"Seishirou…" Shin hesitated a moment, unsure of how to begin.
Seishirou started for him, "You know my name, but do you know who I am?"
Shin couldn't answer that question. Deep down he felt like he knew everything about this man, but for some reason he just couldn't trust that. Instead he decided to just jump into the reason he had felt compelled to come all the way here. "I had a dream…we fought on a bridge in Tokyo…at the time I didn't realize that is where we were, but I did a little research…and I found out where you were killed. Suba…no…I killed you…I put my hand through your chest." Shin took a step forward and he realized just how hard it was to say these words. "As you were dying in my arms…you whispered some words to me…" Shin choked a little, "I have to know…did you mean the words you said to me as you died?"
Seishirou tilted his head a little and studied the boy in front of him. He smirked slightly. "What do you think?"
"Tell me!" There was anger and desperation in his voice as he shouted. Shin was slowly losing himself as Subaru surfaced from deep inside him. He rushed forward and stood just before the man who he had longed to belong to as a lover for two lifetimes. "Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" His body trembled as he stood there; almost afraid of what Seishirou would say to him.
The smirk faded into a small sincere smile, "Of course I did."
This was all it took for Subaru to completely emerge and immediately break down. Tears poured from his eyes and he banged his fist against Seishirou's chest gently. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted downward, unable to look at the man he had loved so deeply and had felt so betrayed by all his life. "Why did you wait and say it then?" Subaru's voice was barely audible as he whimpered pitifully, "For so long I wanted to hear those words…longed for it…only to be denied over and over again. Why? Why did you say it then? Why did you torture me like that?"
Seishirou reached out and wrapped his arms around the small teenager's body, pulling him closer. Subaru put his forehead against Seishirou's chest and continued to cry. "Because I knew it was what you needed to hear," Seishirou said simply, almost carelessly. This answer only made Subaru angrier.
"No…not then…It only made losing you harder…" Subaru chocked and buried his face in Seishirou's chest. This was the first time he could remember when Seishirou had actually held him. It felt good to finally be in his arms. He still didn't trust the words that Seishirou had said back then and he knew it.
Seishirou knew he had to try and make the boy believe him before he could do anything else. "Subaru, when I killed my mother she told me one thing that stayed with me. She said that I would be killed by the one I loved most. That is the way of the Sakurazukamori. I killed her…I was her beloved son…and then you killed me. You were the only one who had ever made me feel anything."
"Seishirou…" The name was mumbled almost miserably into his chest.
"The past no longer matters. I'm here with you now. What you lost is in the past. I'm alive, I'm not longer the Sakurazukamori and I still love you."
The words came so easily out of Seishirou's mouth that Subaru almost didn't believe that he had heard them. "You never say what I expect you to…"
"You wouldn't love me if I did." Seishirou smiled and stroked Subaru's hair gently. He was shocked when the boy shook his head. "Don't you love me?"
"I don't know you," Shin was still battling with himself, not wanting to lose sight of who he was completely.
Seishirou reached up and tilted Shin's head upwards so that he could look into his eyes, "Did you love me?" Although his own eyes were hidden behind the dark sunglasses, he was staring straight into the bright green orbs of the boy in his arms. He needed to know the truth as much as Subaru had needed it a quarter century before.
Shin thought about this a moment, trying to understand all the feelings that were rushing around inside of him, "It feels like I loved you more then life."
"Then you need to go only by that," Seishirou was determined to win this fight. He had spent the last ten years of his life waiting for this boy to grow up so that he might awaken and Seishirou could once again be a part of Subaru's life. He was not about to give up.
"But I'm not Subaru…" Shin knew this was a lie but he had to keep telling himself that in order to keep perspective on the situation. Losing control of himself was just what this man wanted, and he wasn't about to give in to that so easily.
"Yes you are. And in time you will accept that..." Seishirou continued to hold the boy, lowering his face to nuzzle his ear a little, "…and me." He whispered this almost seductively. It sent a shiver down Shin spine and realized for the first time just how much his body was responding to the man. Every fiber of his being desired to be touched and held and caressed by this man, and this frightened Shin. Never before had he felt such a strong attraction, especially to someone he didn't even know.
"It hurts…" Shin's voice was hoarse as he tried to control his emotions as well.
"Remembering old pain always does," Seishirou's lips brushed across Shin's ears and then across his cheek. Shin closed his eyes and held his breath a little as he felt a tenderness he never would have expected to get from this man.
"I loved you so much…" this was barely a whisper but Seishirou heard it and it brought a bigger smile to his face. Subaru was there, desperately trying to free himself from the shell that he occupied; it would only take a little more convincing before he would once again have his boy.
"I know." Seishirou brushed his lips across Subaru's and he heard the boy's breath catch in his throat. He knew he was driving the boy's body absolutely insane and he loved the whole thought of it. His free hand gently rubbed Subaru's back very slowly, almost encouraging him to get even closer.
"Is this a second chance? Are we so lucky?" Subaru's voice was breathless and Seishirou wondered when the boy would realize that they were being very affectionate in public. It pleased Seishirou a great deal, but he knew it would embarrass poor Subaru straight to his very core.
"I like to think so…why else would we be here?"
"I think I love you…"
"I know I do…"
"That makes me surprisingly happy…" Shin closed his eyes and laid his head against Seishirou's chest again. He was slowly gaining control again, but knew the only way to keep it that way was to try and stop the teasing that the man who held him was taking such pleasure in. As much as he hated to stop it himself, he couldn't afford to lose sight of who he was, not yet anyway.
"I'm glad."
"You won't leave me ever again right? Promise?" For some reason Shin knew that this promise was the one thing in the world he needed to hear more then anything else. Subaru needed to be reassured that no matter how long it took, Seishirou would be there for him when he was released and able to finally be together with him.
"I don't plan to." Seishirou closed his eyes and gave the boy a reassuring squeeze. He had never shown such compassion to any human in his life, in either life really. He just needed to at this point, knowing that he couldn't risk losing Subaru again.
"I'm so confused…" Shin said, bringing his hands to his head and starting to back away from Seishirou. "I feel all these things…and yet they aren't really my feelings…they are someone else's and yet, they feel so right."
"I know."
This simple answer almost made Shin lash out angrily at Seishirou. He needed some sign that things were going to be okay and that this wasn't some cruel trick that was being played on him. He needed to be reassured that all the things Seishirou had said were the truth. Before he could say anything though, Seishirou continued.
"Do you know why I chose this spot for us to meet?"
"I've always loved cherry blossoms…" Shin looked up and then around at the beautiful scenery. "The trees…they were your trademark…"
"Do you remember what I told you about them?" Seishirou was pressing him to remember. He had an opening and he was going to push right through it and pull everything he could from inside of it, out.
Shin turned his back to Seishirou and his eyes closed as the breeze came and blew the petals from the trees once again. He tried not to remember but the memories came anyway. He could almost recite what had been said so many years before in another lifetime. He refused to say them, so Seishirou did it for him.
Seishirou walked up behind him slowly, "They say a corpse is buried beneath every cherry tree…" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around Shin from behind. He reached down and took Shin's bare hands in his, holding them up. "We placed a bet beneath the trees…I lied to you back then Subaru…You won the bet, but I was too stubborn to give up."
Shin opened his eyes and looked down at his hands; the red stars glowed angrily up at him. He gaped down at them, "How…how is this possible? Those marks should be gone…"
"They are…that is just the surfacing of your memories. Subaru…we can correct the mistakes of before. Just come with me," Seishirou closed his fingers, intertwining them with Shins.
Another memory suddenly sprang up in Shin's mind, causing him to pull away and immediately look up into the glasses of the man before him. "Your eyes….I have to know…"
Seishirou smiled and reached up, pulling the glasses away. His eyes were closed for a moment and then he opened them slowly. Subaru was dismayed to find that one was a milky white color, just as it had been in the previous life.
"Its still blind…I.."
"It's not your fault. You no longer can blame yourself for this." Seishirou reached out and caressed Subaru's cheek tenderly.
"Then how…?"
"I underestimated an opponent one night. They got my eye, but that was the last thing they were able to do. You can never blame yourself for this eye ever again. I was destined to lose it, it seems," Seishirou was shocked when a lone tear trickled down Subaru's cheek. The boy reached up and touched the cheek beneath the blind eye, sorrow written on his face.
"What a sad destiny…if such things repeat themselves, does it mean we are doomed to die by each others hands?" Subaru didn't want to even think about such a thing, but he couldn't help the fears that were rising in him once again.
"That's why we are going to change our destiny from here on. We will be in control…but I need you with me to do that," Seishirou replaced the glasses over his eyes.
Subaru turned around again and leaned back against Seishirou, "I don't know if I can…I'm not the man you remember."
"You are more then I remember." Seishirou wrapped his arms around the boy again, taking his hands in his own and giving them a gentle squeeze.
"Seishirou…" Shin closed his eyes again and felt his body relax back against the man who held him.
"Yes Subaru?"
"I've missed you so much…"
--
Kaden was walking at a very brisk pace in the opposite direction of his car. He didn't care though since he had no intentions of leaving the park without Shin. He had decided he would give them half an hour to do whatever the hell they were planning on doing and then he was heading back and they were both going home.
"I never should have agreed to this…what was I thinking? As soon as I heard it was a guy I should have turned the car around…stupid Shin…stupid! You're too damn gullible for your own good!" Kaden kicked a rather large rock and watched as it rolled down the walkway and over the side into the water.
Kaden sighed and stopped walking. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched the other people walking around. They seemed to be enjoying the day and it only served to depress him more. Kaden started to walk again, head down and eyes just following the edge of the pathway. He didn't really care to see anyone or do anything except walk until his legs fell off.
He heard that same strange clock chime in the distance and realized that he had already been gone for half an hour. He lifted his head up and was just about to turn around and run full speed back, when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He took a few steps closer and then stopped, watching for a few seconds.
There should have been nothing out of the ordinary about a man tossing bird food to a few pigeons, but for some reason it just didn't seem right in Kaden's mind. There was something bothering him about the whole scene and he just couldn't place it.
A name suddenly came to him and he spoke it before even thinking whether he should or not. "Fuuma…" he said, quite clearly and loud enough for the man to hear.
The man lifted his head and immediately dropped all the birdseed he had been holding. He stood up slowly and Kaden raised an eyebrow as he watched the man's shocked expression. Kaden was still confused as to why he had even come up with such an odd name. Before he could think about it too much, the man spoke and it was very clearly aimed towards him.
"Kamui…?"
--
Seishirou had started to lead Shin away from the park and towards a black car that was parked at the curb when suddenly Shin remembered how he had gotten there in the first place. "Kaden! I have to call him and tell him where I am going!"
Seishirou stopped and turned to look at him, he was smirking, "I don't think you need to worry about that."
Shin gave him a confused look, "Why?"
"I arranged a little meeting with an old friend of his." Seishirou started towards the car again.
Shin hurried after him, "Who? How do you know Kaden?"
Seishirou stopped again and turned to face Shin. "I don't…but he does."
Shin was growing more confused by the moment, "Who?"
"Fuuma."
Shin couldn't remember the name but he shrugged and continued towards Seishirou's car. "How do you know he will find Fuuma?"
"Destiny brought us together didn't it?"
Shin had almost had enough talk of destiny and memories for one day. It was starting to make his head hurt and he wasn't sure how much more of this soul switching he could handle. He followed Seishirou to his car, casting one last look at the park behind him before climbing into the passenger seat.
--
