BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )

SORRY! I am so sorry that I forgot to put my author's notes in here! Especially my apologies to those who put me as favorite author, this story on favs and alerts! Mea culpa! My warmest and heartfelt thanks go to: The Golden Echo, Aeir-Raven, Yaini, and Warrose. You gave me a little squee every time I saw the alerts. And to Caledvwlch for the short and complete story, "Letters."

My special love and affection to Night Hunter MGS (your review made me cry, my friend), he is my content beta and ass kicker (mine the ass being kicked when it needs it) who gave me the last kiss from Ser Gilly idea; and to Ladyamesindy who also does content and phrasing beta for me (not to mention being a spectacularly talented writer, and a dear friend); and Violet Theirin (another talented writer, and sweetheart) who gave me the scene with Ser Gilmore and his last kiss, at the end. Thanks, guys! : )

And my signature love and appreciation for all of you my lurkers, my readers, my reviewers, both old and new (Yaini)! I appreciate you all so much! It really helps keep the creative fires stoked.

Blessings!

Kai heard a high pitched scream followed by deep growls and wet crunching noises, which barely registered as the world receded as if she were watching everything from a distance and found it mildly fascinating. She found herself observing the way Dairren's blood made a red mirror reflecting the doorway and the figures in it.

It was the silhouette reflected in blood raising a sword to strike the Mabari that snapped her out of her thoughts and brought her back to attention. She spun around the door and gave the swordsman a roundhouse kick to the chest causing Argus's would be attacker to bend over gasping. Kai then put her back to the man's chest giving his face a sharp blow with her elbow; she felt the warmth of the blood from his nose soak the cloth of her sleeve. She stepped forward and turned to face him; and before he could recover she grasped the soldier's hand, wrapping her fingers over his, as she twisted the sword towards him forcing him to impale himself on his own blade.

His eyes widened in shock as blood fountained out of his mouth, and he stared stupidly at the blade and their entwined hands. He was the smarmy bastard in the Great Hall that she had spoken to. He raised his eyes to hers, and she cocked an eyebrow as she gave the sword a twist causing a sickening sucking sound as the blade rotated and more blood ran around the metal.

Kai pulled it back out and ripped it from his dying grasp, letting him fall as she pivoted towards his fallen fellow who lay under three hundred pounds of Mabari war dog as he made gurgling noises.

"Glaoigh ar ais ar!" Kai called Argus off with a specific command and a hand signal. She walked over to the prone archer. His face and arms were a mass of mangled red meat, hardly recognizable as human appendages. He was still breathing. Kai took a moment to look down at the man who had put an arrow through Dairren's heart, before kneeling down slightly and ramming the sword through what was left of the man's mutilated visage with a force hard enough to chip the sword point on the stone as she drove it through. As with the other guard, she twisted the sword before pulling it back out.

She stood for a moment, more warm blood pooling around her bare feet. A wave of nausea hit her, but she swallowed it down. She turned to Argus, pointing to the man who she had just planted the sword in, as well as his dead companion, and then back to her bedroom, "Sracann tú." The Mabari gave her an affirmative bark and proceeded to drag the body by the ankle to the doorway behind him.

Kai ran back into her room to grab the large heavy wool rug at the foot of her bed. She bundled it up as best she could and by the time she rolled it into a more manageable heap Argus had already pulled the second body into the room.

Since she didn't know when more men might come to check on the first, she decided to cover up the blood as best she could and buy time, she hoped. The rug was a deep red the color of maple leaves with Ceffyls and ravens worked out in black along with knotwork spirals and a braided border. She figured the red and black would not show the blood as the rug soaked it up.

She laid it out, and it was just big enough to cover the blood pools and the smears leading to her bedroom. Kai stepped back inside and shut and locked the door. She studiously avoided looking at Dairren's rapidly cooling body lying where it had fallen, nor did she look at the bodies of Howe's men.

Kai focused her attention on opening the chests in her room pulling out an undershirt, her armor, her daggers, and a bag of coins she always kept her monthly allowance in. The coin bag was heavy as she hardly ever spent it. She had two well used but serviceable daggers, and her parents supplied her with armor. Since she didn't spend her money on jewelry, shoes or the other sundries other nobles' daughters seemed unable to live without, she never really had anything to allocate the money for. She usually put it back into the family treasury when the bag got full and she needed the room. She had asked her father to stop giving her an allowance, but he had just smiled and told her one day she might find something she really wanted to buy and she would at least have the money to spend. "Always practical, my fierce girl," her father had said. She figured they all might need it once they escaped Highever. What she had could be added to whatever was in their emergency supplies.

Kai got herself buckled in by buckling up the cuirass part of the way and slipping it on to buckle the rest. She strapped on her daggers and started for the door when her foot slipped in Dairren's rapidly congealing blood. She finally allowed herself to look at him one last time. She bent down and with a shaking hand closed his eyes, put a light kiss on his cooling lips and ran her fingers through his soft copper hair. Her heart lurched into her throat.

She rose and wiped away tears that she had not realized had fallen, then she deliberately shut off any feelings. She cleared her mind, especially of that part of herself that wanted to run screaming from the room. The part of herself that wanted nothing more than to throw herself over Dairren's prone form and weep and gnash her teeth. But she shut it all out, all of it save the cold icy anger...that she kept.

She looked at the hand sticky with his blood from kneeling beside him and wiped it on the bed clothes before grasping the handle and cracking the door open slightly. Kai glanced towards the door leading out to the guestrooms and then swung her gaze toward her parents' bedroom. She saw two men with a hand held battering ram of thick wood hacked to a point, as they swung it at the thick oak barring their entrance to the bedchamber.

They were animated and shouting loudly. Kai could only imagine her parents had barred themselves behind the door. She gave Argus the hand signal for "walk softly" as she crept around her own bedroom door and used her stealth to walk the length of the hallway. When they drew close enough to hear the men shouting at the doorway, something about the teyrn, where was he, Kai gave Argus the signal to charge. Kai watched as he knocked the man holding the battering ram down on the ground on his stomach and savaged his neck ripping open the man's jugular while standing on his back. Argus's distraction allowed her to plunge her dagger into the second soldier's kidney as he turned to see why his fellow warrior was screaming. When he faced Kai, she swiped her second blade across his throat almost severing the man's head from his neck.

Kai pounded on her mother's door and whispered urgently for her. The door opened and her mother's strong hand pulled her inside the room before shutting the door again once Argus had entered. "Darling, I heard fighting outside. I feared the worst! Are you hurt?" Eleanor spun Kai around looking under the blood splatter for any wounds to see if any of the blood was Kai's.

"Those men, they killed Dairren." Kai felt a catch in her throat and her voice sounded hollow to her own ears.

"What? Not Landra's son? Her scream woke me up, so I barred the door. Did you see their shields and emblems? They are Howe's men! That traitorous, snaking bastard!" Kai watched as her mother clenched and unclenched her fists. "I never trusted or liked that man!"

"He has betrayed Father! He attacks while our troops are gone with Fergus to Ostagar!" Kai slapped the flat of her hand against the wood of the door hard enough to make her palm sting.

"You don't think Howe's men were delayed, do you? That sodding misbegotten son of a syphilitic whore!" Kai stared at her mother and could feel a giggle threatening to tickle up from her throat despite the circumstances. She had never heard her mother use such language. "I will cut his lying throat myself!"

Eleanor paced the room only to stop suddenly and turn to Kai, "Have you seen your father? He never came to bed!"

What little mirth had been bubbling up died as quickly as it started, and she felt cold, "Maybe he stayed up with Howe."

"We must find him!" Her mother gripped her arm so tightly, Kai was sure she would have bruises.

She put her hand over her mother's and gave it a gentle squeeze as she nodded, "Get Wicked Grace, Mother."

Kai watched Eleanor walk to the wall of the bedroom where her heartwood bow hung. The dark purple wood of the bow curved in elegant lines and was deadly accurate. It had been a gift from King Maric and Queen Rowan for her mother's part in the Rebellion. It had been made especially for Eleanor and named after its graceful shape and its wicked use. Father had also joked that it was named after the card game, as the bow held runes forged by the mages to up the ante by giving a master archer like her mother the ability to shoot from extremely long distances with greater accuracy and less fatigue. Not only was it a deadly weapon, but it was an elegant piece of art. Kai had considered it a special treat to be allowed to touch it as a child. To run her fingers (clean of course) along the inlaid spirals and Celtic knotwork of rowan wood. The two cabochon emeralds at either end of the bow had been chosen to match her mother's eyes, according to her father.

Kai thought the weapon was the perfect embodiment of her beautiful, graceful and very formidable mother. She waited until her mother had grabbed a quiver full of arrows and opened the chests in the room and taken out more pouches with money and a pack to put them in. She handed her own coin purse over to be put in the pack which her mother handed back to Kai, and she strapped it on.

Kai grasped the handle to the door and looked back at her mother. A thought hit her with the physical force of a fist to the stomach...Oren and Oriana. "Mother we need to check on Oriana and Oren as well." She tried to keep her voice calm, but her heart was squeezing painfully in her chest, and her breath didn't want to leave her lungs.

"Andraste's mercy! What if they went into your brother's room first? Oh, please no! We need to gather them before we head downstairs." Eleanor's face paled.

Kai nodded, opened the door and gave Argus the hand signal to follow. She checked the hallway, scanning it for any soldiers. Seeing none, she signaled the all clear and stepped out to make her way towards Fergus' and Oriana's room. She could hear a repetitive muffled booming sound.

Kai stopped at the doorway, her mind not wanting to admit to what it saw. Oh, her mind was painting a memory just as it had earlier, but this one was of a nightmare. Kai felt the rough grain of the doorway biting into the palm of her hand. Her vision swam into gray and then came back into horrifyingly clear focus.

There was one dead Howe soldier lying on the ground, a small, sharp, wicked little dagger sticking out from his eye socket. The dagger Kai had given her sister-in-law and taught her how to use, so long ago. A lifetime ago.

Oriana had gotten her licks in trying to defend her son. From the positions of the bodies, she had been trying to shield Oren. They lay together, Oriana's arms across his little unmoving chest. The blood pooled beneath them, so damn much blood! Maker's breath, Highever castle was turning into a lake of it.

This time when the nausea welled up she couldn't stop it, and Kai turned to the outside of the door and retched. When she turned back it was to see her mother on her knees stroking her grandson's black hair, "No! Not my little Oren, what manner of fiend slaughters innocents?"

Her mother's green eyes bore into Kai's, "Why would they do this?"

Kai felt tears welling up, but she swallowed them down and buried them. "Don't look, Mother!"

"Oh, I will do more than look! Howe's not even taking hostages! Poor Fergus! I am going to slit that pustule-encrusted prick from navel to nose!" Eleanor rose and pushed past Kai only to stop and stand staring in the direction of Kai's bedroom.

Kai turned and followed her mother's gaze, seeing that she had left the door open and Dairren lying on his back, face turned away from them, his arm outstretched, the arrow sticking from his chest like some morbid flag.

Her mother looked at her, grasping her arm in a gesture of comfort. Then both Kai and her mother had the same thought at the same time, "Landra!" They made their way to the closed door leading to the guestroom hallway. Kai opened it a crack and saw at least three men, two archers and one shield warrior. She took a closer look and finally saw what she sought, a man cloaked in shadow, a rogue. Two could play at that game.

Kai told her mother, giving Eleanor time to back up to the farthest end of the hallway and ready Wicked Grace, nocking her first missile. Argus was ready with hand signals for his instructions – shield warrior, then archers, kill them all.

She nodded to her mother once and swung the door wide open. Kai stayed behind the wall waiting for the rogue she knew would be sneaking into the room to kill her mother and stop the arrows from flying at his fellow warriors. Argus had the shield warrior pinned to the ground; the sickening sound of metal armor being crunched between the muscled jaws of a Mabari along with the man's screams could be heard through the open doorway. Two arrows flew by in rapid succession as Eleanor used Wicked Grace, which allowed her mother a more rapid aim.

Kai was beginning to worry that the rogue was focusing on the dog ravaging the warrior rather than her mother, figuring that Eleanor couldn't see him and didn't know of his presence. But she saw him finally emerge making his way slowly through the portal towards Eleanor, who stood firing off more arrows.

She let the rogue get ahead of her before she snuck up behind him. Unfortunately, he must have heard something or felt something behind him because he spun around to face her. They circled around, each testing the other with swings and parries before battling in earnest.

He tried distracting her with a feint to her eyes, followed by a sneaky upward slice meant to catch her under the ribs. Kai ducked the blow to her eyes and blocked the swipe towards her abdomen, feeling the man's blade part the leather vambrace rending the skin of her forearm beneath it. She could feel blood trickling down into her fingerless gloves and around her clenched hand making the dagger handle slick and hard to hold.

Kai decided to use her own blood to her advantage and splattered it into the man's eyes. Kai took his moment of hesitation to throw her dagger into the man's throat, before executing a spinning kick which hit the dagger hilt and shoved it into his spine as the force propelled him backwards.

She went first to her mother to make sure one of the archers hadn't hurt her. It looked as though their bows didn't shoot as far or as accurately as Wicked Grace, if the arrows littering the room haphazardly were any indication.

Argus padded up to Kai, his muzzle covered in blood and his tongue lolling out in a big doggy grin. He sported a shallow cut along one shoulder and one on his right flank where arrows had grazed him.

Since no one was hurt seriously, they went around the room collecting arrows that weren't too bent or broken as well as Kai's dagger which she had to exert some effort to extricate it from the dead man's neck. She put her foot into his chest and it finally slid free with a crunching sound. She noticed the man had a coin purse on him, and she set about taking it from him along with any items that might sell or be useful and which fit into the pack.

Kai walked to the second hallway to do the same with the other bodies there. The shield warrior's armor was deeply dented as if someone had taken a blacksmith's hammer and pounded the armor into his ribs. The metal vambraces were perforated and so bloody she almost couldn't tell they were once silver in color. He looked like he had been run over by a heard of Ceffyls.

His cuirass was so damaged she couldn't loosen it to see if he had any coin purse on him, so she moved on to the archers, handing her mother their arrows. Kai put a foot into their bows breaking them. Best not to let some of Howe's other men find the weapons and use them against her.

She looked into Lady Landra's room only to see her dead love's fragile mother lying in a pool of blood. Andraste's flaming sword! This was becoming a common sight. Kai could only think that now the poor woman's suffering was finally at an end. She doubted that Landra would have survived long after finding out her son was dead. Dead, dead, dead...Dairren is dead, started to echo through her mind. It was her mother's voice that snapped her out of it, "Dear Landra, I'm so sorry!"

Eleanor turned a tear stained face to Kai's, "If she hadn't come to me, if she hadn't been here..." Kai hugged her mother, trying to offer comfort when all she felt was numb.

"Come, Mamae, we need to find Father." She gave her mother another tight squeeze and waited while Eleanor brushed tears away, nodding. Again, Kai checked outside for rogues or soldiers as she opened the door that lead to the open air corridor.

Kai stopped them again at the junction between the corridor leading to their living quarters and to atrium. Seeing that it was clear, she motioned her mother and Argus forward. They had almost reached the bottom of the ramp leading past the atrium when one of their servants came running up. His blond hair was slick with sweat, and his face a mask of fear. He carried one of Nan's big kitchen knives. Kai recognized him as one of the stewards, his name was Cluny, if she was remembering correctly. "They're storming the castle gates, I'm getting out of here!" His voice was panicked, and he started to turn to run.

Kai grabbed him by the arm, "Think, man! If you come across Howe's men, they will kill you! Stay with us. We can protect you and get you to the servant's entrance." Cluny looked at her hand, seeing she was covered in blood. "Cluny, they killed Lady Landra and Ser Dairren. They cut down my sister-in-law and my...my nephew. They won't give a tinker's damn about a steward. I couldn't save them, let me try and save you!" Kai pleaded with him.

The panicked look in Cluny's eyes left, and he put his hand over hers and smiled, "I am sorry, my lady, forgive my frenzied state. I will stay and fight by your side. I am your liege man, not the other way around. Lay on, my lady Cousland."

Kai smiled and took off her pack and handed the man a dagger to go with his kitchen knife. Kai had good reason to know that Nan's knives were kept sharp. Since they weren't near the kitchens, Kai figured Cluny must have grabbed it in the dining hall while cleaning it up after supper.

Cluny nodded and started to walk down the ramp ahead of her. He turned the corner and yelled, "They're coming!" Kai had only a second to pull the steward back in the corridor as an arrow flew past and ricocheted off the stone wall where Cluny had stood. "Thank you, my lady." He gave her a rueful grin. She smiled and gave him a pat on his shoulder.

She nodded to her mother and then ran around the corner right at a very surprised shield warrior who made some inarticulate gargling noise as she ran up and past the man. She tucked herself into a rolling tumble throwing her two daggers at the archers, hitting them in the middle of their chests. She noted their rather surprised looks. She came up to her feet to spin and grab the daggers from the prone archers, "Thanks for holding those for me, gentlemen."

The shield warrior was down, and Argus and Cluny were already working on a group at the other end of the corridor in front of the dining hall. That intersection was blocked by flaming debris. In the light of the fire, Kai could see Highever soldiers fighting Howe's men. She ran forward and joined the fray, only to find the dining hall was filled with fighting men as well.

When it was all said and done, Howe's men all lay dead, and they had lost only one Highever knight. Her mother approached her, "That pounding noise, they must be trying to break through the gates. And Howe's men must be everywhere."

"I wonder if Father locked himself in his study?" Kai looked at her mother's face, shining with a fine sheen of sweat and bearing a dark smudge across her forehead.

"If not there, then the front gates." Eleanor looked in the direction of the Great Hall.

"What if he isn't in either place?" Kai swallowed hard after saying this. Her stomach felt as if it had ice in it. The alternative was something she didn't want to think about.

"Listen, darling, we haven't much time. You must escape. If Fergus or you...if Fergus or you die, the entire Cousland line dies with you. If Howe's men are inside, they must already control the castle. We must use the servant's entrance in the larder," her mother's eyebrow cocked at this in their code Do you hear me?.

Kai nodded, but grumbled under breath, "I want Howe dead!"

"Then survive and visit vengeance upon him." Eleanor gripped Kai's arm, giving her what she and Fergus referred to as The Look. It brooked no argument. Kai smiled and nodded again, giving her mother's hand a squeeze.

She looked at the soldiers awaiting orders, "Go and help at the front gates." They all nodded save one, who lingered.

"Your ladyship, my lady, I prefer to stay and guard you." Kai just nodded and motioned the man to follow her. They all turned back to the library. Kai wanted to see if Bryce had locked himself in his study. They entered the library, and there lay Aldous. He had been hit over the head with such force that Kai could see...she turned from the sight, she didn't want to think about that.

She heard her mother talking to his body as she looked to see that the study door was open,
"Aldous, you will be avenged, old sage, I swear it!"

"Father isn't here, Mother, he must be at the gates as you surmised." Maker please let him be at the gates! Kai took one last look at her old tutor. She had a moment to be grateful that the two young squires were in Highever at home, safe in their beds. At least she hoped they would be and that Howe wasn't planning on turning his army on the town too. She pushed that frightening thought away.

She took one look around her family's beloved library to make sure none of Howe's men were hiding in the stacks before she gently tugged her mother's shoulder. They all filed out of the library. Kai threw one last look over her shoulder at Aldous's prone form before starting down the ramp towards the Great Hall and the front gates.

Her mother stopped her halfway down the ramp, "We are getting near the family treasury, Kai. The Cousland family blade lies inside as does your father's shield. They mustn't fall into enemy hands. Use the sword to sever Howe's treacherous head from his traitorous body, my darling. We have time to get it." Kai felt her mother rummage in the pack on Kai's back before proffering a black wrought iron key.

"I will give it to Father along with his shield when we find him." She tried to pitch her voice more confidently than she felt. Kai gave her mother a smile and took the key; it felt heavy and cold. They all turned and made their way to the treasury. The guards whom she had told to go back to their game of cards earlier in the day were dead, defending the inner chamber. It looked as though Howe's men had tried one of their hand held battering rams on the thick oaken door but had given up. She put the key into the lock and turned it.

The air in the treasury was still, the big booming sounds of the siege on the gates muffled. Kai's grandfather Malcolm had been a man ahead of his time. He had put mage lights in the treasury. A simple waving of one's hand over the rune set in the wall by the door lit up the same kind of mage light that lit the interiors of carriages.

Kai waved her own fingers over the rune which glowed faintly so it could be seen in the dark and the room lit up. There were more stacks of books, some written by her own relatives, Malcolm in particular, about the rebellion. Diaries, journals, rare and beloved books handed down from generation to generation of Couslands were here along with the most important papers, including a copy of her father's report on his meeting with Empress Celene on Cailan's behalf, birth certificates, marriage certificates and the like. The treasury also housed the family's special armor and weapons. Fergus had taken Uncle Iain's sword and shield. Father's was still here, along with his dragonbone plate mail armor named "Cousland's Valor" and imbued with runes like her mother's bow. The armor was Bryce's gift from King Maric and Queen Rowan for his service to Ferelden and them during the Rebellion.

Kai ran a finger along it. She directed Cluny and the guard to grab the armor while she grabbed one of the two Cousland Family swords. Her father had inherited the one sword as the eldest of two brothers from ancestors past. When Grandfather Malcolm had two sons who were shield warriors, he had a duplicate sword made for Uncle Iain, who had sacrificed himself as the younger brother in the battle at White River, a stunning loss for the rebellion.

Kai cradled the original sword with reverence. She would help her father don his armor and strap on this sword, and they as a family would get to Ostagar, find Fergus and tell the King. Howe would be brought to justice. End of story.

She strapped on the sheath with the sword across her back and the shield she carried strapped to her arm. Though she would never use it, it was just easier to carry that way. Or so she thought. They were ambushed by two Mabari, two archers and a shield warrior on their way out of the treasury. The shield kept the Mabari from getting her throat as she raised it just in time and the dog found itself scrabbling for purchase on the shield's slick surface until her mother dropped it with an arrow in the eye. The second Mabari was taken care of by Argus and her mother. Once the two war hounds were out of the way, the fight was almost anti-climatic.

The next fight was not so much; it had a mage in it. They had finally, Andraste's frilly knickers, made it to the Great Hall, only to find Ser Gilmore and the Highever Castle knights fighting Howe's men who were trying to open the gates to the army that was supposedly delayed. The booming noise was even louder here. Kai found herself engaging the mage. Kai cut off the hand holding the woman's staff only to find frost still snaking along her armor as the other hand still held the spell. The mage's head came next. Kai learned her lesson well, if not a little late, as the skin on her hand had cracked with the cold.

The room was utter chaos. What seemed to take hours took in reality only a few moments. Kai looked around at the dead bodies littering the hall. She turned when she heard Ser Gilmore talking to the Highever soldiers, "Go man the gates. Keep those bastards out as long as you can." She watched him turn toward her and her mother, "Your ladyship! My lady! You're both alive. I was certain Howe's men had gotten through."

Kai grasped his arm; it was apparent her father was not here after all. "Have you seen my father, Gilly?"

"He was looking for you two. He told me to hold the gates as long as possible. If you've another way out of the castle, use it. And use it quickly!"

Kai looked at her childhood friend. She had lost her love, her sister-in-law, her nephew. She didn't want to lose anyone else she loved, she didn't think her heart could take it. "Come with us!"

"If I do that, you won't make it out before the gates fall." He looked at her mother, "Please, go. When last I saw the teyrn, he was badly wounded and headed towards the servant's entrance. I begged him not to go, but he was determined to find you."

Ser Gilmore started to turn away from them and go to the gates. Kai grabbed his arm and spun him back to face her, "No, you must come with us!"

He simply looked at her with a funny little pained smile on his lips, his sea green eyes sparkling with something she could not read. "Please, go. My lady, Kaidana, Kai..." Ser Gilmore grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest over his heart, entwining their fingers. She could feel the mad beat of his heart. He cupped her face with his other hand, then wound it in her hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her face to his as his lips covered hers. Almost before she could comprehend that his kiss had told her he was in love with her, he had spun her around and given her a gentle, yet firm, nudge on the shoulder towards the door leading out towards the kitchens.

Kai was too stunned to do anything but walk obediently towards the door. Her mother gave Ser Gilmore a sad smile, "Bless you, Ser Gilmore. Maker watch over you."

She felt herself flinch at his response, "Maker watch over us all." Kai turned at the door to see Ser Gilmore, Silly Gilly, running and putting his back to the door of the Great Hall, bracing himself with leg muscles tensed. Fighting to hold back Howe's men to save her.

Another memory painted in her mind. What kind of collage will I have? she wondered before she turned and walked out of the door leaving Gilly behind.