"We're back from the Deep Roads," Rispy says cheerfully as he comes inside, followed by Tom. "Did we miss anything?"
"I helped some people avoid slavery," I say. "And failed to find a damned Qunari book. So, what happened down in the Deep Roads?"
"You want ol' Rispy to tell you the story, huh?" Rispy says. "Well, let's just sit down and get some tea, and-"
Tom holds up his hand and cuts him off. "We found a lyrium idol. Bartrand stole it and stranded us. Then we got out and came home."
"You're no fun," Rispy says, pouting at Tom.
"I didn't care to sit here for the next five hours while you rambled about how we saved that idiot dwarf," Tom says dryly.
"What happened to Saarebas?" I ask.
"See?" Rispy says to Tom. "If you'd just let me tell the story, we wouldn't have to explain that now."
"What's to explain?" Tom says with a shrug. "He's dead."
"Like, how it happened, maybe?" Rispy says. "Lexen's always overly concerned about people, after all."
"He got the blight sickness," Tom says. "I couldn't be bothered to perform a Ritual of Purification for him, so I put him down."
"I... see," I say hollowly at him.
"You going to be upset about that now?" Tom says, smirking and stepping up close to me.
"I'm not really happy about it," I say. "We could have saved him. He didn't have to die."
"He was already dead anyway, you know," Tom says.
"He was a slave. He never had a chance to be anything else."
"If you're so fussed about it, I'll go find you another pet Saarebas," Tom says with a snort.
"That's not the point," I say, then shake my head. "Just... never mind. I can't really expect anything else from you."
Tom stares at me quietly for several moments before saying, "I'm going to go talk to Mum. I want a new house." He turns and walks off.
I sigh inwardly. I'd been worried about him and Rispy. I'm been so worried, even though their bonds held steady and they hadn't died at all on their expedition. Now, I just don't know what to think anymore.
It's not long before we move out of Gamlen's hovel and into the old Amell estate, now the Hawke estate. We do, however, leave most of the enchantments on the Lowtown house intact in case we need a safehouse down there. And Gamlen is still living there, too. We did scale it down to a less extreme expansion, although it's still far nicer than a tiny, rundown hovel.
Merrill's Eluvian is carefully moved to a room in the new house, with buffered wards placed around the room to make sure that there's no magical interference on way or another. I'm hopeful to get it working. I want an alternative to the Nexus for travel between worlds.
Because I did try to return to the Nexus again, just to test and find out. And discovered that it's inactive again, and Torn Elkandu deserted. I died trying to get there, shortly after getting half a glimpse of a darkened, silent city underneath the swirling purple sky.
I don't understand what's going on. But I really hope that Suzcecoz doesn't figure it out first. She's dangerous enough as it is without having access to time travel herself somehow.
"I never thought I'd actually be living in this house," Malcolm Hawke comments as he strides through the mansion.
"It certainly beats Lowtown," Tom says. "I don't have to cast a Bubble-Head Charm every time I step outside the door here in Hightown."
"I do have to wonder about these dwarves that you seem to have picked up somewhere," Malcolm says, peering at Bodahn Feddic and Sandal.
"Are we bothering you or in the way, Messere Hawke?" Bodahn says.
"No, just wondering why you're here," Malcolm says. "Although with all the various vagabonds that have assembled, I probably shouldn't ask."
"Well, you see, in the Deep Roads, your son saved my son's life," Bodahn says. "So to repay him, I have sworn to serve him."
"I told you that was completely unnecessary," Tom says.
"However, if you're going to offer Sandal's enchanting services and are willing to fence whatever junk we might collect, I for one won't complain," I put in.
"Enchantment?" Sandal says, wide-eyed.
Tom glances sidelong at me, and then gives the dwarves a cold look. "Fine. You'd best make yourselves useful, though."
"Oh, we will, we will!" Bodahn assures him.
The baby is born. She looks just like me, with black hair and green eyes, although her ears are much pointier. I don't think anything of that until I remember that the elves in this world always produce humans when they breed with humans, for some reason.
"Are you certain that this is your child?" Fenris wonders after seeing her.
"Of course," I reply.
Kirlin snorts softly and says, "There's no way she could be anything else. Besides, I haven't exactly slept with any elves, ever."
"Well, my grandmother's an elf, so maybe the elf blood is just coming out again," I speculate.
Or, more to the point, perhaps the elven genes from my homeworld are coming out. The elves there look a little different, and crossbreeds definitely show traits from both parents. My own ears are slightly pointed, and I'm only a quarter elf, and my mother and her sister definitely have pointed ears, if smaller than my grandmother's.
Tom is inexplicably distant throughout the entire thing. He tries to act casual, but the warmth and affection is lacking. I have no idea what might be wrong. I can't just leave that be. One night, while I think we have the house to ourselves, I approach him. Kirlin is occupied with the baby, Merrill is busy with her mirror, the others are either asleep or out investigating rumors of dragons at a mine down the coast. I didn't care to actually have to fight a dragon if the rumors happen to be true, which they probably are.
"Lexen," Tom says as I come into his room. "Is there a problem?"
I close the door behind me and put up some quick spells to make sure that we aren't interrupted, just in case. Lock the door, muffle the sound, ward it as well.
"That's really unnecessary," Tom says. "I already have plenty of wards on it."
"I'm paranoid," I reply, stepping up toward him.
"What's this about, Lexen?" Tom asks.
"I'm wondering that myself," I say. "Ever since you got back from the Deep Roads, you've been... distant. Did something happen down there that you aren't telling me about?"
Tom narrows his eyes at me. "Lexen. Don't push."
"Or what?" I say. "What are you going to do?"
Tom glares. "You want to know what the problem is? You are. You and the sorts of people you attract. How Rispy dragged me along to rescue that moronic dwarf. I see it more and more, that you're all about saving people, helping people, utter foolishness."
"I've always been like that," I protest.
"And I am frankly getting quite sick of it. There's nothing I like better than watching you hurt and kill. And while we were out doing that in one world or another, that was fine. Even when you'd settled down with Cassie and were raising a family, you never stopped doing that. Now? You send out others to do your killing for you."
"What did you really expect of me?" I wonder.
"I expect that you'll hang around Kirkwall for the next decade, at least, and accomplish nothing," Tom replies, turning away.
"What the fuck?" I take a step closer to him.
Tom spins around and grabs my shoulder, and pins me against the wall. "Don't."
"What do you want of me, Tom?"
"I'm working on figuring out a way to take your power," Tom hisses, leaning close to me.
"What?" I shriek.
"If I can break off enough of your soul that it will still carry your Time Magic," Tom whispers. "Then I step through the Eluvian and... never see you again."
My entire body is shaking. "Tom..." I utter, my voice cracking.
"I've been speaking with Suzcecoz, you know," Tom says. "It turns out that she's quite the expert in Soul Magic. She has some pointers on how to accomplish this."
My heart is pounding. I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. Would he really do such a thing? I thought he loved me!
"Of course, it would be much simpler if I were willing to destroy you in order to do it," Tom says lightly. "Or even to reduce your existence to a little voice in my head. You could even watch. You could be with me forever that way, hmm? Wouldn't you like that?"
"No!" I snap. A crackling aura of electricity surrounds my body involuntarily, and Tom releases me and steps away hastily.
"Or would you let the world burn instead?" Tom says with a wicked grin.
"You will not do this to me," I snarl, clenching my fist. "They can all burn."
"That's what I thought," Tom says with a smug smirk. "I was wondering how far I would have to push you."
"Are you toying with me?" I growl.
Tom laughs lightly. "I've been manipulating you since the moment we met. You know this."
I should be more upset about that statement. But I know perfectly well that he has been.
"Yes," I murmur, letting my eyes slide shut.
Tom puts both of his hands on my shoulders. "Destroy all those who oppose you. Crush everything in your path. Give no mercy, show no doubt, bear no regret."
"I don't know if I can do that last part," I say quietly.
Tom chuckles darkly. "Fair enough. Why don't we put on some disguises and Bubble-Head Charms and head down to Lowtown or Darktown, and see if there's any dirty work to scrounge up, or at least some idiotic thugs to slaughter?"
"So interested in dirty work?" I wonder, raising an eyebrow. "That sort of thing isn't beneath you?" I quirk my mouth into a faint grin.
Tom leans over to murmur into my ear, "I just want to see you kill."
"Then yes," I say. "Let's."
He makes me want to kill. He makes me want to forget ever trying to do good or help people. I feel foolish for even trying, like I'm denying myself or my own desires.
We head out and down to Lowtown. There's never any shortage of thugs prowling the streets at night, and no one will miss them if we kill them. They aren't even worth using magic on and risking detection by someone who might report us to the templars. And besides, tearing them apart with a blade and watching their blood flow is thrilling.
"Yes..." Tom murmurs. "Beautiful."
As we're heading through Lowtown, I spot a woman dressed like a Chantry priest speaking with a group of thugs, and looks like she's asking for something. The group of them heads toward a nearby alley out of sight.
"Going to rescue the damsel in distress?" Tom says mockingly.
I snort softly. "I'm not too fond of the Chantry. Heh. Maybe I should kill them, make her think she's being saved, and then murder her?" I grin broadly. "They'll never know the difference, and the look on her face when she realizes she's been betrayed..."
"Mmm," Tom says. "Nah, see what she wants first. Perhaps she's looking for something bloody to be done that the Chantry can disavow knowledge of. Then kill her afterward for being a hypocritical Chantry priest."
We head in with weapons bared and cut a swath through the ill-intentioned thugs before they can harm the priest.
"Thank you for your assistance, although it was unnecessary," the woman says.
A templar steps in behind us, and I tense. I'm doubly glad we have been killing without visible magic tonight, just relying on enhancement magic that protects us or makes us stronger and faster.
"I am Sister Petrice. Perhaps you are interested in a job? I was looking for someone competent and willing to get their hands bloody, and the sort of people who would jump to someone's aid in an alleyway may be just what I'm looking for."
I give a small smirk that's thankfully probably hidden in the darkness. "What sort of job?"
Petrice glances around. "It's not safe to talk here. Let us speak further at my safehouse nearby."
She leads us down the street to a building that seems like pretty much every other building in Lowtown - rundown, looking like it's about to fall apart any minute and was constructed from scrap, and smelling of sewage. How she can stand it, I'm not sure, but I suppose she couldn't really expect better of the locale.
"Alright," I say, stepping inside and putting up a privacy charm silently just in case. "What's this about? And what are we being paid?"
"You'll be paid when the job is done, I assure you," Petrice says.
The templar escorts in an imposing figure, and my eyes widen as I recognize the Qunari as a Saarebas, all done up in chains as usual.
"Shocking, isn't it?" Petrice says upon seeing my expression. "Would even the Chantry treat mages in this manner? I call him Ketojan, a bridge between worlds."
"Is that even a Qunari word?" Tom wonders.
It is, but that's not exactly what it means. But close enough. It will suffice. I have to wonder where Petrice got her information. Regardless, I say nothing in response to that and stop gaping. I'm certainly not going to tell this priest about my association with the Qunari.
"We found him separated from his unit," Petrice says. "Obviously, we can't parade him through the streets without attracting unwanted attention. This building connects to the tunnels beneath Kirkwall. I need you to sneak him through the tunnels to the hills outside the city, where he can be free."
I give a short nod. "Very well. It shall be done."
The three of us head through the trapdoor in the back of the hovel and down the ladder into the tunnels. There's so many sewers and tunnels underneath Kirkwall that I don't even know how far they extend. If I'm going to be staying here for the time being, shouldn't I take some time out to explore them thoroughly and see what might be found?
"Well," Tom says, looking over Ketojan appraisingly. "Perhaps this is a good opportunity to acquire a replacement Saarebas, since you seem so attached to them?" He grins at me crookedly.
I smirk. "Better stun me, just in case something goes horribly wrong here somehow."
"Feeling paranoid?" Tom says, and then stuns me and revives me again.
"My paranoia is rarely unfounded," I say, climbing to my feet again and casting a quick Cleansing Charm. Ugh, this place is filthy.
"And I am suspicious about Sister Petrice's motivations," Tom says. "What, exactly, does she intend our friend here to do once he's out of the city? Does she not realize how brainwashed the Saarebas are?"
"Evidently not," I say with a shrug. "I'm sure we can come up with a better plan than that."
Ketojan follows as we make our way through the tunnels, and even assists us in killing several groups of thugs along the way. There's never any shortage of idiots willing to attack anyone on sight in Kirkwall, for some reason. You'd think they'd get themselves killed off eventually by attacking the wrong people. Well, I'm perfectly happy to speed their way to extinction. Down here, we don't even bother restraining ourselves from using magic openly.
We emerge from the tunnels out onto the hills of the Wounded Coast, straight into a patrol of Qunari soldiers. I freeze in my step upon seeing them and tense up, even though it seems pretty unlikely that Ketojan will tell them that we're both mages.
"An entire karataam killed," the Arvaarad says, giving me a hard look. "And a line of bodies leading straight to this point."
"I am Ashkaari. I believe the Chantry is responsible," I reply. "I found this lost Saarebas with a Chantry sister and a templar."
"They were clearly trying to set us up," Tom says. "We should go back and kill them now."
The Arvaarad turns to speak with Ketojan briefly. I can't understand the Saarebas's half of the conversation, but it leads to Arvaarad saying, "Are you certain? Very well." Ketojan kneels, and Arvaarad raises his weapon.
"Wait, what are you doing?" I snap.
"This Saarebas has been without his Arvaarad for some time. The risk of corruption or possession is too high."
"He is not possessed," Tom says, rolling his eyes. "Just because you don't know how to properly check for such a thing doesn't mean that the risk is actually as high as you think it is."
"Can you be certain of that?" Arvaarad demands, giving Tom a hard look.
"I'll trust in his certainty," I reply.
Arvaarad stares at me for a long moment, and then strikes Ketojan down without another word before turning his blade upon me.
"What?" I shriek, lightning crackling around me.
"You have also been exposed to this corruption, Ashkaari," Arvaarad says. "Submit to the Qun. You know what I must do."
I let out a heavy sigh and try to calm myself. I want to go back anyway to save Ketojan. The electric aura around me subsides. I step forward and kneel before the Arvaarad. "I am a mage," I say quietly. "I have been hiding this for many years. But I will submit."
I'm thankful that Tom doesn't appear to be interfering. I'd just have to kill myself then. Instead, I just let the Arvaarad kill me.
"That was foolish, Lexen," Tom says quietly as I get up again. "This entire business has been foolish. We should just go right back up that ladder and kill Petrice and her pet templar right now."
"The Qunari will need to be dealt with," I say.
"We could just avoid them and bring this one through the tunnels under my mansion," Tom says. "We did leave the old slaver tunnels intact for a reason, after all."
I shake my head, and stride off down the tunnels. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by confronting the karataam. Perhaps, in a way, it is symbolic of confronting my own identity as a follower of the Qun or not.
"Ketojan," I explain to him in Qunlat so that he'll have a better chance of understanding. "You are not possessed or corrupted, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They would have you believe that just being unsupervised for a moment could get you possessed. It's not actually that easy. Under normal circumstances, someone has to be willing to allow a demon to possess them. And failing that, there needs to be another mage forcing the demon inside of them. It doesn't just happen out at random."
Ketojan gives an incoherent rumble. I have no idea whether he actually understood that or not.
"It's useless," Tom says. "You aren't going to get through to him."
"I have to try," I say.
Tom shrugs. "Suit yourself."
We eventually re-emerge from the tunnels onto the rocky coast, after slaughtering our way through the various thugs again. The Arvaarad confronts us as before.
"He's not possessed," I say firmly. "And I will not allow you to kill him just because you refuse to believe that. Stand down. I don't want to have to fight you."
"Lexen," Tom says, stepping up close behind me. "You are not Ashkaari. You are not a Qunari any longer. You need not submit to their laws or their chains."
"Tom..." I murmur.
"Kill them," Tom hisses.
"Ashkaari?" the Arvaarad says in puzzlement before realizing exactly who I am. "You are the one who said he would find the relic we've been searching for?"
"Their relic is unimportant," Tom says quietly but fiercely. "Do not submit to them. Submit to me. Let them all burn."
I stare at the Qunari before me, still as statues as though time is frozen, although it has only slowed down by my own perception. My life or theirs? My existence or theirs? Is that even a question? Time resumes its normal flow as I have made my decision.
"I reject the Qun," I say. "The only certainty that matters to me is that of this man beside me. And by his will, you shall die."
I raise my hands and unleash a furious storm down upon them, fueled by all the pent-up hate and rage in my heart. I hate feeling like I'm being forced into this, but I will do it anyway. I hate having had to hide my true nature for over a decade in Qunari lands. I hate the way they would bind their mages like slaves. What gives them the right to do this? What gives anyone the right?
When the storm subsides and they are all dead, I go to loot the bodies with a cold feeling in my heart. Among their possessions, I find what appears to be a Saarebas control rod. I have no idea how to actually work one of these things.
"Let me see that," Tom says, and I pass it over to him. After a bit of analysis, he waves it at Ketojan, who is surrounded by a nimbus of energy for a moment.
"You... have unbound me?" Ketojan says.
"I don't expect anything useful to come of this, but yes, I have," Tom says. "I think I'll be keeping this little toy, too." He shoves it into his bag.
"You killed them... for me?" Ketojan asks me in confusion. "Why?"
"They would have killed you," I say.
"And you reject the Qun," Ketojan says.
"I reject the path they follow," I say. "I reject the idea that you or I or Tom or anyone else born with magic, is nothing more than a broken tool. We are not broken or faulty."
"Magic is dangerous," Ketojan says.
"You know, we're not actually from Thedas," I say. "We've seen many other places, where mages are free. I've never seen mages bound or enslaved like they are here. Usually, the mages are actually in charge. And demonic possession was virtually unheard of, as well."
"Is there not corruption?" Ketojan wonders. "How can mages live without oversight?"
"As well as anyone else," I reply. "We are still people. We think and feel and live just as anyone who didn't happen to be born with magic."
"The Qun would demand that I die," Ketojan says.
"The Qun doesn't understand that you aren't possessed," I say. "It does not acknowledge a mage as being capable of mastering himself. Of being able to be in control of himself. Live, kadan. Master yourself. You are not as weak as they think you are."
Ketojan looks thoughtful for a few moments. "I hear no madness or corruption in your words. So be it. I will live. I will follow you. Kadan. Teach me your path."
I smile faintly at that, and relax. "I'm glad to hear that. I will not call you Saarebas, however. You are not just a dangerous thing."
"The name the priest gave me suits me. Ketojan."
I nod. "Very well. Let's head back to Kirkwall. We'll show you to our home."
"And then we're going to go kill Sister Petrice," Tom says with a small grin as we head down the coast. "Provided she hasn't taken the opportunity to run off."
Sure, walking through the streets of Kirkwall with a chained-up kossith isn't exactly subtle, but I'm less concerned than Petrice would need to be about it. It's still night, and dark enough that even a casual Disillusionment Charm will suffice.
"Lexen?" Kirlin says as we step inside. "Where did you- Oh... Another guest?"
"I am Ketojan," he says hesitantly.
"Kirlin, could you see about getting these chains off of him?" I say. "We need to go deal with a scheming priest."
"Alright, I'll see what I can do," Kirlin says.
Tom and I head back down to Lowtown. However, by the time we get back to the safehouse, Sister Petrice and her templar assistant are long gone, without having left any trace that they'd ever even been there.
