he's done…he had a purpose for it. I'm sure of it."

That's not what I wanted to hear.

"I don't want to belong to him. I don't want that even planted into his mind." I whispered.

"I'm sorry. The best thing we can hope for is to run into Sesshomaru, so that you can explain to him what happened. If he even cares, that is."

"What do you mean, if he even cares?" I knew what that meant, but hearing it from someone else was insulting.

"Sesshomaru doesn't like humans. I don't know why Rin follows him, but it seems like you were there to watch Rin. Give her something like herself. From what I've heard she liked you and when you left it probably hurt her severely. Sesshomaru might not take you back for that reason alone. Then showing up smelling of either InuYasha or Naraku it doesn't sound good."

"You aren't telling me anything I didn't already know or think about. But I have to try. I love Rin. I need to tell Sesshomaru what happened or at least what to look out for."

"I understand. It's hard to see someone you love being threatened, no matter who does it." I assumed she meant Kohaku. I wished I had known about him.

"Thanks for listening. I hope you guys aren't too burdened."

"Not at all, just keep that Sesshomaru thing to yourself."

"I wouldn't dream otherwise."

We settled down into the group. Miroku and InuYasha waited for us to answer their questions, but both Sango and Kagome stayed true and didn't let one word of the conversation leak out. I was grateful that I wasn't to be even more humiliated and then I realized I hadn't told them about the scar. How I got it. I thought it could wait because that was the most agonizing part and it wouldn't make much difference to leave out a little bit. They didn't know where the scar came from and I didn't exactly know what it could do, other than cause pain. I know it was foolish of me to leave it out, but I wasn't ready to recall that detail. I wanted to live in denial as long as I could. Whatever stopped the tears from coming was the best scenario for me. I went to sleep and I didn't have the dream, in fact, my sleep was dreamless. I slept the whole night through; keeping my mind off other things had paid off. I was happy to say I beat the tough times, but then I'd be lying. No, it wasn't so. I would again feel the harsh reality of those dreams, the sting of his eyes forever seared to the back of my eyelids, and the eternal questioning of whether I would be accepted back into my family again. Where would my life lead? Where would I be left? Hopefully not in pain, but I knew that was wrong.

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