Right, short note for a short chapter, I don't know if I will be able to post tomorrow since my day goes from six am to around ten pm (bleh) so just letting you know that it might not happen. This chapter is sort of a glossing over of a summer's worth of boring things that happen, I did this intentionally because it should feel to the reader like Harry is growing up too fast. He's dealing with all these chaotic emotions right now and he believes he isn't supposed to be as affected as he is. Hope you like it!
Enjoy!
WARNINGS:
FIRST BOOK IS RATED M FOR MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF DESCRIPTIVE VIOLENCE
(MOSTLY BY BELLA)
THERE WILL BE A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP MENTIONED IN THE SECOND BOOK, NOT REALLY IN THIS ONE...
HARRY IS NOT A NICE PERSON
MENTIONS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL TORTURE
Mistress Slytherin
-7-
Mourning
Harry gazed down at Bella's pale slumbering face with a blank expression. They had agreed to make it sound as if she were suffering from curse damage from an unknown curse and there for would be isolated until which time they could undo the damage. No one would question it, and after Bella's stint in Germany no one would dare think otherwise lest they find themselves wrong and at the end of Bella's wand. The truth however was quite different. Voldemort had employed a team of six well reputed mind healers to take three and a half hour shifts to work on the damage done, it was a last ditch effort to save her sanity and Harry knew that the odds of it working were slim. If this didn't work than Bella would begin a regimen of mood stabling potions and compulsion droughts to keep appearances up until she could be killed in a manor befitting her station and the loyalty displayed through out the years. Harry couldn't say that he hated the whole thing. Seeing Bella like he had the day she'd returned was by far the worst moment he'd ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
Rodolphus' sigh brought him out of his thoughts. "What am I going to do?" He asked sadly. Despite his faults and the cruelty of his wife Rodolphus was in love with his wife, he'd always been. It was twisted and Harry was certain that he didn't want to know half of what went on between the two of them but he knew that Rodolphus wouldn't be taking his wife's death well at all. Harry frowned and gazed down at Bella.
"You will mourn and then you will do everything in your power to live up to the legacy your wife left behind." He said softly. It was the pure blood thing to say they both knew it, the man nodded slowly his eyes blank and glassy.
"I would kill for the love she gave to you- yet I wonder, will you even miss her?" He said looking up at him with hard eyes. Harry frowned and looked away not saying anything.
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Harry rubbed his eyes as he slipped out of his last class. Exams had been simple but most required essays which were tedious and made his hand cramp. "Harry?" Draco said from beside him. Draco's color had improved greatly since his mother's death but he was still having a hard time and Harry found that there really wasn't much he could do. Even if he was Draco's friend there were no words of comfort he had to offer.
"Yes?" he asked ready to indulge Draco. He found himself feeling guilty for his inability to make Draco feel better, especially since lately he'd been so busy with his apprenticeship and with Bella's welfare. So he generally let Draco have whatever he wanted when he did ask.
"I- I want to visit her grave." Draco said jaw tense. It was a show of weakness to visit the grave of a loved one so soon after their passing. Harry gazed at him for a moment in shock before nodding.
"Alright we'll go as soon as school is out." he said easily. Draco bit his lip and nodded.
"Can you..." He swallowed thickly. "Can you not tell father?" he pleaded. Harry pursed his lips but nodded.
"There is a particular flower shop that your mother and Bella used to frequent, would you like to set some at her grave?" Harry said soothingly. Draco pursed his lips and nodded.
"Thank you Harry." He said quietly. Harry nodded and they fell into a companionable silence.
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Harry watched Draco settle the flowers against the elaborate headstone with mild fascination. He'd never witnessed someone mourning the passing of a loved one before, emotional displays were taboo in the pure blood world. But there was something incredibly beautiful and saddening about watching Draco break down in tears. he wondered what it would feel like to have such a close bond torn from him but he couldn't quite grasp the concept. He knew of course that at one point he'd had real parents- a family that had adored him perhaps in a similar way that Draco's mother had loved her son.
But his view on love was twisted now and he knew it.
Bella's love was the only one he knew of and hers was a fanatic disturbing chaotic love that had been the cause of many of his nightmares. Draco looked up at him from where he sat and Harry was thrown off guard by the raw pain he saw there. He did the only thing he could think to do and opened his arms the way he did whenever Bella was truly upset. Draco flew into them with abandonment and wept openly his sobs broken and heart wrenching even to a heart as cold as his own.
"Oh Harry what am I going to do?" He begged eventually his hands clutching Harry's robes in distress. Harry pursed his lips. He didn't have the answers, yet the same question kept coming up lately. So he gave the only answer he knew how to give.
"You will mourn and then you will do everything in your power to live up to the legacy your mother left behind." He said softly though it sounded empty in his own ears. Draco sniffled loudly and nodded as if it made complete sense to him, perhaps it did, after all Draco didn't know how empty those words were. Draco released his cloak before pulling away, his gaze set in determination.
"I'll be everything she always hoped for me to be- I'll be great someday." He said with a jerking nod before wiping his damp eyes with his sleeve. Harry nodded slowly. In the long run this would be beneficial to him, but he couldn't help but think that there was something off about it.
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The rest of their summer would find them studying quietly in small nooks and alcoves. They spoke softly, quietly and seriously trading ideas and bits of information that they found interesting. Draco no longer laughed and acted foolishly like a child, he was solemn and cold in a way that almost made Harry long for the old Draco. As their summer progressed they attended a few balls keeping a close eye on Bella who was little more than a ghost of her former self despite the complexity of the spells cast on her. Outwardly she was the same as ever, no one even thought to question the glassy look in her eyes especially since they were avoiding making eye contact to begin with. Harry noticed though, Bella was gone, there was no recognition in her eyes now for him or her husband. Rodolphus especially had a hard time with it and if it weren't for the dark lord's demands that he make an appearance at her side from time to time he would gladly stay home and work his way through their liquor stores.
Lucius Malfoy also remained absent for many of these occasions, according to Draco the man had thrown himself into his work against Germany taking whatever he could politically the way Bella had on the war front. he was completely distant from his son, he didn't write to him, didn't speak to him and as far as Harry could tell the two had only seen each other twice and neither had spoken a word to the other. Lucius Malfoy was becoming a fortress of cold unrelenting fury.
By the time their quiet summer was coming to an end and were due to purchase their goods for the next year the bustle of the crowd was nearly thunderous and overwhelming to them. They were alone this time, a stark contrast to the family trip they had taken the year before and the difference was nearly as deafening as the crowd cheering and laughing around them. A growing emptiness seemed to surround them and more than once Draco would move closer to him as if echoing their thoughts- they only had each other now.
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Harry stared at his neatly packed bag wondering at the ache in his chest. He'd been staring at it for a good half an hour now wondering why it should bother him that Bella wasn't tearing through it and antagonizing the elves. Eventually he turned on his heel and made his way to her wing of the house. He didn't go very often, the elves took care of her needs and she had her own personal staff of healers that checked on her regularly, so when he entered he couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the state of the room.
Bella liked green, like his eyes.
And red, like blood.
She absolutely abhorred creams and ivory's, she also had a distinct hatred towards the color blue. And yet the room was colored in blues and creams and ivory's. He sneered at the mediwitch.
"Who changed the decor of this room?" He demanded. The witch jerked back in fear and stuttered out a reply.
"I-It was so dark and- well some of the mediwitches thought that it would be better if-" Suddenly Harry's wand was trained on her and she was screaming. He only kept the curse on her for a few moments but he knew it would be enough to convince her not to change the room again. With a few pointed wand motions the colors shifted returning to their deep burgundies and forest greens. With a smooth gate he crossed the room and gazed down at Bella who stared blankly ahead.
Nothing.
Gritting his teeth he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"I'm going to Hogwarts now mother, I don't know when I will see you again. I know we already said our goodbyes but- I felt it would be improper not to say goodbye again even if you can't hear me." He said softly.
Bella didn't move, didn't react at all.
The ache in his chest grew but he ignored it.
"Good bye mother." He said before turning on his heel and slipping back out of the room.
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Draco was the only one waiting for him when he reached the platform, he too was alone. Harry nodded knowingly and Draco tightened his jaw.
"Father had a meeting with the ambassador." he said idly. Harry nodded.
"Mine had a meeting with a liquor bottle." He said smiling thinly. Draco's face softened and he nodded.
"Shall we?" He said gesturing grandly. Harry nodded.
"I suppose so." He said tiredly before following his friend onto the train. His...friend...he smiled wryly. It really was a time for change.
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Review!
And don't worry there will be more Lucius soon at this point I am trying to paint him as something unreachable for Harry who thinks about him constantly and worries about him but can do nothing as he is stoking his already impressive ambition.
