Even Angels Fall: Chapter 7

Tina took onto Operation: Save the Unicorn like a moth to a flame, much to Santana's delight. Every day for the past week, Tina would pester Doctor Fabray (who, unbeknownst to Santana, was Tina's roommate before she became a doctor) about Brittany's treatment with a fire in her eyes very similar to the fiery eyes of Brittany's drawings. As Santana sees Doctor Fabray walking in for her evening visits, she can tell the striking doctor is not happy to be on this floor again.

"Quinn?" Ah, right on cue, Santana thinks and Doctor Fabray lets out an exaggerated breath.

"Yes, Tina. What is it now?"

"Brittany's been asking about-"

"About her treatment, I know. Don't hound me anymore about it; I've set up another round of chemotherapy." Oh, thank god! "It's an experimental mix that I've had pharmacy do some research into and I'm going to try it with Brittany's case."

"You think it'll work?"

"I honestly don't think anything will work. She was way too far along when we caught it and the cancer's spread to areas we may not completely know about yet. I think she's insane for wanting to keep trying and I think that her last few days will be spent in hell, but how the fuck am I supposed to tell her that?"

"How could you give up like that?" Santana surprises even herself when she jumps into the conversation. Doctor Fabray is the quickest to recover and gives the technician a less than impressed look.

"Excuse me?"

"If the patient wants to continue treatment, you have to continue treatment. If she's willing to fight, you have no say."

"I know that, but it doesn't mean that I agree with what she's doing, or that I won't try and persuade her to stop. Of the results that come back from this strand of chemo so far, only 10% of patients actually show progress towards remission. 8% had the cancer spread further and 7% died during administration of chemo. The rest showed no sign of improvement. There's a 75% chance that this will do nothing but put her through hell."

At this, Santana pauses. Is it worth it if the odds are so slim? If it doesn't work, will she have done all of this just to put Brittany in more pain?

"Doctor?" All three women turn at the sound of a meek voice coming out of room 6090. The sight of a frail and unsteady Brittany clinging to the doorway for support causes Santana to grab the nearest wheelchair and run to the patient's side. Knowing she now has everyone's attention, Brittany continues as Santana helps her into the wheelchair. "You said there's a chance it'll work."

"It's slim, Brittany."

"But it COULD work." The exasperated doctor looks at a loss for words.

"…Yes."

"Then I'll do it. I've got nothing to lose anymore, so… I want the chemo. Where's the paperwork?"

"In my folder, do you want to continue this in your room?"

"I actually came out here wondering if I could go on a walk, so-"

"I don't think you should walk, Britt. You were just barely standing." Tina comments.

"Well," Brittany thinks for a moment, "Santana could wheel me around. I just need the fresh air." Oh no, thinks Santana. How am I supposed to control myself and be alone with her all at the same time. The pout, however, currently worn on Brittany's sunken in yet entrancing face had Santana in the palm of her hand.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course. We'll just, take a quick spin while Doctor Fabray does her rounds and then we'll get you back to talk about treatment."

"Right. Well. You do that." Quinn said, slightly confused. She couldn't tell if the pained look on Santana's face was because she felt sorry for Brittany or because she didn't want to spend time with her. As the technician wheels the poor girl through the hall, Quinn turns to Tina and says "What's with Lopez?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"That look she got on her face when Brittany asked her to wheel her around. It wasn't a happy face, was it?"

"I think she's just scared for Brittany. I don't think she knew the extent of the risk involved in the chemo."

"No. Something's going on there. I don't know what, but there's definitely something."

"Sure, Quinn." Tina grins to herself, biting her tongue. As Quinn starts rounds on the other end of the hall, Tina checks the nurse's board and her medication calendar to make sure she has nothing to do runs into room 6095 as fast as she can. Finally! She thinks. Alone time!


The two girls wheel is silence down the hall. For Brittany, it is a comforting moment to listen to the sounds of the hospital in motion. While for Santana, the close proximity to the beautiful patient made her completely uncomfortable and antsy. Why does she have to keep looking back at me with those eyes? She looks so small lately, I feel like I've got to hold onto her before she turns into nothing. Maybe if we keep walking, I won't have to say anything.

"Santana, could you take me to the window? I want to see the rain." Oh. Of course. What was I thinking?

Santana wheels into the family lounge and breaks the wheelchair in front of the glass pane. She sits herself on the windowsill facing away from the outside wall, rubs her hands together and rests her forearms on her thighs, bouncing on the balls of her feet anxiously. Brittany watches as Santana rocks back and forth in her place, and takes advantage of their time alone.

"Tell me something no one knows about you, Santana."

"No one knows that I'm wearing a Heroes shirt with that blonde cheerleader's face on it under my scrubs right now."

"Hahaa, you know what I meant…. And, uh, blondes? That's your thing?"

"Sort of."

"I. I used to be blonde, you know."

"I bet you still are."

"I don't know yet. My hair hasn't grown back."

"I figured, with the bandana and all." Santana's breath catches as she feels Brittany's hand rest against the crook of her elbow.

"Tell me a real secret." Those eyes! I don't think I'll ever be able to refuse them. It's like she can see through me.

"Hmm…. Well. When I was little, maybe 6 or 7, I wanted to play football. All of my cousins played and I could catch anything and I was fast, too. The boys at my school thought it was stupid for a girl to play football, so I told my parents to sign me up for a football team in the next county over." I knew nothing would stop you, Brittany thinks. Nothing can stop you. And nothing will stop me either. "Our team wound up going to the Pee Wee Super Bowl, and we had to play against those boys from my school. Since I had the helmet on, none of them could really see who I was." I bet you looked adorable in all of that football gear. I bet you'd still look good in football gear. Or of course, without it. Oh my god, Brittany, FOCUS. "Well, it's the last play of the game and no one's scored. We're backed up all the way to our end zone, and the quarterback throws me a side pass. I ran all the way through those boys for a touchdown, and won us the Super Bowl. I was named MVP for the game, and got to keep the trophy. It's in my apartment now, but it used to be stowed in the basement of my mom's place because none of the boys from my school could know it was me who beat them."

"Is that true?"

"Every word."

"Would you bring in the trophy for me to see?"

"Of course I would."

"Does your girlfriend like your trophy?"

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Oh. Good to know." Santana catches onto where the conversation led and if she could blush, she knows she'd be bright red. "Why didn't you tell them?The boys, I mean. Why didn't you tell them it was you."

"I just wanted to fit in; I wasn't going to rub it in their faces. I'm not like that."

"No, you're perfect." Brittany whispers. It's barely audible and Santana almost can't make it out, but she does and by the signs of her heartbeat racing and her skin turning to fire, especially in the crook of her elbow where Brittany has started to rub small patterns with her thumb, she decides she needs to change the topic.

"What did you mean? When you said you had nothing to lose anymore? What does that mean?"

"Well. My parents died while I was at college. I don't have friends in Lima yet, I had only lived here a few weeks when I started feeling sick. My last relationship ended 3 years ago, and not on an especially good note. I don't really have anybody left."

You have me, Santana thinks. "How do you pay for all of this if you're all alone and obviously not working?"

"My parents were pretty well off, and they never wrote a will, so I got the lump sum of all their possessions. And then I sold the house when I moved to Lima, and my parent's cars, I only needed mine. I've been able to pay all of my bills upfront, on time. I've still got more than enough. Plenty for whatever this round of chemo will cost me."

"Oh."

"Do you think I'm crazy for wanting more chemotherapy, Santana?" Santana thinks over it for a while.

"No. I don't think you're crazy. I forget what it's like when there's cancer around sometimes. I know that's weird because I'm around it all the time, but I'm also around doctors. And doctors only tell you what's logical, and not how you feel. When my mom had cancer, I know I would have done anything to help her."

"Did your mother win?"

"Yes."

"I'll win, too, Santana."