In all honesty... I can't tell you what was going through my mind when I wrote this. I remember I needed to put another 'Voice' thing in.. But I think the emotion thing that you'll understand later came from a friend of mine in a conversation unrelated to the story... I wrote this... Last summer. So... Ya. After the voice comes in again, the rest is just... there. I write my stories usually around two in the morning because I can't sleep a lot. So I don't know what was going through my mind at two in the morning. Who really does?

Enjoy.

"MAXY! AMELIA! LET'S GO!"

"Get your knickers out of a twist Doctor we're almost ready!"

Amy yelled from beside me. She looked at me pleading.

"Come on Max. You look fine."

"I just don't understand what was wrong with the shorts I had. I'm not going swimming so why should I have to wear this?"

I gestured to the TARDIS blue and black poka-dotted bikini Amy had forced me to wear.

"Because it looks cute on you. Now come on."

She handed me a black cover up dress and I took it, putting it on. Taking the towel from the shelf behind me and walked out of the wardrobe, pulling my hair back into a braid. The Doctor and Rory were in the console room, the Doctor in his TARDIS blue shorts and a black t-shirt. Rory had on a plaid brown and yellow pair with a white t-shirt. I sighed and pulled the braid over my left shoulder, taking the bag from the chair. In the bag I had three books, my Ipod with headphones, the Doctor's screwdriver, and sunscreen. Plus money for later if we decide to eat there. The Doctor came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"I did say we could go somewhere else Love."

"I know, but they really seemed to want to go. And so did you. It's fine, really."

He pouted at me and I kissed him to make him smile. He beamed at me then turned to the other two with one of his arms still wrapped around my waist.

"Ready to go?"

He called out and they nodded in agreement.

"Alright out those doors, is California beach, 2014 June 14."

Amy and Rory raced out the doors and out into the sand with the two of us following slowly behind them. The Doctor looked at me rather sadly and I sighed.

"Doctor I said its fine, now please let it go. Go and have fun with the them. I'll be fine."

"It's not exactly fair."

"Yes it is. You guys want to have some fun. It's fine."

He bit the inside of his cheek and frowned.

"We could go somewhere? You and I. Let the them have their fun-"

"That's not fair to you Love."

"How?"

"You want to relax, and enjoy a day with the world not coming to an end. You're not going to waste a perfectly fine day on me."

"There is never a day that can be wasted when you spend it with the one you care for."

I smiled and kissed him softly, just pulling back enough to speak.

"Go."

"I think I've found somewhere more comfortable."

I smirked at him then pulled back even more. His shoulders slumped

"You promise you'll be fine?"

"Yes, now go before you lose them."

He lifted me off the ground and spun me, knowing it would make me laugh, pulling me closer to him. He kissed my forehead, then my nose, and lingered longer on my lips. Amy started yelling for the Doctor to hurry. He growled a little in frustration.

"She always seems to know."

He whispered slightly which made me giggle I gave him a quick kiss before I twisted out of his grip and pushed him forward.

"Go."

He smiled and gave me a wink. Running off after the Amy and Rory. After an a few hours the Doctor and the them came to relax a little on the beach side next to me. They were all a little burned from forgetting sunblock. I giggled a little as the Doctor slumped down in the chair I gave him. He wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me into his lap as the other two took the lounge chair next to us.

"So, where are we eating Doctor?"

Amy's skin was almost as red as her hair.

"Wherever you'd like. You and Rory decided there's a map over there. Pick something."

I looked at the Doctor, he seemed tired. That wasn't right. He's never tired. I put my hand on his forehead then to his cheeks. His eyes closing and he leaned into my touch, he hummed a little. His head as little hot, but if it was from the sunburns or not I couldn't tell.

"Are you feeling okay sweetie?"

I asked softly as Rory and Amy discussed the place around us.

"Just a bit tired is all. I'm fine."

"Doc I've known you for ten months now. You're never tired. What's wrong?"

He chuckled lightly.

"Us Time Lords get tired too you know?"

I gave him a stern look and he pulled my head towards his, where are foreheads were touching. His thumb rubbed back and forth on the back of my neck.

"Dear I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I have to worry about you. If I don't who will?"

He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. I got off him, as he shoot up and clapped his hands together.

"Alright gang. I know the perfect place!"

He pulled his shirt on over his head and the bow tie soon followed. I just shook my head and smiled. He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the street.

"Finest place around. Italian restaurant. The best food anyone can ask for. You know the-"

The Doctor's voice slowly got farther and farther away. It confused me as to why that was when he was right next to me. I felt a pounding start in my head, and I had only felt it once before. I tightened my hold on the Doctor's hand and he turned to me quickly. His hands shoot to the side of my face, but I couldn't feel him. My hands shoot to his and I squeezed them. I couldn't feel him. His mouth was moving, but there were no words. Not a sound escaped his lips. As a matter of fact, there was no sound at all. Only silence

Doctor, I can't hear you. I can't feel you. The pain in my head. The voice it's coming back.

I was talking in my head. Trying to speak, but words only formed in my head. His eyes widened and I knew he had heard me. Somehow he heard me. He had to have.

Makayla listen to me. It's all going to be fine alright? It's going to be ok. Just follow me Love, Please.

He was running towards the TARDIS pulling me along with him. The pounding was becoming too much. With each hit more black dots filled my vision.

Doctor!

He threw the doors open, rushing towards the sickbay. He lifted me on to the table and I cried out. Shutting my eyes so the tears wouldn't escape as the pounding got louder and worse in my head. My hands pressed to the side of my head.

The man with green eyes who travels through time...

No! Not again! Doctor the voice, it's back!

I felt arms wrap around me and I felt his bow tie, rough against my forehead. I reached for him and his hands found mine. He threw them around him and placed his arms back around me. I felt his finger slowly guided through my hair and the pain began to subside.

He's the love of your life, and one day…

Then it hit full force. I remembered sitting on the bench in the park crying. Watching a women with big blonde hair, looking at me, with all the pity in the world. And for once, for the first time, I didn't care. Then just as quick as it was there, she was gone and I was left feeling empty and in the dark.

I was awake, I felt that I was on a mattress. It wasn't my bed, but I didn't really care. I knew I was crying and I didn't even try to stop it. I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them. I was crying silently when I felt the bed dip behind me. I didn't react to it. Nor when I felt strong arms wrap around me and pull me to their chest. I knew it was the Doctor and that only made me cry harder. Something was going to happen. Something horrible between the two of us. I have never seen so much pity in someone's eyes before. I'm going to lose him. I know I am. The look she gave me, whoever she was, I was going to lose the man who gave me everything. The man that gave me a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to smile, a reason to try, the reason to give life a second chance. I was trying to stop myself from crying and it just made me shake harder.

"Makayla," The Doctor's voice was soft, so very soft and comforting. Everything in me cringed, I'm going to lose him. I won't have his voice. The voice that had put hope back in my heart. That made me feel safe and happy. "Stop it. Stop holding it in. Please. For me, let it go. "

And just like that I did. I broke and I began to sob. I was shaking from head to toe and I turned around I grabbed the Doctor and pulled him to me. I had a tight grip on him. He tightened his grip on me, I kept pulling on him to the point where I was basically on top of him. He was lying on his back, rubbing circles on my back, as I cried like a baby. He didn't tell me to shush or whisper it's ok. Because he knew it wasn't. He's come to know me, all the little things about me. Just as I know about Gallifrey, and the family he's lost there, I know secrets about him that no one has never known, I know the things he did, the reason he holds so much regret in his eyes, I know it all. And I loved him after. If not it made it more powerful the way he trusted me. He's never trusted anyone with all that information. No one has ever put that must faith and trust in me before. And I was going to lose it.

"Doctor don't ever leave me. Promise me you won't leave. Please promise me."

My voice was just a whisper. It was all I could manage. He lifted my head up and looked me in the eye.

"I swear I will never leave you. I swear on to anything, everything."

I looked at him for a while and without thinking I kissed him. He was a little taken back, but he accepted. He kissed back, I just needed him and he knew it. He read me like an open book. He always did that. I felt his bow tie brush against the skin of my neck and I pulled away from him to stare at it. I smiled at it, rubbing the rough fabric between my fingertips. The Doctor's hand came up to the side of my face, moving a strand of my hair behind my ear. I leaned into the touch. How many times will I feel this again? How many times will I be able to look into those amazing eyes? The eyes that I've grown to love so very much. I looked back up at him and crashed my lips into his, he accepted automatically and I tugged on the bow tie getting rid of it. He grabbed my shoulders pushing me back slightly. His lips brushing mine as he spoke.

"What is it? What did you hear?"

"Doctor," I sighed against his lips. "can we not do this now?"

He smirked and rubbed his thumb back and forth against my cheek.

"It has to be now, because whatever it is it's making you act like this."

"Like what?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Maxy,"

His voice was warning me.

"You know what I mean. I told you about this. Makayla tell me."

I looked into his eyes and I saw he was serious. His eyes were getting dark and pulling back. I wasn't going to tell him.

"Why do you do that? Call me Max, or Maximum, or Maxy and then you switch to my real name."

"Because they are you. They are all you."

"And why can't I know your name?"

"Because it's a secret."

"Really? After everything that's what you tell me?"

"It's the truth and stop changing the subject!"

I laugh and kiss him gently.

"How about we make a deal, hmm?"

He smiled and twisted a strand of my hair around his finger.

"I like deals."

"You tell me the real reason as to why I can't know your name and I'll tell you what the voice said."

He tilted his head side to side and bite his bottom lip. Debating, I smiled, he looked adorable. I grabbed his chin to steady his head and made him look up at me. I couldn't resist as I kissed him again. He gasp in surprise and on instinct I bite his bottom lip. I felt him smile as I let go of his lip, he pulled me closer to him and I ran my hands through his hair. Gripping on to it as I pulled his head closer to me. The Doctor deepened the kiss and kept one arm wrapped around my waist while the other tangled itself in my hair. Then he pulled back quickly, pushing me off him gently before he jumped up of the bed and started pacing the room. He ran his hands through his already tangled hair and his face was flushed. He chewed on his lip and then with a glance at me he stopped. He threw his hands in the air growling, literally growling, and rubbed his face. He was angry with me, I didn't listen. I knew I wasn't acting like myself, I couldn't control myself. It felt like someone else was controlling me and I knew as soon as my mind cleared I was going to hate myself for doing this to him, to myself. But the thought of never seeing him again, it got to me. He was still pacing and breathing hard. He was clenching and unclenching his fist. He would look at me and he would glare and then he would turn away.

"Makayla we talked about this. You swore," He took a deep breath and ran up to the bed. Leaning down to where our faces were just inches from each other. "You swore, no wait, you made me swear. You can't just," He ran his hand up his face and through his hair, clutching the ends of it and pulling back. "Just tell me WHAT YOU HEARD!"

I didn't jump back when he yelled. I knew he would and I wanted him too. I felt horrible.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just the voice it came, but there was also.. Doctor there was a woman this time. I've seen her before, I've heard these words before. I just... I can't remember. Why can't I remember? The way she looked at me, what I felt, I.. I.."

I was breathing hard and blinking rapidly. The signs of a panic attack coming. The Doctor's anger faded and was replaced with concern. He sat on the bed and put a hand on my cheek. But I shook my head and back away on the bed to where I was on the opposite side. He moved closer, but I stood up.

"No. Stay put, please. Don't I can't, I'm not myself when you touch me. So stay there."

He looked conflicted, twitching a little, moving between trying to get up and staying put.

"What did she say? The women, what was it?"

"The man with green eyes who travels through time,"

I paused. I looked at him then to the ground. Why was I embarrassed? Ten months we've been together. We've said we loved each other. Then I sighed aloud. No we haven't. We've danced around it, never truly saying it. The Doctor noticed this and came up to me. I backed away, putting space between us. I hated doing that to him, but I didn't trust myself.

"Makayla?"

"Doctor."

He sighed and stepped in front of me. He placed his hands on my shoulder.

"What is it Love? What's wrong?"

"Ten months."

He froze then nodded.

"Yes. It's been ten months. What is it?"

My stomach twisted a little and it felt like it was being knotted.

"Doctor... Do you.. Do you," I sighed "You care about me right?"

"Of course. Of course Dear. Did she say I didn't, If she did, I can swear to you its a lie-"

"No it's just something that came to mind. Forget it."

"Makayla. What is it?"

"It's just.. ten months and.. and we haven't said.. and she said.. Doctor she said 'The man with green eyes who travels through time, He is the love of your life and one day..' Then there I was the day before I meet you, I forgot about it. Until now. I forgot, but she was there and I can't remember it all, but I remember the way she looked at me. Doctor she had so much.. so much pity. And I didn't care. I didn't care and I was crying. I was crying in front of a complete stranger. The way she looked at me. I thought.. it felt like I was going to lose you. I was never going to see you again and, and"

He kissed me hard and then it soon grew light. He pulled away and started into my eyes.

"I'm here and I'm never letting you go. You won't lose me. I won't let that happen. Never."

I nodded and closed my eyes. I stepped away from him and walked towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, ya?"

I opened the door just to have it slam back. The Doctor's arm right next to my head and his other hand came to rest on my hip. Pulling me back to him. He kissed the back of my neck and I shivered. I tensed up, he was teasing me.

"Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"

I sighed and felt his lips move into a smile.

"Doctor you know why I'm leaving."

I whispered slowly as his hand raised further up trailing under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my side. He tightened his hold on me and pulled me closer. Kissing my neck once more, rising up towards my check. If I turned around he would kiss my lips and I had to fight myself not to. I had played with him, now he was playing with me. He felt my breath hitch and he stopped. Realizing what he was doing he pulled away from me. I stay there trying to breath as I heard his bed groan in protest of his weight. He didn't use it much.

"Marriage."

I froze, my hand resting on the door handle.

"What?"

"That's the only time I can tell anyone my name. It's the only time it's safe. When I'm about to be married."

I put my head down. and rested it against the door. So I'll never know his name. I smirked, anger. I'm in the anger faze. If I stayed here I would lash out. It's the side effect I have from the nightmares I have. If he was smart he would stay here. But what caused them the memories? I guess now they counted as well. I threw the door open then slammed it as hard as I could. My door was right across from his, but I wasn't sleeping. I screamed in frustration as I walked in the control room. Rory looked at me surprised.

"Max. Are you-"

"SHUT IT RORY!"

He stared at me then clamped his mouth shut. Amy walked up the staircase and looked at me. She opened her mouth, but with a glare I silenced her. They all know not to mess with me when I'm like this.

"Max, just because you're angry doesn't mean you can take it out on them. Now you can either calm down," The Doctor came into the room with a glare on his face. When he realized I wasn't stopping he shouted "Or you can go to your room AND STAY THERE UNTIL I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH YOU! Can you do that!? Just that one simple thing?! Or would you like to patronize them as well?! After all you seem to enjoy doing so!"

I barked out a laugh and spun on my heal. He was so much better at hiding the side affects. When my nightmares came we found that they came with a little surprise. I would tease and then either go into a depression state or I would get really anger. The Doctor had used his sonic to see exactly what was going on and he said that the nightmares would cause my emotions to go out of balance. He tried to block it and it went wrong. He ended up feeling them too. It was my fault, I let his guard down. At that thought I felt more anger.

"I don't remember asking for your permission DOCTOR! How about you just go back to Earth and find another Rose! I'm sure you'll be much happier! She'll do whatever the bloody hell you want!"

"Stop-"

"Just shut up ok!? For once in your bloody life just shut it! I don't want to hear anything from you! Nothing alright?! You aren't clever, and this," I gestured around me "this isn't helping! That, what just happened, what I just said forget it! Forget it all! There's no point! You've known it the whole bloody time, haven't you?! HAVEN'T YOU!?"

I was close to tears and I was shaking. He took a step forward, but I backed away.

"That's why you haven't said it! You know it's going to happen! You've always known!" I was crying now. Rory and Amy were stunted. I have never cried in front of them. Never. The Doctor is the only one who has seen me cry. "You don't care! You're just like them, you've always been like them! I was just too stupid to see it! I didn't want to see it! You played me, you used me, and I bloody let you!" I turned away from them and went towards the opposite door "If you have an bloody respect towards me, You'll leave me alone."

I walked through the door and slammed it shut. Walking down the long hallway to the last door. I opened it and closed it softly. I placed my back on the door and sunk to the ground. I was crying and I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them. It all made sense now. He hasn't it said because he knows I'm just a pass by. I'm nothing more than someone to pass the time with, because we all leave in the end. I slammed my back into the door. Stop it! Stop thinking about it. I looked up at the room. It was dark, I couldn't see anything. So I crawled away from the door. When I felt I was far enough I pulled myself into a ball and began to cry even harder. He doesn't love me. How could I have possibly thought that he could? With who he is, what he is, and everything I know. How Could I have thought that I was different? I'm pathetic. She said that he was the love of my life. Not that I was the love of his. It was getting harder and harder to breath. And the crying got worse and worse and I felt all my emotions leaving until all I felt was emptiness. I was rocking slightly, trying to stop myself from crying. The door opened and closed quickly. Someone stumbled through the dark and dropped beside me. They pulled me into their lap and they started rocking with me. They kept pulling me closer to their chest and rubbing my arms.

"What's wrong with me?"

I choked out and the rocking stopped and so did the rubbing and pulling. The Doctor froze on the spot.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

His voice had cracked and it sent another waves of tears to me. He was crying, had been crying.

"I'm going to lose you. The way she looked at me. The way I acted. I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you. I need you. I don't care that you can't grow old. I don't care that you're a time lord and I'm a human. You've told me of the things you've done, of the time war and how it ended. How you ended it. And I'm still here. I don't care about any of it. It doesn't matter, because for once I'm happy. What I said about being here not helping. It is, you're making it better. It's amazing here. And I don't want to leave you, you're making life better. You're giving me a reason to be me to be okay again. To wake up and want to be here. And I don't care what life does, they can't separate you from me, because I love you."

My breath hitched and I stopped myself. I said it. I waited for him to pushed me off and start yelling. To look at me with disgust or laugh at how stupid humans could be, but what he did next surprised me. We crashed together and the Doctor pulled me closer to him once more. He deepened the kiss and took me off his lap to set me on the floor in front of him. He pressed down pushing me down till my head rested on the floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I felt his arms slide under my waist I twisted us around to where I was on to of him. His arms tightening around me before he broke the kiss. He was twisting my hair around on his fingers before trying to place them behind my ear, just for them to fall back.

"I've wanted to tell you for a long time now. I just, I didn't know how you would react. I thought if I told you, you'd pull away from me. And I didn't know if I could handle that. I wanted to wait to make sure you were ok with it, that you wouldn't freak out. If I had know that you felt the same way, that you were thinking that I didn't, I would have."

He kissed me again, it was slowly and sweet and gently. Like he was afraid that when it stopped I would be gone and if he pressed too hard I would break.

"I love you. I love you more than anything. You've given me a reason to protect the Earth, to wonder the galaxies again, you given me the reason to love it all and then some. There's so much I can say, but I, you, time, and I-"

I kissed him again

"Don't hurt yourself Sweetie."

He smirked before kissing me again. The door swung open then and the red head let out a yelp in surprise before closing the door again.

"Remind me to put her on a leash."

He whispered and I giggled.

"You're so adorable."

I had his hands pulling him up with me. Slapping his arm when he was up right blushing a little.

"Shut it you."

"Make me."

"I just might."

I winked at him and made my way towards the door. Going out into the hallway and back to the control room. When I arrived Rory and Amy we're basically on me. Hugging me, asking if I was okay. I laughed and untangled myself from them.

"I'm fine guys. It's just when that sort of thing happens, my emotions just kinda jumble together and I can't quite stop it. It's alright."

"What exactly happened? The Doctor wasn't very cooperative while you were out."

"Well you see, there's just this headache that come every so often and it affects me at full force."

I didn't want them to worry about anything so a little white lie is fine right?

The Doctor came strolling in then. He walked behind me, trailing his finger over my lower back and I suppressed a shiver. He gave me another smirk behind Rory and Amy and winked. The two turned around and glared at the Doctor. Amy held her hands on her hips and Rory crossed him arms. The Doctor looked between the two of them and sighed.

"What is it now?"

"You yelled at her."

"Yes I did Rory. Good observation."

The Doctor glanced at me and continued on around the console.

"But we made up. Don't believe me ask Amy. She knows."

Amy face went a little red and she looked down.

"Ya well you made up with her, but not with me. You don't just do that. She was under a lot of stress and you-"

"Had every right to act that way."

Rory glared at me

"No. No he didn't. He had zero right to yell at you like that!"

"Rory I pushed him to the point-"

"You couldn't control your rage!"

The Doctor laughed but tried to stop himself. When Rory shifted his glare to him he straightened up.

"What? It's just, you think it's because, ha! No I can handle the range. The rage is easiest affect to handle."

"Then why were you yelling at her!"

The Doctor opened his mouth, but shut it quickly. My face flushed a light pink which Amy caught and she snorted a little. Which cause both the Doctor and I to go a deeper shade of red. Rory looked at all of us his anger and frustration showing on his face.

"What!? What is it? What's your excuse did I miss something?!"

"No, no you're right. It's the rage. Definitely the rage."

Rory stared at us and Amy yawned dramatically.

"Alright. Time for bed."

She grabbed his hand and pulled out of the room and to thiers. When we heard the door shut we looked at each other. The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, but shut it. I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I'll just.. be going."

"I'll come in later... If you want that is."

I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"I'd like that."

He smiled and I walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his middle and gave a slight squeeze. His hands came on either side of my face and he titled it up and kissed me. When he pulled away he kissed my forehead,

"I love you Makayla."

"I love you too Doctor."

Again... I... I don't know. But It's part of the story, and I didn't really want to change it that much.

Um pretty soon we'll have an episode chapter.

So look froward to that. I've had a bit of advice given to me. And I have a bit of it that are along the lines of what was told. The next episode chapters will defiantly follow that advice. 'Cause it was good.

But I've got to tend to sore muscles. Two hours of soccer after leadership training, big mistake.

-Maxy