The sky looks pretty, I thought while I paid no attention to the teacher giving the same old boring lectures about… I don't even care. When I tilted my head down I noticed someone familiar. It's that guy with the shades, what was his name? What is he doing anyways?

"Spade, I need to pee." I say, during one of Slick's lectures about god knows what.

"What do you want me to do about it?" He grunts.

"Hand me the pass, please?" He took the pass and tossed to me. I whispered a quick "thanks" and left the room. I headed out the building to search for that guy with the shades. I saw him once in a dream. Maybe he has the answers to where John is.

The whole front of the school is empty.

"I don't get it." I say, aloud.

He was right here… somewhere? Going near one of the trees and sat under it. I checked my phone but there were no messages from Gamzee. It's been three days since he hasn't contacted me and I'm getting really worried. What if I never see him again? I've been going to the coffee shop more than I should and Gamzee's co-workers haven't seen him lately either. I buried my head in my knees. He's probably gone for good. It's all my fault.

"Karkat?" Someone called.

"Leave me alone." I muffled from my knees.

"Don't you wanna see John again?" My head shot up, staring at the shades that covered his eyes.

"You… You know where he is." I got up and took him by the collar. "Where is he?"

"You're a feisty one, aren't you?" He smirked.

"I'll wipe that smirk off your punk ass face if you don't tell me where John is." I gripped his collar harder and grind my teeth.

"If you let go I can tell you why he hasn't been here." I hesitated because I didn't trust him but I eventually release him. "Good. He doesn't want to see you."

Once he said those words, my heart felt like it dropped to my stomach making me want to vomit. I didn't believe it, but why do I feel like it's true. If John didn't want to see me then why do I keep seeing him everywhere I go? Am I just seeing things that aren't there?...Have I finally gone crazy?

Instead of confronting him, I turned back to the building. I don't plan on crying over John. He's never been there, he's probably not the same person anymore. The curse is probably just an unfortunate case of events that doesn't have anything to do with me anyways. You win. Whatever god is trying to torture me or try to teach me a lesson, you win.

"What?" He stares at me blankly. "That's not how it goes, you're supposed to want to convince yourself that what I said is wrong. You're supposed to fight for him. Do you even care?"

For some reason, something inside me snapped and I couldn't control my pent up emotions. "DO I CARE? YOU JUST TOLD ME HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AND NOW YOU ASK ME IF I CARE? How insensitive are you? I give up! I haven't seen John four fucking years and in those four years I've been suffering from isolation from everyone I've ever loved... I just give up. I'm tired, so fucking tired."

The shades guy doesn't make twitch a muscle on his poker face, all he handed me was a phone and then he was gone.


When school was over I went into my dorm and crashed out on my bed. It was an exhausting day. I had to decorate for a masquerade party that's happening two weeks from now and I'm not up for that. Well, if I don't know who the person is then maybe they won't disappear. Speaking of disappearing, Gamzee hasn't called or texted me in forever. I hope he's not gone, I can't help but feel like he's already gone from the start... like he wasn't real in the beginning.

I stare up at the ceiling for some time now until my eyes start to close my eyes from my fatigue.

It's 5 o'clock and my bed is covered in roses? I heard a knock at the door and cautiously go to open it. A girl with short blonde hair holding a single flower picked from the ground. Is she my date? Or someone I'm supposed to go to a fancy place with? Because her dress is really classy with all the right touches and glitter and ruffles. She walks down the corridor and I followed her.

We were at the gym where there were pretty little lights decorated on the netted walls with roses attached to them. There were a lot of people there but all I could only focus is on her. The people were there but I feel like I'm alone with her. Suddenly, she took me into a tight grasp and held my body close. We tangoed, it was funny, my body was moving on its own like a puppet... someone's puppet. I looked at the girl dancing with me but she was no longer there. It was John...in a dress. Before I could say something, I woke up.

At first I was all confused then I realized that I got a text. I checked it and it was Gamzee.

From Gamzee:

SoRrY fOr NoT kEePiNg In CoNtAcT i WaS aLl BuSy AnD sHiT

From Me:

IT'S ALRIGHT.

From Gamzee:

i WaNnA mAkE uP fOr It

From Gamzee:

cOmE tO tHe CaFe

I blushed at the thought of us being alone together. Then another thought occurred to me, Gamzee is still here. Did the curse wore off? That's impossible because John needs to be here. I've been seeing John everywhere so maybe that could be it. They were all illusions though... I'm just crazy. I shook it off and got ready to see Gamzee despite the fact that it's 4 in the morning. I wonder why he texted me so early in the morning. He really must have missed me that much.