A/N: I'm here! With a new chapter! FINALLY. Someone please help motivate me to finish this semester. As always, thank you so much for being here! Eternally grateful for every kudo, comment, and review. Keep them coming. I have many plans for this fic, so stay tuned! Enjoy!
Alice POV
"I knew you would track me down eventually." I leaned against the hood of my car, arms crossed. In front of my extended legs, stood Bella. She shuffled around in front of me, hands in her pockets. She wouldn't meet my gaze, but I could tell from her eyes that she was tired. The usual braid in her hair was missing and she wouldn't stand still.
"You've been avoiding me," Bella stated softly, just loud enough for my vampire ears to latch onto the words. It wasn't really a question, but her voice curved up at the end. I mean, she wasn't wrong. Since the big reveal, I've been absent from school and even more absent from my phone. I knew that Bella was sorry. Yet here I was, churning in my spite.
"You are observant." I replied dryly. Around us, students were hustling to their cars. Everyone way too preoccupied with their own freedom to notice our tense conversation. Bella's shoulder jerk slightly, and her jaw bone clenched under her cheek. I cursed inwardly at how grouchy I sounded. Finally, she met my gaze and her green eyes burned.
"You're still mad at me?" Bella asked, letting the last bit of the sentence shake, her voice came out as nothing more than a whisper. Her lips puled into a tight line. I sighed and gestured for Bella to follow. We both climbed into my BMW and I carefully maneuvered us out of the parking lot, before taking off quickly down the road.
"I don't know that I'm actually mad at you," I began, letting one of my hands fall from the steering wheel to my lap, "I feel more angry with myself."
"Why?" Bella asked incredulously, whipping her head around to look at me.
"Try to understand Bells, I'm a vampire. I've been alive longer than any human on this planet. I can run faster than a bullet. I can break a tree in half with my fist. I eat mountain lions for dinner!" I raised my voice with each word, feeling some of my bitterness seep into each sentence. I kept my eyes focused out the windshield. "Yet somehow you managed to fool me! Keep me in the dark. You tricked me with your," I bit my tongue before the words came out.
"My what? Go ahead, say it." I knew Bella couldn't read my mind, but I felt so self conscious. Her eyes were on me, searching for the words that tittered behind my lips. I wanted so badly to tell her that I would lose myself in her pine forest eyes. Her lips let loose laughs so melodic, I swear i'm hypnotized everytime. I wanted to tell her that her lips were pulling my eyes down more often every day. "Alice?" I shook my head to clear these muddy thoughts.
"It doesn't matter. I know you had to keep yourself a secret. I have the same problem. I guess I needed time to get over myself." Bella was quiet, the visible gears turning in her head. She eventually sat back in her seat, and looked out the window. I've never been more grateful that she did not decide to pry further.
The car ride wasn't much longer after that. After a couple minutes, I gently pulled my car into the driveway of my house. Inside there was no noise. I strained my ears a little harder, but still there was no sound. All I could hear was the steady heartbeat of the girl sitting next to me. My family must be out hunting. I looked over at Bella and she was still gazing out the window.
"My family isn't home," I speculated, cutting the car engine off.
"I've really missed you Alice." Bella said tiredly, ignoring my sentence completely. She reached up and yanked a hand through her brown hair, pulling it over her shoulder.
"You do look terrible." Bella's eyes narrowed at me and she let out an angry huff.
"Yeah, well, I haven't been getting good sleep and I uh," She paused and visibly shook, turning her gaze down to her lap, "Haven't shifted in a few days. It's taking all my energy to keep it together." My expression fell and the linger of a frown tugged at my lips.
"You haven't shifted?" Bella shook her head. "Why?"
"I-," Bella paused to lick her lips, wetting the dehydrated cracks, "I feel like a monster. Like somehow you hated what I was." I let out a tiny gasp.
"Bella! Oh my god, no no no. I don't hate you." Instinctively, I reached out and took Bella's hands. I paused momentarily soaking up the feeling of contact. They were so warm. Under my granite skin, Bella's hands felt alive. I took my time tracing my thumb over the smooth skin. "You met me, covered in blood, mid hunt, literally thinking about eating you. If anyone is the monster, it is me; ten times over."
"Don't say that Alice. I know that your methods seem cruel, but you're intentions are good. You do what you do because you believe it is right. But me," Bella squeezed my hands timidly, "I'm just a wild animal." I scrunched up my face and let go of Bella's hands. With furious speed, I got out the car and was on the other side of the vehicle, draggin Bella out. I had an idea.
"Shift for me." I said sternly. Bella's cheeks darkened and she went to protest, but I pushed a finger briefly against her lips. "I wanna show you that your wrong. Please?"
Bella POV
I've seen Alice angry. I've seen Alice in scary vampire mode. I've even seen Alice be happy. However, as Alice pressed a soft, pale finger against my lips, I saw a new side of her. She looked vulnerable. Her eyes were transparent; windows with no curtains. I trusted this Alice.
"Alright," I whisper. Across the street from Alice's house were dense woods. I turned to face them, taking my time walking across the asphalt river in between. In my bones I could feel the burn of the shift skittering on the surface. In my chest, my wolf bounded back in forth in excited play, hardly able to restrain it's anticipation. I discarded my shoes quicker than I thought, unable to fight the beast in me. All it took was the scent of wood and dirt to get me going.
I ran several yards into the woods, feeling the shift pass over my arms and legs first, then my body. My clothes were long forgotten in the moving brush. I quickly looped back around to where I left Alice. I poked my furry head around a tree, and Alice was on her tiptoes, searching intently through the maze of trees. I suddenly felt that guilt wash over me again. You are just a mangy mutt. My tail curled under my legs and my ears pressed against my head. She doesn't want a stupid pet dog. I was conflicted. The human part of me felt frightened, but my wolf was so sure of Alice. I willed my body to move my legs, but instinct and fear kept trying to out stage each other.
"You know I can hear your out there, Bells." I mentally rolled my eyes, but her voice smoothed out the wrinkles in my confidence. I walked myself out of the trees and sat on the curb. I curiously tilted my head to the side, letting one of my ears droop down. Alice smiled sadly at me and walked over.
"I'm really sorry I've been distant," Alice spoke as she walked, fidgeting with her fingers, "It's just as I told you today. I was too proud to forgive you like I should have. I know you did nothing wrong." Alice knelt down on my level and placed her hands on either side of my head. At her touch my tail wagged. I let out a undistinguishable garble of sounds and Alice couldn't help but giggle at me.
"From the moment I met you I've felt connected to you somehow. I couldn't get enough of our time together. I care so much about you and I don't even know how that's possible," Alice laughed shyly and slid one of her hands under my snout and ran it down the fur of my chest. "You are a beautiful person and an even more beautiful animal. I want to know everything I can about you. You don't have to hide your true self from me. I'd be crazy to reject this part of you."
My wolf's pride swelled as Alice spoke highly of me. I yearned to voice my own care and admiration of Alice too, but my wolf had no voice. Churning in my veins was a warmth I've never known. It melted my bones, my willpower, and my walls. It traveled down my limbs and pooled in my fingers and toes. The intensity of this feeling was unbearable. Alice was still petting behind my ears when I couldn't take it anymore.
Seamless and much less painful than I was use too, my wolf form disappeared under my skin. Alice squeaked at my naked form and stood up, stepping back, away from the curb. I followed, catching her arm. Her eyes went wide in confusion, but I didn't pay much mind to them. My eyes were too focused on her lips.
I pulled Alice closer, pressing her body against mine. I cupped her face, gently curving my fingers under her ear and into her hair. A part of me was waiting for Alice to push me away but she never moved. Around us, the air felt electric; oversaturated with vibrating energy. My lips hovered mere centimeters above hers. I caught myself trembling, so unsure of myself. Alice groaned at something and then I heard it.
"You're family is coming," I said, but I didn't really hear the words come out. All my sense are so focused on Alice's black eyes and her tempting mouth.
"You gotta go, before they see you." Alice replied, but her voice came out hurried and stiff. I wanted to refute, but something in Alice's tone told me there wasn't any time. I pulled myself off the ground, grabbed my shoes and ran towards Alice's home. My wolf growled angrily at my resisting feet. They just kept running me away from what I really wanted.
I managed to get into Alice's home and breathlessly lock myself in one of the many bathrooms, falling limply against the door. I was dizzy with fervor, replaying the almost kiss over and over in my head. Until a crashing realization hit me. Jasper.
Alice has a fucking boyfriend. She is in a committed relationship! She once told me she loved him! I felt my happiness swirl down the drain, and the color fade from my face. Jasper would have been horrified to see what was going down just a minute ago. I would have ruined everything. My chest clenched painfully with each realization. What if she didn't even want me to kiss her? I didn't even stop to consider that maybe Alice isn't even into girls. I cursed into the empty bathroom, punching the floor.
I sat in the silence of my own thoughts for a little bit longer until the Cullens began trickling into the house. I couldn't escape now. I just needed to pretend like everything was ok and finally talk about my magic with everyone. I got up and walked over to the mirror and I had another realization. While I did forget I was naked, that was not what caught my eye in the reflective glass. My tattoo.
The small singular paw print I was use too was now a trail of prints. They climbed up my forearm and ended at the apex of my arm. They started out black, but as they wrapped around my elbow the color became more gold. In the center of the swirling paw prints, was a tree, full of leaves. It was also gold. I stared in awe at the art on my flesh, distracted. Then a knock came at the door.
"Bella? Are you ok in there?" It was Alice. I felt guilt well up in my throat, but I bit it back.
"Mostly I think. Any chance I could get some clothes though?" Alice whispered hush words to a male voice in the background.
"I'll have Esme bring you some, ok?"
"Thanks." I reply, turning my attention back to my new expanded tattoo. Oh boy. Tonight was going to be real interesting.
Jasper POV
"Alice? Are you okay, love?" I mumbled into Alice's head. She was currently wrapped up in my arms, her head nestled under my chin. She didn't respond. She just kept taking deep breaths, never stopping to look at me. "Alice?" I tried again.
"I'm alright," she finally breathed out, turning her face up to look at me. I leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Bella and I were talking about what happened. I haven't been talking to her much lately."
"I noticed as much."
"I had to explain my feelings. She didn't….take it well." I raised an eyebrow. Why did she hesitate? I removed my arms from around Alice and took her hand. We started making our way to the house.
"Bella did not like the discussion?" I inquired casually. Alice laughed softly and shook her head. I waited a little longer to see if she would explain further, but she did not. I pushed. "What happened to get you so worked up?"
We were outside the front door and Alice pulled her hand from mine. I stopped walking. Alice kept walking a few steps ahead of me. Before she pushed past the door, she faced me. I couldn't place the origin of Alice's discomfort and it disturbed me. For the first time in many, many years, I didn't know this Alice. Her eyes were gold, yet ashen. Her smile was tight and bittersweet. Her jaw was rigid and missing it's usual soft and tender shape. Her voice was firm.
"Don't worry about it." We stood silent. I didn't know what to say. "I need to go find Bella." With that, she left me standing on the porch. I scowled at nothing, feeling a bit useless. Alice has been acting weird since Bella showed up and I wasn't sure how to move around this subject. Above me, the gray clouds kept drifting by and the air kept it's crisp chill, never subsiding as the wind blew. The sun was masked and never peaking through. The atmosphere felt much like a tablecloth, hanging over the night.
"Jasper? Are you coming in? Bella is ready to talk." Carlisle called out. Was I ready? I doubt it.
