You know what, why can't we get to know each other?
Starting at this chapter, feel free to ask me questions! They can be about Homestuck, TF2, Steam, or just anything!
For now, enjoy the longest chapter so far!
Act I Act II (Part 1)
A1A2
Travis: React childishly and poorly
You are now Travis Morrow, and you are in quite some pain.
Well, not so much anymore. Myrian fixed you up but before then you could barely move your arms. Mostly because they were both snapped clean in two, but that's what the Medigun is for. Today is a new day. You had plans to be less of a dick after that damn contest between you and Jane. You stretched, cracked at least 4 spots in your back, and stepped into the hallway to be greeted by a holy shit what is that.
The alien turned sharply as you gasped, facing you. It was pitch black, with long skeletal arms and legs. There were four pipe-like things protruding from its back, with a large, long head. It hissed, a second mouth extending out of its mouth. You... guess that'd be cool, had it not been directed towards you. Suddenly, Medic came up behind it and smacked it in the side of the head. "Nein! He is friendly," she scolded, the alien standing down. You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding, and immediately exploded. "What the fuck is that thing?!" you yelled as the thing eyed you. Or... where the hell are its eyes? "Zhis is your backup Scout, Travis," Myrian said, "she's a Xenomorph." Great, it's a girl, too! What's it going to do, bitch at you to death?
"She can sense your anger, Herr Scout," Myrian said as you noticed the alien hissing at you again. Drool or slime or whatever was dripping out of her mouth, and it started creeping you out. "Well, then do something about it, but I don't need a damn backup," you sneered, turning as you ended up with your face in a wall. Damn, that hurt. "You're right, Travis," Myrian replied, the alien grunting or doing something resembling a laugh. Seriously, where the hell did it come from that gave someone an idea to put it in war?! "In fact, instead you could use a personal assistant for your idiotic behavior."
Both you and the alien gave Myrian a strange look. "Ahahaha, you're funny," you say cautiously, "but I'll fuckin' kill you if you make that thing go near me." You immediately ran down the hall to warn everyone that Medic's finally gone batshit crazy. Conveniently, everyone else was already gathered at the Wreck Wroom. It was actually meant to be a recreational room, but Soldier and Demo use it to beat the shit out of each other in drunk fistfights that it was renamed Wreck Wroom. Jane was arguing with Heavy about who's gun really was bigger (Heavy won), Spy, Mick, and Demo were all sporting coffee mugs, while Dell and Pyro were watching TV. Or, at least Dell was. Pyro was looking somewhere near it, or at least his gas mask was facing that direction. Why can't he take the damn thing off?
"Hey, guys," you said, and only Pyro looked over to you. "I think Medic's trying to kill us." Sniper finally gave you a funny look. "Really?" he asked, "damn shame, I wanted to see tha alien." Tavish agreed with an "Aye." Everyone else was completely ignoring you. "Are you all fuckin' deaf?! Medic got a fucking killer alien!" you yelled.
"Acht, calm down, Travis," Myrian said behind you, "it's only nine thirty." The alien stepped in behind her, with a similar annoyed look. You... guess that's what it is. Maybe it just wants to eat you all. Or needs to take a shit. Does that thing shit? Oh yeah, probably gonna kill you. "THERE IT IS!" you yelled, grabbing a meat cleaver. "Guys, run!"
Instead, everyone looked at it with interest. "Howly doodley," Mick said, "can it talk?" Myrian shrugged. "She's shown me nozhing past grunts und growls. But I've learned she can understand English." You looked at Sniper in disbelief. "You dumbass, shoot it!" you yelled. A large hand went over your mouth which you recognized as Heavy's. "Leetle Scout needs to calm down," he said. "Alien is new comrade. Alien or not, be nice." With that, he let you go. What the fuck? You can't believe everyone was so calm about a monster with a mouth inside its fucking mouth. It was more weird, but still scary. More than Scary Hat.
The alien started hissing at you again, and that got everyone's attention. You noticed it staring at Pyro now, who got up to get closer. "Pyro, run!" you called out, but the thing just got up and got closer to the alien. "Mmlmmph, I mmph wmht mm dmmhng," he said, which you roughly translated to him saying he knew what he was doing. Pyro put his hand on the alien's head and started rubbing it like some animal. And, surprisingly, it stopped hissing, an instead made some weird purr. Which, if it were Myrian's cat, would be tolerable. But this is an alien. Aliens don't purr. They abduct people and stick probes up their butts.
"No, NO, NO," you yelled shoving Pyro out of the way. "You fucking listen to me," you said, jabbing a finger into the alien's face. "You might be special because you're a big ass walkin' alien that can act normal but you will NEVER work alongside me, ya hear?" Of course, you know the alien can't speak back to you, but that just pissed you off more. "Are you fuckin' listening to me?!" You shoved the alien back to the wall, and it started hissing again. "What, are you gonna cry?" You taunted as it got up and HOLY SHIT-
You are Travis Morrow, and you are DEAD.
François: Dig into Myrian's files about new mercenary
You are now François Lawrence. Why hello there, you handsome rogue. You're looking quite fine this morning.
You stop admiring your dashing looks in the mirror. After Travis's tantrum was cut short by the Xenomorph's tail, you decided to sneak away before Travis respawned and bitched about the rather appropriate teamkill. The first thing you wanted was information about this creature. Where did it come from? What could it do? How smart was it? You considered many possibilities as you strolled to Myrian's office. Perhaps it's an experiment by the Administrator, possibly seeing how long it takes for you guys before you kill it. Or before it kills you. You pulled out a pin and picked the lock on the medic's door before entering the lab. Mixing smells of alcohol, blood, and fumes of the Medigun were overpowering, but you grew well used to this. Retiring the cigarette you had, you moved to the door on the back wall to her office, where all of the information on every mercenary here was. Inside were 11 filing cabinets. Nine were reserved for one per merc, one was miscellaneous work or experiments Myrian had, and the last one was typically a spare. Although now you had a nagging feeling it'd be the new alien's cabinet.
You opened it to find very few folders within. Grabbing one by random you opened the vanilla-colored folder to find several records and tests in the illegible language only a doctor could read. You put it back and picked a new one, opening it to find more readable notes. It was a basic overview, similar to the one of each mercenary.
Name: N/A
Sex: Female (?)
Race: Non-human, Xenomorph-alien
Height: 7' 5"
Hometown: N/A
Primary Language: N/A
Secondary Language: N/A
Noticeable Feats: Double-jump, scaling walls and ceilings, blade-like tail, acidic blood
Class Name: Assistant
Notes: Intelligent non-Earth species, requires no close range weaponry, understands English but cannot speak human languages, uses gestures or grunts/growls to communicate.
Interesting, but not enough so to keep digging through files. You're curious how this alien was found, but like everyone else it is up to that mercenary to discuss their past, and only basics are told on paper. You put the folder away when you notice some pictures crammed in the back. You take them out, inspecting them. Each one seems to be a different planet, but none of them in your solar system. It was crazy, since they were very detailed images. With it came a "HABITABLE" or "NON-HABITABLE" label on the bottom, which you assume were Myrian's predictions on the chance of life on the planet. Strange, you thought Myrian was a massive skeptic on the existence of aliens, although this... "Assistant" probably put a hole in her theory and she's just not showing it.
One picture caught your attention among the others. It was a planet of mostly gray and red, the land surrounded by what you assume is ocean. The sun behind it was immensely bright, and you doubted any life could withstand it. Yet, this one had no label, instead a small scribbled note saying "35% Alternium," with Dell's messy initials on the bottom left corner. Perhaps this is the origin of the people he talks to. It definitely resembles a more colorful Mars, but you're just surprised the planet isn't on fire from the heat of its star. Perhaps Alternium is extremely heat resistant. You'd have to find out on your own, but first you'd need to figure out a way to obtain Alternium unnoticed. If you pretended to be Dell and have the alien teleport the metal to you like Dell does then you might be able to get it, but you aren't sure if it would inform the engineer or not. You could always steal it and hope he doesn't find out.
You're still a bit curious about what this Xenomorph eats. There's been a smell behind the alcohol and blood that's annoying you. You move towards it to find it's behind the wall. You're almost certain there's a secret door. The only trouble was figuring out a way to open it. The smell only grew with time as you stood there, feeling for a secret button or crease to find what's inside. It smelled of rotten organs and flesh, and it began to get overpowering. You had to stop several times to stop your gagging-
"Vhat are you doing?!" Myrian yelled behind you, causing you to jump. It seems you were there longer than you thought. The Xenomorph was right beside her, watching. "Spy, get out of my office!" the medic yelled, and you gave a short apology before quickly slipping by them. You felt the woman's eyes burning holes in your back as you hurried out into the hall. Now she was probably suspicious of you. But whatever it was behind that wall would have to wait. Your mind was too focused on obtaining one of Dell's favorite red rocks.
François: Be someone else
You are once again Dell Conagher. You didn't find the new alien mercenary all that interesting, and you knew it was just a temporary test the Administrator wanted to do. So now you were back in your workshop, with a new sentry complete. It was like your standard Mini-Sentry, however it came with a backup Alternium core and a breaker so that placing a Sapper on it wouldn't destroy the sentry. That way you could deal with the Spy and not get distracted with your machines failing. Today would hopefully be a good test of the new sentry, it would be a standard territory grab in Dustbowl. You closed the top and packed it up, placing it with everything you'll use today. Today you were going to try a new offensive tactic, pushing forward with your Mini-Sentry and Widowmaker, while keeping your standard Pistol on you for defense. Everyone was going to try new tactics with a second Scout for the ride. Or Assistant, or whatever the hell it was supposed to be.
Your PDA gave you a small beep, and you turned to see a message left on your computer screen. Instead of being a normal Pesterchum, it was just a notification on the bottom right corner of the screen. You went over to it to look at it.
You have received a message from: twinArmageddons [TA]
TA: iit2 ready
Sent at 0846 [seconds ago]
This was a surprise. The Teleportifier (That's what you call it now. No real reason, you just felt it was better than saying 'it' or 'the teleporter,' considering you've built countless teleporters) should have been unfinished for at least another few days, but you assume TA knew what he was doing. Wait, what are you talking about? Of course he knows what he's doing. You eyed the remote sender sitting on a bench. When the Teleportifier was complete, you'd test using a BLU Sniper arm you've preserved from one battle that was quite explosive. Since it'd go such a long distance, there's a risk of it reconstructing living tissue wrong, so it would be safer to send already dead tissue to see what happens.
You decided to reply to the message, knowing you had to report for battle in a few minutes.
BC: Good to know. Have to finish work first.
Sent at 0847
You shut the computer off, put your weapons and spare metal in your toolbox, grabbed your new building, and set off for the Respawn room. Sure enough, the Administrator's reptile voice broke through the speakers. "Enemy incoming. Mission begins in five minutes." You walked down the hall, passing the other mercenaries grabbing their weapons and other items from their rooms. Travis storing a few Bonk! cans in his bag, Jane picking what shovel he wants to kill people with, Pyro in the extra room putting his mask on-
WHAT
You quickly back up to peer into the room to see the firebug packing his things up, which he strangely keeps in the extra room rather than in the one he and Travis shares. You could have sworn you saw blond hair before the mask fully slipped on. The mask suddenly turned around, noticing you. Shit. You had to think of something quick. You opened the door, looking like you were in a rush. "Hey, Pyro, I'm gonna test a new Sentry, wanna back me up if anythin' happens?" you asked, gesturing to the new toolbox in your hand. Pyro said nothing, staring (maybe?) at you for several seconds before shrugging. "Sure," he mumbled, picking up his Degreaser. You gave him a thanks before heading back down the hall. So now you know Pyro has blond hair. You... guess it's nice to know he's at least a normal human physically. Although it was only hair. You still have no idea what his face or body looks like. He might be a cyborg, or an alien, or even worse, something more realistic.
You try to forget that happened, and flipped the switch to the automatic door of the Respawn room. It took a few seconds before the door swung up, revealing the room within. It had a similar siding door on the opposite side towards the battlefield, a resupply locker on each side, with two benches on the wall where you Respawn. Next to the lockers were wooden... lockers, you guess, that each mercenary put miscellaneous or extra items that aren't too important to be kept in the base. Yours had a box of metal at the bottom, spare building parts, a pump shotgun, and your Construction PDA. This thing was a lifesaver. You selected what building you wanted constructed, based on whatever you programmed into it, and it would remotely connect to your toolbox to rapidly construct a compact version of the building. Then, when you set it down, it opened up and the machine constructed itself to whatever it was. You toyed with the buttons until you were in its programming mode, and changed the Sentry program to match your new one. Now it would be able to do what it normally does to construct it, but teleport spare Alternium cores in your workshop into the device, that way you aren't stuck with one new prototype that might not even work. Just in case, you left the default Mini-Sentry saves as a backup incase your new one didn't work.
Soon enough, the others started coming in, fully suited for battle. Misha came in with his Tomislav, which was more of a massive machine gun than a minigun. Soldier had his normal rocket launcher, a Righteous Bison particle launcher, and a bloody pickaxe. You guess today he's going to be up close with everyone. You put your pistol in your side pouch, sitting down on a bench, ready to go. "Mission begins in 60 seconds."
By now, everyone had entered the Respawn room. The plan was to rush the BLUs in one solid offensive push, doing everything to watch everyone's back. The Xeno was now by Travis's side, much to his disappointment, with a dark red band on her right arm signifying her class. The emblem was the Scout's logo with a slightly smaller one behind it. She only had a pistol with her, the tail and teeth already enough to kill. "The enemy is at the gates, prepare before they breach." The door swung open, and you all flooded out to get to the front. Several days ago they took over a massive chunk of the area, and the plan was to get it all back today and shut them out. Sure enough, you saw the BLUs behind the gates at the first point in this section, and their Demoman was already setting up traps to blow it open. You put the toolbox down in the corner, and watched the Mini Sentry construct itself rapidly. It beeped after testing itself, and began scanning the area. Good. At least you know so far that it works. You put down a Teleporter Exit safe from harm behind the bunker, the Teleporter Entrance already built at Spawn. The crackle of Myrian's Übercharge, Travis flipping his bat in anticipation, the Xeno hiding until needed, this was work.
"Five," the woman's voice boomed, "four, three, two, one!" The moment the Administrator said one, the gates burst open.
Welcome to the Fortress.
Dell: Send the damn BLUs to hell for a bit
Tavish: Prime the traps.
François: Do sneaky suspicious Spy behavior.
