WARNING:

*EXPLICIT* LANGUAGE

Take Me As I Am

not who I was - Chris Brown

JOKER

I watch Harley, my mind completely blanking out as I see her packing her bags and grabbing her guns and knives. I never thought she'd be the one who would want to kill Hadlynn out of the two of us. I mean, I know I've always wanted to, but not her.

She's always stood up for the little brat, never wanting to hurt her.

HA! Boy had the tables turned now.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Harley's voice pulls me from my daze and I raise my brows, looking at her.

"Huh?"

"Ya lookin/ at me like I"m leavin' ya or somethin'." she shrugs and I smile a little.

"I"m just proud." I step closer to her and she raises her brows, her eyes filling with a small hint of joy.

"I don't thing you've ever said that to me." she grins ear to ear and I think for a moment.

"Of course I have." I shake my head a little and she raises a brow.

"No ya haven't, actually." she argues.

"Yes, I have. We've been together five years, I think I"ve told you I was prouda ya at least once." I scoff and she rolls her jaw.

"Ya really wanna argue about this? I know I"m right, Mistah J." she crosses her arms and I cross mine as well.

"Do ya now?"

"Yeah! I do!" she stomps her foot and I smirk.

"You just tryin' to get me all riled up so we can have hot goin. away sex or something?" I tease and she cuts her eyes at me.

"Watch it, clown." she sticks her tongue out and I wrap an arm around her waist when she turns her back to me to continue packing.

"So, how long we staying in Florida?"

"Until my sister comes back to Gotham with us." She replies and I furrow my brows and grab her arm, forcing her around to face me.

"You never said anything about staying there longer than a couple nights."

"Well, that's my sister. She has out nephew, and if she ain't coming back, I at least wanna get him back."

"And I couldn't agree more, but even wanting your sister back in the first place is a little . . . stupid." I admit. "I mean, she's just gonna do the same thing she always does. She'll stay with us a while, get bored and then go somewhere else again. That's what she does. She's a free spirit. Let her be free. We'll just snag the kid from under her without her even noticing and be on our merry way and leave her alone to do what ever it is that Hadlynn's do." I suggest.

"I want to give her the choice to come back with us. If she refuses, I'm draggin' across pavement by her hair, beatin' her silly and then takin' my Vinny out from under her and Bird Brain.

"Again, why the hell are we even giving her the option to come back with us? Why not just take Vinny and go?!"

"I'm not explaining myself to you, I'm a grown woman, not a child. Just like she's a grown woman who would appreciate it if someone told her that her son was gonna be okay and safe instead of just wakin' up in the middle of the night to see he's been kidnapped and not knowin' where the hell he went or who has him!"

"I really think she would appreciate the mystery in that scenario, though." I state and she stomps her foot and looks at me angrily. "It's so fun to piss you off. You get all adorable."

"Don't push your damn luck, J."

"Don't tell me what to do, Harls."

"I'll tell you what to do because I actually know what I'm doin'. You're just taggin' along,"

"Oh, really, that's how you see it as? You're Lewis and Clark and I"m Sacagawea? Just following you because you claim to know what you're doing?"

"That's usually how it is, except you're Lewis and Clark and I'm usually Sacagawea." she replies and I look at her. "It's called trust. It's something I've always had for you, and something you need to have for me this go round, k?" She smiles weakly and I sigh.

"Fine." I roll my eyes and she squeaks a little bit, and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Thank you." she kisses my cheek and skips out, calling for Lucy.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into?" I groan, rubbing my forehead before heading downstairs to find them.

VITANI

"Mama, Mama, Mama!" I hear Vinny shout as he runs towards the kitchen. I raise my brows at him, seeing Jason tear around the corner, looking pissed off as ever. "He's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me!" he shouts and I furrow my brows at Jason and he rolls his jaw.

"He pissed on my wallet." he sneers, and I have to fight back a smile. Definitely a trade Vincent picked up from his uncle.

"Vinny, that;s very rude." I scold, but I can't help but scoff up a laugh I attempted to hold back, to no avail.

"It's not funny, Hady." Jason cuts his eyes at me and I smile a little bit.

"Vincent, me and Jason are gonna talk a little bit, k? Go to your room and think about what you've done." I point a finger at him and he snickers before going to his room. "I'm sorry, Jason, but that's just the kinda kid he is. He was just pranking you, is all."

"Just pranking me? I have money in that wallet, money that is now covered in piss, so explain to me the funny part of the fucking prank, Vitani." he crosses his arms and I look down for a moment.

"He misses home and he's lashing out. Besides, you make money every night. What's a couple hundred dollars - which are still usable by the way - gonna change?" I shrug and he looks as though he's about to explode.

"If this is ever gonna work, the little brat needs to learn to suck it up and get long with me."

"That little brat, is my son. He's almost four years old, Jason. He's a fucking kid. Let him have a little fun, Jesus Christ." I shove past him and he laughs without humor.

"You know, I thought that things were better between us than what they used to be, but clearly nothing has fucking changed. You're still the same desperate 18 year old who doesn't know what the hell adulthood is."

"And you do?! You don't even have a legitamate job, Jason. All you do is bust bad guys for some off brand drugs ad call it a night. Bruce is a fucking CEO, Dick's a cop, hell even J is a fucking entrepreneur on the side of his criminal life. You don't do shit! You have no real job!" I yell and he cocks his head.

"You're talking to me about fucking jobs, Hadlynn, really?"

"I have a son I look after every single day because you sure as hell won't look after him for me!"

"Because the little fucker is the spawn of Satan!" he screams back and my eyes water. "He pisses on my wallet, and replaces my shampoo with beer and just makes my life hell. He hates me, Hadlynn. He's not trying to be cute for attention, he's not needy or sad, he's just Satan. Just like his fucking uncle. But I can't really blame him for that because it was your responsibility to keep him away from that kind of mindset but nope. You let him live in the same house as Joker, eat the same food as Joker, hell even let the fucking piece of scum tuck him in at night! So what the hell did I expect?!"

"I'm so sorry, Jason! Excuse me for not seeing the wrong in letting my son spend time with his fucking uncle, a man he thinks the world of, by the way."

"Don't you dare turn this back around on me like I"m the bad guy who has not heart. You knew exactly what you were doing when you allowed him to be around Vincent, you knew what you were doing when you let him and Harley help you raise him. Just like you knew what you were doing when you cheated on Johnny with me and never stopped even when me and him both begged you to just pick one. I don't blame him for fucking around on you, I Don't blame him for beating the shit out of you. It's your fault. If you would've just listened to literally everybody in your damn life at the time, it wouldn't have been like that. He wouldn't have had so much resentment and hurt in him and he wouldn't have snapped one day and just completely changed."

I feel tears fall down my face and I shake my head a little bit.

"How the hell can you say something so fucked up and twisted to me?" I finally speak weakly and he stares at me, his eyes looking into my soul.

"I feel myself slipping into the same hurt and anger he did, just warning you, it might get ugly for you if you and your kid don't straighten up." he seethes.

HARLEY

"When are you and Daddy gonna come back?" Lucy looks at us with teary eyes and I look at J. He's always better at handling Lucyfer's emotions than I ever was and I take a deep breath.

"We'll be back in a couple weeks tops." He tells her truthfully. "And I don't wanna go, but you know how Mommy is." he whispers to her. "She'll get herself into trouble if I don't go to keep an eye on her." His words make her giggle and she nods, looking at us. "But, we don't leave until tomorrow morning, so we can have some time to spend together until then. So, whatcha wanna do, Bamm-Bamm?" He ruffles her hair and I smile widely at how she lights up under his attention.

"Ice-Cream." She widens her eyes and he looks at me.

"Ice-Cream it is, then." He grins at her and she claps her hands. "Johnny!" I call after him and he appears after a few moments.

"Yeah?" he looks from me to Lucy.

"I have a very, very, very, critical task for you." He tells him sternly. "Think you're up for the challenge?"

"Yes, Sir." Johnny nods firmly, already knowing what it is.

"Ice-Cream run." J says seriously and he nods.

"The usual?" he raises a brow at Lucy.

"Cotton Candy Explosion with extra pop rocks, like the whole top covered in em' and a large Cherry-Coke." She twiddles her fingers.

"Got it." He turns to go.

"And a whipped cream smiley face on top." She adds. "Ooh, ooh and two Waffle cones for Bud and Lou."

"Are you done?" J asks teasingly and she cuts her eyes at him.

"That's it." She tells Johnny and he smiles, turning to go.

"I'm gonna go get a bath." She get's up from her father's lap on the couch.

He looks at me as she makes her clumsy way up the stairs and I cock my head at him a little bit.

"What?" I smile shyly.

"We got a good kid." He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I don't know how we managed to do it, but yeah, we do." I chuckle and he pulls me into his lap.

"I know how we made a good kid." He mumbles against my hair.

"Explain." I look at him with raised brows.

"She is just like her mother." He gently trails his fingers up and down my arm.

"She's just like her father. I don't know what the fuck you'e talking about." I laugh.

"No, no, hear me out, now." He chuckles. "I admit, she does act like me a lot." He points out. "But, she has the same very, very caring heart, and same very beautiful smile." He gently traces a random pattern on my cheek." I smile up at him.

"You want something." I raise a brow, getting up.

"Why would you think that?" He grabs my wrist and pulls me back down to him.

"Because you're you." I sigh.

"You didn't let me finish." He wraps an arm around my waist. "As I was saying, she has the same smile and the same kind heart. But, she's also a fucking genius." He smiles widely.

"Oh, stop, ya know she got that from you."

"You have a a fucking Doctorate, Harley."

"I earned it from sleeping with the right teachers. I'm not that smart."

"Bullshit." He snaps. "You are smart, Harls. I thought you were a dits when I first met you, not gonna lie and then I found out you slept with some of your teachers to get the grades and then I really thought you were an idiot who didn't earn their degree. But, over the years you have showed me that you could've graduated without fucking your way to the top. And you did work hard to get to where you are. I know you weren't sleeping with your teachers in high school or Middle school, or Elementary School." I feel tears well up in my eyes at his words. "You have worked very hard to get to where you were before you stopped working." He tells me sternly. "I like to think you're a dits sometimes so I don't feel out done, but I'm gonna be honest for once in my life and tell you the truth. You are pretty fucking smart. Our daughter is pretty fucking smart. You're the one she got it from."

"And you? I mean, you can go through a damn chemistry problem like it ain't nothin'. You can speak like seven different languages, fluently . . . I'm not the only one our daughter got her smarts from, J."

"That's true," He nods, but the hair, the eyes, the attitude? Almost everything about her, came from you. Besides her charm and killer sense of humor."

"Speaking of that humor, I found more quarters in the garbage disposer." I tell him with a giggle.

"I gotta talk to her about that, don't I?" He chuckles lowly.

"It'd be smart." I laugh. He licks his lips and rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes for a moment.

"J?" I say quietly and he looks at me.

"Hmm?"

"I'm nervous about another baby," I admit quietly.

"How ya think I feel?"

"You're never nervous or scared of anything. You're The Joker. Ain't ya supposed to be immune to that kinda stuff?"

"The Joker gets scared when it's something important." He scoffs. "Having another baby is pretty fucking important."

"It's my job to be anxious, though, not yours."

"I get anxious enough for the both of us." he admits. "What's making you nervous about it?" he asks me and I think for a moment.

"I don't want you mad at me for being pregnant again. Even though you've said you're fine with it, I know you're just trying to bullshit me into thinking you're fine with it so I won't get upset with you, when really you hate the idea of another baby." I wait for him to tell me that my assumption is false and that he can't wait for another baby. But he never says such. "Why're you not sayin' anything?" I ask shakily.

"Like I said, you're a lot smarter than I thought." He says, looking down at his lap and I snap up, running my hands through my hair.

"Jesus, J!" I snap sharply.

"Well I wasn't gonna lie to ya when you already figured it out!" He argues.

"So you're still mad at me for this?" I raise my brows.

"Harley, I'm not mad at you, I just think - "

" - Well you know what I think?" I cross my arms. "We should take a break."

"Yep, just leave. That's what you're best at, after all." He sneers back and I roll my jaw.

"Fuck you!" I scream, stomping up the stairs to get my bag I packed for Miami.

"Nothing I ain't ever heard before from you!" He screams back and I slam our bedroom door,

"Daddy?" I hear Lucy's voice ask from in the hallway.

"What is it, Lucy?" I hear him ask her from downstairs.

"What's wrong?" She makes her way down the stairs and I crack the door open a little bit so I can hear what they say.

"Me and Mommy just aren't seeing eye to eye right now. It'll be okay, though."

"I don't like when you and Mommy fight." She tells him sweetly."It makes me sad when you and her are sad."

"I'm not sad."

"You look like you're about to cry." She says and I furrow my brows. Was he about to cry before Lucy had interrupted him?

"I'm not about to cry."

"Yeah, ya are."

"I'm not, Lucy."

"Are, too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

They go on with their argument until he gives up and gives in.

"Fine, maybe I am a little down." He admits to her. "But I'm fine and I"ll be fine like I always am." He states boldly and more anger flows through me.

"So, does this mean you and Mommy aren't gonna bring Aunt Hady and Vinny back? I hope not cause I miss them an awful lot."

"You miss Hadlynn, too? God, what is it with women and sentimental bull - " He stops, I'm assuming because he wants to avoid cursing infront of her since she's known to repeat what she hears unless told otherwise. " - I'm sorry I just don't understand why you and your mom are so hell bent on getting Hadlynn back when she's the one who left us. She clearly didn't want to live with us anymore, or even talk to us, so why go look for her when it was her choice to leave in the first place."

"What do you think we should do?" I hear her small voice cower a little, as if she was afraid of his answer. I find myself in the same state, a little scared of what he might say.

"She would be dead by now, if it were up to me, Lucy."

"Why?" She presses for more and I feel my throat tighten.

"Your aunt has done a lot to completely screw me and your mother over. And if it weren't for Harley, she would've been dead before she hit 19 years old. But that's just how I feel about it."

"And does mommy know how you fell about it?" I hear her ask him gently.

"Yeah. She's pissed at me for it." He scoffs.

I've heard enough and I swing the door open and walk down the stairs carrying my suit case.

I clear my throat and he looks up at me.

"Lucy, go upstairs for a little bit." He tells her without looking away from me.

She huffs, complaining about the lack of her ice-cream and he nods to the place beside him on the couch. I ignore his attempt to get me to sit by him, dropping my suit case and plopping down on the very edge of the couch.

"You're not leaving." He tells me sternly. "We're not taking a break. I"m tired of breaks, I'm tired of the constant arguing, I'd drag my fucking ball sack across crushed glass if it meant we would go a month without fighting." He admits and I force myself not to smile."I"m done with this, Harley. I just want to be us again. We ain't been us in so long." He pinches the bridge of his nose.

A long pause passes between us and I take a deep breath before speaking again.

"Tomorrow, We're going to get our nephew back for Johnny. If my sister decided that she wants to come home, she's coming home. If she wants to stay there, she can stay there. But, we are getting Vincent back. And if we can go through all of the bullshit I know my sister will end up putting us through, without arguing, then great. If not, then great. I ain't leavin' you cause we don't get along well. Where the hell would I go, J? I can't make it out here by myself. I'll get myself into trouble." I tell him. "I love you, and I know you're tired of all the fightin'. I'm tired of it, too. But we just don't get along like we used to and maybe four years ago, I woulda been blamin' it on you. But after the three years of hell that I put you through on and off, I don;t blame you for bein' exhausted with fightin' with me cause I know you wasted all your fight tryin' to keep me with ya for 36 months. We both got our faults, and I'll fix mine, if you promise to try to be patient with me."

"I was patient with you and it wasn't enough." He looks at me.

"I know and I - "

" - I"ll go with you to get Vinny, the first time we even come close to arguin', I'm done."

JOKER

{ Flashback - 1 Year Ago }

I watch as Hadlynn smiles sweetly at Griggs, her fingers trailing up his arm as her other hand swirls the straw in her drink around. He has this smug smile on his face as if in his mind, he has her hooked. He doesn't know he is trying to catch the wrong fish.

Her eyes cut to me for a moment and she moves closer to him, the hand that was on his arm is now on his knee.

Johnny's beside me, watching the same thing I am and I hear him let out a growl.

"Keep your shit together just a little while longer, Johnny boy."

"I hate 's too cocky."

"Ya think?" I smirk crookedly.

"He doesn't even know what the fuck he's getting himself into."

"Oh, he'll figure it out when I"m skinning his prick like a butcher."

"Yeah, about that, ya not really gonna do that, are ya, boss?" He asks and I look at him.

"You don't have to watch." I tell him, glancing at them again.

Now, she's rubbing his thigh, and he's downing his drink, whispering things into her ear and she let's out a seductive laugh.

"Fuck that." Johnny downs his own whiskey. "Gimme the fucking knife and I'll skin his cock for you." He states bitterly.

Hadlynn looks towards us as she and Griggs get up from their bar stools.

I nod at Johnny and we slowly get up and follow after them.

We see she's leading him to the kitchen and I feel a roil of anger as I see him grab her ass. The thought of him touching my Harley like that only a few hours ago, pisses me off more than I was before.

My other guys slip in in front of us and I come in just as Hadlynn kicks him down into a chair.

"Damn," Griggs rubs his chin, looking her up and down, clearly thinking she's that rough with him because she's into kinky shit lie that. The dumb-ass hasn't noticed that he isn't alone with her.

She circles behind him, and I take her place, running my hands through his hair. He leans his head back with closed eyes and moans, and I look at Hadlynn with raised brows. She smirks and slowly walks around to face him, standing in front of him. He looks at her, confused and suddenly startled when he sees that it's not Hadlynn that's making him moan like a bitch.

He snaps around and looks up at me, his eyes widening.

"Ah, shit." he mumbles and I chuckle lowly.

"Griggs." I smile devilishly. "What ya been up to?"

Would just like to say thank you all for your amazing support for me through my hard times, I can't thank you enough for the amazing difference that your wonderful reviews and PM's make. I love you all so, so much and can't wait to share more of my work, and continue this story. IT'S GONE GET GOOD. The short story I said I would write about Lucy/Vinny and their fear of the batman, is in the works. If you're wondering about what the hell that story is based on, not sure exactly what chapter that it's in You'll Always Have Me To Dance With, Lucy and Vinny tell Hadlynn about a story that Joker told them about Batman so they wouldn't ever trust him, which is: Batman kidnaps little boys and molests them (hence why he always has a boy to be Robin) dark on my part to write something like that. That being said, no I do not think rape/molestation of any form is okay, but like how I am with the derogatory terms in my story, it does exist in the real world and just because I write about it, doesn't mean I'm saying it's okay or that I don't mind it. It is a very serious thing that I understand can happen to anyone.

Again, thank you for the unspeakable amount of love and support, I do what I do for you guys. I love you.