This chapter does contain some direct quotes. If you recognize it, then it probably isn't mine.

Rose POV

After a long day of throwing up and trying to nap, I finally feel a little better. It was such a drastic change that I'm actually feeling a bit adventurous. So adventurous in fact that I not only want to get out of my room, but I also want food. Real unhealthy and greasy and delicious.

I'm so going to regret this.

I leave my room quietly and feeling great. I have some color on my skin, a smile on my face, and a growl in my stomach. It's like I'm finally Rose again.

"Look!" someone exclaims from behind me. "The infamous Rose Hathaway is finally gracing us with her presence!" I roll my eyes at Christian, but I stop and wait for him. I guess I'm just a nice person. "Feeling better?"

I smile back at him. I'm not letting anything get me back down. Nothing. Not even Christian. "I'm great. No, I'm better than great! I'm fantastic!"

He looks at me like I've gone insane. "Who are you and what have you done with Rose Hathaway?" I roll my eyes and laugh. "You're looking normal again."

"I feel normal again." We both bust out laughing and for once it was like old times again. We insulted each other and laughed and it was awesome.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure stalking forward. Excitement starts to crash into my veins.

Finally, my first test.

My first instinct is to get the Moroi out of the way. Luckily I just have fireboy to worry about. I push him behind me as I hold my finger to my lips. "Stay behind me," I warn. "If I say run, you run."

I can see the sense of danger go off inside his head, even though he can't see the threat. He nods in understanding as he starts to search for the danger.

We totally got this.

Stan chooses this moment to strike. He's alone, which is common for this exercise. Most Strigoi work solo, or in small groups of two to four. You'll hardly see anything bigger than that. He charges forward and I tell my body to do something, anything, to block him and keep him away from Christian, but nothing happens.

I don't move.

I don't move an inch.

Instead, my vision starts to cloud, dark spots twirling before my eyes putting on some sort of show. My knees start to go weak as the world starts to spin. Faster and faster and faster. The feeling of disappearing into the empty void creeps over me and I know I'm done. I know I'm going to pass out right there in front of Stan, letting the "Strigoi" get my charge.

In that moment I knew everything was over.

I'd have to come clean.

I'd have to go away. They'd never let me stay.

It was over.

Only, that never happened. My world righted itself just in time to see Stan's arm at the throat of my charge's neck. My eyes go wide at the sight and he releases Christian with an angry expression on his face.

"Hathaway!" he barks. "What the fuck was that?"

Normally when any person of authority swears I'd laugh my ass off, but now wasn't the time or place, and believe it or not, Stan was scaring me. All I could do was stare at Stan's angry face and feel so small.

All my life I wanted to be a Guardian and now… not that is all going to be taken from me. All of it.

I've never been so scared.

Not even when I was diagnosed with cancer.

"If I had been Strigoi," he growls, "he would be dead."

"You're right," I admit softly. Did I really just say that?

He goes into shock. "What did you just say?"

Yep. Okay. I really did say that. "I said you were right. I'm sorry."

He froze. Christian stood there gaping between Stan and me before Stan turns to leave. Fireboy comes over to me asking the words I've grown so tired of hearing. "Are you okay?"

Am I okay? Was I ever really okay?

No.

Not really.

"I'm not hungry anymore," I state almost robotically. I leave and go back to my room right before the world starts spinning again. The dark clouds appear and this time they take me.


Most disciplinary issues at the academy go to Headmistress Kirova. However, some things are just too big, even for her to handle.

Something like this: hypothetically willfully endangering a Moroi.

In these cases, though very, very rare, a panel of Guardians will come together to hear the case and make a final decision, as well as dole out the appropriate punishment as they see fit. In my case the leader of the panel was none other than Alberta, naturally since she's the head Guardian, and two other Guardians, Emil and Celeste. The only two people besides me in attendance are Stan and Dimitri. Stan's here to testify on his own behalf, the behalf trying to end my career before I even get the chance to start it. And Dimitri… I have no clue why he's here.

Why is he here?

I don't want him to see this.

"For the last time, I didn't do it on purpose," I tryto tell them yet again. Two of them don't believe me and the other one's Alberta.

"You refused to protect a Moroi," states Celeste. "The Moroi you were specifically assigned to."

"I didn't refuse, I just… fumbled."

Stan, the fucking bastard, takes this time to speak his case, not even really bothering to ask permission. "If you'd blocked or attacked me and messed up, that would be a fumble. But you didn't block. You didn't attack. You didn't even try. You just stood there and did nothing."

I sigh. He was right. I did nothing to stop the attack. I… I did nothing. But I didn't do it on purpose! "I made a mistake and I'm sorry. Everyone makes mistakes, though. Isn't that the purpose of doing this exercise? To make mistakes?" Every eye was on me and all I wanted to do was cry.

Emil spoke next. "Someone who already killed Strigoi would make this big of a mistake?"

So that's what this is about. "I kill two Strigoi and now I'm an expert? If that were true, you'd already unleash me upon the world."

"Enough!" Alberta exclaims, her voice ringing throughout the basically deserted room. "We've heard enough. I think it's time we deliberate."

"Wait," a voice interjects behind me, "can I say something?" What is he doing?

"Guardian Belikov, what-"

"Please? It will only take a minute," Dimitri promises. Alberta looks at her fellow panel members before nodding to Dimitri. "Rose is impulsive, we all know this. But since the time she's been back at the academy she has done everything you've asked of her. She's gone to every practice, her grades have improved, and she's stayed out of trouble." Stan gives him a look of pure disbelief and Dimitri ignores it. "You can all agree that Rose will make a wonderful Guardian one day; you can't deny her the chance solely based on circumstantial evidence with absolutely no proof."

Alberta, as well as Emil and Celeste, take a moment to mull over Dimitri's words. He's said those words before. Maybe not exactly, but something similar, the day he brought us back to the academy.

I was going to get kicked out then, too.

He saved me that day and he tried to do it again.

I don't think I have a chance this time, though.

"Rose," Alberta says, "we've come to our decision. Is there anything you'd like to add before we continue?"

I nod as I stand. "I'm ready for whatever punishment you've set. It's been one hell of a journey being back at the academy since I've been back and I just want to thank you, each and every one of you, that includes Guardian Alto," I give him a small smile, to show my sincerity, "for actually trying to teach me and never giving up, even when you really, really wanted to. I'll miss you all. Even Stan."

I sit back down and wait to hear the words I know are coming. "Miss Hathaway, you are punished to community service this Sunday."

"I'll start pack- wait, what?" What did she say?

She raises her eyebrow at me. Seriously, can everyone do that? "Did you honestly think we'd unleash you upon the world when you're not ready?"

"No…"

"Alright then." She smiles at me before leaving the room, the rest of the panel and Stan following behind her. I get up to leave, but Dimitri puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"We need to talk, Roza."