It wasn't long afterwards, approximately three days that Alex had her first nightmare. A black and white disjointed vision of something she wasn't certain of at first. She was following something into a road she hadn't seen before and bending down to pick it up, something cold and small. Then there was a noise, a loud screech before she saw the bar just inches from her face. Alex woke up in a cold sweat and the screech she heard in her dream was a scream that came from her. For awhile she just lay there in the bed with the images going around and around in her head. She felt sick and when she fell asleep again the same thing happened, and again the night after that. It went on for four nights before Alex mentioned it to the Doctor who nodded.
"This was what I was talking about Alex. This is exactly why you should see a therapist. But there is a good side to this."
"What?"
"The nightmare isn't really a nightmare, it's a memory of the accident. Therefore an improvement."
Alex had raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "But last time..."
"Last time we took scans there was nothing, but now there is. I'm going to put your name forward to see a councillor at the hospital, you need it."
"I don't want to." Alex said.
"No but you need to. Believe me."
Alex had left the hospital in a foul mood and gone straight to the coffee shop where she had arranged to meet Randy. He was already there, and watched her cross the road to get to him, he didn't smile.
"Hi." she said, but before she got any futhur a waitress bustled over to take her order, a waitress who seemed to recognise her as she smiled warmly.
"Mrs. Orton! I haven't seen you in forever! The usual?"
Alex looked to Randy for help. "What's the usual?"
"A semi skinned skinny latte."
"What the hell is that?"
"She'll have the usual." Randy said to the waitress who looked slightly bemused.
When she bustled off Alex wondered what to say. What did you say to a man who tried to nurse you back to health after you left him for someone else?
"How are you?"
That seemed like a good idea.
"How do you think?"
That was a question even her inner voice had been trying to ignore. She really didn't want to think about that.
"I don't know, that's why I asked."
"Why did you want to come here Alex? Wouldn't your life just be better if I faded away and let you and John get on with it?"
"No. Randy, I don't want you to hate me."
"I don't."
The waitress came back with Alex's order, of which she took a sip, made a face and pushed it away.
"You don't have to do this." Randy said. "The whole lets-be-friends thing. It never works and if it's about feeling guilty don't. If it's about getting a divorce I'll take care of it."
"No!" Alex said. "It's not about any of those things, not really. It's too early for divorce and I can't help feeling guilty. I'm not going to lie, I do love John but I thought leaving you for him would make everything click. I expected everything to fall into place and be alright."
"It sounds like it's so hard." Randy said, his voice full of sarcasm.
"Everything isn't alright. Nothing's changed, I still feel the same except worse because you don't want anything to do with me."
Randy sighed and sat back in his chair and Alex could see why she married him, he was gorgeous, she would have been stupid not to.
"It would have been some sort of minor miracle if your whole life had came right back to you just because you left me. I wasn't the problem...."
"I know!"
"The problem was your head, not me."
"I know, I don't know why I would think of something so stupid. You where great with me and I'm sorry."
Randy took her coffee and drank some. "No your not. You've got what you wanted, you and John are getting married."
"We're not."
"Why?"
"Because, it doesn't feel right."
Even as Alex said it she had no idea why. Why was she telling her soon -to-be ex husband all this? What did he care? Why did he want to know and why wasn't she telling all this to John?
"If it doesn't feel right then...."
"Don't." Alex warned. "Please don't say anything. I'm confused and messed up and unsure anyway. I don't need you adding to it Randy."
"Sorry."
He reached over the table and took her hand, Alex didn't pull away, it comforted her.
"You'll be alright." He told her.
She would of loved to believed him, but deep down she couldn't. She did something she knew she shouldn't do, Alex arranged to meet up with him again.
It wasn't long afterwards, approximately three days that Alex had her first nightmare. A black and white disjointed vision of something she wasn't certain of at first. She was following something into a road she hadn't seen before and bending down to pick it up, something cold and small. Then there was a noise, a loud screech before she saw the bar just inches from her face. Alex woke up in a cold sweat and the screech she heard in her dream was a scream that came from her. For awhile she just lay there in the bed with the images going around and around in her head. She felt sick and when she fell asleep again the same thing happened, and again the night after that. It went on for four nights before Alex mentioned it to the Doctor who nodded.
"This was what I was talking about Alex. This is exactly why you should see a therapist. But there is a good side to this."
"What?"
"The nightmare isn't really a nightmare, it's a memory of the accident. Therefore an improvement."
Alex had raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "But last time..."
"Last time we took scans there was nothing, but now there is. I'm going to put your name forward to see a councillor at the hospital, you need it."
"I don't want to." Alex said.
"No but you need to. Believe me."
Alex had left the hospital in a foul mood and gone straight to the coffee shop where she had arranged to meet Randy. He was already there, and watched her cross the road to get to him, he didn't smile.
"Hi." she said, but before she got any futhur a waitress bustled over to take her order, a waitress who seemed to recognise her as she smiled warmly.
"Mrs. Orton! I haven't seen you in forever! The usual?"
Alex looked to Randy for help. "What's the usual?"
"A semi skinned skinny latte."
"What the hell is that?"
"She'll have the usual." Randy said to the waitress who looked slightly bemused.
When she bustled off Alex wondered what to say. What did you say to a man who tried to nurse you back to health after you left him for someone else?
"How are you?"
That seemed like a good idea.
"How do you think?"
That was a question even her inner voice had been trying to ignore. She really didn't want to think about that.
"I don't know, that's why I asked."
"Why did you want to come here Alex? Wouldn't your life just be better if I faded away and let you and John get on with it?"
"No. Randy, I don't want you to hate me."
"I don't."
The waitress came back with Alex's order, of which she took a sip, made a face and pushed it away.
"You don't have to do this." Randy said. "The whole lets-be-friends thing. It never works and if it's about feeling guilty don't. If it's about getting a divorce I'll take care of it."
"No!" Alex said. "It's not about any of those things, not really. It's too early for divorce and I can't help feeling guilty. I'm not going to lie, I do love John but I thought leaving you for him would make everything click. I expected everything to fall into place and be alright."
"It sounds like it's so hard." Randy said, his voice full of sarcasm.
"Everything isn't alright. Nothing's changed, I still feel the same except worse because you don't want anything to do with me."
Randy sighed and sat back in his chair and Alex could see why she married him, he was gorgeous, she would have been stupid not to.
"It would have been some sort of minor miracle if your whole life had came right back to you just because you left me. I wasn't the problem...."
"I know!"
"The problem was your head, not me."
"I know, I don't know why I would think of something so stupid. You where great with me and I'm sorry."
Randy took her coffee and drank some. "No your not. You've got what you wanted, you and John are getting married."
"We're not."
"Why?"
"Because, it doesn't feel right."
Even as Alex said it she had no idea why. Why was she telling her soon -to-be ex husband all this? What did he care? Why did he want to know and why wasn't she telling all this to John?
"If it doesn't feel right then...."
"Don't." Alex warned. "Please don't say anything. I'm confused and messed up and unsure anyway. I don't need you adding to it Randy."
"Sorry."
He reached over the table and took her hand, Alex didn't pull away, it comforted her.
"You'll be alright." He told her.
She would of loved to believed him, but deep down she couldn't. She did something she knew she shouldn't do, Alex arranged to meet up with him again.
