Day Six: Caffeine


"Oh look Kenny!" chirped Yachiru, "A present!"

Captain Kenpachi Zaraki picked up the note on the package. "It's from Ichigo; he says it's something sweet for you."

Yachiru quickly opened up the box. "What are they?" she questioned.

"Drinks. He said to open it by popping that top piece there," Kenpachi read.

There was still some difficulty in opening the odd cans. Kenpachi was reaching for his zanpakuto and one had been thrown out a (closed) window when Yachiru finally figured it out.

She took a sip.

"Eeee! Tickles my nose!" she laughed.

"You like it?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's really good!" she gulped it down and reached for another. "There are different flavors too. Wanna try?"

"Naw, I think I'm gonna take a nap," Kenpachi said, heading for his office. Everyone on the squad knew that Captain Zaraki was only ever in his office when he was sleepy, and no one was stupid enough to bother him there. Well, Kenpachi smirked to himself, usually not stupid enough. He had had fun "teaching" a couple of those sneaky squad two delivery guys to not bother him the other day.

Several hours later, he wearily trekked through the wreckage that used to be Squad 11. He found a room that seemed fairly intact and collapsed in it.

Someone screamed outside. "PONNNNNNNNYYY!" Yachiru was yelling with a maniacal laugh.

Looking around he realized that he had finally made it to his office. It honestly wasn't until he saw the package on his desk that he began to make connections. Those damn drinks…Ichigo… "CAPTAIN HELP ME!" some random squad member yelled, running by outside. Kenpachi ignored him, although to be fair he actually did feel bad for whomever it was, which was more than he would feel normally.

Ichigo did this, he thought. "Ichigo," he growled the name out loud to no one.

He looked at the package on his desk. From Ichigo. Of course. He opened it.

If Squad 11 thought it had been loud before, they all got a shock when Captain Zaraki belted out a primal roar. Some poor Squad 12 scientists who had been walking nearby one of the walls bordering their squads heard it and promptly scurried back into their labs like the rats they always studied.


"Hey, it's the Captain," Ikkaku said, staring at his cell phone in wonder.

"I didn't even think he knew how to work his phone," said Yumichika. "It's probably Yachiru just using his line."

"Hey Renji, give me a second," Ikkaku looked at his friend. They were all going out to eat something called pizza, which Renji had been raving about.

Rukia and Ichigo walked in through the shop door at that moment. "Yeah, I'll just chat for awhile," Renji replied, walking towards them.

Ikkaku answered his phone, and then almost fell over. He tried again, with the phone much farther away from his ear this time.

"Captain, I," he started and then listened. "Uh yeah, actually Ichigo is right here…decapitate? Don't you think that's kind of harsh he's just a kid…no…gesh Captain…I'm pretty sure you can't actually do that…um…no actually I lied he's not here right now…" Ikkaku was looking at Ichigo the whole time, looking more and more worried.

"You're right," Captain Zaraki growled into the phone, "I got a better idea. The next time I see him I'm gonna make him wear this damn bra while I leer at him!"

Ikkaku paled, "Captain…"

Kenpachi hung up.

All eyes were on Ikkaku. "Uh, so Ichigo," he started.

"…yeah?" Ichigo replied hesitantly.

"I'm thinking you're not going to want to go back to the Soul Society for awhile."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems that you sent Yachiru a crate of soda, which she promptly drank most of. She's pretty much destroyed most of Squad 11, but that's not why the Captain is mad at you," Ikkaku paused.

"I didn't…" Ichigo glared at Rukia.

"He's mad at you because after all of that he found a package from you to him containing what he describes as a very very large lacy bra."

Yumichika gasped.

"Shit Ichigo," Renji said, gulping.

"Um, and he's either gonna decapitate you or make you wear the bra next time he sees you, maybe both," Ikkaku finished.

"Well, looks like I can't go back to the Soul Society ever again," sighed Ichigo.

Rukia was conspicuously absent, thinking that it was probably better to leave now while everyone was distracted.


Rukia's Notes: I'd like to think that if Kenpachi catches up with him he'll make Ichigo wear the bra while marching him through squad eleven to lots of lewd comments and catcalls. Then again, I'm still mad about him seeing my underwear. Besides, Captain Zaraki likes Ichigo, I doubt he'd really decapitate him. I'm not worried. I'm excited about tomorrow, my grand finale piece and by far the best thing I've come up with.

/ background

Ichigo: Of course you're not worried, it's my head! Like Kenpachi wasn't psychotic enough already!