The Lives We Lead
VII
A/N: Before we start, I would like to thank each and every one of you for the awesome reviews. Even to this day, they still put a huge arse smile on my face :D - exactly like that. I'm really glad you are all enjoying it. I thought maybe because it had been so long, the story would have been forgotten about and no one would read the update but how wrong was I ey? Lol, very wrong it would seem so a big THANK YOU to you all and seen you have all looked after me, I will try my very best to look after you and get these updates to you in a timely fashion. How does that sound? Good I hope lol. Okay, enough of me rambling on, I'll only embarrass myself. Here is the next instalment of The Lives We Lead…
Side Note: There is a new story out by a very good friend of mine. If you like a good thriller, check it out. It's titled "While You Sleep" by Beck89 and HUGE bonus… plenty of Naomily sexy time. Yeah, I knew you would all like that. Pervs. You should be ashamed of yourselves :P
P.S. Skins Fire never happened okay? Good.
What is happening exactly? I just don't understand it. Why have the police not kicked down my door, thrown me on the ground and slapped a pair of handcuffs onto my wrists? I was waiting for it over in Dover but it never came. I checked the papers, I watched the news. There was nothing. I've been home now for two weeks and still nothing. Darren, Angel's brother has gotten his car back and the insurance has paid for it to get fixed. To say I was confused about the whole situation would be an understatement. Surely the police would be looking for me. It just doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't. I mean, I know the guy wasn't dead when Angel and me left him there and if he did end up dying from the injury I caused, that would have been ALL over the news because the cops would be looking for a murderer. The only thing I can possibly think of that would make a little sense as to why I haven't been sought after is that the guy has woken up and hasn't been able to remember what we look like therefore the police have nothing to go by. I had wiped down Darren's car as best I could but even if our prints did show up on a door handle or window, it wouldn't matter because as its Darren's car and Angel is his sister and me being a friend who is regularly in that car, it is only natural that our fingerprints be there. I mean obviously the guy is alright. I think the police have decided that it's a case that isn't going to be solved so they've dropped it… I hope. I got word back on my mother not long after I returned back to Bristol. She had passed away due to having a massive heart attack. Apparently and not to my knowledge, mum had had one a couple of years ago although it was mild. I can't believe she didn't tell me. That really hurt. Was I really that much of a shitty daughter that she felt she couldn't tell me these things? I tried desperately to answer the question myself and I know I wasn't perfect but mum did tell me everything else that was happening in our lives so in order for me to make some kind of peace with it, I came to the conclusion that she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry. I could live with that answer…
Anyway, after what had happened between Emily and me when we were in Dover, well she has been a little distant with me. Not distant in the way of staying away. She sees me every day and she's been a great help since my mum passed away, she's even slept over when she could. She's been a really good friend but that's the problem. I think I really fucked up this time. I don't want Emily as just a friend especially after having her as my girlfriend. I mean, I don't blame her for not wanting to be intimate with me because what I did to her was just completely fucked up. I know she doesn't hate me because if she did she wouldn't be helping me get through being without my mum but I don't think she trusts me anymore. It really fucking bothers me too because she can. I try to talk to her about what happened but it seems like she can't or doesn't want to because she changes the subject. I don't push her into talking so I just let her go but like, I don't even know if she forgives me for treating her like that. Actually, I don't even forgive myself so realistically I shouldn't expect her to. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea at the time. Well that's kind of a lie, I do. I was being selfish and I was only thinking about what I wanted. I apologise for being vulgar but all I wanted was a fuck. I didn't want the deep and meaningful kissing. I didn't want to whisper "I love you." I didn't want the eye contact, the gentle caressing, the soft touches and little nibbles here and there. I didn't want to hug afterwards, I didn't want to kiss tenderly after she came and have her look at me all lovingly and adoringly. I didn't want any of that. I just wanted to get my rocks off, climb off her, get dressed and leave without saying a word and I'm a fucking idiot. Being high isn't even an excuse. My mum passing away, that isn't either. I don't care that I was hurting or whatever, I know I should never have done that to Emily. Someone else, some random, yeah I couldn't care less but Emily, my Emily… I'm a fucking mess. Just thinking about this shit makes me want to cry. It fucking makes me physically sick. How does someone treat the one they love with all their heart in such a way? How the fuck does that happen? I'm not perfect, no one is but fuck me, I'm a fucking disgrace. I shouldn't even be allowed to love Emily. I don't deserve her. I just fucking proved it, didn't I? Treating her like some slag I picked up at a club on Saturday night. It's completely and totally fucked up. At the beginning, just after it happened I was thinking that Emily was overreacting about the whole thing. I thought it was okay what I did because she was my girlfriend and as long as I didn't stray and sleep with someone else, it was fine. I even compared other times we had slept together. It wasn't always slow and tender. There have been times we had been like rabbits. Many times but those times we had been frantic and eager to make each other feel good didn't compare to what I had done in Dover. Even though we had loved each other 'good and proper', it has never ever come close to just a fuck. It was still passionate, it was still loving. It wasn't cold and emotionless and selfish.
"Hey." I said as I approached the table Emily was sitting at.
Emily had insisted on having a coffee and some lunch at this place. She felt that I had been locked up behind closed doors for too long and she didn't want me turning into a hermit. "Fresh air and a different setting will do you good." she had said. I didn't really want to leave the house but how could I say no to her? It's impossible.
She smiled sweetly at me and responded with her own "Hey." as I slid out a chair and sat down. She waved her hand at the cup that was sitting in front of me.
"I ordered you a short black though it might be a little cold now seen you took your time getting here." She said chuckling.
"Sorry, I lost track… thanks." I said flatly.
I heard Emily sigh heavily before she spoke.
"I haven't heard from you in a few days… have you been okay?" She asked concerned.
I nodded as I took a sip of the warm coffee. Emily was a little light on the sugar so I added another satchel and gave it a stir. I fumbled around inside my pocket for a lighter as I took a packet of smokes out. I offered one over to Emily who didn't fancy a smoke and lit one for myself. I took a huge drag and left it inside my lungs for a good few seconds before exhaling. It gave me a little head spin but fuck did the hit of nicotine feel good. It was needed.
"Did you just need some time to yourself?" She asked inquisitively.
"Yeah." I replied. "I didn't want any company."
She looked at me worriedly but she nodded. She didn't seem happy with the answer, well that was the feeling I got anyways.
"Are you hungry Naoms?" She asked somewhat hopefully.
"No." I replied shaking my head. "But you eat."
"What if I ordered a bowl of wedges with some sweet chilli sauce? Would you pick at those?" She asked.
"I dunno Ems, maybe."
"Okay, I'll order that." She responded as she sat up and reached over to grab my coffee cup. "Here… don't drink that. It probably tastes like shit. I'll order you a fresh one okay?"
"Okay." I agreed pulling out my wallet to give her some money.
"No, don't be silly Naoms… it's on me." She said with a cheeky wink.
She was trying to make me smile. I admit, it worked. She over exaggerated the wink and had I not been feeling so down, I would have laughed hysterically. The way she moved her mouth and her body as she winked was fucking hilarious… I watched her as she approached the counter and spoke to the waitress who in my opinion was looking at Emily a little too hard. I didn't like it. I had gone into a daze and was that focused on the chick at the counter; I didn't even notice that Emily had come back.
"Naoms?... Naomi?"
"Huh?" I said looking up at her.
Emily looked down at my hand with a look I couldn't really read. I guess the first thing that comes to mind is "What the fuck?"
"Are you alright?" She asked.
I looked at my hand, the one she was looking at.
(OOPS)
I had picked up a knife from the table without even fucking realising and was squeezing it that hard my knuckles had turned completely white. I cleared my throat and let go of the knife, putting my hands on my lap away from anything sharp. To be fair though, if there was a banana sitting on the table where the knife was, it would have been that I was holding.
(No, I'm not okay. I didn't fucking like the way that bitch was eyeing you.)
"I um… yeah I'm okay." I said slightly agitated.
(Whoa Naoms… take it down a notch. Jesus fucking Christ. Happy thoughts yeah?... Crazy bitch.)
Emily didn't say anything. She just pulled her chair out and sat down looking at me strangely.
"Are you still… have you still been…"
"What?" I said.
She sighed.
"Have you still been using drugs? You seem extremely edgy."
"Can we not talk about that right now?" I asked, fed up with everyone worrying about what I was doing. I was copping it off Angel as well.
"Naomi, I'm fucking worried about you…"
"I'm fine Ems, really… I am. You can stop worrying now okay?"
Emily rolled her eyes at me.
"Yes Naomi, you're fine. Right as fucking rain." She replied sarcastically.
I didn't say anything. I really wasn't in the mood for this shit. It was starting to feel like I was getting picked on. I couldn't move or do a God damn thing without someone questioning me and to be quite honest even if it was Emily doing the asking, it was driving me mental… The waitress from the counter had strolled over with a small tray that had the bowl of wedges and two coffees that Emily had ordered before. She looked at me and said "Short black?" I nodded, squinting at her a little. I really didn't like her. She turned to Emily and a huge fucking smile spread across her face as she placed the other coffee in front of Emily and the bowl of chips.
"Do you need anything else?" The tart asked Emily.
Emily looked at me quickly and seemed nervous when she saw the look on my face. She looked up at the waitress smiling and said "No thank you. We're fine"
"Are you sure?"
"You heard her. Piss off yeah…" I interrupted.
The waitress turned to me with a shocked expression on her face.
"Excuse me?" She said.
"Piss-Off." I repeated.
Emily reached over the table and placed a hand over my arm to get my attention.
"Naomi…"
I stood up, my chair screeching against the concrete as it slid out behind me. I wasn't in the fucking mood for this shit.
"You have three seconds." I said glaring at her. "One…two…" I stepped around the table as I went to say three… but she fucked off to my disappointment. She had made me angry and now I was left with that anger… I had no outlet. I needed something to punch, her face preferably.
"Jesus Naomi… What the HELL was that?"
"Nothing." I said as I sat back down.
"Nothing? Are you sure about that because from where I was sitting it looked like you were about to kill her." Emily said quickly.
I shrugged as I placed two sugars into my coffee and gave it a quick stir before taking a sip. I could feel Emily's eyes burning into me. I knew she wouldn't drop it.
"I didn't…" I stopped to clear my throat. "I didn't like the way she was looking at you okay? Now can we like move on. She's crawled back into her hole so…"
"Naomi." Emily said. "She is a waitress. It's called customer service. They have to smile, they have to be polite. It's their job."
I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, eye fucking is a part of that job description too ey?" I replied dryly.
"Oh my God, she was not…"
"Ems, you wouldn't know if someone was tryin' it on with you if it was happening right in front of your face."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean Naomi?" Emily said defensively. "I'm not experienced enough to know the difference? Fuck you." She finished standing up, collecting her bag and storming off hurriedly.
"Lovely." I sighed heavily to myself.
I stood up and went in the direction Emily was going. She had gained a lot of distance and it was plain to see that she wanted to get as far away from me as possible. I had to jog just to catch up with her. For someone who had shorter legs than me, she could certainly move quickly. I reached out and grabbed her arm and tugged it lightly for her to stop.
"Wait, Ems… I didn't mean that."
She stopped abruptly with me almost slamming into her.
"Then what did you mean Naomi? We both know I have only ever been with you so tell me what the fuck did you mean by what you said?" She replied raising her voice towards the end. She looked a little hurt.
"Emily I swear I didn't mean that." I said panicked, placing my right hand over my heart as if I was about to sing the National Anthem for the United States of America. "I just meant that…" I paused and sighed. "I meant that you just don't notice when someone is looking at you like that, that's all. It has nothing to do with experience…"
Emily took what I said but there was something else in her eyes. She was still fiery…
"Maybe I should start noticing then seen as you haven't touched me in 2 weeks." She bit back, storming off again.
(Here we go… cat and mouse.)
I run up to her and pulled her back again although I admit it wasn't exactly gentle.
"I don't fucking think so." I growled angrily.
"Why not Naomi? You don't want to fuck me, so I might as well let someone else." She said in a seductive tone which infuriated me.
I fucking hated when she spoke like that. I hated her using the word "fuck" to describe what we do to each other. She knew it too. Was she really trying to fucking wind me up?
"Oh silly me… you already have, haven't you? Remember hun, at the hotel?"
(How the fuck did we go from a slutty waitress to this?)
"FOR FUCKS SAKE EMILY…" I paused. I was too angry. I needed a quick second to get myself under control. "Emily, I'm sorry okay? I really fucking am. I've tried to talk to you about what happened but you don't want to hear it."
She ignored me completely.
"Hmm…" She hummed deep in thought. "You know I might just go back and get her number…" She said. Her tone sounding a little too interested for my liking.
I looked at her in shock as she actually started to walk back towards the café, swinging her hips all sexy like. What the fuck she was playing at? Does she not realise how fucking angry she is making me right now? She knows what I'm like when provoked like this. She knows if she says one word to that fucking slag behind the counter, that bitch is dead. The waitress I mean just to clear that up… Yeah okay, I'm psychotic. I need help, I have anger problems. I don't give a fuck because Emily is mine.
I walked casually, watching Emily like a hawk as she got closer to the café expecting her to stop and turn back around and walk back towards me. She didn't. I bolted. I reached Emily right before she got there, the waitress had spotted her and was already making her way over but boy did she change her mind when she saw me. The look on her face told me she needed a new change of underwear. I dragged Emily towards me and picked her up causing her to shriek. I swung her over my shoulder and walked us both away from that shitty little coffee shop.
"PUT ME DOWN NAOMI." She yelled.
"No." I said calmly. "You might get lost along the way home." I added sarcastically.
"LET ME GO." She screamed, trying to wiggle free.
"Ems, stop it. If I drop you, you'll know about it." I replied.
(Eh, maybe I should put her down. I'm drawing a crowd and it probably looks like I'm kidnapping her.)
I walked a few more metres along the street and turned down a lane. I didn't want to put her down in the middle of a busy road and cause more of a scene when she started screaming at me. I walked us further down the lane and when I was satisfied we were far enough to not really be heard by the many wankers who had now decided to poke their heads into the entrance to get a sticky beak, I bent my knees slightly and allowed her to slide off my shoulder.
SLAP
"Next time I tell you to let me go, you fuck-ing let me go…" She yelled.
I didn't say anything. I just stared at her not quite knowing what to say. What had just happened had me speechless. Emily had never acted like that before and the fact that she actually went back to see the waitress. I was like "Whoa, what the fuck?"
"Emily, what the hell has gotten into you?"
"Not you, that's for sure." She snapped back.
Okay, if you could all see my face right now, you would probably laugh your arses off but fuck… it isn't funny. It was the look of shock horror. I mean, Jesus Christ… who was this person in front of me? It looked like Emily; it smelt like Emily, it sounded like Emily but fucking hell… My Emily doesn't speak like that.
"I… um… what?" I replied. It was pathetic but that's all I could manage to say.
"You heard me Naomi. These last two weeks you have acted like you don't give a fuck about me and I have tried my absolute best to be there for you."
"But…"
"But what? What the fuck could you possibly say?" She screamed. "I guess now since you've had me in the way you wanted, I am no longer your girlfriend then? The thought of touching me repulses you because in that fucked up brain of yours I let you so that means I'm just another slut walking the streets? FUCK-YOU. Leave me alone."
"Emily, fuck… Don't." I said as she tried to walk away AGAIN for what felt like the hundredth time. "I fucking tried to talk to you about it… you know I fucking did." I added completely fucking panicked. I felt under pressure. My hands were trembling terribly.
"When Naomi? When did you seriously sit me down and try to talk to me about what happened?"
"I… um, last…"
She raised her eyebrow at me.
"When?" She repeated.
(Fuck, I don't remember.)
"I… I don't know." I admitted.
"You know why you don't know? Because you haven't even fuck-ing attempted it. THAT'S why."
(No way.)
I stared at her, frowning as I tried to remember. I was sure I tried to bring it up. Of course I would have. This is Emily we're talking about. No, I definitely did. There is no fucking way I didn't try.
"I don't remember when Emily but I fucking remember you changing the subject..."
"What were we talking about Naomi when that happened? Can you tell me that?" She said folding her arms.
(Ummmm…)
Have I been that fucked up these last two weeks? That so far inside my own head that I actually thought and believed that I had tried to talk to her about what had happened back in Dover?
She cut in on my silence.
"The only way I can get you to talk to me is when we argue. I shouldn't have to Naomi. I shouldn't have to drag it out of you like this. If you loved me, you would want to fix this but instead you stay quiet. I can't read your mind. I don't know what you're thinking. I wish I fucking could because this would be so much easier…" she said completely frustrated.
She paused and the look of frustration turned into something much worse. She looked scared.
"Do you still want me?" She said sadly.
And there it was my heart shattering into a million little pieces within seconds. The pain I felt in my chest cavity actually hurt like a motherfucker. It caused me to hunch forward slightly. She has been blaming herself this whole time as if it was her fault. It broke my fucking heart. How could she think that I wouldn't want her after what happened? It should be the other way around. I should be the one who is stressing about that, whether she still wants ME or not… I stepped forward towards her slowly with her putting her hands on my chest to stop me from coming any further. I didn't stop. I delicately took her hands and removed them from my chest and took another step. She was trying so hard not to break down in tears but the tears were coming whether she liked it or not. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer into me, squeezing her tight. I kissed the top of her head firmly, making sure she could feel it.
"Of course I still want you." I whispered. "It was my fault Emily, what happened. Don't you dare think it was something you did wrong, okay?"
She nodded as she cried into my shoulder. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed a silent tear. I couldn't help it. I fucking hated crying but when Emily is hurting the way she is you would have to be made of stone to not be effected by it. I pulled her back slightly so I could see her face and look her in the eye. She would know I was telling the truth if she could see my eyes.
"Emily, I swear on my life that I will never do that to you again… never okay?" I declared as I tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes with my thumb. "I love you." I emphasised.
"I thought you…" She paused when her voice cracked with emotion. "You made no attempt… I thought you had enough of me… you've been so cold lately… I…"
"Shhh." I shushed soothingly. She was starting to ramble.
I leaned in and pecked the tip of her nose.
"Ems, look at me."
It took a few seconds but finally she did.
"Unfortunately for you…" I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. "You're stuck with me." I said with a light smirk on my face.
Although she was still teary eyed, she did manage a chuckle and I was awarded one of her smiles. It was a teary smile but the darkness had lifted. My chest didn't feel so tight upon seeing that. Had this gone on for much longer, I think I would have been hyperventilating terribly.
(Oh thank fuck)
I pulled her in again and gave her a heartfelt hug, kissing her tenderly on the neck. I positioned my mouth near her ear and whispered…
"I want you to come home with me."
"Naomi, I don't think…"
I knew what she was going to say… I stopped her.
"Not for that… so we can talk proper." I stated.
"Okay." She nodded pulling back and wiping her eyes. "I would like that." She added.
I smiled hugely at her. It wasn't meant to be that big but I was just so fucking relieved that we were on the way to sorting through this. I felt like I could actually breathe. I took her hand tenderly and kissed her knuckles as I pulled her gently towards home. We didn't speak during the walk but we didn't need to. It was a comfortable silence and it gave us both time to calm down and think about the things we wanted or needed to say to one another.
WHOA is all I have to say. That afternoon I took Emily home to talk was un-fucking-believable. We talked for a good hour, maybe it was two and we sorted everything out so I'm just going to skip to what happened next. I'm still walking on a cloud because of it AND before you say anything, I did behave myself. I meant what I said about talking but how could I possibly say no to Emily when she came over and stood in front of me, took my hand and walked me upstairs to my bedroom? How could I say no when she gently pushed me down onto the bed and straddled me? I really did try to stop it because I wasn't sure if it was the best idea and if Emily was really ready to do this but when she rocked seductively against me and leaned down further, whispering for me to make love to her… I was a goner. Any resolve I had went straight out the fucking window. It went on for hours. I couldn't get enough of her. At first, I kept the pace slow. I loved her for a good hour and a half before I allowed her to go over the edge. By the time that happened, her cheeks were completely flushed, even the tip of her nose was glowing red. She was trembling all over as her body begged for release but I made her wait for it. I wanted her to feel good for as long as possible. At times I picked up the pace a little to get her closer to the inevitable but when she got too worked up, I would slow right down again. She would make a noise in protest wanting me to keep going. At one stage she even bit my bottom lip, quite hard I might add when she got frustrated but I know even though she was aching for it, she also loved the way I took my time with her. When I decided that I had kept her waiting long enough I kissed her passionately, only pulling away because she needed to breathe. When she knew exactly what I was up to, knowing that I was going to give her what she was craving right at that very moment, she wrapped her legs around me tightly and pulled me impossibly close to her as I used my hips to thrust my hand. Her own hips were rocking up against me eagerly as I crossed the point of no return. Her back arched, her nails dug into the skin of my back leaving claw marks across my shoulder blades. I couldn't take my eyes off of her when she come undone and lost control. She groaned loudly as soon as that explosion tore through her entire body causing her to tense up and cling onto me incredibly tight. Her hips kept moving and showed no signs of slowing down so I kept going. She raised a hand and put it to the back of my neck and stole a kiss from me, panting wildly and clutching a hand full of hair as another orgasm ripped through her while she cried out my name. It was truly a beautiful sight.
It took her a good amount of time to recover from that and while she did, I explored her body further. She liked it when I touched her all over and trailed my hands on every inch of her skin. I was fascinated how my touch still after all this time left goose bumps in the places I roamed. I followed wherever my hands went with my eyes as if I was hypnotised. I licked my lips wanting to taste her desperately. I kissed her passionately slow before I descended down, kissing her neck, her collarbone, her chest… I stopped at her breasts, giving her nipples extra attention before I continued down kissing her across her stomach. She ran her hands through my hair as I got closer to her middle, a gasp escaping her lips when I lightly touched her in a sensitive spot with the tip of my tongue. That same spot I knew would soon be ready and waiting for me to wrap my lips around while my tongue gently massaged. She couldn't get enough and neither could I. I was only planning on teasing her lightly because after those two orgasms… well, I was thinking she would be a little too sensitive for a few minutes at minimum but obviously not because when I had got to that place only I had ever been, she lifted her hips slightly off the bed and pushed me down into her… It went on like this all through the afternoon and with only an hour's sleep in between, it went well into the early hours of the morning until we both physically couldn't take it anymore. It was even a struggle to get into a comfortable spot so after Emily had just finished in a straddling position, she collapsed on top of me exhausted. She slurred an "I love you" before she blacked out completely still quite breathless. I moved her a little to the side and put her legs straight, holding her close to me as I closed my own eyes and tried to drift off to sleep with her. I heard her mumble "I was comfortable." which made me chuckle. She actually wanted to sleep on top of me like that? One of us if not both would have ended up with serious cramps in the morning but I thought it was cute. She moved her leg up lazily and bent it at the knee so it rested over my hips, her arm across my stomach clutching tightly at my side and her face buried in the crook of my neck. I felt her softly kiss the skin there before she went back into the land of nod. I followed soon after content, fully satisfied and fucking ecstatic. I fell asleep with the goofiest looking grin on my face and I know it was still there while I slept because yep, you guessed it. It was there when I woke up... I'm embarrassed to even say this because ya know, it's just not me but it was fucking magical. It always was with Emily and it's only ever been that way with her. She is and always will be the only one. There was no denying it. No matter what, it will only ever be Emily.
It had been a while since I had seen Katie. In fact because I no longer went to school I hardly saw her these days but I had received a call from her earlier in the week wanting to catch up so tonight, Ems, Angel and me are meeting Katie at an old haunt of hers. It's supposed to be a really popular club but what do I know? I haven't been to one for that long, it's not even funny. I've almost been domesticated. Go on, laugh. I know you want to. I blame Emily because all I want to do is lounge around the house all day with her right beside me.
After Emily and me had some um, private time together and decided we'd better get ready because we were late enough as it was, we met up with Angel. She was dressed up to the nines and no doubt out for the kill tonight. I had no doubt she would have all kinds of girls lining up for her attention. The thought made me chuckle and remember the times her and me used to go out together and get up to no good.
"What was that?" Angel asked with an eyebrow cocked.
"What?" I replied still chuckling slightly.
"THAT! Are you laughing at what I'm wearing? What's wrong with it?" She asked sounding offended as she looked down at her own clothes.
"Nothing… I was just… You look fine. Hot even." I replied.
WHACK
"Um ouch." I said after Emily hit me in the stomach. "What was that for?"
"Just remember who your girlfriend is." Emily said playfully.
Angel laughed.
"Oh Ems… trust me when I say this but she is sooo fucking whipped, I doubt it would be something she would forget so easily."
"Oi… I am not." I butted in.
This time both Emily and Angel laughed. I looked at Emily seriously.
"Okay… that's it. You're gone…"
I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer. She shrieked and then started laughing hysterically when I started to tickle her along her ribs.
"OH MY GOD… NAOMI… HAHAHAHAHA STOP IT… OH IT HURTS… STOP HAHAHAHAHAHA."
I continued to torture her a little while longer and then stopped leaving her completely flushed and breathless.
"You are such a prick." She breathed and chuckled at the same time. "You know I hate that."
"Don't lie." I said smirking. "You love it."
I heard Angel clear her throat.
"So, I'm guessing you two have kissed and made up then?"
I turned and looked at Emily and winked at her.
"You have no i…" She covered my mouth, her face an even brighter red.
"Don't you dare Naoms…" She said sounding slightly embarrassed.
"Aw Ems, you just gave it away… I know what you've been doing." She said teasingly, nudging Emily's shoulder with her own.
"I… ARGH." Emily said frustrated. "I hate you both."
I was laughing like a lunatic as Emily displayed an expression that said "I am sooooo fucking embarrassed right now." Angel stood beside Emily and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"It's okay Ems, I was only teasing." Angel said pausing for a moment. "So… how was it?"
"OH MY GOD… I refuse to answer that. You are just as bad as Naomi." Emily replied quickly.
"Okay, okay… enough Ang. She's copped enough for one night." I interjected.
"Oh I bet she has Naoms…" Angel replied with a huge fucking smirk on her face. She's such a smart arse sometimes.
Emily who had been as quiet as a mouse spoke out of nowhere.
"Yes, SHE did Angel… and it was VERY very good."
"Hey, I was better than good." I said wiggling my eyebrows.
Emily rolled her eyes.
"Yes Naoms, okay. You were absolutely fantastic." She replied sarcastically.
"I know." I said with a wink. "I could tell… especially by the way you…"
She cut me off.
"Don't you dare say another word Naomi Campbell."
"Ooooh Naoms, I think you got yourself into trouble now babes." Angel laughed.
I pulled Emily closer to me and kissed her on the lips by surprise. She resisted at first. Ya know, trying to act all pissed off at me but it didn't last long. As soon as I ran my tongue along her bottom lip she immediately responded, kissing me back excitedly and whimpering into the kiss. I pulled back looking smug with Emily looking as if she wanted to run home and throw herself backwards onto the bed and scream "Take me now."
"Will you bitches hurry the fuck up? I'm freezing my tits off." Katie yelled from across the road.
"KATIEKINS." I yelled back excitedly. She rolled her eyes as if she wasn't really happy to see me but I knew she was. The smile on her face gave her away.
We all jogged across the road once the coast was clear and joined Katie. I ran up to her and picked her up and hugged the life out of her.
"In your dreams lezza." She said when I put her down.
I will say, I didn't realise how much I actually missed Katie but it turns out it was a lot.
"I know you missed me Katie… stop pretending." I said.
She looked at me without saying a word. She looked disgusted.
"Maybe a bit." She replied. She stuck her finger out at me. "But that's all your getting muff muncher."
I pretended to snap at her finger with my teeth and grinned massively at her with her making a similar "Argh" sound to what Emily had made not more than 5 minutes ago. Everyone made the rounds, saying hello and what not and after that Katie informed us she knew the bouncer and that was very well by the look of things. We were all forced to stand there and watch them stick their tongues down each other's throat. Emily, Angel and me sounding an "ew" at the same time. It was kind of gross.
"Shut the fuck up." Katie said as she spun around grabbing her sister's hand and dragging her behind her into the club.
Angel looked at me and laughed.
"It's okay Naoms. You only have to lend Emily for a few hours."
I squinted at her which caused her to laugh even harder. Was it that obvious that I was already feeling like I would have a shit night because Katie took Emily and that she would probably want to spend the night with her sister which meant that I couldn't? What the fuck is happening to me? What happened to independent Naomi? Emily has turned into an addiction. I swear she has. The minute she leaves my side, I go into withdrawals. I have turned into a sad, sad SAD fucking loved up loser.
We walked into the club through the same entrance as Katie and Emily did. I hadn't realised but it was the V.I.P. section. Any wonder she put us through that little tongue wrestling show. I scrunched my face up at revisiting the memory. Yeah, not something I want to remember for the rest of my days. Anyway, I laughed when I heard the type of songs they were playing. Turns out it was RnB/Hip Hop night. I honestly thought Katie hated this kind of music. She was always giving me shit about it.
.
… Listen, yo ass is about to be missin'
You know who gon' find you? Who? Some old man fishin'
Grandma wishin' your soul's at rest
But it's hard to digest with the size of the hole in yo chest
Y'all gon' make me lose my mind
Up in here, up in here
Y'all gon' make me go all out
Up in here, up in here
Y'all gon' make me act a fool
Up in here, up in here
Y'all gon' make me lose my cool
Up in here, up in here
.
HAHA, nothing like the old school classics. I found myself getting right into it along with everybody else. It had been so long since I had heard this song. Angel grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor all excitedly.
"OH MY GOD NAOMS… remember this song?"
I nodded with a huge smile on my face as she started to dance around me acting all gangsta-rish.
.
Hold up! Errrrr
One, two, meet me outside
Meet me outside, meet me outside
ALL MY RUFF RYDERS gon' meet me outside
Meet me outside, meet me outside
ALL MY BIG BALLERS, gon' meet me outside
Meet me outside, meet me outside
ALL MY FLY LADIES, gon' meet me outside
Meet me outside, meet me outside
ALL MY STREET, STREET PEOPLES meet me outside
Meet me outside, outside motherfucker
X is got y'all bouncin' again
Bouncin' again, bounce, bouncin' again…
.
I couldn't stop laughing at the way Angel was moving around me. She was imitating me. Years ago we had gone out together to this underground club and had gotten into a spot of trouble. I was dealing at the time. Not full on but when I needed some money to help mum out with the bills so we wouldn't be without electricity or gas. Anyways, this particular night this dude approached me accusing ME of selling his girlfriend baby powder. I don't fucking thing so. If I was selling, I never fucked with other peoples drugs. That was like my number one rule. As you could imagine, he wasn't exactly a happy camper so he got right up into my face. I looked around for Angel because I starting to think I might need a bit of a hand with the situation. Although she was on her way over, she was still a little too far away… He grabbed me by my clothing and pushed me hard up against the wall of the club. It felt like the bastard nearly broke my back. He was lifting me slightly to the point of me being on my tippy toes. He was demanding his money back and I felt that his handling of the situation was quite rude. I ignored him completely and started singing along to the song that was on, the same one that was just on like 2 minutes ago. "Ya'll gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here…" He let me go and stepped back, looked around at the Spector's and started laughing. "Are you's all seeing this? She's fuckin' cracked." I stepped forward immediately and head butted the prick right in the face. Silly boy should never have 1) Been that close to me and 2) Taken his eyes off of the 'enemy'. BIG mistake is all I can say. I felt his nose break against the crown of my skull which made me shiver in slight disgust by the way it just felt like it crumbled. Terrible feeling that was but I guess it was for him too as he dropped to his knees screaming in agony "AHHHH YOU FUCKING MENTAL BITCH." I pushed him onto the floor and stepped over him and walked over to Angel like nothing had happened, still singing along to the song that was playing, gangsta lean and all… I was such a dickhead but at the time I thought I might as well make a show of it seen everyone was watching.
"Do you mind if I cut in?" Emily said as she wrapped her arms around my waist, snapping me back to the present.
Angel who can be quite comical at times reached over and grabbed a random girl by the wrist who was dancing with a group of her friends and spun her around towards her. The poor girl nearly had a heart attack but when she looked at Angel who had a huge grin on her face and then winked, the girl seemed to relax and started to dance with her. It looked so funny.
"Go for your life Ems." She yelled over the music wiggling her eyebrows as she put both her hands on the chicks arse and pulled her in closer as she swayed.
.
Okay, she headed to the dance floor and she slowly start to poppin' it
Something like my wrist piece everybody got to watchin' it
Girl, you got that secret treasure, I'm gon' put a lock on it
Don't care what they say, I would be stupid to be not on it
Heard you go that sticky
Let's go and take 9 shots, we'll just call it fifty
And I'm gonna lick it, lick it, lick it
Till her hicky have her river running
Keep you running 'til you whimpy, bang, bang, bang, bang…
.
"WAIT... no, Ems…" I said panicked.
She raised her eyebrow.
"Yes?"
I looked around frantically. Angel was laughing, probably at my facial expression… everyone else that was near us was watching…
"I… no, don't do that. I don't like it… people are watching you." I said pulling her closer so she couldn't continue with what she was doing. It was something that I would prefer to be kept for my eyes only sort of thing.
Emily chuckled lightly as she leaned in and whispered into my ear.
"Let them…" She said as she grabbed my hand and put it on her left arse cheek. "We both know who gets to REALLY enjoy this later, don't we Naoms?"
I gulped at the thought. I loved it when she got like this, all confident and feisty.
.
I love the way you grind with that booty on me
Shorty you a dime, why you looking lonely?
We'll buy another round and it's all on me
As long as I'm around put it down on me…
Just put it down on me, put it down on me
Down, down on me, put it down on me
Don't throw it off the mound, show me how it's gon' be
Girl, all I really want is you down on me, put it down on me
.
Have you ever seen someone almost buckle? Their legs turn to jelly and you start to see them shaking at the knees as they struggle to hold themselves upright? Yep, that was me and Emily, MY girlfriend rather than help me she laughs. She was loving every minute of it. I could see it all over her pretty little face and boy did she get cocky.
"Fuck." I said after a very loud groan passed through my lips. I even covered my mouth. What the fuck for? I have no idea because it had already been heard. Shock, yeah that's it. I was shocked that I had done that.
(DUH)
The way she was dancing on me… words would not be enough to describe it. You really had to be there. I even forgot that people were gawking at us. I didn't care anymore in fact, I wanted them to look. Is that weird? It probably is but whatever.
It was just… yep, I might as well have just been a pole. I reckon I fucking looked like one to the many onlookers. I couldn't move. I just stood there like a fucking idiot licking my lips as if there was a huge feast in front of me and I hadn't eaten in months. The way she rocked her hips and wrapped herself around me, grinded against me OH MY GOD… Have you ever been in a situation where the person you're attracted to does something that you find incredibly sexy and this annoying thought comes into your head and all you want to do is take them there and then? You don't care if you're in public because they've made you that hot, you don't think you can bear the thought of waiting to get home? That is how I was feeling. I mean I would never do that with Emily, not in front of people but God was she making it difficult for me.
"Where…" I cleared my throat. "Where did you um, learn to do all that?" I said as the song was finishing and she slowly snaked her way up my body. She leaned up onto her toes and gave me a rather sexy kiss that I wished had gone on a lot longer than it did.
"Well…" She started off saying. She took both of my hands and entwined her fingers with mine. "I learnt it from you." She said.
(Huh?)
"But… Ems…" I paused as I started to feel a little bit hot under the collar. I don't dance so there is nooo fucking way she learnt all that from me. I think she picked up on what I was thinking because she didn't wait for me to finish my sentence.
"You know those times when I've been on top of you and your left hand is here…" she said pausing to put my left hand on her hip. "And you're right hand is doing something entirely different..." She said, pausing again to put my hand on her front. "And you move me like this…" she said while she actually did the movement against me.
(OOOOOHHHHHHH I see now.)
"Uhuh." I said nodding slowly.
"Mmm, that's how." She finished off saying with the sexiest look in her eyes.
I leaned in to kiss her…
"Get a fucking room you two… Jesus fucking Christ…"
"Hello to you too Katie." I said disappointedly.
She rolled her eyes.
"I had this real fit bloke lined up and the little show you two bitches put on…" She stopped and huffed. "I had to tell him I was a clitty licker just to keep him interested."
(HAHAHAHAHA oh that's too funny.)
"Well Katiekins…" I said as I picked Emily up, her legs wrapping around my waist immediately. "This "clitty licker" is going home to do just that." I said with a wink.
"Ew, don't say it like that Naoms."
"Oh Ems." I replied with an over exaggerated sigh. "Don't pretend like you wouldn't let me."
She stayed silent for a moment as if she was deep in thought. She turned to Katie before she spoke.
"She's right… I would sooo let her." She confessed giggling.
"Okay bye." Katie said as she spun around, looking quite ill at the thought. She collected the guy she was with and dragged him into the crowd towards the bar.
"HAHA did you see her face?" I laughed to Emily.
Emily turned serious.
"If you were joking about what you were going to do to me… I am going to be very disappointed."
"Hmm, we couldn't have that now could we?" I replied, squeezing her tighter.
"No." Emily responded. "No we couldn't."
The way Emily and me have been as of late, that is exactly how I picture us to be throughout our entire life time. I know she thinks that too. I can see it in her eyes. I really don't ever seeing us getting bored of each other. The thought of boredom and Emily in the same sentence is laughable. It'll never happen.
"There's a lovin' in your eyes all the way… If I listened to your lies would you say…" Emily sang as she danced towards me and took my hands, urging me to dance with her. She loved the 80's. Whenever we were home, she would put her little 80's mix CD on and turn the speaker's way up. I think for her it was like she could muck around, dance and be a little silly and just have a heap of fun. She could let loose, let her hair down… however you want to put it. Her taste was so varied. She was just singing Karma Chameleon by Culture Club and now she was singing Cherry Pie by Warrant. "She's my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise, taste so good make a grown man cry… sweet cherry pie OH YEAH." She never stuck to just one genre, which I loved because I was exactly like that myself. She was so funny… she just had to drop onto her knees and use an empty wine bottle as a guitar. She leaned back and all. She had her hair down so she did a little head bang too, flicking her hair down and in front of her face while the guitar solo played. HAHA, she was getting right into it. It was good to see because I hadn't seen her like this in a while. All the stress from school, my mother's passing, her mother being a massive bitch, me being a prick etc. I think she forgot there for a while how to let go and just be happy.
"Ems… drink?" I asked holding up a bottle of moscato.
She grinned and nodded. She went straight back to entertaining herself while I poured the wine into two glasses… I was a little naughty. You see, I told Ems I had stopped with the gear which was true, I didn't lie but I managed to score a little green from Angel last night and I mean, Emily and me, we used to have a smoke together on occasion and I knew she was coming over tonight so I thought "Fuck it, why not?" I passed her a wine glass as she danced like Madonna to Express Yourself.
(HAHA she's gonna sleep like a baby tonight… all this fucking dancing.)
I showed her the spliff nervously expecting her to throw her wine in my face and yell at me.
"Oh thank fuck Naoms… I could do with one of them…" she said taking a swig from her glass. She squinted at me as she took one from the palm of my hand. "But don't do it again." She added sternly.
I couldn't help but laugh. She started jumping around and away from me. I stepped over and spun her around, producing a lighter as the spliff sat on her lips.
"Hun…" I said as I sparked a flame. "It isn't going to light itself."
She smiled goofily at me and waited for me to light it. She took a big drag and leaned in kissing my lips before pulling back and letting the smoke escape from within her lungs.
"Thanks babe." She said smirking all sexy like and then went straight into singing "Long stem roses are the way to your heart but he needs to start with your head… Satin sheets are very romantic. What happens when you're not in bed?"
Emily stopped all of a sudden and stared at me in shock, her mouth open, her eyes glassy and on the way to being bloodshot.
"What's wrong?" I frowned questioningly.
"You have satin sheets."
"I… eh yeah I do." I replied dragging the "ooooh" sound.
"Well, they're going in the fuck-ing bin." She stated as she started dancing and singing again. "DON'T go for second best baby, put your lover to the test…"
HAHAHA someone has had a little too much to drink… I don't think that spliff is helping either but I loved seeing her like this. She was happy and it made me the same way. I backed away a little until I felt the back of my knees hit the couch and sat down. I lit my own spliff and took a decent drag from it and watched Emily let go of all her worries… Emily seemed to be a bit on the worn out side so once the song finished she lazily dragged herself over towards me and dropped herself onto the couch with a sigh. I offered her a drink from my wine glass as she had run out of hers and she took it eagerly, sculling the remainder.
"Oi, I said a sip." I said grinning.
"Oops." She replied smiling sweet and innocently.
I squinted playfully at her.
"What? I was thirsty… and you love me too much to watch me shrivel up and die from lack of fluids."
"Yuk, that sounded horrible Ems." I said scrunching my face up and repeating the word. "Flu-ids."
Emily burst out laughing.
"How about oils? Better?"
I tested the word.
"Oi-ilsssss…. YES! Much better." I replied chuckling. "Wait? How can you have lack of oils?"
She shrugged.
"I have no fucking idea Naoms." She slurred "Oh wait, you can run out of oilssssss, therefore you would be lacking oilssssss."
"HAHAHA you're a spaz, you know that?"
"Yeah." She said springing up quickly and dragging me up with her. "But you love me anyway."
I smiled warmly and wrapped my arms around her, my forehead against hers.
"That I do… very much." I confessed seriously. I leaned in to kiss her and what does she do? She puts her hand over my mouth and pushes me back.
"OH MY GOD… I love this song!" She screamed.
(Jesus Christ… scare me to death next time babes.)
I shook my head… next time, not so much wine for my girlfriend. I made a note of it as I stumbled back and ended up on the couch again.
.
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll…
.
I sat back and got comfortable as I watched on. God, she was gorgeous. She really was. I lit another spliff and continued to observe Emily as she danced to the song unaware that I was watching. When she got like this it was like she was lost in the moment, lost in the music and didn't know what was going on around her. It was hypnotic to witness. How I wish I could travel to the place she was in right now and experience it for myself. Heaven I imagine it to be like. The song finished and went on to the next track. I gulped when Emily slowly turned around; back from the place she had been and stared at me intensely. She slowly walked over as I stayed seated on the couch, swaying her hips as she closed the distance between us. I had a feeling she was suddenly in the mood by the way she was staring at me…
.
There you go flashing fever from your eyes
Hey baby, come over here and shut them tight
I'm not denying, we're flyin' above it all
Hold my hand, don't let me fall
You've such amazing grace, I've never felt this way
.
When Emily had reached me, she took my hands and placed them on her hips as she straddled me. She pushed herself close to me, leaning in and whispering the chorus of the song as her hips started to rock to the beat in the most sexiest way.
.
Ohhhh ohhhhh, show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Ohhh ohhh ohhhh, show me heaven please
.
I never really liked this one. It was one of those mushy lovey dovey 80's songs but I can tell you right now, it was my favourite starting from today. Emily was giving me a sort of lap dance. It was sexy, it was slow, it was sensual and classy and it made me throb intensely. I won't lie or beat around the bush because it did. It was unreal.
.
Here I go, I'm shakin' just like the breeze
Hey baby, I need your hand to steady me
I'm not denying, I'm frightened as much as you
Though I'm barely touching you
I've shivers down my spine and it feels divine
Ohhhh ohhhhh, show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless…
.
I couldn't take it anymore. Not with the way she was whispering the lyrics and not with the way she was moving her body against me, trailing my hands all over her and bringing them up to her breasts before descending back down again. It was erotic… I moved myself forward off the couch, wrapping my arms around her back for support as I placed her onto the rug on the floor of the lounge room. I undressed her slowly and tenderly and when I was done undressing myself, I placed myself between her thighs, lightly grinding my hips against her as I kissed her slowly and passionately.
.
If you know what it's like to dream a dream
Baby, hold me tight and let this be
Ohhhh ohhh ohhhhhhhh ohhhhh, heaven, cover me
Leave me breathless
Ohhh ohhh ohhh, heaven please
.
I was going to show her heaven alright and she knew it. Leave her breathless too. It's all I wanted to do. It was the only thing that was on my mind. I groaned when I felt how excited she was as I rocked into her easily. She gasped when I pressed a little firmer, my hand trailing down slowly towards the place my hips were working… I took her left thigh, squeezing it firmly as I hooked it around my waist. I slowly moved my hand to her middle and rubbed her teasingly. I leaned down and took her lips with mine giving her the most sensual kiss I could muster. A moan escaping her lips, followed by a gasp as I pushed up into her. She clutched onto me tightly as I started to slide against her body, up and down slowly but with a firmness to it that drove Emily absolutely crazy. She squeezed her left leg tighter around me, holding me closer as my hips rocked my hand into her forcing me in deeper. She was panting quite severely by this stage, kissing me roughly when she felt the need to have her lips pressed up against mine, her tongue darting out wanting to kiss the life out of me.
I flipped us over, Emily on top of me, me on my back as she started to rock against my hand. She leaned herself back, rocking her hips rhythmically, her hands resting on my thighs to hold herself up. My left hand snaking up along her body and up to her breasts. Her hips bucked eagerly as she groaned and threw her head back. Immediately after, she leaned forward with her hands resting on my stomach as she picked up the pace. I placed my hand back onto her hip, guiding her. She loved it when I did that. She loved when I helped her grind down harder, work her hips that little bit quicker into my thrusts. She was starting to get close. Emily was digging her nails into my stomach, trying to clutch on…
"I KNEW IT." Jenna screamed.
(OH MY GOD.. How many fucking times is that now? Being walked in on? Jesus fucking Christ.)
Emily shrieked and dove to the far side of me away from "Mummy Dearest." in a desperate attempt to hide her nakedness and probably to say "We weren't doing anything." Which I don't think would have exactly worked. Jenna stormed over towards me and slapped me hard across my face not once but twice as Emily hid behind me.
"You little cunt. I fucking knew it." She yelled.
(Whoa, for miss prim and proper that was a really BAD fuckin' word for her to use.)
She grabbed Emily by the hair and dragged her up from behind me with Emily screaming in pain. She let her go and demanded she got dressed "this instant." I quickly chucked on my jeans and t-shirt too because I wasn't sure if Jenna was going to have another go at me and it wasn't something I wanted to sit through naked.
(How the fuck did she find out?)
"Guess who I saw Emily? Your GIRLFRIEND Angel at the fucking supermarket with a man instead of my daughter." She snarled. "And all this time you have been running around like a little slut letting this, this thing touch you."
Jenna went to slap Emily but I lunged forward and grabbed Jenna's hand. I squeezed it tightly completely fucking angered.
"Don't you fucking dare…" I growled.
"Naomi don't." Emily shrieked, thinking I was going to hit her mother.
"Get your filthy hands off of me." She yelled as she flicked my arm off of hers. "AND YOU… I raised you better than that." She said pointing a finger and glaring at her daughter angrily.
"Back off Jenna." I said calmly wrapping my arm around the back of me to pull Emily closer.
Jenna pushed me out of the way and stormed over to Emily, grabbing her by the ear.
"Being with her, you'll only ever be a slut Emily. What don't you understand?"
I grabbed Jenna and pushed her away from my girlfriend in protection. I know it was Emily's mother but fucked if I was going to stand there and let Jenna hurt her.
"If you call her a slut one more time Jenna, I will put you through that fuck-ing window. Emily's mother or not I couldn't give a flying fuck." I yelled aggressively. "Don't fucking push me."
"Naomi please… it's okay. She doesn't mean it, she's angry." Emily pleaded as she stepped around me and faced her mother, still trying to fix her clothing.
"Mum, please… I love her."
Jenna scoffed.
"Love her? Emily…" Jenna paused shaking her head. "Do you really think she loves you back? Do you really think you're the only one? I'm disappointed in you. I thought you would be smarter than that."
I rolled my eyes at the things her mother was saying. Seriously, what the fuck would Jenna possibly know? I went to say something but was cut off by Emily.
"She does love me mum. She does. I'm not idiot. If she didn't I wouldn't fucking be here." Emily yelled at her mother in frustration.
"Emily, you don't know what love is. You're too young. Can't you see? She's manipulated you. You gave her what she wanted and now it's only a matter of time before she moves on to somebody else."
(WHAT THE FUCK is this bitch on about?)
"Gave her what she wanted? GAVE HER WHAT SHE FUCK-ING WANTED?" Emily screamed. "Maybe I wanted it. Did you ever think of that? Maybe when I'm done I'll move onto somebody else…"
(OH MY GOD… No, don't say that. She's gonna go mental Ems.)
I felt my chest tighten a little when Emily said that. I knew she didn't mean it and that she was trying to get across to her mother in the basic sense that it 'takes two to tango' sort of thing but yeah.
SLAP
Oh that's it. I'm really fucking pissed right now. The only reason I haven't gone at Jenna already is because she is Emily's mum and I need to respect her to an extent but it's getting to the point of no return. Once I get to a certain boiling point, I can't control it. She's fucking pushing me into doing something I am going to regret if she continues on like this.
"Jenna, please… I'm warning you, do not raise your hand towards Emily again." I said nervously knowing exactly what was going to happen if she didn't heed my warning.
Seeing that happen to Emily by ANYONE brought out a completely different Naomi. One that didn't have patience, one that didn't take shit, one that didn't care who or what you were, one that couldn't stop once she started… That Naomi was dangerous and I think she could do ANYTHING she had to do to make sure the one she was protecting, was protected. If Jenna didn't get a clue, she was going to meet that Naomi any minute now. I couldn't hold her off any longer. She was on the surface just waiting for the next wrong move to take place.
"DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN ME YOUNG LADY…" Jenna screamed. She looked around my house questioningly. "Where is THAT mother of yours? GINA… GINA… Where is she Naomi? I can smell the dope. Any wonder you're the way you are with a role model like that…"
Emily immediately tackled me to the ground when she saw me head straight for her mother. I hit my chin on the floor, biting right through my lip and felt absolutely nothing. No pain whatsoever. I shook off the dizzy feeling and somehow got out of Emily's tight grip and lunged at Jenna, my hands around her throat and the blood from my lip dripping down my chin and all over Jenna as she lay on the floor below me. Her eyes were wide open as I squeezed her neck as hard as I possibly could. My mission: To kill and fucking destroy. Jenna was slapping my shoulders struggling to breathe as I pushed down harder.
"Jesus fucking Christ…" I heard Angel say in shock right before she knocked me hard off of Jenna. Jenna went into a coughing fit as her throat opened up and she tried to breathe.
"Get her Emily…" Angel instructed as she went to check on Jenna.
I felt Emily fall behind me and wrap her arms and legs around my body so I couldn't move.
"You fucking cunt…" I yelled trying my best to get free of Emily.
Thoughts of my mother crept in and I just crumbled. Embarrassingly I broke down in tears. Emily, judging by the sound of her voice was crying too. She placed her mouth beside my ear and whispered that it was okay.
Angel helped Jenna up off the floor.
"GINA, GINA… You.." Angel cut her off and slammed Jenna into the wall.
"She's fucking dead you stupid bitch."
By now, I had stopped the tears and just lay slumped on the floor with Emily still holding onto me, no longer interested in what was going on. Emily saw the fight had left me and so she let me go and we both sat on the couch. Emily sat on my lap. I think she did that just to be sure. She knew I wouldn't throw her off me and risk hurting her if Jenna said the wrong thing.
Jenna looked as if the world was going to end. She had a look of shock plastered all over her face.
"Look at you in your fancy fucking clothes, your fancy fucking car pointing your finger at anyone who doesn't fit your fucking standards. Everywhere you go you leave a trail of destruction and you don't even care if your own kids are in the way. As long as you get what you want, you don't care who the fuck you hurt, do you Jenna?" Angel said.
"Look what we've done tonight. Are you proud of yourself?" She continued pointing at Emily and me. "They love each other for fucks sake. You have to be fucking blind to not see that."
"I don't care. Naomi will never be good enough for Emily." Jenna said coldly.
"That isn't your fucking decision to make is it?" Angel replied. "And how dare you come here and disrespect not only your own daughter but Naomi and her fucking mother? Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"I'm sorry Naomi, I didn't know your mother was…"
"FUCK YOU." I screamed. "Stick your sorry up your fucking arse."
Emily squeezed me tighter.
"Naoms, it's alright… it's okay. Calm down." She whispered.
"You know Jenna, Gina may have been a lot of things but I can tell you right now you would never be half the mother she was. You don't even come close." Angel stated looking Jenna up and down in disgust. "I think you should fuck off back home before I let Naomi go you again."
"Emily, come on. Let's go. We've overstayed our welcome."
"NO mum, you've overstayed your welcome." Emily said flatly.
Jenna adjusted her clothes and fixed her hair.
"Emily, I said we're going. Get in the car."
I didn't want Emily to go back home with that bitch. For one, I knew Emily was going to get it when she got home and I knew Jenna still had the apron strings attached tightly and she would do anything she could to ensure her daughter stayed away from me. Anything.
I pulled Emily closer towards me.
"Ems, if you don't go with her… shits only gonna get worse." I whispered.
"You don't want me here?" she whispered back.
"Of course I do…"
She cut me off.
"Then I'm staying." She said defiantly. I knew I wouldn't be able to change her mind. The thought of using school as an argument crossed my mind briefly but seemed dumb and weak considering the circumstances.
Emily, who had fire in her eyes leaned forward and kissed me passionately.
"EMILY" Jenna screamed.
"Mrs Fitch, I believe your daughter has made her decision. You can leave now." Angel said.
"If you think for one minute that I'm going to let you ruin your life with this no hoper, you've got another thing coming. Do you hear me Emily?"
"Mum, please… I love her. Why can't you just accept that?" Emily responded pleadingly.
Jenna squinted at her daughter.
"I'll never accept it Emily. Never." Jenna said, picking up her handbag and leaving through the front door. We stayed silent as we heard her slam her car door and take off rather quickly, her tyres screeching terribly against the road.
Angel looked apologetic for what had happened but I told her it wasn't her fault. We all half expected to get caught eventually; we just hoped it was after Emily graduated. Emily burst into tears out of nowhere and collapsed onto me completely broken and shattered.
"Why don't you two go upstairs and have a nice hot bath yeah? Calm down a bit? I'll make something to eat and bring up a round of hot chocolates when you's are done? Angel offered.
"Thanks Angel." I replied.
She smiled warmly and went into the kitchen. Emily was that distraught she couldn't even move so I put her to the side onto the cushion of the couch and stood up. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck and cried into my shoulder as I took as both upstairs.
I wasn't sure what was going to happen from this day forth but I knew whatever it was, I would do my best to be there for Emily. I would provide her with a roof over her head. She wasn't going to be left on the street. No fucking way. I would even figure out a way to pay for her to go to school if I fucking had to. I would do anything for her but I guess you already know that. Whatever she needs, it's hers. I don't care if it kills me.
Emily,
I'm going out of my mind here. I need to know you're okay. I'm sorry. I really fucking am and I get it if you don't want to talk to me but all I ask is that you send me something so I know you're okay. Just a simple "Yes" would be enough.
I still love you Emily. Please, I need to talk to you. Write back, I'm fucking begging you.
N. xoxo
I don't know why she won't reply to me. I've explained to her why I had to go. She knows why. That bitch Jenna went straight to the police station and reported the 'assault.' She had the marks around her neck to prove it. They didn't come for me straight away. It took a few days. I was on my way home after hanging out with Angel and as I went to cross the park to get to my house, I saw three cop cars waiting out the front with their lights on. At first I thought something happened to Emily but that thought quickly went because Emily wasn't at my house that night. I kept walking and mingled in with the spectators hovering around. I asked one of the neighbours who I recognised what was going on. He knew who I was and pushed me towards the bushes so the cops couldn't see me.
"Are you fuckin' mental? They're after you girly." He had said.
I didn't reply because I honestly did not know what to say.
"They be looking for a young blonde. They want to talk to her about an incident up near Dover and another that took place a couple days ago. You're fucked."
"Shit.. fucking… FUCK."
"I don't know if you had anythin' to do wif it and I don't really care but unless you wanna get banged up, you best fuck off before they spot that blonde hair o' yours."
What was I supposed to do? I couldn't hand myself over. God knows how long I'd be stuck in jail for.
"Here, it's not much but it's enough to get as far away from this place as possible. Go, leave."
And so I did. I made one stop before I did though. I went to the Fitches residence. I needed to speak to Emily. I wanted her to come with me. I didn't know where we would go but as long as she was with me, everything would be okay. There was a police car out the front of their place too. I don't quite know why. Who knows what Jenna has told them about me? The police were inside the house so I crept around the side to where Emily's room was. She was there to try and sort out what had happened when Jenna came over to my house and if it couldn't be sorted, she was going to pack her belongings and come to mine. I picked up a handful of small stones and tossed a few up at Emily's window hoping and praying that she was in her room. I threw a couple more… and finally the window slid open but to my dismay, it wasn't Emily. It was James.
"EMILY… YOU'RE GIRLFRIENDS THROWING ROCKS AT YOUR WINDOW…"
"SHHHH James…"
But it was too late. I heard movement from within the house and then the front door burst open. I was sure of one thing; it wasn't Emily coming out to greet me.
"Hold it right there missy…"
I ran. I had to. I could always come back for Emily. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It really did but now she won't even talk to me. I've tried to call her; I've tried to call Katie. I've sent Angel around but she doesn't even know where Emily is. She hasn't been to school and neither has Katie. I've considered going back to see for myself but I know it's too soon. My face is still fresh in the minds of the local cops… I have to wait it out. They'll soon forget about me. I know that much. There will be bigger fish to fry as the time drags on, my case closed due to lack of evidence and all that. I just… I must have sent over 30 letters in the last 4 months trying to contact Emily. Not one of them has been replied to or sent back so I know she's getting them. I know she is still in Bristol but there is nothing I can do. I don't want to go to prison. Nobody does. I fucking hate Jenna for what she's done. I will never forgive that bitch for taking Emily away from me. I wouldn't even piss on her if she was on fire. The thought of going back to Bristol for revenge has crossed my mind many times. Even now as I write this, I want her to get what's coming to her. I should have snapped her neck when I had the fucking chance. Dumped her body and been done with her. I know, I'm being stupid but I am just so fucking angry at her. I miss Emily like I would miss my own fucking limbs. I feel lost without her. It's unbearable, the thought of not ever seeing or being with Emily again. I might as well just put a bullet through my fucking head… No, I can't do that. Stop it Naoms… Look at me? I'm a fucking mess. Is this what it has come to? I'm fucking talking to myself now… what's next? Don't worry; I'm not going to top myself. I wouldn't give that fucking bitch the satisfaction.
I'll keep trying. I'll continue to write for as long as I possibly can. I'm not letting her go. I refuse to. She needs to be standing in front of me looking me right in the eye, telling me "I don't want to see you again." for me to walk away. I'd be heartbroken but if that's what she wants, those are the conditions. I really should sort myself out though. I've been drinking like a fish, smoking like a chimney and snorting like my life depended on it. Vodka, weed and MDMA is what my life has ended up being like. That's my breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's fucking sad. It really is. I just can't fucking handle these fucking dumb emotions I'm feeling. It's all fucking new to me. I haven't loved before and I haven't lost before. It's no excuse. If I do ever get in touch with Emily, I can't go to her looking the way I do. I'm like the walking dead. It's got to stop and it will. I'd do anything for her. Anything…
Ems, please… I'm fucking lost without you. I need to see you. N.x
I slipped the note into an envelope, sealed it. Popped a stamp on the fucking thing and made my way out of this dingy hole I now called home. I walked to the nearby letterbox and slipped the envelope inside.
"Please Emily… please just fucking talk to me." I whispered to myself.
So, that's the end of the chapter… don't forget to review. It motivates me to write :)
Lyrics used in this chapter:
Party Up – DMX
Down On Me – Jeremih ft. 50 Cent
Karma Chameleon – Culture Club
Cherry Pie – Warrant
Express Yourself – Madonna
We Built This City – Starship
Show Me Heaven – Maria McKee
