A/N: Had originally planned on doing a 'battle of wits and excuses', but did an about face and wrote this one instead. That's why this chapter is delayed for one day. Read A/N at the end for more info.

Without further ado, I present you with: Chapter Seven! Read & review, people :)

Disclaimer: *sigh*

·


·

·||·

Explanations and Excuses

·||·

·

Chapter 7: Of Feelings

·

The past two weeks had just been a royal pain-in-the-back-end for Shepard.

First of all, he agreed to commit robbery with Kasumi. No matter that Hock had acquired the graybox through... dubious means. Whatever he did could be solidly classified as grand larceny.

Next, he had to accompany Jacob to Aeia. Needless to say, what Ronald did there left a really bad taste in his mouth. The personal email he received from Leslie did reduce that taste somewhat, plus an additional appreciation for Cerberus who 'supported' the Alliance's rescue mission.

Right after that, Grunt started having 'coming of age pains'. To prevent grievous harm to the Normandy, Shepard had ordered an urgent visit to Tuchanka, where he had gallantly — and, upon hindsight, quite stupidly/recklessly — stepped up to be Grunt's krantt. And faced a Thresher Maw. Never mind that he and his team had reduced the beast to steak-sized meat (which, he was sure, will be gracing the food tables of the Urdnot clan for weeks), facing that monster brought up memories of Akuze. And of The Illusive Man's explanations.

Then, they had juuust entered the Normandy when EDI told them that Zaeed was very near to attempting to hijack the vessel and bring it to Zorya, claiming that the 'target' of his active contract will leave soon and this would be the best chance to finish it up. Only later did Shepard found out that this was not just any contract, but Zaeed's personal vendetta against Vido.

But the cherry on top was Zaeed's irresponsible action of putting the lives of innocents in the line of harm. Back in the Normandy, Shepard had delivered a piece of his mind (via his fists) to Zaeed.

So, no one can blame him for sulking when he entered the Communications Room to talk with The Illusive Man.

·

=====·

·

"Having a bad day, Shepard?" The Illusive Man asked, always impeccably polite.

Shepard huffed. "You can say that again. Do you have to hire the craziest people in the galaxy? First, Jack, now, Zaeed."

"You did say you need the best."

Shepard sighed. "Yeah, I did, didn't I?"

"Well, anyways Shepard, thank you for saving the lives of the workers at Zorya," said The Illusive Man, raising a glass of bourbon in his right hand. "No need to give more 'evidences' for the Alliance to brand us as 'terrorist organization'."

"Um, okay. You're welcome. I guess," Shepard replied. He's not really sure if he's happy to 'sing the praise of Cerberus', but then again he just can't bring himself to sacrifice innocents.

"I see you also helped Ms. Goto in acquiring her partner's graybox," said The Illusive Man. "Did you destroy that graybox, or did you let her keep it?"

Shepard was perplexed. "Destroying it? Why should I?"

"Because there *is* some information there that might be *very* incriminating for the Alliance," the Cerberus leader explained, putting down his glass on a table nearby. "Had the graybox fallen into the hands of the Shadow Broker, the consequences will be very severe."

Shepard scoffed, "And you think Cerberus would be the better steward, I guess. Well, I won't be giving it to you. I don't think I want to hand you something with which to blackmail the Alliance."

"Oh, I don't need that graybox, Shepard," The Illusive Man replied calmly, lighting up a cigarette. "I already know what's in it. We have our informants, you know.

"All I'm saying is that you — and Ms. Goto — must guard that box really carefully. And when she's done with her grieving, perhaps you can ask her to show those... evidences I said earlier. Would be a great eye-opener for you Shepard. See for yourself what the Alliance are capable of doing."

Shepard made a mental note to actually do that. Despite him still mistrusting Cerberus somewhat, what The Illusive Man had said to him intrigued him greatly.

"We are also in the process of repatriating the Hugo Gernsback survivors. Some of them require intensive neuro-reconstruction. We managed to apply some nanotechniques we learnt during the Lazarus Project, and all are progressing well."

Shepar perked up. "Thanks. That's good news I guess. Although I did find it quite... unexpected that the Alliance had a truce with Cerberus regarding them."

"Like I had said in one of our earlier conversations, Shepard: The Alliance *used* Cerberus whenever they see fit. Of course the credits all will go to the Alliance," The Illusive Man replied bitterly, dragging deep on his cigarette. "I can see it plastered on their propaganda channels: 'The Cavalry has arrived!' If it was not for *our* reconnaissance team, they would never even find the position of the Hugo Gernsback. Not that the Alliance should have abandoned the Hugo Gernsback in the first place. "

Shepard nodded. "Speaking of which, why did you reprimand Miranda, then? After all, it's for the good of everyone for the Hugo Gernsback to be found."

The Illusive Man puffed a copious amount of smoke as he considered his reply. "I was still weighing if it would not be better if *our* own team handled the issue. Further, I wished to spare Officer Taylor from what might be found."

"You mean, you already knew what happened there?" Shepard stared at the Cerberus Leader incredulously.

"Partially, yes. We visited the crash site to determine that it is indeed the long-lost Hugo Gernsback. We also copied the logs, and were considering the proper course of action when you arrived and 'invited' the Alliance to come."

"I see. And what plans have you come up for the deranged crew? Make them into weapons?"

The Illusive Man ignored Shepard's derision. "If Cerberus saved them *and* returned them to their families, there will be forever indebted to us. They have proved their resilience, and would make good recruits."

Shepard smirked. "You mean, manipulating them to be your lackeys."

"You got it wrong there, Shepard," The Illusive Man calmly tapped his cigarette onto an ashtray. "They are free to join, or not. Even if they won't join, having sympathizers will be a great boost for Cerberus."

"You expect me to believe they will voluntarily join Cerberus?"

The Illusive Man just shrugged. "For an answer to that question, go talk to Officer Taylor *and* Mess Sergeant Gardner. You'll be surprised."

Shepard made another mental note to talk to the two men. "Alright. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. For now. What happened to Ronald Taylor?"

"Apparently he committed suicide, and then his corpse was impaled on a pole. I wouldn't tell Officer Taylor about the latter part, if I were you. Grisly sight. Let the man focus on your mission."

"I see," Shepard concurred. "I do wish you didn't go too hard on Miranda."

"Don't worry about that, Shepard. Officer Lawson accepted her reprimanding. She's a grown-up woman, after all. She had a... past history with Jacob. Don't let your feelings for her cloud the fact that she did indeed violate protocols, and need to be reprimanded. She had given me her words that similar transgressions would not happen again."

"Miranda was involved with Jacob?" somehow Shepard felt slight pang of... jealousy? Naah... why should I be jealous? I don't love her... okay, I cared for her but... am I falling in love with her?

"They are over, Shepard. No need be jealous of him," said The Illusive Man, again showing off his uncanny ability of reading people. "I do have to remind you that although I have *no* qualms of any relation you have with Officer Lawson, do not let your feelings for her affect your mission negatively. If anything, make it one of your motivations to do this mission well — and come back from it alive. The both of you."

"I am not in any relationship..." Shepard let his voice trail off. No relationship? What about all those emotions I felt when I'm near her? Being happy and warm inside whenever she flashed a genuine smile... for me?

"You may want to have a heart-to-heart talk with Ms. Tali'Zorah, though. Yeoman Chambers told me she's... infatuated with you. Talk to her gently. As to how, I do not know. Ask Yeoman Chambers, she's the psychologist, not me."

Shepard started to feel uncomfortable. Yes, he *had* his... experiences with women before. But not like this. Totally not like this. Not wanting to keep treading down that queasiness-inducing path, he changed the subject. "Oh, I'd also like to thank you for the Kestrel armor."

"You like it, I presume?"

"Yes, it was a great help when I faced the Thresher Maw."

"Ah, your escapades at sunny Tuchanka," The Illusive Man nodded, tapping his cigarette. "The engineers who designed the armor set are still arguing whether the Kestrel is best used as components or as a complete set. Maybe you'd like to give your opinion of the Kestrel to them?"

"That would be nice. Also I'd like to extend a personal thanks for such a great armor."

"You can contact them via Officer Lawson. She's been sending all weapons and armor telemetries to them. They would be happy to see its performance in... unconventional situations, and to hear an opinion of it from one that can use it effectively."

Shepard nodded. "Thanks. Will do." An excuse to talk with Miranda, that would nice... hey, why am I so happy just to have an excuse to talk to her?

"If you don't have anything more to say, then would you excuse me, Shepard? I got a skyball appointment. I'd like to see if I can score my third perfect game," The Illusive Man said nonchalantly while crushing his cigarette.

Shepard was surprised, and rather pleasantly. "You play skyball?"

"Oh yes. Quite well for an amateur, actually. I'm also somewhat well-acquainted with Ms. Brooke Karrigar, the skyball champion. Maybe when the galaxy is safe again, you and I could play together."

Shepard chuckled. "We'll see about that. I got nothing more today. See you later."

"Of course. Cerberus Command out."

As Shepard left the Comm room, he considered his course of action, and decided to visit Gardner.

·


·

A/N: Oh. My. God. I am *so* going to be drawn and quartered by the talimance fans xD … For my defense, let the records show that I *am* a talimancer in-game :P

Now some explanations:
● The Kestrel armor *is* available right from the start, if you get the Digital Deluxe edition. Let's assume that *that* is not the case, for story purposes. Besides, the email from the Illusive Man kind of insinuated that some time had passed between Shepard's starting the missions and receiving the Kestrel armor set.
● I don't have the slightest idea how the ME game of "skyball" is played. Just wanting to put in some references to the dossiers on LoTSB DLC. And TIM is quite a womanizer :P
● About Aeia: It's a garden planet. Thus, very good for colonization. In fact, that's why the Hugo Gersnback was sent there. So, why did the Alliance abandon the Hugo? I still can't wrap that thought around my head.
● If you want some tension between Shep & TIM re: Adm. Kohaku, husk release (ME1), etc… wait for the upcoming chapters, please :)

Okay. Now, read & review, people :D

·