Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
I've been flowing for the ocean
I'm tripping all over myself
Falling, falling down now
I adore you, but you're leaving me a mess.
I confess, I caught you caring
Got you sharing, sharing like the rest.
It's such a fine line situation
I've got patience.
-"Barefoot Friend", Elephant Revival
Mean Girls turned out to be a pretty decent movie that I ended up enjoying, much to my surprise. I mentioned that to Alice, who grinned at me triumphantly. "I knew you'd like it," she said in an assured voice as she flipped through some fashion catalogue. We were in her room, where we had retreated after the movie. She was lounging on the bed, dressed in silky purple pajamas, which I envied. They looked so soft.
I snorted. "Look at you, Miss I-Can-See-The-Future!" She stiffened, but I barely noticed, continuing in my joking tone. "Use that to predict the end of horse races or whatever people bet on, and you'll be set for life." I heaved myself to my feet, picking up my backpack. "I'm just gonna change."
I glanced up at her, and frowned to see her frozen, staring off at nothing. "Alice?"
When she didn't respond I moved closer, crouching down next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. I could feel her coldness radiating from her. "Hey, Ali, everything okay?"
She seemed to snap back to herself, and her golden eyes met mine, and she flashed me a smile. "Sorry, Kate, I just zoned out. Happens occasionally!"
I nodded dubiously, but yawned loudly. "It's okay. Guess we're just tired. I'll be right back."
By the time I got back from the bathroom, Alice had shut off all of the lights except for her bedside light. She was on one side of her bed, making a show of putting her magazines away. I put my bag down and climbed onto the other side of the bed, getting under the covers. The feel of fresh, clean sheets hit my skin, and I snuggled into them happily. Alice turned off the light, leaving the room bathed in the soft glow of the moon.
I could feel tiredness creep through me, but I turned on my side to face Alice. "I really love your family. It was so great to be able to meet them all."
I could hear her smile in her words. "They loved you!" she assured me. "Trust me, Esme will be harassing us to bring you back here all the time."
I laughed at that. "I would actually love that. She's such an amazing person. You guys are so lucky to have a mother like that."
Silence stretched before us for a moment, and I felt slightly embarrassed that the wistfulness in my voice was so obvious. "Good night, Alice," I said, hoping to deter any questions.
"Good night, Kate. Don't forget about our day of shopping tomorrow!" Her light teasing tone made me laugh slightly before I snuggled into my pillow more, my eyes closing shut as the darkness took me.
Restlessness seized me, and I opened my eyes. It was still incredibly dark out. The moon had shifted position. I heaved myself up on my arm to peer at the clock, seeing that it was almost three in the morning. I glanced down at Alice, who was sound asleep, breathing evenly.
I laid back down, but I was wide awake, despite my body aching from tiredness. I sighed quietly and slipped out of bed, heading for the bathroom.
After I came out of the bathroom, I was more awake than ever, making me sigh in frustration a bit. You'd think with that huge hike I would sleep like the dead, I thought bitterly.
A soft footstep sounded behind me, and I jumped out of my skin, turning to see Jasper behind me, a book in my hand. "Dude," I breathed out, grabbing at my heart dramatically. "You scared the living daylights out of me!"
"I'm sorry," Jasper said, a warm smile breaking out across his face. "I'll be sure to walk louder and announce my presence."
"That'd be great," I said. His smile was infectious, and I felt myself warming. "Can't sleep?" I asked, nodding at the book in his hand. I could see that it was some sort of history book.
"No, I can't," Jasper admitted. "What about you?"
"I feel more awake than should be allowed at three in the morning," I groused, folding my arms across my oversized t-shirt.
He laughed at that, and I ducked my head at the sound. "I was just about to sit downstairs and read. You're welcome to join me, if you wish."
"Sure!" I followed him downstairs, the house silent around us. In the living room, Jasper tossed me a quilt, which I wrapped around me as I leaned into the couch. Jasper sat down a respectable distance away from me, relaxing back and putting his feet up.
"You know, Alice has never had a friend sleep over before," Jasper mentioned, his brow creased over his eyes. "None of us have, actually."
I frowned at that. "Why is that? Alice seems to make friends easily. Well, she made friends with me easily."
He chuckled at that, his brilliant golden eyes holding mine. "Well," he said, choosing his words carefully. "Most people seem to be wary of us."
I felt at a loss for words, especially with the undercurrent to his tone, one that I couldn't detect the emotion behind. Bitterness, perhaps? "That's stupid," I said, scowling at the thought. "Honestly, your family is incredible. I was just saying this to Alice earlier, but I was so happy to be able to meet your parents. And Emmett, I guess. Think that was the first time I've talked to him," I added after a second of thought.
"Carlisle and Esme adore you," Jasper said, half of his face lifting up into a smile. "Emmett really liked you too. Don't worry about Rosalie. She'll come around."
"No, it's okay," I said immediately. "I mean, we don't know each other yet, so it's totally fine." I dropped my head onto the back of the couch. "I've been in Forks for only a couple of weeks. There's still plenty of time to get to know you guys."
I glanced over to him. He looked deep in thought, his blonde curls tumbling down over his pale face. My fingers itched to push them back. I immediately banished the thought, and instead cast around to change the subject. "I noticed that you have a bit of a Southern accent," I said, recalling an old question I'd been meaning to ask him. "Did you and Rosalie live down south before here?"
He pursed his lips, as if debating the answer. "We grew up in Texas for a time," he said slowly. "Rosalie never retained the accent, but for me it's as easy as breathing." His mouth twisted at that, as if bitterly recalling a joke.
Getting the sense that he didn't really want to talk about his past, I changed the subject again. "Well, at least I don't have too much of a Maine accent," I said. "Just on certain words. Though if I have to hear Nick or Mike say 'pahk the cah in Hahvard yahd' one more time I'll deck them."
Jasper let out a rich laugh at that, and for a moment I thought I heard booming laughter from upstairs. I squinted suspiciously at the stairs but shrugged it off.
"How long have you lived in Maine?" Jasper asked me.
"My whole life," I said. "I grew up in southern Maine, and I pretty much spent my whole childhood outdoors." I grinned, far away in memories. "My brother and his best friend, Derek, taught me everything. Anything I need to know about camping, hiking, swimming..."
I trailed off, remembering the crazy summer adventures we would have. Jasper was quiet, and I looked up at him only to see him staring at me, a warm, fond smile on his face, his golden eyes glowing. I flushed at the intensity of his gaze, but beamed at him. I was growing incredibly fond of Jasper, and I wished desperately to be his friend.
"Can I ask you something?" he said quietly.
"Of course," I said immediately.
He hesitated again, and shifted to fully face me on the couch. "What happened to your parents, Kate?"
I felt my smile fade, and I tore my gaze away from his face, staring past him. He's an orphan, I thought. He and Rosalie and the rest of his siblings are orphans. If anyone could ever understand, it's the Cullen family.
"My mom died giving birth to me," I said softly. "From what my brother Tony tells me, she was the most incredible woman. He tells me I look a lot like her." I paused for a second. "I guess my dad just couldn't handle her death. I know he's always been an alcoholic, but when I was younger he would make an effort to hide it. You know, only drinking after I went to bed, never leaving bottles out, that stuff. But once I hit second or third grade, he stopped bothering to hide it."
I stopped again, collecting my thoughts. I felt a soothing calm and peace flow gently across me, and it gave me courage to continue on. "Tony was away all the time for college so that could be why Dad stopped trying, now that I think about it. But eventually Dad's drinking got so bad that Tony called Social Services on him."
I still remembered that night in vivid clarity. Tony had been so pale the entire time, his hands shaking as he held me, as if he was on the verge of tears. Our father had refused to look at either of us.
"That was when I was eleven. I've lived with Tony ever since. He was only twenty-four when he took me in, sharing an apartment with Derek. We got a little house after that, with the help of my aunt Rachel. Ever since then, Dad's been in and out of rehab." Despite the feeling of calm, I still felt nervous telling Jasper all of this, so I quickly hurried on. "But things have been so great living with Tony. We get along so well, so it's not bad at all. It's way better, actually." I shut my mouth before I could ramble on and embarrass myself.
Jasper's hand radiated ice as he covered the hand with the brace, wrapping his fingers around mine. "It's alright, darling," he said gently. "I'm happy that you're living with your brother now."
I felt at peace the moment I finally met his golden eyes. I beamed at him. "Me, too."
We sat in silence for a moment. His hand was so cold, but it was comforting to me. I could never handle the heat. I hated hot summer days, instead preferring when the sun went down and the night cooled, or the deep of winter where the temperature would plummet below freezing. Jasper reminded me of those calm nights, and it brought me comfort.
"Are you going shopping with me and Alice tomorrow?" I asked, a yawn escaping me.
"Of course," he replied. "I'm the one that's going to hold your bags."
I laughed. "Alice's bags, maybe. I'm only gonna get a couple of things. But tell you what. If she goes crazy tomorrow, I'll help you lug the bags around."
He flashed a dazzling smile at me. "But what kind of gentlemen would I be if I let the lady carry bags like that?"
I snorted. "I'm not much of a lady, and you'd still be a gentleman because you'd be respecting my wish to help."
Jasper laughed, and I decided that I would be perfectly happy listening to him laugh for the rest of my life. "I'll have to concede to your logic," he said.
Another yawn escaped me, and I felt my eyes beginning to droop. "Perhaps you should go back to bed," Jasper said gently, noticing this. I nodded and squeezed his fingers. His fingers were hard and cold, reminding me of marble. I chalked it off to sheer exhaustion as I stood up, releasing his hand.
"Goodnight, Jasper," I said gently, smiling at him. "Thanks for letting me stay up and talk to you."
"Of course." His smile made my heart skip a beat. "Sweet dreams, darling. I'll see you tomorrow."
Back upstairs, Alice seemed to have not moved an inch. I slid back into bed with her, noticing that it was now almost four in the morning. I squeezed my eyes shut, and was lulled to sleep by Alice's gentle breathing and the quiet of the house around me.
"How about this one?" Alice asked excitedly, bouncing towards me through the aisles of clothing with a horrid pink and white shirt with lace and ruffles. I stared at the monstrosity, my hands clenching on the off-white simple blouse I had been inspecting.
"Alice, if you make me try that on I will run into the forest and never return," I said seriously, looking her in the eye.
From somewhere behind me, Emmett roared with laughter. I glanced over my shoulder to see Emmett holding Rosalie's coat, standing near a rack of fancy ripped jeans. Rosalie herself was staring with distaste at the shirt Alice held. Her honey eyes shifted to mine, with much less animosity than she had previously held. She gave me a slight grimace, which I took to mean she agreed with my opinion.
Alice pouted at me, her golden eyes pleading. "It's not that bad," she wheedled.
"I won't wear that blue and white eyelet you lent me to school tomorrow. Instead, I'll find the rattiest t-shirts and wear them instead," I threatened, pursing my lips to hide laughter.
Alice rolled her eyes dramatically. "Fine," she huffed, and gracefully pivoted on her heel to flounce off to a different rack.
Jasper was leaning against a wall near me. He had been tense the entire time we'd been at the mall, and I got the feeling he really didn't like crowds. "She doesn't actually like that shirt," he informed me, amused. "She just wanted to see your reaction."
I scowled at the pixie girl, sticking my tongue out at her turned back.
It was almost noon the next day, and we had been shopping for nearly an hour. I had no idea where we were going to go shopping, but Alice took us to a decently sized town that was a couple hours away from Forks. This town housed an enormous mall packed with shops, which we were currently in. The mall wasn't too crowded today, which was a relief for me. I had been dreading the thought of Alice dragging me to Seattle or something. The thought of a large amount of people in one place terrified me.
Emmett and Rosalie had taken their own car, while Alice, Jasper, and I rode in the other one. Edward apparently had plans, so he didn't come. Jasper drove while I sprawled out in the backseat, sleeping the entire time. I had still been exhausted from the night before, but I didn't regret staying up late to talk to Jasper.
With a slight sigh I turned away from the shirt and instead walked towards a different rack of clothes. Clothes shopping had always been tedious for me, and I usually made due until I absolutely needed something. Mentally, I recounted the money Tony had given me. It was fifty dollars, which was pretty generous for him, considering we weren't exceedingly well off. I had been expecting around twenty. Ten bucks for lunch, ten bucks for a present for Tony, thirty bucks for spending money, I recalculated in my mind.
I ventured towards the men's section, but before I could reach it, I stopped short. In front of me was a red and white baseball t-shirt, made of soft cotton. It was identical to my old one, which I had worn to literal rags until Tony finally threw it away. Excitedly, I grabbed it off the rack and checked the price, heartened that it was within my range.
Alice suddenly appeared my elbow, and I jumped. "Geez, where did you come from?!"
"You're not seriously going to spend your money on that?" Alice asked, staring at it with muted horror. "There's so many clothes that are cuter!"
"Yeah, but they aren't my style," I pointed out. "I love these kinds of t-shirts, and nothing you say will change my mind."
Alice seemed to accept that, but leaned forward, her eyes beseeching. "Please, please let me dress you up? Pretty please? I found the perfect dress for prom!"
"Prom?" I blinked. I hadn't really considered the dance at the end of the year. I usually avoided school dances, except when I had been dating Jim. He and I had been friends for a while before we started dating, but our relationship only lasted for four months before we decided that we were better off as friends. The couple school dances that we went to, we ended up skiving out early and crashing a Denny's.
"Yes, prom. You'll be wearing the most beautiful dress, and you'll look incredible!" Alice's tone was incredibly sure, and I found myself half-believing her.
"If I try on this dress, can we go get food afterwards?" I pleaded.
Alice blinked, and I wondered if she forgot that lunch was a thing. "Sure! Now let's go try on that dress!" Her icy hand grabbed me and she tugged me forward with incredible strength towards the back of the store that I had avoided.
In no time at all, I found myself in the dressing room, staring at myself in the mirror. The dress that Alice picked out was beautiful. It was dark blue with silver lines running up and down the dress and swirling in patterns that dazzled my eyes. It had one strap over my right shoulder, and had subtle ruffles over the bodice and towards the hem. My hair was up in a messy bun, and I slowly reached up to undo it, letting my hair fall over my shoulders.
"I could go to prom in this," I muttered, actually impressed with Alice's choice. After dressing so casually for a long time, it was jarring to see myself in a dress like this.
"If you don't come out here and show us, I'm coming in there!" Alice threatened from outside the dressing room.
"Coming, coming," I called back. I clumsily picked up the dress so I wouldn't trip and fall, and left the room.
The Cullens and Hales were gathered around, waiting for me to emerge, which immediately made me uncomfortable being the center of attention from them. I felt almost inferior next to them, but Alice let out a loud squeal that made me flinch. Emmett let out a whistle and I mock-glared at him. Rosalie had the slightest glimmer of a smile that vanished into impassiveness when I looked at her.
Jasper was standing slightly apart from his siblings. When I looked at him, I flushed instantly at his wide-eyed, awed stare. His eyes seemed to be darker than usual, and they burned into me. I tore myself away from his gaze, my heart beating faster as I forced myself to concentrate on Alice. "So, I assume that this is my dress?"
"Yes, that is your dress!" Alice said, beaming at me and bouncing on the balls of her feet.
"Great!" I paused. "Well, I'm going to change. Can we get food now? I'm starving."
"Of course!" Alice called as I retreated back into the dressing room, trying to get Jasper's eyes out of my vision.
I shook my head, glancing at myself in the mirror again. "My dress," I muttered under my breath as I undressed and pulled my jeans and shirt back on, throwing my hair back up into a messy bun. Picking up the dress, I checked the price tag and immediately winced. "Just kidding. Not my dress." I huffed. "Screw these overpriced clothing stores."
I left the dressing room to see only Alice and Rosalie standing there. Rosalie was scowling, staring at the entrance to the store, while Alice was spacing out. I glanced around, but I didn't see Emmett or Jasper anywhere. Shrugging it off, I started to put the dress back on the rack.
Rosalie's eyes flashed to me. "I thought you were getting the dress?" she asked in cool indifference, but I was starting to understand her better to realize that a lot of the cold front she put up was an act.
"It's a bit out of my range right now, but now I'll know what to look for when I do go shopping for prom dresses!" I told her, keeping my voice upbeat. "Where did the boys go?"
Alice blinked, and crashed down to earth. "Jasper was getting a little cramped at being in crowds, so Emmett took him to the car. They're going to go relax for a bit, while we grab lunch!"
"Alright. Give me a second." I turned to go back through the store, intent on grabbing that baseball t-shirt. Back in Maine, when I started living with Tony, there were five other boys in the neighborhood and one girl. We had formed a baseball team that had no boundaries, and our games would sprawl over streets, front yards and backyards, the forest behind my house, inside houses a couple times (their parents flipped shit, Tony never found out), and once on top of a roof. I had worn my baseball t-shirt to every game, and although I doubted I'd find anyone to play baseball with me again, it reminded me too strongly of home to not get it.
I grabbed the t-shirt and went to check out. Alice was waiting near the front, but Rosalie was nowhere in sight. I went through checkout quickly and joined Alice, just as Rosalie came over to meet us, two new bags in her arms.
We grabbed lunch at some burger joint, which I was happy about. Burgers and pizza were my favorite foods. Even so, it didn't take me long to notice that Rosalie didn't get any food, and Alice really wasn't eating any of the fries she bought.
"Are you guys okay?" I asked eventually, my burger mostly gone as were most of my fries.
Rosalie's eyes flashed to me before she looked away. "I'm not particularly fond of the food here," she said in a bored tone. "I'll eat when I get home."
"I'm just not hungry," Alice chimed in, smiling at me. "I ate on the way here."
"Okay," I said simply. I don't remember Alice eating anything, but then again I was sleeping for most of the ride.
We hit more shops after lunch. I found a mug that said 'the mountains are calling and I must go', which I immediately bought for Tony. In addition to the baseball t-shirt, I also grabbed a silver bracelet with a mountain charm and a tree charm. Alice had been over the moon at that purchase. "You can keep adding to it!" she had exclaimed, helping me put it on.
Although it was only early afternoon, I was starting to feel really worn out and slightly stressed at the crowds that we had to sift through. I think Alice and Rosalie knew, so they mostly steered us towards shops that were nearly empty. I couldn't help but notice that Jasper and Emmett still hadn't joined us, and I asked about it a couple times, but Alice deflected my questions easily. It still didn't stop me from worrying slightly.
We had just finished up at a perfume and lotion store (where I had bought a lavender and vanilla scent that Alice found for me) when Alice, to my relief, announced that she was finished and whether or not we wanted to go home. Her arms were laden with bags, and despite me telling her I was more than happy to help she wouldn't let me carry any of them.
It had been cloudy all day, but as we walked into the parking lot, the sky had darkened to a stormy black and grey. I wondered if it would rain. To my great relief, Jasper and Emmett were waiting by the cars. Emmett was casually tossing around a baseball, while Jasper was leaning against his car, his hands shoved in his pockets. At the sight of him, leaning there and watching us approach, I already felt a sense of calm and serenity, my exhaustion and anxiety at being in large crowds momentarily chased away.
His golden eyes were more muted. They were darker in color, but as I walked up to him he let out a breathtaking smile that made my heart pound. "Get everything you wanted, darling?"
"For the most part. I found this." I held up the bracelet for his inspection.
"Beautiful," he praised, but his eyes flickered back to me and I blushed.
I shifted my gaze away, and my eyes landed on the baseball in Emmett's hand. I brightened. "Hey, do you play?"
"We all do," Emmett said, a grin appearing. "Oh, man, don't tell me you're a fan of baseball?"
"Baseball is my shit," I said earnestly.
Emmett doubled over, roaring with laughter, while Rosalie raised an eyebrow, her lips pursed to keep a smile from escaping. Alice rolled her eyes good-naturedly, and Jasper was laughing, tilting his head back for a moment before he looked down at me.
"I'm not kidding," I protested. "I used to play with neighborhood kids all through middle school!"
Emmett looped an arm around the front of my shoulders that reminded me of a young tree trunk, shaking me gently. "We're keeping this one," he told his siblings, grinning.
I laughed, grasping at his arm. "Am I going to be adopted into your clan, then?"
He tussled my hair with his free hand, and I whined slightly, ducking out of his grasp. Alice grabbed me and opened up the back door to her car, making me sit down while she started braiding my hair with deft fingers.
"Y'all ready to go?" Jasper asked Rosalie and Emmett, who nodded.
"There," Alice said proudly. I reached up and touched my hair, surprised to find it in an elegant french braid.
"Damn," I said, running a hand down it.
"Don't touch it," she scolded, pushing me inside the car. "You'll ruin it. Let's get you home, now!"
During the car ride back, I once again sprawled out in the backseat. I could see the back of Jasper's head, and part of his face as he concentrated on the road in front of us as he drove. I idly turned over the events of the past couple days in my mind.
Jasper was incredibly sweet. He could be intimidating, but every time I was around him I couldn't help but feel like I was on top of the world. He's also really handsome, I thought idly, eyeing the way his curls framed his face.
I closed my eyes and shifted my face into the seat. I didn't need to think about Jasper that way. I always maintained the philosophy that I could be happy with a boyfriend, but I didn't need one to make me happy. In all honesty, I would much prefer to be Jasper's friend at the moment, and get to know him better. I felt like I didn't know him at all, and I hoped that he would open to me the more I spent time with him.
I managed to nap a bit on the drive back. Night was starting to fall as we pulled in the Cullen's driveway, and I sent a quick text to Tony to tell him I'd be home soon.
Esme and Carlisle were waiting for us inside. "How was your shopping trip?" Esme asked, smiling widely at us.
I showed her my bracelet and let her smell my perfume, amazed at how she actually took the time to listen and care, even though she just met me yesterday. I hope the Cullens know how lucky they are to have Esme, I thought idly as I retrieved my backpack and purchases.
Esme enveloped me in a hug, and I struck with how cold her body is. Do they all have poor circulation? I thought, frowning slightly, but shrugged the thought off. "Here, dear," she said, shoving huge Tupperware dishes into my hands. My eyes widened at the sight of the lasagna she made last night. "For you and your brother!"
"Are you sure you guys don't want any of this?" I asked. "There's quite a lot!"
"Oh, no." She smiled gently at me. "Enjoy!"
I said goodbye and walked outside to my car, where Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie were waiting. I put my backpack and bags in Fabio, and turned around to see Rosalie standing beside me, holding the two bags she bought at the clothing store.
"Here," she said, handing them out to me. I took them slowly, and peered inside the first one. My jaw dropped when I recognized the shimmery blue of the prom dress I tried on, neatly wrapped. My head snapped up to look at her, but she didn't meet my eyes.
"Rosalie, this is-"
"You're welcome," she interrupted, tossing her beautiful blonde hair over her shoulder, still not looking at me directly. "The other one is something I thought you liked." With that, she turned on her heel and flounced into the house.
I stood there staring after her for a second, but Alice blocked my vision, grabbing the bags and putting them in the car. "Just accept them," she told me. "It's easier for everyone." She darted forward and grabbed me in a hug, which I immediately returned.
"I had so much fun," I told her. "I guess I'll just see you both at school tomorrow!" I looked between her and Jasper.
"Of course! Don't forget to wear that shirt I lent you!" Alice grinned.
I rolled my eyes. "Of course not."
Jasper's stare was level on mine, and almost intense. His golden eyes were still darker than usual, and I wondered at that. "See you then, darling," he said lowly.
Even as I was driving away, I still couldn't shake the feeling of his eyes on mine.
A/N
I'm back! For this chapter, at least. College is kicking the crap out of me. I have to write an entire novel this semester (which I'm currently procrastinating on), so I have no idea when I'll be able to get the next chapter out.
Thank you so much for the reviews and support! I'm so glad that you all love Kate. I'm doing my best to make as realistic a person as possible. There was lots of fluff in this chapter, but next chapter will be a time skip! It's time to continue on with the Twilight story! Also, I realize that I'm being incredibly vague about a number of things, but I promise that once Kate finds out the big secret, more and more things will be revealed.
Please review!
