Chapter Six:
Artemis sighed as he slid into the driver's seat of his Jaguar. Aspen had been eating pie as he watched the prodigy examine every inch of space in Councilwoman Ortega's house. Artemis had found nothing. Aspen had found he liked Ortega's homemade apple pie. It was sweet and delicious. Artemis had been appalled that the boy could eat so calmly sitting in the same room as a dead body.
"Can we get some more pie?" asked Aspen as he slid into the passenger seat of Artemis' car. Artemis had been suspicious of Aspen at first. After all, the murderer could just as well have been a ghost as the murderer could've been a human or a fairy. But then, Aspen was too…
"If Batman got in a fight with Superman, who do you think would win?"
"I don't know."
"If Superman screwed Lois, would he kill her?"
"What? I wouldn't know."
"Which do you like better? Pretzels or potato chips? They're both so boring."
"Um…potato chips?"
"Yeah, you could do a lot with potato chips. Sour cream and onion, barbeque, salt and vinegar, Heinz Ketchup…"
"I'm trying to focus here, Aspen."
"Yeah, okay. I can tell you're really smart. You know how? You don't talk like a lot of kids. They talk like this. 'And I was totally at the mall yesterday when this totally hot guy, like, totally looked in my direction and I was like 'Yo.' And he said, 'Yo.' It was totally awesome!' Insert giggles. But you're like, 'Elementary, my dear Watson. Pure elementary and all that.' Which is cool. And I don't know any normal kids who would be investigating a crime scene. You could pass for one of the Hardy Boys, you know? And then you don't dress like a normal kid, you know? Why do you wear suits?"
"I. Like. Suits."
"You sound stressed. You sound like my brother, Quill. He doesn't like it when I ask too many questions. But you're nicer, you know? At least you don't turn up your Mp3 when I'm talking to you. But then you don't have one. What type of music do you listen to?"
"Classical and occasionally rock."
"Rock?"
"Sometimes, rock songs actually have meaning behind them. Like…'Pieces' or…"
"You listen to rock?"
"Yes."
"Wow! That's so cool! You know, you're really cool. You're super smart and stuff…"
"How old are you, Aspen?"
"Nine."
That's when Artemis tuned Aspen out. The ride back to Fowl Manor was very stressful for the young genius. Aspen kept asking all kinds of ridiculous questions. Questions that wouldn't seem out of place coming from Myles and Beckett, regrettably. Artemis had gone through yoga exercises, A to Z and by the time they rolled up the driveway of Fowl Manor, Artemis was near ready to strangle Aspen.
"Aspen! Please! Couldn't you ask more…mature questions?"
"Um…okay. Are you rich?" asked Aspen.
"You could say that," said Artemis as he cut the engine.
"Where did you get all your money from?"
"Er…if Green Lantern had to fight the Flash, who do you think would win?"
"Green Lantern, duh! What kind of super power is super speed? It's so stupid."
