A/N: I'm not abandoning this fic! My apologies for taking quite some time to write this chapter but I have been busy with other things. Not to mention, this isn't the easiest chapter to write. It started to dawn on me halfway that the entire HP series is littered with plot holes, inconsistencies and plot conveniences which made this chapter so difficult to write. I've always had issues with the Horcrux Hunt and how CONVENIENT everything was! Nagini as a Horcrux was an incredibly lucky hunch and although some may argue that because Harry was able to see through Nagini's eyes during that memory of Arthur Weasley in the Ministry, it is still an incredible hunch! The only reason how they found the Cup was because Harry accidentally said Voldemort's name, got send to the Manor, recognised the look of fear on Bellatrix and guessed that the Cup was there. Lucius provided them with the Diary. I admit having Dumbledore as a form of deus-ex-machina is great, but having Snape, James and the rest hunt down Horcruxes without the use of Harry gave me some really tough times.
After watching FB2 as well as looking back on the HP stories, I realise just how insane the Horcrux Hunt really was. Firstly, Dumbledore probably knew, even suspected, for a long time ever since Harry's second year that there were Horcruxes. Even after confirmation from Slughorn, Dumbledore knew it so and instead of devising a proper plan with information on how to destroy Horcruxes and suspected places of Voldemort's known whereabouts with what little time he had left which was so valuable, he comes up with this scheme of HRH having to figure it out for themselves. Secondly, what was wrong with allowing an adult to come along the Hunt? Perhaps he had great faith in the Golden Trio but I agree that Remus or Bill Weasley should be brought along as well. Before anyone can say anything along the lines of it being a covert operation, it would still be covert with one more additional member unless you're telling me that Dumbledore can't trust any member of the Order? Really? A guy like Remus would have been able to warn Harry against wearing the Horcrux or help them to summon or multiple food. Let's not forget Snape being able to give his memories to Harry because Voldemort used Nagini instead of the Avada Kedavra curse to kill him. Sorry for the rant, the HP story is really good but sometimes, I really feel sorry for the Golden Trio. They had to overcome a lot.
SORRY FOR THE RANT but I just had to get it out! I still love JK Rowling and her books though. Maybe I'm just still affected by FB2 which, if you've already watched it and you're a die-hard fan like me, you'll probably find it hard to stomach though as a spectacle, it is entertaining. For those asking if my story is going to be Snily or SevAlice, I say you'll just have to wait and see. I might seem to be pointing in one direction but you'll never know. They're in a war, anything can happen.
Okay, enough chit-chat. I just want to say….THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! KEEP THEM COMING! Love you guys loads.
Disclaimer: I own not a single property of HP as all of it belongs to Robert Galbraith.
The Importance of Being Snape
"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love" – Albus Dumbledore, King's Cross
Chapter 7
1978
If there was a single emotion to describe what Severus was feeling, it was fear. Upon seeing the image of Mary speaking to him, Snape could only drop to his knees as he gazed up at the image of Mary with her dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes staring deep into his soul. What he did next surprised even him as Snape took to his feet before bolting out of the room.
His first instinct was to go back to James and Sirius and tell them what he had encountered. Yet as he entered the darkened dormitory to the sounds of their light snoring, Snape could only pause as he took in the comfort of his familiar surroundings. It shouldn't have shocked him like it did but then again, Snape never expected to see Mary ever again, let alone talking to him.
As he took the sanctuary of his four-poster bed, Snape allowed his brain to take control, processing everything that he had just witnessed. A room that, to Snape's knowledge, he had never stepped inside even after seven years at Hogwarts. A vast place, with its white walls and pillars that shimmered so brightly, that Snape felt he had almost entered…
Heaven
Snape was not a religious person. Though he often heard people offer prayers to God, Snape took comfort in the joys of magic. Magic offered the higher power that Muggles often wished they had. For Snape, there were few boundaries to magic. Magic could allow one to fly, to be transported to places instantly, to turn back time and even help to create passion and attraction. But there are limitations. Magic cannot conjure food out of thin air, it cannot create true love and above all else, magic could not bring back the dead.
Or can it? True, Snape had often read but never did dabble much in the Dark Arts and of course, Voldemort's Horcruxes allowed for one to prolong life for as long as it could but never to bring back the dead. He noted that the room had brought Mary back through the form of a portrait. Magical portraits often allowed one to communicate with a person after their death but even in that retrospect, one could only communicate with the specific memories that the person left behind in the portrait. It is also important to note that one was communicating with a memory, a portrait and not the living embodiment of the person themselves. Even then, Snape couldn't recall if Mary ever had such a portrait designed for her.
He felt his eyelids start to droop as his head fell heavy. Snape made a mental note to find the room once morning came. As he slept, Snape smiled as his dreams turned towards angelic harps and white structures as he danced slowly with a familiar blonde-haired witch.
…
"What are you doing?"
Snape turned to see both James and Sirius approaching him on the seventh-floor corridor. He had been staring at a stone wall for ages, hoping that the room would show itself once more. Yet no red door materialised in front of him. Snape even tried to recreate his steps from the previous night, pacing and punching the walls but to no avail.
"Nothing, just taking a moment."
"To look at good ol' Barnabas?" James chuckled as he pointed at the tapestry behind them while Sirius laughed at the sight of the poor wizard attempting foolishly to teach trolls how to do ballet. Snape gave a fake laugh as he snuck a glance at the stone wall once more. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Wondering if it had all been a dream, Snape felt himself being pulled from his thoughts as James clapped him on his back.
"We've been looking for you, mate. Dumbledore wants to see us in his office."
"Did he say why?"
"Something about Professor Slughorn but I don't have all the details. Sirius?" James said as he turned to his best friend who was now staring at the same spot that Snape was looking at.
"I could have sworn there was a bathroom here," Sirius said as he shifted his head back and forth from the tapestry to the wall. "It was in our sixth year, I think. I was drunk out of my mind from Firewhiskey and I was in great, urgent need for a place to vomit. I came across this bathroom which was opposite this tapestry because I recalled laughing at Barnabus for quite some time after I exited. I could have sworn the bathroom was here."
"Maybe it moved. You know how this castle is, always shifting things." James replied.
"But a bathroom? Aren't there like pipes or something?" Sirius spoke doubtfully.
"You were drunk out of your mind," James said dismissively. "Come on, let's go see Dumbledore."
"You guys go ahead. I'll meet you there." Snape replied while looking deep in thought. Both James and Sirius thought nothing of it as they clapped him on the back before walking towards Dumbledore's office.
Something about the way Sirius spoke of his need to use a bathroom had made Snape realised he had indeed missed something. Shutting his eyes tight, Snape cleared his head before uttering the words.
"I need to see Mary." Images of Mary sprung up in his head, both in her past and now portrait form began presenting themselves to Snape. Without hesitating, Snape opened his eyes. The red door was now in front of him.
…
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door.
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door.
The song echoed throughout the room as Snape edged closer towards the portrait. He could see a small radio blaring out the song as a couch had substituted for the bench he had seen previously. Like everything else in the room, both items were white as well though Snape's eyes were focused on something else. Instead of a blank canvas, he could see Mary waving at him as Snape took to the couch while gazing at his late ex-girlfriend.
"I've added those things," Mary said as she motioned towards the couch and radio. "Tried to make it as comfortable for you as I possibly can."
Snape was not feeling a great deal of comfort but nevertheless, he took the couch, sinking his body into the stretchy fabric. He could feel the fear rushing through him once more and for a second, Snape feared he might bolt as he did last night. Instead, he blinked his eyes several times and pinched himself as tightly as he could.
"I assure you that you aren't dreaming." Mary giggled as she sat cross-legged in front of him. "But you have questions so go ahead and ask."
"What are you?" Snape said, not wanting to beat around the bush any longer.
"I am replicating a form of someone you wish to see. Tell me, Severus, have you ever heard of the Room of Requirement?"
Even with his extensive knowledge of the school and its history, Snape could only shake his head, having never heard of such a place. Perhaps Lily, the expert on Hogwarts: A History, might have been able to tell him more.
"I am known by many names, but this is the one I most prefer," Mary spoke in a calm voice as if trying to soothe Snape's jangled nerves. "When Hogwarts was created, the founders had a vision for this castle. They all agreed that the main purpose of the castle was to aid British magical students in their pursuit for magic. Hogwarts was to be a sanctuary, a place where one could seek comfort between these walls. In order for that to happen, the founders poured their magic into the creation of me. A room where one, if in great need of something, could come and find it here."
"So…wait…are you're saying you're alive?" Snape stammered as Mary nodded.
"Not too far-fetched if you grasp at it. The Sorting Hat is sentient as created by Godric and so am I. Though I must say, in the many years since my creation, no one has ever asked to speak to me as you have. There have been others, of course, who yearned and miss the loss of loved ones but you, Severus, you are special. When you laid there in the corridor, I sense a great deal of emotions, ranging from desire to anger all bottled up. It was your pain that forced me to assume this form."
"My pain?" Snape asked as Mary gave him a sympathetic look.
"Your pain is worse than most. I could sense it, of course, as that is my job. I need to sense the user. But yours, I'm afraid, was much more than I could bear. The loss of your mother, the abuse from your father, the heartbreak from your first love to the loss of your loved one all coupled together in a ball of pain and fury that needed to break free. So for the first time in my history, I sought a way to give you what you needed. I am limited by my powers to create a person so I did the next best thing. I took the form of Mary and created myself into this portrait. All for you."
"For me?" Snape replied, sounding skeptical. How was a portrait of Mary supposed to help him?
"Didn't you wish to speak to her?"
"Yes, but I meant as in alive and well. I needed to speak to her in that manner. Or at least to her spirit" Snape said as his thoughts turned to Nearly Headless Nick and how he wished Mary could be the same.
"Would you prefer if I adopted the form of a ghost? Ghosts are forces, after all. I suppose I could give it a try." Mary spoke in a thoughtful voice. "Though I would assume that the thought of that would make you sad."
"Why would it?"
"Because it would mean that your poor Mary is unable to move on. Forever stuck in limbo, traumatised by her past."
Snape did a double-take. He had never thought of spirits in that perspective before though it did make sense. All of the Hogwarts's ghosts, despite their ranges in personality, all seemed to be lost, floating about in a castle for centuries.
"Whatever it is, trust me. I don't need this." Snape replied as he stared back at Mary. He could see her blue eyes blazing and for a moment, feared he had angered her in some way. Instead, a forlorn expression came over her countenance as she smiled sadly at him.
"You may lie through your teeth but never through your heart, Severus," Mary spoke in a despondent tone. "Your pain and despair is all too apparent and I would like to help you. That is my duty to this school."
"Well, what do you want me to do?!" Snape cried in exasperation, no longer fearing the entity in front of him. "Would you want me to tell you how much I missed you? Or how much I regret what happened that night? Or how about you and I share stories about the past and how I wished you've left for America as you should have done."
"If there is one thing I know about pain, despair or guilt, it is that it has a focal point. If your pain was just merely trying to get over the death of somebody you love, I would most certainly have not manifested. But it's more than that. So tell me, what do you wish to say to Mary?"
Snape took in the sight before him. Memories swirled around his mind as he pictured how they had progressed in their relationship. From staring at the Thestrals to dates at Hogsmeade, to their first kiss. He recalled how beautiful Mary's eyes looked as she stared at him with such passion that he could almost feel himself floating. Mary had taught him how it felt to be loved and for that, Snape would be forever grateful. He could feel his eyes starting to water as he imagined her in front of him, grazing his cheek with her soft, supple hands as if she never left.
"I miss you. I miss you so much, Mary. You're such a good person and I took you for granted. You made me feel something only my mother could have evoked in me. Before I met you, I was this selfish, stubborn and obstinate little boy who just wanted to be loved. I was blinded by others, especially Lily and when you came, I thought, maybe you would at least help me through that. But you became so much more."
Snape could not stop the tears from falling down as he placed his hands on his face. Through the spaces between his fingers, Snape stared at Mary who was smiling at him, though he could see, that tears were streaking down her cheeks as well.
"Do you know what it feels like to be loved? To know that the person you're holding in your arms is pulling you tighter because she wants to be with you? To hear her say words that have meaning because she gave it to you along with her heart? For each time that I kiss you, to feel that force on your lips that you press so firmly onto mine, it made me less frightened and more confident that you actually want to spend the rest of your life with me. Mary, I'm not the guy that girls cry over. I'm not the guy that they admire or feel attracted to when I walk by. I'm just an ordinary guy before I met you and you made me feel more than ordinary. When I was with you, it felt…it felt magical."
Thoughts swirled through his head at a frightening pace. Images of Mary holding his hand and kissing him. Images of her running in anger before he met with Regulus and of her yelling at him for wanting to practise the Killing Curse. Images of them breaking up. Images of them at the forest of Godric Hollow before the attack began. And finally, the image of her staring at him as she lay dead on the snowy ground of the night. It was then that Snape felt him. A great surge of anger rushing throughout his veins as he glared at the image of Mary on the portrait. He could feel his nails cutting into the skin of his palm as he clenched his fists. A blinding rage was starting to engulf him and he wanted nothing more than to get it out.
"How could you have been so stupid?! All you had to do was stay with Molly and Arthur and instead you come running back like some fucking heroine trying to save the day? If you had gone with them, if you had left, you would still be alive! But no, you had to come back, didn't you?! You came back and instead of stopping the Hooded Man through a disarming spell or a stunning spell or…I don't know… a FUCKING SNOWBALL, you decide to throw yourself in front of me?! ALL FOR WHAT?! TO BE SOME NOBLE FUCKING HERO THAT SAVED MY LIFE?! AND YOU DARED TO YELL AT ME ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD FEEL IF I DIED?! WELL, CONGRATS! THE SHOE'S ON THE OTHER FOOT! YOU'RE DEAD, MARY! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GO TO AMERICA! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE A FAMILY OR KIDS OR EVEN SEE IF WE COULD HAVE WORKED THINGS OUT. YOU'RE DEAD! AND YOU'RE NEVER COMING BACK!"
Snape grabbed the radio which was no longer playing and threw it against the portrait. It shattered in pieces upon its impact although Mary appeared to be unaffected. Seeing her sympathetic expression still on her face infuriated Snape further.
"FUCK YOU! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU AND ALICE!" Snape roared as the heat emanating throughout his body started to rise. "I could have accepted death, there and then. If it had been me, I would have been okay. Why couldn't you have just thrown yourself at him? Why did you wear that stupid cloak and jump in front of him? Was this because I saved you all those years ago from Avery and Mulciber that you felt you had to do the same for me?! Why am I even talking to you? Are you supposed to give me answers? You're not even Mary, you're nothing more than a poor imitation of her! Fuck you for making me feel this way. Go on, get the fuck out! I don't want to see you anymore! JUST FUCKING GO!"
Mary nodded her head feebly as she drifted further into the portrait. Snape watched as her form started to shrink while she move backward until there was nothing more but the darkness of the background staring back at him. The white walls of the room remain but it no longer had the bright atmosphere of a heavenly place. Instead, it felt cold inside the vastness of the room as Snape crashed on the couch. With Mary gone, Snape retreated further into his seat as he allowed the overwhelming sense of loneliness to wrap its cloak around him.
"Why did you leave me, Mary?"
As the tears trickled down his face, Snape hugged his body as if wrapping himself in some invisible cloak while he laid on the white couch as Mary did on the snow, their eyes as lifeless as one another.
…
"Remind me again why we can't ask anyone of the Order to help?" Frank asked as the group sat in an isolated corner of a café in London. Snape had already cast the Silencing Charms as he sat, huddled between James and Lily.
"Because it has to be a covert operation," James answered as his eyes darted around the room. "Look, right now, no one besides us and Dumbledore know about the Horcruxes. We're all not official members of the Order so there's going to be less suspicion on us. To everyone else, we're just a group of teenagers going on a road trip after our graduation. None will be the wiser."
"Okay, but why can't we ask for help from Moody or ask Arthur to follow us?" Peter pleaded as others gave murmurs of agreement. James sighed exasperatedly as he placed his hand on Peter's shoulder.
"Because, Peter, I'm willing to bet that as of right now, Voldemort has spies on all the members of the Order. If even a single member knew what we were up to, someone could use Legilimency or Veritaserum to coax it out of them. We can't have that. And before you ask it, no, we can't ask them to come with us. Think about what the Death Eaters would say? Alastor Moody just decided to chaperone a teenager's road trip? Or Arthur Weasley abandoning his family, when there's no real threat on him yet? And let's not forget the most important reason why can't do that."
James paused for a moment as all eyes turned to the empty chair between Alice and Dorcas. Ever since she died, the group had been leaving gaps whenever they gathered, as if hoping that somehow an invisible presence of Mary still stood with them in the group. Snape could see many eyes starting to water as he too, gratefully, felt the sadness start to rise within him.
"We have to avenge our friend. We owe it to Mary, guys. There's no one else I would want on this mission. We're the DA." James said as he stuck out his hand on the centre of the table. The rest of the group followed suit, placing one hand above the other. Through the warmth of their hands and fingers, Snape felt a strong sense of pride and determination surge throughout his body. As he looked around the table, his gaze was met with similar stares of hardened resolve.
"So what do we do, James?" Remus asked. James turned his head to Snape, who look startled at the gesture. He had gotten used to James taking charge. Not wanting the tension to turn awkward, Snape cleared his throat as he motioned for the rest to get closer.
"Now, we know so far that there are four likely Horcruxes that Voldemort made which are the locket, ring, cup, and diadem. There's also a fifth, which I recently found out from Regulus." Snape said as he informed the group about the diary.
"I knew it! I knew Voldemort opened the Chamber!" James said triumphantly.
"You guys realised what this means," Lily exclaimed. "We already have the location of one known Horcrux."
"Yeah, only that it's in the most heavily guarded house in all of Britain." Dorcas reminded the group glumly. "Not to mention that's where Voldemort probably is, most of the time."
"Hey, you think he might have put a Horcrux inside the Chamber?" Alice asked as everyone turned to her. "I mean, it makes sense. No one knows about the location. It would be secure."
"I think you're on to something there, Alice," Snape said as he watched a faint blush appear on Alice's cheeks. He also spotted Frank looking slightly cross.
"I mean…" Snape stammered as he composed himself. "I mean, think about it. What do we know about Slytherins?"
"That they're all a bunch of arrogant, pretentious fools?" Sirius chuckled while the rest looked stunned. "What?"
"It's nothing, mate," James said as he patted Sirius on the back. "Just that none of us expected you to use the word pretentious."
"Ha-ha," Sirius cried sarcastically. "Can we please move this along?"
"Right," Snape said as he continued to explain. "If you had a part of your soul locked away in an object and you knew that the destruction of it can lead to you losing your life, you would want to put it in a place that's secure."
"But I wouldn't put it in Hogwarts," Frank replied dryly as he glared at Snape. "Why even hide it in Britain? I would scatter it all over the globe. He's already made one dumb move in putting his soul inside of trophies instead of, I don't know, a grain of sand, perhaps? Why risk putting it in places where there's a possibility of people running into it."
"But not the Chamber." Alice protested. "Think about it. A place where reputedly a monster resides and where Voldemort, and only Voldemort, knows the location? It's the perfect hiding place."
"Which makes it all the more difficult to access it." Peter sighed as everyone turned to him. "Guys, let's face it. It's hopeless. Voldemort could have hidden these Horcruxes anywhere."
"Not necessarily," Snape replied. "Like Sirius said, Slytherins are arrogant fools and no one is more arrogant than Tom. He would have consider these Horcruxes to be like trophies and you wouldn't very well stick a trophy you're proud of at some dusty, forgotten cupboard. He would have placed these trophies in places of sentimental value. The diary being at Malfoy Manor, the heart of the Death Eater operations? I think Voldemort did place one in Hogwarts. We should look into it."
"We would need something that can detect Horcruxes," Remus said thoughtfully. "Like a spell of some kind."
"Probably would need to go to Dark Arts books for that. Maybe the Restricted Section?" Dorcas added.
"Okay but before we do that, there is a lead we need to look into," Snape said as he exchanged a look with James. "Dumbledore told us that Slughorn would be retiring this year. Going on a vacation or something like that. He needs us to catch and talk to him."
"Why?" Peter asked.
"Because back when he was a student, Voldemort was apparently very close to Slughorn. If you're going to make Horcruxes, you would need all the help you can get so there's a high possibility that the two have communicated previously."
"Never liked that Slughorn. Typical Slytherin." Sirius growled.
"Nevertheless, someone needs to talk to him," James spoke as he took charge. "Snape here will go and meet with Slughorn today in his office. I want someone to accompany him."
"I'll go." Alice volunteered as Snape pushed against the tide of joy that had slowly bubbled to the surface.
"No, I'll go," Lily replied as Snape noticed a cross look on her face, similar to Frank's though he noticed that Lily was glaring at Alice rather than him. "Slughorn likes the two of us. We're the top of his potions class." Snape felt himself fidgeting in his seat. He could sense the tension between the two girls while Frank still looked slightly miffed at him. Fortunately for Snape, James had swooped in.
"On second thought, I will accompany Snape to meet Slughorn," James said firmly. "He's still packing up in his office. Sirius, you head down to the Burrow. Convince Arthur to let us borrow Perkin's tent, the one he used four years ago."
"Ahhh, what a game. Syria beat Madagascar and that fool Royston Idlewind resigned. I won four galleons on a bet!" Sirius exclaimed while nodding excitedly.
"Focus!" James said. "The rest of you will go home today and pack your things. Go to Diagon Alley and get bottles of Dittany, healing potions, anything you will need for in a fight. Put Extendable Charms on your bags so you can fit all your clothes in as well as food. Tell your family that you're going on a road trip and if there are any protests, say that it's Dumbledore approved. He helped draft a letter should you need it. If word gets out about what we're doing, then we would have to be on our own so be prepared. Let's reconvene at the Shrieking Shack at dawn tomorrow. Here, take these."
James passed around Sickles to each member. "They're fitted with a Protean Charm. It's how we will communicate from now on."
"So we're really doing this, huh," Frank said as he admired his Sickle. "Nine teenagers hunting down Horcruxes."
"Not to forget, once we've destroyed them all, we would still need to take on Voldemort," Dorcas interjected as Peter sighed.
"We're really screwed. How are we supposed to take on the Darkest wizard of all time? This is crazy!"
"Don't fret, Peter," James spoke as he comforted his friend. "You're a Gryffindor. All you need is your courage, your strength, and your friends."
"Not to mention, luck. Lots of luck." Snape chuckled as a strange thought crossed his mind.
…..
"Seven?! He made seven Horcruxes!" James roared as he punched against the wall in frustration. "Damn it Slughorn! Why didn't you tell anyone about this! Now we have to find two more items!"
"Actually, I believe we don't have to," Snape said as James gave him a confused stare. "The seventh Horcrux would have to be inside of Voldemort himself, he needs to keep part of his soul there. We already know that he made five and is looking for one more, preferably an artefact of Gryffindor which we both know, he won't get so easily."
Snape watched as James paced about the deserted Gryffindor common room. They had gone straight there after talking to Slughorn, whom Snape had suspected wouldn't willingly part with such knowledge that would have made him a pariah within the wizarding community. Fortunately, he and James had taken some of the Felix Felicis potion that Lily and Snape had prepared beforehand, allowing them to capitalise on Slughorn's guilt and coercing him into talking about his conversation with Tom Riddle all those years ago.
"Do you think Alice is right?" James blurted out randomly as Snape gave him a puzzled look. "That Voldemort might have placed it here within the castle? Like in the Chamber of Secrets?"
"It's worth looking at," Snape replied as James merely nodded along while pacing furiously around the common room. He could understand James's impatience. James was a man of action, always willing to move forward rather than stay at one spot. His eagerness to fly into action was what literally helped him to many victories on the Quidditch pitch. Willing himself to do the same, Snape got up from his seat and walked towards the door.
"I'm going to the library to do research on the Chamber. Let's meet up with Sirius for dinner at Hogsmeade." Snape said as James merely nodded, his thoughts elsewhere. Walking down the tower, Snape soon found himself at a familiar part of the seventh-floor corridor.
All thoughts of Horcruxes and Chambers vanished from his mind as Snape recalled his last visit to the Room of Requirement. After his breakdown in the room, Snape had felt a large weight lifted from his shoulders as he emerged out. He had assumed the room to be gone forever, its purpose served as Snape felt ready to focus on the task at hand. Yet as he passed the tapestry, there it was. The familiar red door stood tall in front of him.
Snape could a feel a part of him wanting to make his way towards the library and yet, a stronger part was pushing him to the door. Giving in to his curiosity, Snape made his way inside the vast, white room once more where the couch laid in front of the portrait with the radio intact, playing the Bob Dylan song.
Mary was smiling at him once more as Snape heaved a sigh before making his way to the couch. He grunted before throwing himself on the couch while staring at the image of Mary before him.
"Why are you still here?"
Despite the nature of his words, there was no contempt inside Snape's voice. Instead, it seemed to have dulled to a passive state with a mild sense of curiosity.
"Isn't it obvious?" Mary replied as she grinned at Snape. "We're not done yet."
"I'm not going to apologise." Snape cried out adamantly as he folded his arms.
"Why should you? You did what you needed to do." Mary replied in her gentle voice. "One should never apologise for wanting to let out their feelings."
"Well, we've done that and I feel better so if you don't mind…"
"Do you have other things to do?"
"As a matter of fact, I have," Snape said before hesitating. He had almost divulged the secret of the Horcrux Hunt.
"You can tell me," Mary said as if sensing Snape's reluctance. "I only appear to you and I have kept many secrets." Realising that Mary was right, Snape explained about the mission to find the Horcruxes.
"Fascinating," Mary said before breaking out in a fit of giggles. Snape was flabbergasted. He didn't expect such a reaction.
"Forgive me," Mary spoke as she composed herself. "It's just I find the idea of one trying to suppress death quite ludicrous. Do all you wizards think that immortality is a gift?"
"Well…" Snape paused before answering. Mary frowned upon Snape's reaction.
"Interesting," Mary exclaimed as she sat down with her legs crossed. "Why would anyone want to conquer death? It would seem to me that immortality would be a curse rather than a gift."
"Why would you say that?" Snape asked curiously.
"Well, because, if one was immortal, it would mean there is no end in sight. One would continue to exist for centuries and centuries to come, like a ghost, seeing the world pass by day after day. Even if this Voldemort of whom you speak does manage to get immortality, what would he do once he conquers the world?"
"Rule it, of course."
"And then what? Make the world in his image? Torture generation after generation? Wouldn't it get boring? After he has accomplish every goal he has sought after, there would be nothing left. Nothing to do but exist day after day. If anything, I feel sorry for him."
"Sorry for Voldemort?!" Snape cried incredulously.
"Yes, sorry." Mary continued, ignoring Snape's reaction. "Imagine you're eating an ice cream. With every lick, the ice cream gets smaller and smaller. You know that eventually it will be all gone but the ice cream tastes so delicious that you wish you could eat it forever. But you know you can't so what do you do? You savour it. Every lick, every bite becomes meaningful to you in some way. But what if the ice cream didn't melt? What if you could continue licking it forever? Eventually, the delicious taste will turn stale and your joy becomes tiresome to the point you can no longer appreciate the beauty that it once was."
"Perhaps," Snape said after giving it some thought. "But it doesn't change what we're doing."
"You're right, of course," Mary replied. "I merely wanted you to realise that death, despite how tragic it may be, is still very much needed. Death adds beauty and meaning to life."
"I've already told you how I felt," Snape said irritably. The initial fear and awe at the sublimity of the room had long since evaporated. He had more pressing matters to attend to. As such, a thought struck Snape.
"Do you happen to know where the Chamber of Secrets is built? We think there might be a Horcrux there."
"The Chamber was constructed after my time by Salazar himself and though I am what you may call the heart of Hogwarts itself, I cannot sense its presence. Nor will it be of any use to you as according to legend, only the Heir of Slytherin may open the Chamber."
"Which would make it a good hiding place." Snape sighed.
"Good, yes, but not quite the most effective," Mary answered as her blue eyes twinkled. "You said so yourself that the diary opens the Chamber which would mean that your Voldemort intends to do the same. It would thus be too risky having a Horcrux lead to the discovery of another Horcrux. With the Chamber open, its security would be less secure."
"Where else would Voldemort put it?" Snape groaned. "We're certain he should have left one at Hogwarts. This was his school, after all, his home. It's of special value to him. Where else in Hogwarts could you hide a Horcrux?"
Mary smiled knowingly at Snape who took a moment for the thought to register.
"Here?!"
"Where else?"
"But there's nothing here but you and these items!" Snape replied as he pointed towards the couch and radio.
Mary gave a slight chuckle. "Remember what I told you? You need to ask me specifically for what you need. As long as you step out of my room and ask me specifically for what you need, I will provide. I will save you some trouble though. I cannot provide you with the Horcrux specifically. I don't even know if it is in here but I can tell you this. That boy you speak of, Tom Riddle, he was in here before."
Snape gasped as he stood from his couch. "So he did hide something in Hogwarts! I knew it!"
"Go out, pace three times and ask me for the place where all things are hidden. I believe that is where you might find what you seek."
Snape thanked Mary before bolting from the room. He could feel his eagerness growing inside of him. Once he was outside, Snape began to pace back and forth across the corridor, his mind racing over and over. Yet no matter how many times he tried, the door simply did not appear.
Come on! Snape thought angrily as he stopped pacing before focusing all his energy on the wall. I need to find the place where Tom hid it. The place where things are hidden!
Almost instantly, Snape could see a door materialise in front of him though this was dark brown compared to red that he was used to. Holding his breath, Snape reached for the handle before pushing the door slowly. His eyes widened at the sight of what was in front of him.
"Merlin's beard!" Snape cried as he realised just how much harder their task was going to be.
…
"You got to be shitting me." James cried as he and the DA stared at the daunting task at hand.
Though the room with Mary was huge in itself, it was nothing compared to the Room of Hidden Things as Snape named it. There were towering stacks and stacks of items piled on top of each other, some as large as hills dwarfing anyone who entered the place. Countless items from forgotten paintings, to books, to old broken brooms, filled the Room and as they gazed up at the huge piles in front of them, several members of the DA could only shake their head in response. Snape couldn't even see the walls of the room as they were hidden behind gigantic stacks.
"This place is ENORMOUS!" Sirius shouted as his voice echoed throughout the walls.
"Are you sure the Horcrux is hidden here?" James asked.
"Positive," Snape replied. He had already informed them about how he came about the room, only substituting the portrait of Mary for another made-up portrait which told him about Voldemort's visits to the room. For some reason, Snape wanted to keep the secret of Mary all to himself.
"Well, how are we supposed to find it?" Peter said while scratching his head.
"We don't even know what we're looking for," Frank added. "It could be the locket, ring, cup or diadem."
"Or nothing at all." Remus sighed.
"What about a Summoning spell?" Dorcas proposed as Snape shook his head.
"I tried that. I tried summoning all four items but nothing seems to work. It's either the enchantment of the Horcrux or the enchantment of the Room or both. Either way, we can't Summon it."
"Not to mention, how are we supposed to know if an item is a Horcrux," Alice spoke as she kicked a pile of books in the corner.
"Well, according to Snape, Regulus did mention feeling a sense of dread when he was near the diary." Lily reasoned. "This item has Dark magic in it. We can probably sense it."
"Great so let's just split up and go look for it," Sirius said sarcastically. "We split into teams and go through each stack day by day until we find it. I wonder how long that is going to take us. Right, James? James?!"
Sirius turned to James who was no longer on the ground. Instead, James had taken a broom and flown up to the roof of the Room before flying back down again.
"It's not as bad as it looks," James said once he touched down. "I've seen the wall. It's not far ahead, just hidden by the stacks. We should go through the items one by one."
"You can't be serious!" Frank exclaimed. "Do you have any idea how long that's going to take us."
"We don't have much time." James continued, ignoring Frank. "We have three months until the start of school, by which we have to come up with some way to continue searching. If by the end of the year, we haven't found anything then I say we move on. We can all be on the road and we'll start on places Tom visited. Maybe we will get lucky."
"Lucky!" Sirius said turning to Snape and Lily. The pair exchanged looks at each other before Lily spoke.
"We're out of Felix Felicis, Sirius." Lily sighed. "Not to mention the potion takes six months to concoct and even then we can't be sure of its success. Besides, Felix Felicis can only be consumed sparingly. James and Severus can't take any more for quite some time."
"Why not?" Peter asked.
"Because of its side effects. You can only create a small amount of Felix and even then, continued use of it can make you delusional, not to mention kill you. The recommended use is once every year so James and I will have to wait a bit." Snape answered.
"Nevertheless, we would still need it. Make another one as soon as you can." James said to Lily who merely nodded.
"Even then it would take six months," Dorcas spoke. "Isn't there a better way to do this?"
"Like what? I'm open to suggestions." James said as he looked at the group. No one gave a reply.
"What will we do if we find it?" Peter said, after some time. "Do we know how to destroy it?"
"One problem at a time, Peter. Let's just find it here. I know, it seems hard but we have to…."
"Hard?" Frank said as he stood up from the chair he was seated in. "Hard? This is freaking impossible, mate! You want us to spend our time here, on a hunch we don't even know if it's right!"
"Why? Is there somewhere you need to be?" James said irritably.
"I'm just trying to be realistic," Frank replied, backing down.
"Frank's right," Dorcas said. "Is this the best use of our time?"
"The best use of your time?" James said indignantly as he stood up on a desk before yelling. "What do you guys think we would be doing when we agreed to hunt down Horcruxes? Do you think there's some map where X marks the spot? Look, you guys better get on board with this. All we know is that Voldemort made seven Horcruxes and we know what five of them are! We know where one is but we can't hit Malfoy Manor just yet. We know we have to destroy all six Horcruxes before we can kill the last one that resides in Voldemort. These Horcruxes could be anywhere! It could be here, it could be at Hogsmeade, at Gringotts, hell, even out of Britain! Right now, one of us here has good intel that one of the Horcruxes could be here. I say we stop wasting time and start looking!"
James got down from the desk as he approached the group. Snape could see that he was trying to compose himself.
"Look, nobody said this was going to be easy. This hunt could take weeks, months, maybe even years. Even then, we don't have much time. Each day, Voldemort grows in power and he will consume the world unless we do something about it. I know that some of you just want to wait for your NEWT results and go have a career. I want that too. But none of that is going to happen unless we stop Voldemort. He killed our friend, guys. HE KILLED MARY!"
Upon mentioning Mary's name, Snape could see the sadness in everyone's eyes. It was only then that Snape truly realised how everyone in the DA was still affected by Mary's death. He could see it dawning on each member, the truth behind James's words. They were the only ones who knew his secret, the only ones who could stop him. They couldn't afford to fail.
"I can work on the potion," Lily spoke, breaking the silence. "Someone should work on finding out how to destroy Horcruxes, maybe work with Dumbledore."
"I have an idea," Remus spoke as everyone turned to him. "I don't think we should give up on ways to detect Horcruxes. Maybe we could charm an object that will lead us to it. Think about it. A Horcrux is an object of immense Dark energy. Something that powerful could surely attract something."
"But Remus," Severus said. "Even if we could enchant an object, it would need to be done using Dark Magic. According to my research, a Horcrux would defend itself from any form of Light Magic being used."
"So we just need a Dark Wizard. Anyone has any Slytherins on speed-dial?" Sirius chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood.
"No mere Slytherin can pull this off." Snape sighed. "It would have to be a Dark Wizard of enormous capacity and even then, someone who's willing to go against Voldemort. But I can't see any Dark Wizard doing something like that, let alone keeping it a secret. Face it, we don't know of anyone who fits that description."
"Maybe we do," Remus said as he smiled.
….
As Dumbledore appeared onto the snowy mountaintop, he noticed the grey skies above the derelict castle. The castle itself was Unplottable and had Anti-Apparition charms. Although Dumbledore was able to bypass those charms, most of it set by himself, he rather fancied a short walk on a hidden path located behind the castle through the mountain terrain. It had been quite a journey from Albania to Austria so Dumbledore made himself a Portkey, knowing full well that to request one from the Ministry would have entailed a series of questions he rather not waste his time on. Time was precious to him, after all.
Having been informed of the Horcruxes as well as the Room of Requirement, Dumbledore marvelled at how, despite his long age, he still had much to learn about the magical world. Indeed, the Room had not come as a surprise to him, he himself had been in there whilst it was a bathroom but never appeared before Dumbledore again. The Horcruxes, however, were an entirely different matter. Though he promised to leave the task to James and his crew, his curiosity had forced him to return to the places that Tom was reputed to have gone, most notably in Albania. Perhaps he should have looked into places from his memories. Dumbledore made a mental note to visit the Gaunt shack once more as he arrived at the front of the castle.
Though the Ministry used Azkaban as a prison, there were other magical prisons as well. Some wizards and witches did crimes on an international level and jurisdiction as well as red tape made it difficult to decide where to place them. Dumbledore took a moment to reflect on the fortress that stood before him.
Nuremgard Castle.
A shiver went up his spine as Dumbledore recalled the history of the place. He knew this place well, of course, having place many criminals behind bars here but none came close to the most dangerous one, the one who used to rule this castle before Dumbledore took him down in 1945. The castle was impressive in the old days, used primarily for duelling and for storing those who were unfortunate to fall beneath the feet of his foe. For a moment, Dumbledore could see the words that were once carved over the entrance, a slogan that Dumbledore himself once believed in.
For the Greater Good.
Indeed, it was Dumbledore thought sadly as his mind drifted to earlier times. A guard welcomed him at the entrance and took him to the highest tower. As he walked up the steps to the top-most cell, Dumbledore reached into his robes. He had the Elder Wand in his hand but the other grasp another shorter, smaller wand as well as a box that shook slightly upon his touch. Once they reached the top, the guard descended while Dumbledore peered through the small viewing hole at the door. The room much too narrow for a man to leave or enter and it had a small window. There, underneath the blanket, laid an old, wizened man staring back at him with similar blue eyes as if trying to sense if he, Dumbledore, was real. His hair was no longer its familiar blonde but instead grew long and white. Dumbledore cleared his throat before speaking in a calm voice.
"Hello, Gellert. How are you?"
Once Dumbledore spoke, the man rose to his feet quickly as if drawing strength from Dumbledore's voice. The man approached slowly as he shook with each step. Putting his wand against the door, Dumbledore lifted the charms and unlocked the door. Though this was most definitely not allowed, Dumbledore knew he had no choice. He needed to speak to Grindelwald and a wooden door would only be an annoying obstacle.
"Albus. How long has it been?" Grindelwald spoke in a hoarse yet clear voice, his eyes never leaving Dumbledore's face.
"I need your help, Gellert. Perhaps you heard of Lord Voldemort?"
Dumbledore had ignored Grindelwald's question for several reasons. He knew that Grindelwald, like Voldemort, was a master manipulator and had, in the past, manipulate him as well. Dumbledore had cautioned himself into playing Grindelwald's game. He would not allow himself to be swayed like in the past.
"You came to meet me to talk about him? You insult me, my friend." Grindelwald chuckled, his confidence clearly returning. "I thought that I've seen a ghost."
"Maybe I am. After all, we are dead to each other." Dumbledore replied coldly, his mind reliving the horrors of the past.
"You could have done that years ago, Dumbledore. And yet, you refused. Must be difficult." Grindelwald said as he leaned against the wall. "Having to let me live."
"Only for you to fulfil a purpose, I know not what then but I do know now," Dumbledore said as he removed the shaking box and the wand. "I need your help."
"You're going to give me a wand?" Grindelwald said incredulously.
"You'll need one though not as good as the one I have, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said as he smirked before throwing the small wand at Grindelwald. Grindelwald looked shocked as he held the wand before smiling at Dumbledore.
"I'll bite. What do you want of me?" Grindelwald asked as Dumbledore opened the box.
"Tell me, Gellert, what do you know of Horcruxes?"
…
"It's been months!" Snape roared as he threw himself on the couch from exhaustion. The search had not gone well and they were no sooner to discovering the Horcruxes as the Chudley Cannons were to a Quidditch title. The only piece of good news was that Dumbledore had discovered a way to detect Horcruxes but even then, it would take time. Grindelwald was not the easiest person to work with and Snape felt guilty even asking Dumbledore of such a task. Nevertheless, it was crucial that they kept going. School had already started and Lily's Felix potion needed another four months to brew.
"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. Rowena once said that to me. She heard it from a famous Chinese wizard during her days travelling the Orient." Mary sat as she leaned against the side of her portrait while playing with her hair.
"Yes, but it's far too slow." Snape retorted. "Are you sure you can't just tell us the location? We don't even know if we're looking in the right place."
"Maybe we ought to be talking about other things?" Mary asked as she gave Snape a hopeful look.
"Like what?"
"Well, for a start, let us talk about you…"
"No," Snape said firmly as he averted his gaze.
"Why are you being so stubborn?"
"Why are you being so persistent?" Snape yelled back as he glared at Mary. "I'm fine. We just need to find the Horcruxes."
"You are not fine." Mary insisted as she shook her head. "I've been trying to get you to open up for months and though you claim not to need me, here I am, present as always. What are you afraid of, Severus?"
"I'm not afraid of anything. I just prefer we don't speak of it." Snape replied curtly.
"But we need to, Severus. Just like the Horcruxes, dealing with death is a long and arduous journey. You can't just leave it like that."
"Why not?" Snape countered. "Why can't I leave it unfinished?"
"Because that is what's bothering you." Mary sighed as she stood. "You perceive life like a book. With a beginning, a middle and an end. You see life as if you have to accomplish certain stages. From growing as a toddler, to school, to work, to marriage, kids and finally old age. But that's where you're wrong. Life isn't a book. It is more like a ball rolling down a hallway."
Snape said nothing as Mary continued to explain.
"When you are born, the ball starts rolling. It stops only when you die or when you reach the end of the hallway. So as the ball starts rolling in the hallway, the hallway itself isn't empty. There are a few obstacles in its path just like your brushes with death. Though the ball is supposed to reach the end of the hallway, sometimes its path is impeded by these obstacles. When Mary died, her ball hit one of these obstacles and stops but yours is still rolling, Severus."
"What about if someone were to be caught between life and death?" Severus asked, humouring Mary's assertion.
"Then the ball has hit a speed bump and can only decide if it were to roll forward or stop at the top of the bump." Mary giggle as Snape gave a light chuckle.
"This is all very interesting but I think I'm going to leave," Snape said as he stood up.
"I thought you cared for Mary, Severus. Guess I was wrong." Mary said in a soft whisper. Snape turned to face her.
"Of course I care about Mary. How could you say such a thing?" Snape said hotly. Mary shot Snape a glare as the latter shuddered under the gaze. He had not meant to upset the entity.
"You said you care for her and yet, here you are trying to find Horcruxes and go on this ridiculous quest just so you can avenge her death. Tell me Severus, is that what Mary would have wanted? For you all to go kill yourselves for her?"
"Of course not!" Snape replied instinctively though inside, he reluctantly admitted that Mary had a point. His Mary would have never want her friends to be in danger. "We want her avenge her death as well as make the world a better place. This has to be done."
"Don't lie to me, Severus. A huge part of your quest is because of Mary. In fact, I daresay it's only for Mary."
"No, it's not!" Severus snapped.
"Tell me Severus, was Mary a good person? Was she kind? Did she love you?"
"Yes, but I don't see-"
"Exactly!" Mary interrupted, stamping her foot on the ground. "You don't see! Mary loved you, Severus. She loved you. Do you think this is what she would have wanted? For you to work yourself up, throw yourself towards certain death, not wanting to move on? You don't honour the dead with vengeance, you honour it with the love you have for them, the same love that they have for you. Tell me, Severus, if you and Mary had switched places and you could see her now, would you honestly want her to go through what you and your friends are doing, fuelled by vengeance and rage? What would Mary want?"
Snape couldn't answer. He couldn't focus on Mary. Instead, his mind went back to a conversation he had with Lily years ago.
To truly love someone…it means to care for them more than you care about yourself
"If I were in Mary's shoes, I would want her to move on," Snape whispered as the portrait of Mary smiled at him.
"Wouldn't she want the same for you?"
Yes, she would thought Snape as he looked up at the portrait.
"I know what you're feeling, Sev. Your guilt for that particular thought at Godric's Hollow all those months ago. But you can't go around feeling guilty. I may not be Mary but I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, she would have wanted you to be happy and to move on. Her ball has stopped but yours continue to roll. Honour her memory, Severus."
With that Mary departed from the portrait, leaving nothing but a empty background staring back at Snape.
…..
Snape threw aside the pile of books in front of him as he collapsed into a chair. It was almost the end of December and they were no closer to finding the Horcrux. Ever since the talk he had with Mary in the room, Severus soon found that he was unable to return to the room. Each time he pictured the red door, only the stone wall of the castle stared back at him. He had an idea, of course, of why the room wasn't showing himself to him.
"Hey, fancy a walk?"
Snape turned to see Alice smiling at him. He could the sweat dripping down her face as she straightened and tied up her brown hair. Her warm smile made his heart beat faster as he stared into her blue eyes. He merely nodded his head as Alice dragged him out of the room. Walking out of Hogwarts and into the grounds, Snape took a moment to relish the cool winter breeze flowing onto his face. He noticed the tent next to Hagrid's Hut where James had placed ever since school started. It was their living quarters while they stayed at Hogwarts. For a moment, he thought Alice would be bringing him there but instead, she went past the hut towards a very familiar place.
"I guess we can all see them now," Snape said as he and Alice sat in front of the Thestrals who were now resting beneath a huge birch tree.
"I can't believe this is what you and Mary saw every time you came here. I always thought those carriages pulled themselves." Alice replied as Snape noticed how she leaned against him. They rarely had a moment like this for the past year. He had spent the first half ignoring her while the second was spent finding the Horcrux.
"James said that we should wear black for New Years. You know, to mourn Mary." Snape said as he watched the beautiful witch next to him. Alice said nothing as she stared at the Thestrals, some of which were stirring in their sleep.
"How are you, Alice?" Snape said as he turned to face her. He could see her staring at the Thestrals though she had a frown on her face. Letting out a sigh, Alice turned to him.
"Frank and I broke up a week ago."
"What?!" Snape cried, out loud. "Are you okay?"
"Strangely, yes," Alice said with a sigh. "Frank and I haven't been good in months. After what happened to Mary, he got rather clingy to me. Overprotective. Not that I blame him, of course, who knows how I would have reacted if it was him who came that close to death. It's just with everything happening around us, the last thing we need is to be bogged down by romantic troubles."
"Surely it can't be all that bad." Snape reasoned though it pained his heart to say it. "Frank's a good guy, Alice."
"He is, I didn't say that he wasn't!" Alice replied defensively as Snape cringed under her tone. Alice noticed his reaction and gave Snape an apologetic look.
"Sorry. Force of habit. Dorcas has been bothering me though she and Remus seemed to be doing well. Look at us, James and Lily broke up, Frank and I broke up."
"Mary and me," Snape replied softly as Alice turned to stare at him before pulling him into a hug. He could smell her lavender perfume as he felt his best friend squeezing him tightly. The warmth of the embrace only intensified the heat that had been radiating throughout his body. Snape noted, though rather shamefully, that a certain part of him was responding happily as well.
"I wish it was me, you know," Alice said as she pulled away. "I rather the curse had hit me."
"No!" Snape said with such fervour that it shocked Alice. Giving her a sheepish look, Snape let out a sigh.
"You shouldn't say that. It shouldn't have been either of you. The curse was aimed for me."
"You can't expect us to sit there and do nothing." Alice cried.
"It would have been better," Snape replied as Alice stood up angrily.
"Better? Better for whom?" Alice yelled as she placed her arms on her hips. Her tone had disrupted the sleep of the Thestrals who were now awake and pacing about the tree.
"You think you should have died because it would be better?" Alice continued as she glowered at Snape. "Without you around, there be no one who would tell us about the Horcruxes and Voldemort would have continued to grow in power until we all die! Not to mention how devastated we would all be? James would be a wreck! Lily would go crazy! Mary would blame herself for running away and I…I would…I would lose my best friend. Do you have any idea what I would feel having to watch you die?"
"Yes, I would," Snape said as he stood in front of her. "I saw you die, in case you've forgotten, Alice."
"I just passed out from the impact of throwing myself at you!" Alice snapped.
"And I thought you died!" Snape snapped back. "I saw you there on the ground, not making a sound and I feared the worst. Do you know what it feels like, to touch your cold skin and see you lying there with your eyes shut while I screamed your name and begged you to wake up! You can't possibly imagine how it feels. When I thought you died, a part of me died as well and if that had happened, I prayed that the Hooded Man would kill me so that I would never have to live in this world without you, Alice! You're my best friend! You made me feel things, experience things that I never would have done in a million years! I can't survive with you, Alice. So much so that I even…"
Snape paused as he fell to the ground. He could feel the tears ready to fall once more.
"Even what?" Alice barked before seeing his expression and softening hers. "Even what?" Alice whispered as she sat in front of him. Snape took one look into her eyes and knew that this was it. This was the moment.
"You want to know why I never talked about Mary to anyone during those earlier months? It was because I was ashamed. I was ashamed and guilty for thinking something so awful. When I realised you were alive and that it was Mary who died, there was this thought stuck in my head."
"Which was?"
"That it was Mary who died and not you," Snape replied, realising that this was the first time he had revealed the truth. "I was her boyfriend, okay former boyfriend, so how could I have thought such a thing? So I threw myself into finding out her killer, finding out about Voldemort and the Horcruxes. I thought if I manage to defeat Voldemort, I could purge myself of this sickening feeling. I could honour her memory and feel better about myself. But I know now. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm just awful."
"No, Sev," Alice spoke as she cupped her hands on his face. "You're not."
"There's nothing you can say that –"
"I thought the same thing too," Alice whispered as she heaved a sigh.
"WHAT?!"
"When the curse hit you and I realise that Mary had saved you, I was upset by her death. Yet later, I thought to myself and yes, that thought crossed my mind as well. It's not an evil thought, Sev, just a human one." Alice said as her eyes sparkled with tears as well.
It was like being hit by the Knight Bus. Words failed him as Snape struggled to speak.
"You…thought…"
"I know." Alice sighed as she wiped the tears that were brimming from her eyes. "I know we're not supposed to choose. But just because I think that, doesn't mean I don't care for Mary nor do I mourn her in that way. Mary and I had a wonderful friendship, Sev and no one can ever take that away from us. I will always miss her and I will always love her. One day, if by some miracle, we all survive this, I'm going to tell my kids about her. About my friend Mary McDonald and how she stood up against evil to save someone I care about deeply."
"Alice…" Snape whispered as he felt himself leaning in towards her. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as all the noise around them vanished. There was only Alice, her brown hair, her blue eyes, her lips which started to tremble as Snape… "GUYS!"
The sound of somebody shouting broke Snape out of his trance as he and Alice rushed to their feet. Snape could see Peter standing just before Hagrid's vegetable patch, waving his hands frantically.
"James wants us all at the tent! We got something!"
Snape and Alice exchanged looks before running after Peter and into the enchanted tent. A long table was set in the middle of the room and Snape could see they were the last ones to arrive. He ignored a questioning look from Lily as he saw Frank avert his eyes as soon as Alice entered. Sitting himself next to James, he could see all eyes were on the tenth person in the room.
Dumbledore was beaming at them as he removed a small wooden box from his robes though he seemed to struggle with the task. He placed the wooden box on the table.
"I would like to say that I am proud of each and every one of you for the hard work you've put in these months. Suffice to say, I do apologise for not being able to be of assistance sooner but Grindelwald was quite a difficult person to work with, not to mention the charm took quite some time to create. I've heard that young Miss Evans here has been working hard on the potion and I'm quite happy to report that luck has come your way without any of you having to take a single drop."
Dumbledore opened the box and out flew a tiny golden ball with wings flying around the tent. James gasped as he caught it in his hands.
"A golden Snitch?" James said as he gave Dumbledore a puzzled look.
"This is no ordinary Snitch. This Snitch is able to sense the presence of a Horcrux should one be fortunate or unfortunate to be in the presence of one. The Snitch will help detect your Horcrux and from there, you can destroy it."
"We can finally stop searching!" Sirius roared happily as he gave the Snitch a nudge.
"But we still haven't found a way to destroy it." Lily cried as Dumbledore gave a light chuckle.
"Actually, I think I may have a solution that will assist you in destroying the remaining three Horcruxes."
"Don't you mean four?" Dorcas replied as Snape could see a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. There was another ruffling of the robes as Dumbledore placed what appeared to be a broken ring in front of them.
"You see, in my travels, I paid a visit to the Gaunt shack where I found…." Dumbledore's voice trailed off as Snape half-listened to Dumbledore's story on how he found the ring at the Gaunt shack and destroyed it Instead, most of his attention was on the infected right hand of Dumbledore which he tried to hide behind his back.
…..
"So you destroyed the diadem," Mary said in awe as she gave Snape a smile.
"Yes," Snape replied as he smiled back. "The snitch hovered around this old, discoloured tiara near a busted-up warlock. We used the sword of Gryffindor to destroy it and left the remains in the room. It's harmless now."
"And the sword was in the Hat all this time?"
"Yes, it was," Snape said as he stared at the radio which was silent. "Turns out Dumbledore knew where the sword was, all along. Just needed a true Gryffindor to pull it out so James took one hand in and out came the sword. Dumbledore placed Basilisk venom on the sword's blade. Basilisk venom is extremely potent which makes it a good way to destroy Horcruxes. As the sword is made of Goblin's silver, it imbibes substances which strengthens it, making it a useful tool for us."
"And you mentioned that Dumbledore took care of another Horcrux?"
"Yes, the ring. So that leaves us with the cup, locket, and diary. Unless, of course, Voldemort creates another one."
"I'm proud of you, Severus," Mary exclaimed as she beamed at him. "You managed to overcome your demons and now, you and your friends are going to save the world."
"Yeah, only took us like a year," Snape said jokingly as he and Mary shared a laugh before silence came between them once more. Snape watched as Mary stood up.
"This is the last time I'm going to see you, isn't it?" Snape spoke as a pained look crossed his face. Mary offered him a bittersweet smile.
"You don't need me anymore, Severus."
"It's just hard saying goodbye," Snape whispered as he took in the majesty of the room, for what must be the last time.
"Who said anything about goodbye, Sev?" Mary replied in a gentle voice as Snape approached her. "Don't forget, I'm not actually Mary. I'm just an illusion put forth so that I could help you with moving on. But you don't need me anymore, Sev. So I will no longer exist."
"Thank you." Snape cried as he offered Mary a bittersweet smile while trying to fight away the tears "Thank you for everything."
Snape stretched his hand as his fingers caressed the left cheek of Mary. Though all he felt was a smooth canvas, Snape could not help but shed a tear as he smiled at the image of the blonde-haired witch with piercing blue eyes. Mary would be forever etched into his memory as Snape took the moment to study every nook and cranny of her face. As he removed his hand from the painting, Mary took a step back as Snape was now aware that the brightness in the room appeared to grow by the second. He could hear the walls moving as they reverberated behind him while the whiteness of the walls started to brighten with each passing moment. In the light, Mary's skin began to glow as Snape was swept away by the radiance of his former love. He could hear the radio play that familiar song as Mary spoke to him while she started walking backward.
"Sev, could you do something for me? I know it's what Mary would have wanted."
"What is it?" Snape asked as Mary started to shrink in size. Her voice sounded so far away as Snape watched her fade into the darkness.
"Help the others," Mary called out as the brightness of the room started to blind him. When Snape opened his eyes, he found himself staring at the red door while he sat next to the tapestry of Barnabus. As he watched the red door start to shrink, Snape's thoughts turned to the room's final request.
…
"Sev, what's going on?" James asked as Snape watched the entire DA trudge out of the tent. He could see that they were all wearing black robes with the girls wearing black hair accessories as well. Snape said nothing as he pointed towards the ten items he had placed neatly on the ground, each with a name written on it.
"Fireworks?" Lily said as she and the others inspected the firework rockets in front of them.
"Why does it have our names written on it?" James demanded as the group turned their attention towards Snape. Snape turned to the castle which was mostly empty as it was New Year's. Snape cleared his throat as he looked up at the night. There were a few dark clouds but other than that, it was as clear as it could be with the stars shimmering throughout the sky.
"A year ago, we lost someone very important to us. And for the longest time, I was suffering and trying to deal with it the best way I can. All I could think about was how much I wanted to hurt those who took her from us and how much I just wanted to get my life back on track. But someone dear to me reminded me of something and just like at Hogwarts, I learnt a very important lesson."
Snape smiled as he stared back at the eight people hanging on his every word.
"We all cope in different ways. Some of us throw ourselves work, some of us shut down and some of us try to find someone to blame. We are all going on this Horcrux hunt because we want to avenge the loss of Mary. But Mary is dead, guys. She died a year ago."
Snape could see the pain in their eyes as he thought about that night. How he felt staring into her lifeless eyes as she laid on the snowy ground.
"But she isn't gone. Mary is always going to be with us and if she were here, I know she wouldn't want us to wallow in misery on this day of all days. Mary loved each and every one of us just like we loved her. And we owe it to her, not to rush into danger but to live our lives the best we can. To cherish and celebrate every moment we share. We had a year to mourn Mary but now, now we should celebrate her life instead. And when we go and destroy the Horcruxes, we do it not because of vengeance but because we want to make the world a better and safer place just as Mary would have strived to do so."
Snape glanced at James who was staring at him.
"James, I respect your idea of wanting to mourn for Mary but frankly, I'm tired of feeling down and gloomy while I relive the most horrifying day of my life. I rather spend it thinking about all the times she made us laugh and made us happy. We've given the Death Eaters enough power… I say we count down at the end of the New Year and let a rocket out at each second. There's ten of us so it's perfect. Let's celebrate our lives. "
Snape looked at his watch before pointing to the first rocket. "James, care to do the honours?"
"10!"
James raised his wand at the rocket which flew into the air, bursting into a million red sparks. The other members of the DA started to cheer as they lined up for their turn.
9
Sirius yelled as his rocket burst into waves of pink.
8
Remus could only laugh as his sparks formed the shape of a bright, brown wolf.
7
Peter looked pleased at the huge ball of yellow lights in the air.
6
Frank howled a Hufflepuff cheer as a gold badger raced through the clouds.
5
Dorcas gave Remus a kiss as a purple flower bloomed above them.
4
Everyone laughed at Lily's firework whose orange sparks formed a shape of a bottle which James dubbed the Felix Felicis firework.
3
Alice could only grin as two blue balls of lights formed in the sky, reflecting her eyes.
2
Snape exchanged looks with James and Sirius who pretended to be hurt as a long and green serpent-like light glided above Hogwarts.
"Last one!" Peter cried excitedly. "Quick, let's get it up there before the new year!"
"I hate to break it to you, Peter." Remus laughed as the others laughed along with him. "But it's already the new year. What we did definitely took more than ten seconds."
"Well, this is the new year for us then!" James said as he looked towards Snape. Instead of raising his wand, Snape took out a lighter before reaching to the ground and pulling up the fuse.
"I thought we light this up the Muggle way," Snape said as the lighter sparked the fuse to life. Watching the fuse burn, the DA placed their arms around one another.
"Get ready, guys. This one is special." Snape said as he watched the fuse. Somewhere at the back of his mind, a familiar tune started to play.
Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door
Snape and the others watched as the rocket titled Mary rose into the air at a dizzying pace before exploding into a myriad of colours. Yet instead of disappearing, the colours retreated back onto each other to form a figure. Snape could hear gasps as everyone stared up at the figure in the sky.Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
"Is that…" Alice whispered as Snape stared up at the girl waving at them while she flicked her long, blonde hair to the side. She was wearing her Hogwarts robes as she stared back at them with twinkling, blue eyes.
"Yes, it is," Snape said as he reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.
Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is comin' down
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door
Snape looked towards his friends as they all stared up at the image of Mary. He could see James tearing up while leaning on Frank, Sirius and Peter screaming in delight, Remus and Dorcas hugging one another while Alice and Lily waved up to the sky. As Snape stared back at Mary, he could only smile as the eyes which looked lifeless and cold a year ago now sparkled a brilliant shade of blue as she smiled down upon them.
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
"Happy New Year!" Snape yelled as loud cheers and laughter broke out into the night.
…
.
.
1979
He could hear the sound of waves pounding furiously on the cliffs behind him. Peering into the cave, Lord Voldemort took a moment to admire its grandeur as he stared into the darkness of the cavern with walls so high that the ceiling was barely visible to him. He smiled at the thought of his visits here as a child, particularly one where he brought Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop, two pathetic Muggles who would be forever traumatised by what he did to them. They were amongst the first to witness his power as he magicked them into the cave, a feat that was considered impossible even at his age for a wizard to accomplish.
Though he was born the previous day, Voldemort often acknowledged the first day of the year as the day he was born. It was not because he wanted to be younger but rather, Voldemort refused to share his birthday with the day his pathetic mother died while giving birth to him. Death was for the weak and his mother, who was as weak as he could possibly imagine, gave her life for his. But her sacrifice wasn't noble. Instead, it only fuelled his rage even further at the thought of his mother, a descendant of the grand Gaunt family, could ever lower herself by falling in love with a Muggle before succumbing meekly to a disease and a broken heart.
A wicked smile came upon his lips as Voldemort lifted the item in his hand. Under the faint rays of the moonlight, the golden locket shimmered brightly. Voldemort looked at the serpentine S that was on the locket, inlaid with glittering, green stones. It was easy for him to visualise it as a minuscule snake. Voldemort concentrated on the letter S, imagining a serpent, while the contents of the locket rattled like a trapped cockroach.
As Voldemort walked into the cave, he could not help himself as he released a wicked laugh. Tonight was the perfect night to begin and once he placed the locket inside, Voldemort would need someone or something to sacrifice themselves in order for him to test his defenses. As thoughts of house-elves ran through his mind, Voldemort continued to walk deeper and deeper inside the cave as the darkness of the cave swallowed him whole.
….
Well, that's it for now. I am glad to done with 1978 because, honestly, I am eager to reach 1979. You might have probably guessed by now that there's no way I can finish this in ten chapters. It might take a little longer but no worries, I am going to keep my original ending as well as end the story by the time we reached the earliest years of the 80s. See you soon and please review the story if you can. Thank you.
