Author's Note: Let me introduce you to a completely new original character (OC). All the information is in my profile with my other OC info. Her name is Ronnie Hartman, and I think it's perfect to bring her in now.
Dear Diary:
Sailor Moon's Horrifying Adventures
Week Seven
Monday (Day 43)
Dear Diary,
I am really tired. It was a long day that started with a battle before school. I mean, it was five in the morning, and only Jadeite and I were awake... nightmares again... and then all of a sudden I had this icky, gross feeling wash over me. I knew what it was, and then we all had to head out before the sun was even up. We got there and this thing had these ten long tentacles. Sun Knight named it the Tentopus, which made everyone laugh.
Nephrite wasn't there, and I have to admit I was thankful about that. I don't think I had it in me to try and heal him this morning. Not after the night I had. Nightmares suck. The fight didn't last long. Rei and Ami never even got to us before the thing was Moon-Dusted. My brother has started calling it that whenever we destroy a Youma because they tend to turn to dust and either land in a pile on the ground or float away on the wind.
School was a long, drawn-out, awful thing. Mamoru set Jadeite to 'look out for me,' as though I am completely helpless or something. It's not my fault I ran into those bullies. It isn't as though they're at my school or anything. Kami only knows how he thinks I'm in danger there. Anyways, Jadeite even wanted to stand guard outside the bathroom, and at that point I almost lost it. I explained to him, with the help of Ami and Naru, that I was in no danger of running into those freaks in the school bathroom. First, they're high school kids, and second, they're boys.
Ugh!
I really can't wait until Rei starts coming to school with us. He'll be so busy following her around he might just leave me alone!
Anyways, after school I went to the first of my new activities... I love gymnastics! It was so much fun. I'm in a class with a bunch of older teens who didn't start the sport as kids. Anyone who did is leagues ahead of us, and to be honest, most of those younger kids compete.
Those of us who are new to gymnastics have a lot of reasons for doing it.
A few of the girls are taking the class to help with dancing, one for cheerleading, and one for the fun and challenge of learning something new. There are only two boys in the class. One is there because he wants to use the skills to create a new form of martial arts. Apparently he is taking three different types of martial arts. Wow! The other boy didn't say why he was there. He didn't talk much at all actually, but he seemed really shy so we didn't push him too hard.
Can I just toot my own horn here a bit? I'm actually rather good at gymnastics. Maybe because I have to get away from stupid Youma all the time. It sort of came naturally, the rolling and tumbling and everything. We were just doing basic stuff, but it was sooooo much fun!
Mamoru met me at the classroom door and walked with me to the command center under the Crown Game Center. Luna wanted to talk to us about what our responsibilities were as the Prince and Princess. She's absolutely sure that's who we are now. It's sort of upsetting actually. She seems to think we need to learn to lead the planet. I wanted to remind her that we don't have a planet-wide royal family anymore, but the moment I opened my mouth to argue, she pouted. POUTED! What am I supposed to do with that? I actually felt guilty for not wanting to take the responsibility.
Look, the truth is, I remember far too much of our past lives. I remember meeting Endymion, and falling in love with him. I remember making love in the rose garden, our secret Soul-Bonding ceremony, and the wedding we shared with our friends. I remember feeling pressured to produce an heir and fight against this great big evil. And I remember him dying, and me.
And if that wasn't bad enough, I remember what it was like to be a princess. Lessons that lasted hours for things as silly as how to sit properly, and the best ways to say hello, how to use a fan, and what types of chemise to wear under what dresses. I remember having very little choice over how my own life would go. Not being able to choose so much as my own dance partner at a ball. Not being allowed to choose what dress I wore, or even to put the gowns on by myself. It was a constant mess, trying to be this perfect person when all I wanted was a normal life.
I was expected to know exactly what to say, and how to say it. I always had to have perfect manners, and I had to be perfect. That's impossible!
I don't want that life back. I like being me now. I like the life of Tsukino Usagi. I like being seen as an average fourteen year old, and playing video games... Now I'm taking gymnastics, and all sorts of other things and Luna made me take a whole stack of books on politics for a bunch of other planets, many of which no longer even have life! I mean I understand if we have to fight... but I don't want to be a princess again. I just don't! Is that so wrong?
Tsukino Usagi
Tuesday (Day 44)
Dear Diary,
Today was long, exhausting, frustrating, and just plain awful. Not only did I have a surprise test this morning, but I was ten minutes late to class, so I had to hurry through it and I know I got at least two questions wrong. UGH! As if it's not hard enough waking up early to fight stupid Youma, I have to deal with school.
Naru and Umino were arguing at lunch time. I don't know what it was all about, but I gather he said something stupid because, well… he's Umino. That boy has never had a filter. He doesn't stop to think before he says something. He isn't stupid. As a matter of fact, he's nearly as smart as Ami. That doesn't mean he's wise. Anyway, the worst part of their argument was that Umino jumped up to storm away and knocked his fried shrimp into my lap, so now my school skirt is all stained. I doubt I'll be able to get the grease stains out.
I had my newest extracurricular activity today too, and I didn't get to see my Mamo-chan first, which made me sad. Jadeite was still following me around, on Mamoru's request, and I wanted to scream at him. It just makes me so angry that they don't see me as a strong and capable person. I thought maybe they would realize I can take care of myself, but I guess I was wrong. Sorry... tangent.
Tai Chi is not easy, but it isn't what I was expecting either. Most of it is about balance and having control over your own body. That has never been my strong suit. It's definitely not as fun as gymnastics, and I have no natural talent for it, unfortunately.
At least I made a new friend. She's lived in Japan most of her life, but I guess she was born in America. Her parents both work in Tokyo, and she knows Japanese as well as I do. Her name is Ronnie, and she is really pretty and smart, but very quiet. She doesn't like it when people get behind her. It actually reminds me a bit of Jadeite. I think maybe she must have been attacked by the Negaverse or something. I say something because she seems to be afraid of boys. That makes me sad.
Why do people hurt each other?
Anyway, Ronnie has brown hair and eyes and is a few years older than me. She goes to high school, in the tenth grade, but at a private school for girls only. Oh, and what a wicked sense of humor. That sort of sarcastic dry wit where she says something under her breath and I just want to roll on the floor laughing until my sides split. She has been taking Tai Chi for about a month, and she's pretty good at balancing.
I am not. As a matter of fact, I am just plain awful at it. I not only fell down, I took several other students with me. The sensei was not amused. Neither was I for that matter. That's when I met Ronnie. I was sent to the back of the class where I would have less chance of harming other students, and she was the only other one back there. By the time class was over, I was ready to call it a night.
Mamo-chan was waiting for me when I got done and we started walking home, but then my stupid communicator went off and we had to go fight a Youma that had bad breath. I mean that quite literally. It's breath could knock over a plane! When it blew on people they went tumbling backward. You try fighting that when you weigh barely a hundred pounds!
So not only did my skirt smell like shrimp, my hair smelled like halitosis!
At least Haruki was able to sneak up behind it and get in a good shot, because every time I moved it breathed at me again. It was just plain awful. So, when we finally got home, dinner was cold. I still ate it. It was a very long day after all. But that doesn't mean I liked it. Okay, to be fair it was still yummy. I just wish it had been yummy AND hot.
Then I took a really long shower. I feel a bit better but
CONTINUED
That I was not expecting. I was busy writing in my journal when all of a sudden the communicator starts beeping and we had to run out to fight another Youma. This one was on a cruise ship of all things. It yelled it's name, repeatedly. Thetis. Who comes up with these names anyway? Anyways, the ship had just left the dock when we got there, and it hadn't even shown itself yet, but Jadeite knew about it so we found it pretty quickly.
We had to jump from the dock onto the back of the ship, which was actually sort of fun. Not quite as scary as jumping from one skyscraper as the next, so I actually enjoyed it. All the people clapped, but then they looked worried, because we only show up when there's a problem. And boy was there a problem. Thetis started draining everyone and they were dropping to the deck all over the place.
We ended up in the cargo hold fighting it, and it was a bit frightening because I guess the ship wasn't new and pretty the way it looked when we saw it at first. It was actually a wreck and there was a hole in the side bigger than a car! We had to maneuver around all sorts of debris and old storage crates and the inner workings of the ship. It got a pretty good hit on Sailor Mars, but then I Moon Dusted it with my tiara.
Nephrite was there this time and I was able to get him with a short dose of healing before he disappeared. I wish I could get him to sit still long enough to help him for real. It's sort of hit or miss though. Well, Mamoru yelled at me for showing myself, and that upset me, but I had other things to worry about. Sun Knight and I healed people as best we could while Sailor Mercury steered the ship back to the dock. Blue Moon called for the first responders and by the time we got the boat back they were waiting for us.
Everyone was okay, but some of them might be tired and sleepy for a few days. Meanwhile Sun Knight and I are exhausted.
Now I'm back home, laying on my bed, with Mamoru knocking on my bedroom door, but I'm not talking to him right now. I tried to tell him I'm not the helpless baby he thinks I am, but I guess he wasn't listening because he got mad at me for moving from behind the crate to take the shot at the Youma and heal Nephrite. I don't know what else to do about him. I even tried talking to my dad, but he thinks Mamoru is being perfectly reasonable.
I think I might go on strike.
How do they expect me to heal anyone if I can't see them? Boys are STUPID!
Tsukino Usagi
Wednesday (Day 45)
Dear Diary,
You know what its like when you love someone, but you feel hurt and angry, and you wonder if they know you at all? I do.
I love Mamoru. My Mamo-chan. I love him with everything I have. I didn't even know it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly and easily. So completely. But I feel like he doesn't respect me, which means he doesn't see me. I know I got close to bullies. I know I can be a bit of a klutz. But somehow or another I managed to survive fourteen and three-quarters years without him in my life to 'protect me.'
Ha! Protect me my butt! He's driving me crazy! He spent more than an hour trying to get me to come out of my bedroom last night. And when I finally did, he said I needed to stop being all emotional about it and see reason! I smacked him, went back in my room and locked the door, then snuck out of the house and ran to the Jinja. I called my mom as soon as I got there, and she wasn't mad, but my dad sure was.
Well, I won't be going back home until they realize that I'm not some porcelain doll to be kept on a shelf and only brought out when I'm needed to dust a Youma. Rei and I called Ami and she rushed right over. We had a 'men are stupid,' tea party at ten o'clock, and then went to bed because even though boys suck, we still have school and stuff.
Now the three of us are at school. We got here really early because I don't want to see or talk to Mamoru until I've had a chance to calm down and until he realizes he's an ass! That's right. I said it. My boyfriend is an ass!
So, I'm just sitting at my desk, and now Rei is in with the registrar because she's starting school here as of today. Ami is studying, so I decided to write about what happened. We still have almost an hour before school starts, and at this point I just want my teacher to show up. To be honest, I'm a little worried Mamoru will come right into the school and try to talk to me. I'm really not ready for that.
I think if I could just get him to understand that having different sex organs doesn't make me less than him...
CONTINUED
Thank the Kami for small miracles! Mamoru did show up, but our principal was just coming into the room with Rei when he did, and when he realized Mamoru wasn't a student he sent him away. Score one for school rules, right!? It's the middle of class, and thankfully I am back in my normal seat next to Naru because Rei is sitting with Jadeite. It's a good thing too because I might punch him. Seriously. He seems to think Mamoru is right and I need to be 'protected.'
What crap!
I'm just glad I don't have gymnastics or tai chi today. I'm not really in the mood for either of them. Maybe kickboxing, if the target can be Mamoru's mouth! I know I'm being ridiculous, but I just can't help it. He really hurt my feelings, and he doesn't even seem to think he's done anything wrong. Do I yell at him for taking out Youma? No! Do I yell at him if he happens to be unlucky enough to get hit by one? No! Do I treat him like he is stupid or worthless? No!
I rest my case.
I don't know how to get through to Mamoru. I love him. But I'm not a piece of property. You think I'm being ridiculous don't you? Well, last I checked I had the right to make decisions for myself. If I'm wrong... I'm leaving. I won't be in a relationship, or even a family, where I am not seen as an actual person.
CONTINUED
I ran away... and broke up with my boyfriend.
I bet you want to know why. Ugh. Let me start at the beginning. I called my mom, and she said it was fine to go to the Jinja with Rei and Ami. We had a break from training for the day because Luna had someone she wanted to talk with. All hush hush or something. Anyways, mom thought it was fine. She told me to have fun, and I was. I was in the garden with Rei and her grandfather was telling jokes and flirting. He does that a lot. I was laughing and having a great time, and then Mamoru showed up.
He said, and I am quoting here, "you're being ridiculous. It's time to come home."
I said no. what else would I say after everything? He's faced bullies before. I know because Motoki told me. He was actually bullied a lot when he first started high school. But for some reason when I get bullied by perfect strangers, I'm considered helpless and pathetic... ugh... anyways, so I tried to talk to him calmly and explain that he had hurt my feelings and made me feel worthless.
He talked right over me, and then tried to pick me up and take me home no matter what I wanted. So I ran from him and hid in Rei's room with the door locked. Until Mamoru called my father, and he ordered me to come out and go home, even though my mother said I could be there. So I go home, but at this point, I am completely refusing to talk to Mamoru because not only wont he listen to me, he spoiled my fun time and then called my father just because he didn't get his way.
So then my dad comes home from work and says I am grounded. I was not happy. I told him I had permission to go to the shrine, but he reminded me that I had snuck out last night and says that's why I am grounded. I tried to explain that Mamoru practically chased me out of the house because he wouldn't leave me alone, but he wouldn't listen. At that point something in me snapped. I don't know why.
I started to cry, and then Mamoru was trying to cuddle with me, so I pushed him away and told him if he didn't respect me, I wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore. Then I told my father he had a ridiculous double standard and if he couldn't treat me as equal with the boys I didn't want to be his daughter anymore. So I went upstairs, packed a few outfits into my subspace pocket, snuck out onto my balcony and ran away.
Granted, I have nowhere to go, and very little money. I can't go to any of the places people would expect me to be. I can't go to the arcade, or to Rei or Ami's places. I can't go to Naru or Umino. So I came somewhere no one would ever expect me to go. School. The roof access door isn't locked, so I snuck inside and now I'm at the top landing, sitting on hard concrete and writing by the emergency lights.
Why can't I stop crying?
Tsukino Usagi
Thursday (Day 46)
Dear Diary,
Last night was awful. I barely slept at all. I think I might have gotten a few hours if you add all of it up together, but right after I laid down, Mamoru showed up. Apparently there are locators inside the communicators.
Mamoru yelled at me for scaring him. I yelled at him for treating me like I wasn't even a person and told him to go away. Then he grabbed me and carried me home even though I was kicking and screaming. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to be near him either.
My dad and mom both yelled at me. So I just went into my room and tried to lay down, but Mamoru couldn't just drop it. He came into my room and started trying to talk to me. I told him to leave me alone, and that I didn't want to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. So I screamed for him to get out of my room or I was leaving.
Then my dad came in and told me I was being ridiculous and childish and that if I couldn't act my age then I didn't deserve any of my privileges. I was like, what privileges, I'm not allowed to so much as walk by myself anymore. I have no control over where I go, or what I do, and my life is completely overtaken by a job I didn't want and a destiny I'd rather not have. I don't want to be a stupid princess. I don't want to be a superhero. I don't want to take classes on tai chi and whatever else they throw at me.
What I want is what I had two months ago. I want to wake up late and run for school. I want to get yelled at by my teacher. I want to go to the arcade and eat junk food and drink milkshakes until it hurts my stomach, and play video games and not do my homework.
Now I wake up at four every morning with nightmares, have a Youma battle before school, but always arrive on time. I never get in trouble and my homework is always done. I have classes and stupid trainings and more Youma battles, and I don't get to be a carefree teenager anymore. I have no privileges. I'm responsible for saving people I've never even met and destroying big scary monsters, and I get yelled at for even trying to do that by my boyfriend, because in spite of everything I do, he doesn't think I'm good enough, and my dad sides with him because he thinks I'm too stupid, weak, and helpless to so much as walk to school by myself.
That's when my mom came in. She made them leave and just held me and let me cry. Moms really are the most wonderful people on the planet. Anyways, by this point its almost two in the morning, and I guess I must have cried myself to sleep, but I woke up at about three because there was a Youma. So I went out and fought it, and then went back home and did my stupid homework because there was no point trying to go back to bed.
After that it was school and then gymnastics. I didn't even bother talking to anyone. I just couldn't deal with it. And then we had to fight another Youma, and by this point I was so exhausted, I stumbled and fell right into it's path and got hit pretty bad with acid. Yeah... it spit acid. Stupid Negaverse. So I got burned all over my arm and upper chest and Tuxedo Kamen healed me, and then I took out the Youma and left.
I was walking home, by myself, but Mamoru found me and started walking with me. I told him to go away, but he wouldn't listen. Well this hot feeling came over me. I had enough. I don't know how, but one minute I was standing in the middle of the park, staring at Mamoru, and the next thing I know, I'm on the moon. Yes, the moon. And I had no idea how to get back home.
Well, this tiny little woman in blue appeared in front of me. It was the Queen. Some sort of projection of her or something. Well she asks me if I'm okay, and everything starts coming out. Even the stuff I haven't told anyone. All about how I feel and why I feel it and this big dreadful weight of responsibility that is just hanging over my head. And how everyone expects me to be perfect, and no matter what I do, I can't live up to those expectations, and the way Mamoru keeps hurting my feelings because he doesn't think I am worth anything as a warrior, and the way my father isn't giving me a break even though it's Mamoru who keeps pushing and pushing until I get so mad I have to react or go insane.
I felt so much better after I told her everything. She listened and gave me advice. But the advice didn't make a lot of sense. All she really said, paraphrasing here, was to be myself. Uh, that's what I've been trying to do and it keeps backfiring. So then she tells me that what I did was teleportation, and that all of us have the ability to do it and she walked me through getting back home.
It's pretty simple actually. You just visualize where you want to be, and you wish to be there. So I wished to be in my bedroom. Now I'm home. My dad tried to punish me for 'running away' but my mother told him he was being ridiculous because it wasn't like I actually tried to run away. It was just a new power manifesting itself. She let me eat dinner in my room and I have the door and both windows closed and locked, and the curtains drawn and I'm just sitting here at my desk writing.
It's all just so overwhelming. I never wanted any of this. Not the dreams, or the powers, or any of it. I mean, I love Mamoru, and I am so happy to have new friends in my life. But it wasn't like I sought any of it out. It wasn't like I tried to become a superhero.
Tsukino Usagi
Friday (Day 47)
Dear Diary,
Tai Chi went better. I wasn't perfect, or even all that good, but I didn't knock anyone down, and that was an improvement. Ronnie and I talked for a while. She'd pretty great. Strong and independent and even though she can be really nervous around guys, she stays in complete control. I sort of wanted to stay at tai chi and not go home.
Mamoru apparently wasn't aware that we had broken up. He showed up outside of class to walk me home and I was actually surprised. I don't know why I should have been. I knew he wasn't going to suddenly realize I wasn't a pathetic, helpless, weakling... but a girl can hope. Well, he tried to kiss me and I asked him what he thought he was doing. He's like, I'm kissing my girlfriend. I reminded him we had broken up and he just stared at me.
Just stared. For a long time. Then he asked why.
At that point I just threw my hands up and started walking. Then I explained to him that I wouldn't be in a relationship with him because he didn't respect me. He said he does respect me, and that made me laugh.
So I asked him when the last time was that he yelled at Jadeite or Haruki during a fight because they did their job. I asked him why he wasn't insisting on walking the other girls home too... and why he acted like everyone but me could make good decisions. I reminded him that he wouldn't even let me have time to cool down after he upset me, and that he acted like I was somehow stupid because he hurt my feelings.
He was quiet after that. Really quiet. So we just walked home, like that. Quiet.
After dinner the communicator buzzed. Ami's Mercury computer sensed a Youma, and I didn't even feel it. So we all went out looking. None of us could track whatever it was and I was starting to get really worried. Then we saw a bunch of teenagers acting strange. They were throwing bottles through windows and writing graffiti. That sort of thing doesn't happen here. So we approached, carefully.
We fought a new Youma. This one was scary. Shadar. It only said it's name once, and it was obviously intelligent. The most intelligent Youma I think I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few of them. It had the ability to sort of push negative feelings. As soon as the kids saw us the Youma came out and told them to fight us and they attacked. We couldn't hurt them and it was difficult to get around them to stop the Youma.
And then I had an idea.
Remember how I found myself on the moon? Well, now that I knew how to teleport, I did it again, this time on purpose. I was afraid those kids would get hurt if I didn't react quickly. So I teleported right in front of it, with the Moon Wand out and ready, and shouted "Moon Healing Escalation." The Youma was dusted, but it actually took more energy than normal. But we still had to get the kids healed and sent home and called the first responders and told them it wasn't the kids fault they were acting that way.
By the time we got home I could barely stand. So now I am laying in bed writing. I'm tired and I don't feel very well. I think I'm just going to go to bed a little early.
Tsukino Usagi
Sunday (Day 49)
Dear Diary,
I've been really sick. I couldn't get out of bed at all yesterday. I even had to have help getting to the bathroom. I was supposed to start my self-defense class, but I couldn't go. I couldn't eat or drink anything. The few times I managed to choke something down I threw it back up a few minutes later. I had a horrible fever too, and apparently I was delirious. I've never been that sick before.
My mom is pretty upset. I guess on top of everything else I've lost another four pounds. I'll just say it's hard to eat when you're depressed. I mean, with Mamoru and my dad both acting like I am stupid and helpless, and having all these responsibilities, and I still haven't saved Nephrite... it's no wonder I'm sad.
Mamoru and I are officially back together though. I wasn't sure I should give him another chance, but he says he finally understands why I was so upset and will try to do better. He was really sweet too. He's been so nice while I've been sick.
I promise I will explain more later, but I am so tired. I need to sleep.
Tsukino Usagi
