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One thousand miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again
I don't hate you
I don't hate you no
Rise Against - Savior
When Sigrun woke up the next morning she knew it was late, and as her heart sunk she also realized she had missed the send-off ceremony. Trying to convince herself that Odin and Thor wouldn't care and that she would have preferred to chew glass than see Loki after last night, she pulled the covers back over her head.
And this is why you shouldn't fall in love (she was pretty sure this is what this was) with your best friend.
She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut, what a mess. Had this been a normal situation, she would have Loki to complain too about the guy she liked, and the pair of perfect tits he brought to the ball. Nothing could ever be simple, could it?
And the last words she had said to him before he got whisked off to war was "wear a condom."
Fuck.
Visions of Loki, fondling Sif's boobs, as he kissed and nipped her neck while she breathed lustfully danced inSigruns mind.
"Urgh, what the fuck!?" She yelled, throwing back the covers and jumping out of bed.
Just in time to come face to face with Frigga who had just entered her room.
"Well, I certainly hope you are deathly ill." She said coolly.
Just about…
"I didn't feel well this morning."
"You should have been there."
Sigrun sighed and walked to the wash basin to splash some cold water on her face, "Thor would just be annoyed with me, I've been to enough send off's for Odin that I know he wouldn't care, and I'm positive Loki was too busy with Sif to even notice I wasn't there."
"Loki wasn't with Sif."
"He seemed pretty with her last night." Sigrun mumbled into the towel as she dried off her face.
"Is that why you left the ball early? Loki followed and never came back. He was pretty subdued this morning."
Good, I hope he feels like shit. Sigrun thought stubbornly.
"I didn't feel good then either."
"It's not like the two of you to have a fight." Frigga looked Sigrun up and down, and Sigrun had the suspicion that she knew exactly what was going on.
"We will get over it I'm sure."
Not bloody likely.
"I'm sure you will."
There was a long pause, Sigrun stared at her reflection in the basin, willing Frigga to go away so she could continue being the star of her pity party.
"Make sure you are available tonight,"Frigga said finally turning to leave, "we have a tough job to do."
"What is it?"
"You'll see soon enough."
And with that, Sigrun was left alone.
The job, it turned out, wasn't just tough, it was horrifying.
Sigrun met Frigga by Heimdall, at the entrance to the Bifrost, The bridge was teeming with hundreds of families, all anxious to hear about their loved ones and how they fared that day.
As the room began to spin and figures began to spill in, Sigrun realized with a lump in her throat that many had not done well at all.
Her ear's rang when the wailing started as mothers recognized their children, some dead, some injured. Frigga grabbed her arm and pulled her to follow the procession to the catacombs beneath the city. Sigrun had only ever been there once, on a dare from Thor, and she vowed to never go back. Her body grew cold as she descended the steps.
"We have to help prepare the bodies." Frigga whispered a job she had done many times before. As Allmother, she took it as a privilege and looked almost serene as she washed the bodies and stitched the wounds as best she could.
Sigrun, on the other hand, had all she could do to not vomit. The smell of blood tickled her nose, and soon her fingers were stained red, that the thought would never wash off. Once the bodies were washed and dressed, the men laid them in boats and began to lay offerings around them. Sigrun wasn't sure how physical things could be used in the afterlife but didn't feel like now was the time to ask.
Standing next to Frigga on the shores of Asgard's ocean, Sigrun shivered as the cool night air wiped threw her cloak like, she might as well have been wearing nothing.
Frigga then led the entire realm of Asgard into reciting the funeral prayer as the boats were pushed out into the water,
"Lo, There do I see my Father
Lo, There do I see my Mother and
My Brothers and my Sisters
Lo, There do I see the line of my people back to the beginning
Lo, They do call to me
They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla
Where thine enemies have been vanquished
Where the brave shall live Forever
Nor shall we mourn but rejoice for those that have died the glorious death."
Sigrun finished quietly after everyone else and jumped as Frigga motioned for the archers to set fire to the boats. The horizon lit up in a bright orange glow, and Sigrun hoped it wouldn't be like this tomorrow.
Sigrun slept fitfully that night. She kept dreaming that she was walking in a field littered with dead bodies barefoot, and she kept slipping on blood. There were two figures that she knew were Odin and Thor, and they kept kicking something in-between them, she tried to get closer to see what it was but the ground was so slippery and she got nowhere.
But in the morning she wouldn't remember the dream.
The next day was very much the same, only now the wailing filled her head at night, and she could remember bits and pieces of her dreams in the morning.
By the end of the first week, the numbers of dead and wounded decreased, which she took as a good sign. And at night she was eager to get to bed so she can see if her dream self would get any closer to Thor and Odin.
It began almost as soon as she closed her eyes. She was so close now that she could make out their faces, she struggled against the wet grass and severed limbs, Thor turned his head slowly to her,
"What are you doing little sister? Want to join?" His voice echoed, as he aimed a kick toward her and sent whatever it was sailing in her direction. It bounced a few feet away from where she stood and rolled slowly toward her.
When she came face to face with Loki's head, she woke up screaming.
Drenched in a cold sweat, Sigrun covered her mouth with her hand to stop screaming.
That was his fucking head!
Wasn't Frigga always the one who said dreams mean something? What if something happened?
What if he was…
No.
Nope.
Not gonna go there.
There was a quiet knock on her door, "Come in, sorry I woke you- oh…" She stopped short as Loki's head peeked around the door.
"I hope there is a body attached to that." She said stupidly.
"What?"
"Nothing."
Loki edged his way into the room, his armor and skin caked in dirt and blood and torn in places.
"When did you get back?"
"A few minutes ago. I came right here."
"Oh…you didn't think to get seen by the healers first?"
"It's nothing serious."
"Oh."
An awkward silence settled over them.
"I'm glad you didn't die."
Loki laughed, "You and me both."
Sigrun opened her mouth to speak, but Loki interrupted her, "I'm sorry, the ball, I was stupid. I didn't think it would backfire like that. It was a total fuck up."
"What did you expect would happen?"
"That either you wouldn't care…"
"Or?"
"God's Sigrun, I love you don't you see that?"
She stared at him open-mouthed, "Oh I knew that, you know, with you kissing Sif and all."
Loki stared at his muddied boots, "I didn't think it through, and it was a total clusterfuck. I just...didn't know how to approach to subject with you. I mean, it never was a secret, obviously, that we aren't related, but we were raised together, you and Thor have that type of relationship. I thought I was reading to much into it, that maybe you were fine with us just being best friends, and that it would be weird for you. That you saw me the same as Thor."
"I don't."
"You don't what?"
"See you the same as Thor."
His face looked hopeful, "So?"
"You are still my best friend, I just don't want it to ruin that, you know? I mean it almost did already."
Loki crossed the room hurriedly and sat next to her on the bed, "I know…and I am so sorry for that. We can go slow, you know, ease into it. If it gets weird we can back out and just forget about it okay?"
Sigrun nodded, her heart swelling, "Probably won't though. Get weird, I mean"
"I don't think so either." He reached out a slightly dirty hand and cupped her face, running his thumb along her cheekbone.
"I missed you, so much." She said softly, leaning into his hand.
"I missed you too." Leaning forward so their foreheads touched, "Can I?"
She knew what he meant.
Kiss.
Kissing.
Woah.
She gave a quick nod.
If she had to explain it to someone, she would tell them it was like she was a coiled spring, and when his lips touched hers, her body snapped in release, or that she was zapped by lighting. Maybe that was closer to the feeling, as her whole body tingled in response, as she kissed him back, nibbling lightly on his bottom lip.
After a time, they pulled apart breathlessly, "Wow." They said together.
"So, as my best friend, I guess I can tell you about that guy at the ball last week." Sigrun said seriously.
Loki laughed loudly, "I can already tell I'm gonna want to kick his ass."
