Ty Lee and Yan Zu walked in silence towards Mai's cell. Ty Lee couldn't stand it. She figured she'd let him wallow in his thoughts if he wanted to and wouldn't act too eager in trying to strike up a conversation, but she abandoned that plan in favor of her sanity.
"So, are you really this quiet?" she asked, breaking his train of thought.
"Huh?" he asked a little absent-mindedly. "Oh, no. I'm actually really talkative. I've just been thinking a lot lately, that's all."
"Man, I wish we met before Mai rubbed off too much of herself on you," she said casually as she began skipping to feign indifference. "I suppose you were tons more fun. Not that I'm complaining about Mai. All I'm saying is that one of her is enough for me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" as he lengthened his stride to catch up to her.
"Oh nothing," Ty Lee shrugged. "I guess that I just expected more when I met you. Like I thought you'd have personality and not just the looks."
"Hey," he began to tell her off. "I'll have you know that I'm quite the stud here at the Boiling Rock. I'm actually very charming. Ask the ladies. I've won the title Mr. Hot Rod in the annual show for the past 2 years."
Ty Lee giggled. "I don't know if that's impressive or just sad."
Yan Zu opened his mouth to retaliate but realized that she had a point. He laughed as well, suddenly glad for the distraction from the past day's mental turmoil. "Hey, a title's a title, no matter where you are. If you guys are here long enough, you should join the contest. I think you might actually have a good chance of winning Ms. Smokin'."
"So I take it you think I'm charming," she flashed him her flirtiest smile as a slight blush crept on his cheeks. Before he got the chance to take back what he said, she added, "No need to be embarrassed to admit it. Almost everyone thinks I am."
This got him laughing again until they reached Mai's cell only to find it unoccupied.
"Well, I'm stumped," Ty Lee turned to Yan Zu. "I don't know this place very well, so if you have any other idea where she could be, I'm all ears."
"Well, normally around this time, she and I'd be with the other inmates just hanging around, but the only reason she even bothered to mingle was because I forced her. She wouldn't go with them on her own. Hmm, she could be anywhere at this point. Let's just keep walking."
It took them some time before they found Mai. By the time they spotted her, the two had already become quite comfortable with each other. Ty Lee internally confirmed that she did indeed like this boy and hoped that she succeeded in lessening his desire for her friend. Upon seeing his expression when they finally found Mai, however, Ty Lee's heart fell as it was still evident that he had feelings for the passive teen. They had found her practicing some wall scaling and somersaults.
"Finally!" Yan Zu exclaimed as he rushed towards Mai. "Those are some pretty amazing skills, Mai lady. I've never seen you do all that before. How come you never showed me what you can do?"
Mai jumped down from one of the pillars she had been climbing and landed in front of the couple. She picked up a towel from the floor and wiped her face. She asked them blankly, "How did you find me?"
"We just kept walking," Ty Lee told her. "We were already running out of places to look. Why're you training here by yourself?"
"Just needed some space and something to keep myself from thinking too much," Mai answered simply. "I was just about finished though, so you don't need to leave or anything. Now, where is my shirt?"
Yan Zu blushed and quickly turned his head as he realized that the only thing covering Mai's upper body was her breast bindings. Ty Lee noted this while Mai did not. She was busy looking for her shirt which she found crumpled up in a corner.
"Why were you looking for me?" she said as she slipped her top back on.
"No reason," Yan Zu tried to say coolly.
"We hadn't seen you since breakfast," Ty Lee added. "I just wanted to see what you were doing." As they walked back together, Ty Lee asked, "What did you need to keep your mind off?"
Mai cocked her head as the bubbly girl explained, "You said you were training to keep yourself from thinking too much. Why would you have been thinking too much?"
"Well, you know, quiet people always have more on their mind," Mai lied. "So instead of talking to keep the mental noise down, I decided to train." Ty Lee and Yan Zu exchanged glances, knowing that Mai was still hiding something.
Ty Lee decided to say what they had all been avoiding the entire day. "Mai, you know it's okay to still think about Zuko every once in a while. It might actually help to think about him."
Mai ignored Ty Lee and continued walking.
"I really am worried about you though," Yan Zu joined in as the two followed Mai. "I mean, I'm hurt that you didn't tell me about your boyfriend earlier, but now it's not even about me. I just want you to let out what you're obviously keeping inside."
"There's nothing to let out," Mai said rather stiffly without turning to look at them.
"Come on Mai!" Ty Lee said exasperatedly. "You don't have to act so strong and stubborn all the time. It's okay to feel something every once in a while. I actually thought having Zuko in your life was a good change for you. For once you actually seemed to be happy. You weren't afraid to show people that you were. Now that he left, you seem to be worse than I've ever seen you. I'm not buying your whole 'I'm-fine-and-I've-forgotten-about-him-already' act."
"Mai, you can talk to me, to us," Yan Zu said quietly. "I thought we were friends."
"Well, if we are then you two would know when to respect my privacy and leave me alone," Mai shot back.
"Stop pushing people away!" Ty Lee grabbed Mai's shoulder and forced the taller girl to look at her. Struggling to keep a blank expression, Mai turned around and faced her two friends. "I don't understand how you could've had such a change of heart," Ty Lee continued. "You try to show that you're strong, and that Zuko didn't mess you up, but how you're acting shows the total opposite. It's so obvious that you've changed. It's also obvious that he's the reason for it. Stop hiding Mai!"
Finally, Mai snapped, and her eyes began to fill. "Why can't you just drop it?" she yelled at Ty Lee, fuming. For once, she finally allowed her tears to fall freely. Whether from sadness or from anger, it's unsure, but they were tears nonetheless.
"What do you want from me? You want me to break down and cry in front of you to prove that I'm hurting inside, is that it? There, congratulations. Mission accomplished. Do you want me to pine away for Zuko? Do you want me to act as though my world has crumbled just because he left? Well, I'm not going to do that. I'm better and stronger than that. You want to know why I don't ever let myself think about him? Fine, I'll tell you. It hurts too much to think about him. To remember that he left me. Twice. With no warning. With no second glance. If he can leave me like that, I can forget him just as easily. He isn't worth my time, thoughts or tears. Are you happy now?" She ended her speech yet continued to glare at her friends. No one spoke for a few moments, and the air was filled only with the sound of Mai's broken breathing.
He wanted to hug her more than anything though he knew he'd get a beating for attempting a move like that. Instead, Yan Zu reached out to touch Mai's arm to comfort her, but she quickly jerked it away the moment he came in contact with her. Hurt, he said, "I don't want you to keep locking me– us out. I don't want you to keep building your walls, so that no one can ever seem to get to you. I'm trying really hard to be a friend, Mai. I wish you'd see that and somehow realize that you don't have to be alone or lonely. I wish you'd see that I'm worth your time since I give a lot of mine for you. I'm pretty sure Ty Lee feels the same."
Ty Lee was still irritated at the knifethrower's steely demeanor but had softened up when she heard what Yan Zu said. She did feel the same way for Mai and had hoped that Mai wouldn't make it so hard for them to reach out to her. To their surprise, Mai lowered her head, turned and began to walk away.
"What is your problem Mai?" Ty Lee shouted, her anger returning. "Here we are, doing our best to help you, and you still shut us out. Yan Zu's here opening his heart to you, and you act like you have none."
Mai stopped walking and, without facing them, said softly, "I'm just tired."
"Tired?" Ty Lee asked incredulously. "Just because you're tired of avoiding or listening to us doesn't mean that you have the right to just turn your back and walk away. Literally."
"No, I'm telling you why," Mai explained, her voice cracking slightly as tears continued to drop. "I'm tired. I'm tired of being the one who cares too much. I'm tired of being in a one-sided relationship where I do everything to make it work while he's allowed to bitch and complain and be angsty. I've got enough angst as it is, but with him, I have to put it all aside just to take care of him, of us. I'm tired of knowing that I love him more than he loves me."
Ty Lee's anger melted away as she heard Mai finally open up. "You don't know that," she tried to comfort her heartbroken friend by hugging her from behind. "You may see it from your side, but from what I've seen when you were together, he was just crazy about you. He did weird things because he thought you would like it. It frustrated him to not know how to impress you since you weren't like other girls, but he tried anyway."
"I guess I was stronger than he was," Mai sighed. "Not once before this did I give up on us. Even when I told him we were through on Ember Island, I knew we'd get back together before the night ended. I never left him. He's the one who gave us up."
"I thought you understood that he gave up his personal happiness for what he believed was good for the world and to protect you," Ty Lee reminded her.
"Then why am I the one who's hurt and left behind?" Mai sat down slowly as the emotional release took its toll on her strength. "If he really cared for me as much as I care for him, he wouldn't have left that way. He would have had the courage to at least tell me to my face that he was leaving. He could've even asked me to come along with him. I'm pretty sure I would have."
"He didn't want to put you in any danger," Ty Lee sat down and patted Mai's head as the crying girl laid her head on Ty Lee's shoulder. "Although I agree that the letter was a douche move."
Mai laughed weakly. "It really just hurts too much to think of him. I know I shouldn't be selfish because it's not like he left me for another girl, but it still hurts just the same. I don't know if he's thought of me even once since I helped them escape. I wouldn't admit it, but a part of me actually thought he might come back to save me and let me join his mission with the avatar, but obviously I was just being stupid. I'm just tired of hoping and making excuses for why he isn't with me. It'd just be easier if I let him go, which is exactly what I'm doing."
Yan Zu spoke for the first time since Mai's confession to ask the question that had been burning in his mind the whole day, "You still love him, don't you?"
Mai looked up at the teenage boy who was looking down at her with a strange expression, a mixture of dread and hopefulness. She dried her eyes with her hand before looking up at him again and nodding sadly. "I do, very much, and I'm afraid I might always love him. But that doesn't mean I think we should eventually get back together. If anything, I'd rather not see him again."
"Oh Mai," Ty Lee said as she hugged her best friend tightly. "I'm so glad you finally released your feelings. Although I still hope that you and Zuko might sort things out if and when the world gets fixed, I won't push you anymore. I'll walk you to your cell if you want to lie down and rest."
Mai nodded and gave her friend a hug before standing up to face Yan Zu. He smiled weakly at her as she gave him a hug as well.
"You coming with, Yan Zu?" Ty Lee jumped up.
"No, you guys go ahead," he told them. "I have to finish some chores. I'll do yours for today, Mai. You go and rest. I'll catch up with you in a bit Ty."
Mai smiled at him gratefully, leaned in and gave him an innocent kiss on the corner of his mouth. As Mai moved away, Yan Zu's hand automatically went to where she had kissed him. Ty Lee instantly felt a pang of jealousy but decided to ignore it for the time being.
"Thank you so much, Yan Zu," Mai said as she looked at him through rather damp eyes. "You have no idea how glad I am to have met a friend like you. I'm sorry for the hurt I must've caused you." Before turning around to walk with Ty Lee, she added, "You should know. You're worth much more than just my time."
As he watched them walk away, he heaved a heavy sigh, took his hand away from the corner of his mouth and said to himself, "Enough. Enough now."
