A/N: Kudos to the kids that caught that reference to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last chapter. I love you guys. :3
Disclaimer: Nothing is owned.
Chapter Seven – Consider It Spilled.
"So I've decided to spill it; the beans, the juice, my guts… Whatever you want to call it, consider it spilled. Up to this point, I feel like I've done an excellent job of keeping just about everything true about myself, to myself… and for good reason – what people don't know, people can't use against you."
- Alexander W. Gaskarth of All Time Low
On the long walk to the theater, Edward and I…well, we caught up. Apparently, he was taking the same AP classes as I was.
"So, what do you need those credits for? I mean, what area of college?" I asked, curious.
He looked thoughtful before answering, "Well, as you know, it's my dream to become a pianist… but since that won't happen anytime soon, I'm going into the medical field… like Carlisle."
"Hm," I thoughtfully said, "Why do you want to be a doctor?"
He sighed, as if he didn't think his reason was adequate, "Why does anyone want to be anything? A kid to be a fireman? A little girl to be a say-at-home-soccer mom? I wanna help people; give them a reason to live, because maybe, they wouldn't have had a chance to live without my help."
He looked up at me again to read my face and continued, "My dream to be a pianist… sure, that'd be nice for me… maybe a few other people, but for the most part, it wouldn't be helping anyone else. Just me, my happiness. Compared to a doctor, me becoming a musician would be selfish."
I was stunned. "Selfish? It'd be anything but. Didn't Esme teach to you anything?"
He shook his head, confused, "What do you mean?"
"Well, aren't parents supposed to tell you that you can do whatever you want to when you grow up? I mean… my dad did. Renee did too, when she was still around. I would think that Esme would want you to be doing whatever it is that you want to do… she'd want you to be your happiest."
He thought back for a moment and responded with a, "Yes. Of course she did… but I think she was just playing along. I mean, what kind of ten-year-old goes around saying that they want to be a pianist when they grow up? Yes, she'd want me to be my happiest… but I think I should probably do something… productive, I guess."
"So everything that you do, in school, is for your parents' benefit? Edward, they don't care what you do! They just want you do be happy. Just be who you want to be, do what you want to do."
This wasn't the cocky, jerk-Edward that had been here for the past couple of years. This wasn't even the young Edward that I was still in love with. This was a completely new Edward. An Edward that wanted to do what he thought was best for the people around him, instead of making himself happy and his family happy. Only, he didn't realize that not doing what he wanted to do was going to end up hurting both him and his family if he wasn't truly happy.
The rest of the short walk was quiet, in an awkward way. I tried to make sense of the emotions swirling around me. I was undeniably confused, baffled by Edward's behavior. One second, he'd be a complete jerk, and then, like a switch, he'd be the charming, old Edward. He could say the most amazing things, and then snap at me with a smart-ass retort. What was up with him?
I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward grabbing my elbow, and I ignored the tingling it sent through my arm. "We're here Bella," he said, his voice rough with some emotion. His face was in a hard mask, covering his emotions. I just nodded to him.
"Two tickets, please," he said, oh-so charmingly.
I could tell the girl at the counter was dazzled by the way she stuttered a, "O-okay. Here you go, sir. Enjoy the show."
I shook my head, hiding my laughter. I glanced up feeling Edward's questioning gaze and just shook my head covering my mouth with my hand.
He just smirked. I was starting the think that maybe Edward hadn't changed... maybe he was still the old Edward.
The movie was stupid. During the opening credits, a fight broke out between two guys and one was in a coma. When a guy, ironically, by the name of Tom got hit by a car, I stood up abruptly.
Edward looked at me alarmed. "Bathroom," I mouthed. He nodded and took the tub of popcorn. I didn't miss the concerned look that crossed his face before the façade was back.
I quickly made my way to the nicely-cleaned restroom. Checking quickly to see that all the stalls were empty, I leaned against the cold counter, silently crying.
I still hadn't gotten over Tommy's untimely death, and I feared I never would. Confessing did help a part of me overcome the circling emotions. Yes, it did. However, part of me was still grieving. I was still believing that it was my fault. But... maybe, just maybe, I couldn't have saved Tommy? Maybe it really wasn't my fault, then, if I could do nothing to save him.
But you could've made sure he was out of the street.
That neighborhood was extremely safe! Who knew Tyler Crowley would come plowing down it – drunk?
Still, you were babysitting him, you should have done something... bring him inside, watch a movie.
Yes, yes. It is my fault.
And now you've hurt Renee more severely than anyone else has – congratulations. You made her run away.
Well, she always was a flighty one, mom was...
And now I'm in the restroom, thinking to myself. Brilliant, Bella. Absolutely brilliant.
I took a swift glance at the mirror and saw my eyes were puffed up and red. I rubbed them with cold water and hoped it would die down by the time the movie let out.
I half-consciously walked back in the theater, following the lighted aisle down to my seat in the middle of the room. I expected Edward to be there, yes. But I did not expect to see Edward there macking with some blonde. I stood there, fuming, for a few moments ignoring the 'Hey! Sit Down's my standing position was attracting and waited for Edward and the blonde to realize I was there. After a few moments, I gave up sighing, and stomped out.
I almost stopped as I heard Edward call out for me to stop. Almost.
He's a player... you should have known that he would do this.
Yeah, but... he was starting to act... decent. Like old Edward used to act.
Yeah. Acting. He was just showing you his act.
"Bella! Bella, wait up!" Edward was jogging up to me.
I sped up my pace.
"Jesus, Bella. Stop!" he huffed.
I spun around, "What do you want, Edward."
He grinned, "Why are you running away from me?"
"Perhaps you forgot that you were macking with some bimbo while I was at the bathroom?" My teeth clenched.
"No. I didn't forget. Why... are you... jealous?" he teased.
"No! I'm not jealous. You're such a freaking a," I shouted.
"I think you're jealous, Bella."
"Am not!"
"Are too."
"I'm not going to have this conversation with you, Edward. Just go back to your whore or something."
Normally, I wasn't one to swear... But Edward just brought out these angry feelings in me.
It was silent for a moment, thankfully, as we walked back to our dorm rooms. It gave me a moment to think. That is until Edward mumbled, "I still think you're jealous."
Then I snapped and whirled around to face him.
"What?! Why the hell would I be jealous, Edward? Because some girl was skanky enough to try and get into your pants? Yeah, right. I'm absolutely, totally jealous of that slut. I'm glad you think so highly of me, Edward," my breath was coming out in angry gasps.
"Bella," I turned from him.
"Bella." He grabbed my shoulders and turned me.
"What."
"I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it that way," He apologized with his eyes pleading with me.
I got lost in his green eyes for a second before I shook it off.
"Yeah. Whatever, Edward." I stomped away, or tried to, at least. I stumbled, face first, into the pavement, only to be caught by familiar warm arms.
I moaned, "Ugh. Edward, get off of me."
He wasn't moving, and was succeeding in pissing me off.
"Edward," I snapped, "Get the hell off of me!" I was rewarded with a chuckle that obviously didn't belong to Edward and looked up.
"Aaron?" I hadn't seen him all week and, out of nowhere, here he is. Saving me again.
"Hey there, Bella," he smiled his dimpled grin. I got lost in his blue eyes, as if nothing had happened. It was like we could stay staring at each other for forever. When my brown met his blue, time stopped. I knew other people existed, but he was the only one I cared about. Maybe it wasn't love, but it was sure as hell close to it.
"Aaron!" I jumped and hugged him, making him take a few steps back in order to not fall.
He laughed as he put his arms around me, "Bella."
Then I did something I hadn't expected that I would do. I kissed him. Mind you, I'm beyond shy. I lack the skills to connect to most people. Making eye contact with anyone I didn't know would be a big enough feat for me. Kissing him, therefore, is huge. Huge enough to embarrass me beyond belief.
"Oh. My. Gosh," was all I whispered as I ran away.
I had no idea why I kissed – only that it seemed to be right at that moment. There wasn't any 'spark,' but it was actually... really nice.
I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts as the same familiar arms wrapped around me, twisting me around, and crushing their lips to mine.
"Why," was all he asked.
"Why what?" I looked at his face, wishing his eyes would open.
Then, as if he heard my thoughts, his lids lifted, revealing those blue orbs. "Why'd you run away from me?"
I hid my face in his shoulder. I felt him shake lightly as he laughed, "Bella." I just shook my head.
"Bella," he pulled me away from his body. "Please don't hide from me. I want to be able to see your face. Now, why'd you run away from me?"
I looked away from him, "I was embarrassed."
He chucked, "I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Could you speak up?"
I huffed, "I was embarrassed."
He laughed even more, "Did you seriously just stomp your foot? And why are you embarrassed?"
I felt my eyebrows scrunch up on their own accord, "I didn't know if you'd enjoy it or not... I'm not exactly experienced in this... area."
Cue blush.
"Well, it really was... enjoyable," he grinned, "In fact, I think that I may just have to call a repeat of that performance."
I blushed harder. "I might just have to take you up on that."
He leaned down to kiss me again but just as I closed my eyes, someone cleared their throat. Edward.
"Yes, Edward?" Aaron asked, looking slightly irritated.
I rose an eyebrow as he said, "I need to talk to you, Bella."
"Talk," I motioned with my hands.
It was his turn to raise an eyebrow, "Alone."
"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Aaron," I tapped my foot lightly.
"I am her boyfriend, dude," Aaron piped in. I smiled lightly at him, hearing that I was his girlfriend.
Edward cleared his throat again. "Anyway... Alice called while you were in the bathroom... she needs to talk to you. ASAP."
"And why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I scowled.
"I forgot," was his brilliant response.
"Fine. Let's go, Aaron," I grabbed his hand and walked away.
The walk home was... nice. We held hands and talked about, well, everything really. Everything we hadn't already talked about. When we got back to my dorm, Alice was no where to be found. I wasn't freaked out, though, because I knew she probably went to Jasper's. Sure enough, we found a note taped to my laptop saying she would see me in the morning. After kissing me goodnight, Aaron left, lingering for a few seconds. I smiled at the memory and pulled on my pajamas. We made plans to do the classic dinner and a movie date tomorrow night after school.
Aaron was a really amazing guy, I knew I was lucky to have him. Sure, I knew that this was just a relationship, and it probably wouldn't last for more than a few months, a year or two at most, but I was going to enjoy it while it lasted.
And hopefully, I wouldn't be too heartbroken if – when – it ended.
Lord knows, I've had enough heartbreak for a lifetime.
Nah, not my best chapter. Anyway, review? :)
