A/N WARNING: this chapter contains graphic content. Disclaimer: I own nothing! Literally! Rookie Blue and it's characters belong to somebody else. Only a month until the Rookie Blue premier! Hope you enjoy this new chapter. Don't forget to drop me a review!


Andy stared at the offending business card. It sat on the coffee table where she'd left it after getting home that night. Phillip's words reverberated in her skull, constantly echoing like she was stood in the middle of a canyon.

She chewed her nails absently as she re-read the words over and over again. She scrutinised it and examined it like one would examine a piece of art, or a bomb. She felt like her relationship with Phillip, strange though it was, resembled a ticking time bomb. Phillip himself, resembled something with an edge.

This case had become like a jack in the box. Andy knew there would eventually be a surprise, something she probably wouldn't like, but she kept winding anyway, she kept searching. It was like some self-fulfilling prophecy. She knew that she should throw away Phillip's card, but she also knew that if she did, she could miss out on finding more information about Katie.

There really wasn't anybody else alive who knew her like her brother would. The Couperet parents were dead.

Phillip was alone.

She picked it up from the table and ran her thumb over the embossed words.

Phillip Couperet

Meat Packing and Whole Foods

His "business" seemed rather innocent.

She wondered if Phillip Couperet had ever actually killed anyone. Andy scolded herself immediately after she thought it. There was no use trying to make excuses for Phillip Couperet, trying to purify his image in her mind. It wouldn't change the fact that he'd probably done very bad things.

And trying to pretend he didn't just to make it easier for Andy to use him for the case was a bad move. She should know better than to make excuses for people's mistakes. That was a lesson she learned a long time ago from Tommy McNally. Well, she'd learned it from an anonymous helpline, actually. The woman on the other end had a gravelly voice, but she could have had the voice of Darth Vader and still sound like an angel to Andy on that day.

She cried into the receiver of a pay phone; sixteen years old.

The woman told Andy that just because she managed to think of some viable reason for why Tommy got drunk all the time, it didn't make it right, and it wouldn't help him get better. That was the only time Andy believed somebody when they told her that it wasn't her fault. That she wasn't alone.

She'd hung up the phone when they suggested she go to the police station to get help for herself and Tommy.

Andy had only wanted someone to talk to that day. She knew the repercussions if she told the police, being that Tommy was the police. He'd be humiliated. God knows where Andy would be taken, especially if Tommy was seen as an unfit parent.

She couldn't justify keeping Phillip's card just because it's possible he hadn't killed anyone. That was being naïve.

Andy just couldn't help but try to see something redeeming in everyone she met.

Maybe it was just pity, because of the loss of his sister. Nevertheless, she couldn't let herself feel sorry for him.

Andy stood up and grabbed the card, walking it to the kitchen and holding it above the trash can. She stood there, poised to dispose. But she couldn't. Her cop instincts also told her that having Phillip as an ally may actually help her solve this case. Even if he was guilty.

She dropped it into the cutlery draw instead.

Now with nothing to think about but that card, Andy found her book halfway under the sofa. She left the page dog-eared. Flipping open to where she left off, she propped her feet up on the coffee table.

Violet was drowning. The last time Andy read, Violet was close to a discovery, finding something shiny reflected on the reef. She got caught in some fishing line. It dug into her skin, cut into her flesh. She couldn't breathe and Andy felt her breath catching in her own throat.

Violet's thoughts turned to death, and heaven.

Would it be quick? Will I remember my life?

But there was hope. She woke up back on her boat, still feeling the sear of saltwater in fresh wounds and the burn of airless lungs, but alive.

A young man appeared before her.

Andy read straight through to after one in the morning.

The man that saved Violet, his name was Damien. He became her love interest. The relationship blossomed, but Violet was stubborn.

She was driven to find this fish, like her life depended on it. Andy grew frustrated with it after it reached two o'clock. She put the book down finally and dragged herself to bed.

Despite her fixation on Couperet for the past twelve hours, Andy's last thought of the day was reserved for Sam.


Before her shift started, Andy hit the gym equipment. She considered going to her personal gym but realised she'd forgotten to renew her membership and couldn't be bothered paying more money.

She felt a little regretful later, though. Once she was lifting weights in the small square room, she noticed she spent all of her time either at home or at the police station. On occasion, she'd spend an hour or two at The Penny. She scolded herself for not getting out more. Maybe that's why she was having such vivid dreams; there was no other stimulation in her life besides work.

Sam strode past the windows then, plain-clothed and on his way to the locker room. He turned his head like he knew she was watching and she quickly shifted her gaze, trying to make it look less obvious that she was gawking.

She thought about stimulation at work, biting her lip as Sam gave her a smile and a wink.

Andy took a deep breath in, shaking her head profusely, reminding herself to stay composed. She lowered the weight in her hand to the ground, letting her breath out simultaneously.

She liked to work out; it was a huge stress lifter.

Sam had encouraged her to use her passion for fitness to work out her tension. Andy tried not to think of other ways to relieve tension. She squinted her eyes shut, growling at herself. She wasn't just stressed; she was freakin' horny.

Sweat beaded on her brow as she finished up. She grabbed her towel as Sam came in, stretching his arms above his head so his shirt rode up to expose his abs.

Jesus Christ, Andy whined internally, averting her eyes.

"Pumping some iron, eh, McNally?" he shook his limbs out.

"Well," she laughed nervously. "You know me. I love to pump," she frowned at her own accidental innuendo, clearing her throat and desperately trying to change the subject.

"Any news about the case?"

"I know as much as you do, McNally." He assured her, lowering himself onto the gym mats.

Andy sat down opposite him, crossing her legs in front of her and feeling the twinge of a pulled muscle along the back of her right thigh.

Sam jerked his chin toward the glass.

"Callaghan seems to be a little more neurotic than usual."

Andy followed his gaze, straining her neck to catch Luke stalking past the windows, his hair a mess and his eyes looking a little crazed.

Andy stretched her leg out, absently, turning her attention back to Sam and hissing at the pain.

She'd pushed too hard without warming up properly. That was a rookie error. Which she had no business making. She'd been a die-hard fitness freak since high school; she should know better.

Andy knew better than to make it obvious why she was so scattered. The answer was sitting in her cutlery draw at home.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, noticing her discomfort.

"Nothing," she grimaced, rubbing the tender muscle.

"It's not nothing." He admonished, getting up onto his knees and moving toward her.

Andy stayed rigid and wide-eyed as Sam approached her, shuffling on his knees.

"Is this okay?" his voice was suddenly lower, reaching out to touch her legs.

She nodded in a haze.

"Lie back." He said softly, and Andy practically collapsed onto the mats in a huff.

"Okay, now bring your knees up to your chest," he ordered.

He was right there. He was just…engulfing her senses. Capturing her space.

She raised her knees up and he grasped both her ankles, bringing them up to his chest. Her feet rested flat on his pecs.

Wow, Andy thought. This could NOT get any closer to a scene out of a sitcom.

He leaned forward and for fuck's sake, their crotches were pretty much friendly neighbours.

"You okay?" he asked and she tried not to show her nervousness as he looked down at her.

Their eyes locked and it was the most awkward erotic moment in Andy's life.

She pressed her lips together, her eyes watering.

"Shit, am I hurting you?" he asked, pulling back slightly.

A giggle bubbled from her lips.

He smirked, shaking his head.

They were locked in the missionary position but with their clothes on. To make it worse, their conversation sounded like something out of a cliché coming-of-age movie when the guy takes the girl's virginity.

The whole thing got too ridiculous, Andy was getting too flustered and she couldn't hold it in. Sam was shaking with laughter, too.

It burst from inside them, and Andy couldn't breathe. Sam pulled back and collapsed on his side.

"Oh, God." Andy covered her mouth, tears streaming. "I needed that."

She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at Sam. He was lying flat on his back, peering up at the ceiling with an easy smile.

That was Sam.

This was when he was himself.

That smile was his.


Andy followed a bickering Nick and Gail into the parade room.

It was business as usual. Frank asked Luke if he had any news on the homicide case but he just shook his head.

Andy watched him for a moment. He looked as bad as Andy had been feeling.

Maybe this case was getting to him, too.

Andy was riding with Gail for the shift. She was sort of relieved. She didn't think she could handle any more tension around Swarek. Gail was a little bit of a break.

"So, how's things going with Nick?"

Gail made a gargling noise in the back of her throat and Andy chuckled.

"Come on, it can't be that bad."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, the sex is great."

"Oh," Andy made a face.

"I don't know…" she continued, oblivious to Andy's reaction. "Sometimes he acts as if nothing has happened since the last time we tried to do this."

"What, sex?"

"No! Relationships and feelings and crap." She explained.

"Sure," Andy nodded her head, not quite knowing how to respond.

A few days ago, Gail had been so rigid about her personal life. It wasn't often that she let people peek in. Andy was glad they'd lost whatever hostility they held towards each other from the academy. Gail must have trusted her if she was going to talk about relationships and feelings and crap.

"Have you actually talked to him about it?"

Gail shrugged.

"What's talk? How do I even go there? Ugh. I should just be a lesbian."

"I'm pretty sure you'd have the same issues. With, like, relationships and feelings and crap."

Gail pouted as the radio crackled.

"We've got a B and E in progress at 'Tanya's Arrangements', a florist on Smith and West."

"Just talk to him." Andy ordered, putting an end to their banter as she picked up the radio receiver.

"1509, we're on it."


It was close to six o'clock, and the sun was long gone. Andy and Gail were going to get some food on their way back to the barn. They were sitting in a drive-through at a fast food restaurant when Andy realised something.

"Hey, can we stop by somewhere before we get back to the station?"

Normally, Andy wouldn't ask Gail for permission, but she was driving. Which for some reason gave her veto powers.

Gail groaned as she crept forward to the next window, stopping an inch short of the driver in front of them.

"Stop by where?" she asked suspiciously.

"Enjoy your meal, officers." A teenage boy mumbled as he handed Gail the paper bag.

"I wanted to see Janice. The woman that found the bodies on Key Street."

"What?" she said incredulously, talking around a mouthful of French fries.

"It's only, like, four blocks from here, come on, Gail."

"Ugh, Andy. It is not our job to play babysitter."

Andy raised an eyebrow, challenging her.

"Fine. Maybe it is sometimes. But this woman is not your responsibility."

"We've got nothing else to do, I just wanted to give her these." She held up a miniature bouquet of lillies she'd bought from the Tanya's Arrangements.

"They were a bargain, a few broken stems. I shouldn't be happy about the perp falling through the skylight, but at least we got something out of it."

Gail rolled her eyes.

"God, you're turning into Dov." She groaned. "Fine! But only as long as it takes you to dump those on her porch."

"I'm surprised you're not better known for your compassion." Andy muttered.

Gail pulled up outside Janice Forrester's house. Andy grinned and unclipped her seatbelt. Gail sighed loudly and slumped back in her seat.

"Three minutes!" Gail shouted as Andy slammed the door.

She walked briskly across the street and up Janice's front lawn. The porch light was on already, making it easy to navigate the brittle wooden steps up to the front door.

Andy knocked and called out.

"Hello? Janice? It's Officer McNally!"

She pressed her forehead into the screen door, peering through the misted glass squares of the wooden door.

"Janice?" she called out again.

She wasn't home.

She placed the lillies on the door step, out of the way of the door so they wouldn't get squished.

Andy hopped back down the steps and across the street to the cruiser. She dropped herself inside and shivered as the heater put feeling back into her extremities.

Janice was getting on with her life. Like Andy should be. Suddenly she felt guilty. Janice had been through horrors that nobody should have to go through. Andy could bite this loneliness, she could get through this case. She would finish it and not let it end her. Janice didn't let her son's death destroy her, or finding Eric.

She was strong and Andy idolised that.

She watched the porch light disappear into the distance.


Sleep had been pretty illusive for Andy lately. She stayed up most of the night, reading 'The Red Herring'.

Violet left Damien to find the fish. Andy practically threw the book against the wall. When she left the docks, Damien begged on his hands and knees for her to stay. He told her he loved her.

Violet said she loved him, but she needed to find the fish first. Violet's monologue said she was conflicted.

Conflicted.

Andy hated that word. It felt like nothing could ever be solved or fixed. It felt like Violet was going to be looking for this fish forever.

Andy felt like Violet, trying to solve this case. She felt like The Rouge Brothers were her fish.

After a restless night, fading in and out of sleep, Andy made it to work looking like a zombie. She made her way over to the coffee machine and betrayed herself by throwing a spoon of sugar into the cup. Usually she didn't like the taste but she needed some energy. She knew running off a sugar high would make her crash pretty quickly.

"Sugar?" Sam asked with confusion as he appeared from behind her.

"Yes, Sam?" she joked with a faux grin.

Sam rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"Yeah, I know." Andy said. "I had a spoonful. I needed it."

"You're a wild woman."

"Totally," she took a sip, wincing as it seared her tongue a little. "Hey, we're riding together today. Anything…?"

Sam shook his head, knowing what she was asking about.

"No new leads. We've hit a dead end. There's nothing more to do at the moment. There's nothing we can use to pin it on the brothers."

Phillip's card flashed in Andy's mind like a dirty magazine. She shook her head like it would help it disappear.

"Well, then, if you're up for it, I wanted to go see Janice." She took another sip as Sam mixed some Splenda into his cup.

"Sure," he said.

"Yeah, I went to see her last night but she wasn't home. I just wanted to check up on her."

"You know you don't have to, right?" Sam replied seriously.

"I know, Sam." She said, frustrated. "I know it's not my job, but who else is going to do it. I care, alright. Is that a crime?"

Sam shook his head.

"Of course not. Just don't get involved, is all I'm saying."

Andy took another sip, hiding her guilty face from her partner. He was like a fucking mentalist, he could tell if she was hiding something from a minute flinch she made. She was afraid of Sam figuring out her liaison with Phillip. Which was extremely unlikely. But she felt that he could read her so well, he may as well find out. She was about to break the silence with a change of subject until he spoke up first.

"Alright, let's get this over with."


"You remember Emily…?" That was a stupid question.

Of course he would remember Emily, but she didn't know how else to bring up the subject.

"What about her?" Sam asked, his arm resting on the steering wheel as they made their way through a set of traffic lights.

"You broke the rules for her."

Sam shifted in his seat a little uncomfortably.

"Where is this going?"

Andy shook her head.

"Nowhere. I'm just wondering…how did you know it was going to work out? You could have lost your job, gotten into serious trouble for not writing her up as an informant. How did you know if it was worth it? Breaking the rules, I mean."

"You just know." Sam shrugged.

"It was to help innocent people. I wanted to help Em, so I did what I could without killing anyone. At the end of the day, she got out alive. Even if I didn't get the bust. Even if Anton Hill walked. Which he did."

Andy nodded, trying to look nonchalant. Sam obviously saw through her.

"What is this about? You planning on bending the rules for somebody?" he between her and the road.

"No, no." she smirked, shaking her head. "Of course not."

"Right." He responded sarcastically.

"Listen, if you're planning on something shady just let me in on it, alright?"

Andy frowned.

"When you wanted to colour outside the lines, you wouldn't let me get involved. What makes you think I would do that to you if I was doing the same thing?"

Sam gave her a look.

"Hypothetically." She added.

"Well, it was practically your first day. Besides, I didn't know you back then. You could have been a square who told on me to Mom and Dad."

"Okay, fine. You didn't know me. Doesn't mean I'd let you get involved in some shady business I've got going on." She narrowed her eyes at him.

Sam smiled wistfully, turning the corner onto Janice's street.

"We all need back up sometimes, McNally. I'm just doing what any partner would do." He parked outside of Janice's house.

Andy stared at him for a moment and thought to herself,

You're not just any partner.

"We going, or what?" he asked, pulling off his seat belt.

"Yeah, yeah," she agreed, opening her door.

She examined the outside of Janice's house briefly and paused.

Her lilies were still there. Sam looked back at her, halfway up the front lawn.

"You alright?"

Andy nodded, following him and bounding up the front steps. She pursed her lips at the flowers, hoping Janice didn't think they were a pity-gift.

Sam motioned for Andy to knock.

She wrapped her knuckles against the door frame and called out Janice's name.

They waited. Sam moved to peer through the curtains of the bay window next to the door. The one that looked in on the living room.

"There's a fire going, she must be home."

"Maybe she's asleep?" Andy reasoned, knocking again.

Something didn't sit right in the pit of her stomach.

So, she pulled the screen door back, glancing at Sam. He didn't say anything, but his face betrayed what he thought. This made Andy move quicker. Which made Sam reconsider.

"Wait, hold on, McNally—"

"Janice?" Andy called out, opening the wooden door and pushing through.

The door was unlocked.

Andy strode through the empty living room.

"Janice? Are you okay? It's officer McNally!" she walked through to the kitchen and she wasn't there either.

She doubled back towards the front door and took to the stairs. The light was on in the bathroom and she paused. Andy swallowed hard and pushed the door open.

The light reflected off the watery pool of red in the middle of the floor and all the air escaped Andy's lungs. The smell was pungent.

The bathtub had overflowed slightly, spilling diluted blood onto the tiles. Janice's arm hung over the edge of the porcelain, her fingers dragging in the liquid, her pale skin webbed with trails of crimson.

Andy blinked and Sam touched her shoulder.

He stepped back into the hallway and called it in.


It was being a cop that made you realise, more sharply and with more clarity than you could imagine, that the world was random and cruel, and nothing will ever make sense like it should.

Today was one of those days. The world seemed merciless. Janice was dead and it didn't make sense to Andy. These things have to make sense, otherwise...what is the point? There had to be an answer for Andy. But Janice took those answers with her.

She leaned against the cruiser as the coroner spoke with Sam.

She caught the word 'suicide'. It thumped inside her head. It was a mean word, a cruel and scary word. It was sharp, and it hurt to hear.

She folded her arms numbly.

Sam approached her then.

"Suicide, then?" she murmured as he stopped in front of her.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Cause of death was blood loss from self-inflicted injuries."

Andy kept nodding and breathing. That's all she could do for Janice now. Listen to the coroner's findings, watch her body get taken away, and nod, and breathe.

"Time of death?" she asked, staring at the curb.

"Probably last night, between nine and twelve."

Andy closed her eyes, a throbbing regret churning in her stomach.

"I was here at six last night. I could have—"

"No. Andy. Don't."

She pressed her lips together, shaking her head, and beating down the feeling that crept up her throat and stung her eyes. Sadness. Grief. For a person she barely knew.

Sam caught her chin with his thumb and forefinger, turning her face back to him.

"It's not your fault. Sometimes we can't help everyone." He dropped his fingers and kept his dark eyes locked on hers.

Her sight became blurry with tears.

"This job is about trying."

"But, I did try!" she ground out, gritting her teeth and pulling back the tears. "I tried harder than anyone. She was doing so well. She's so strong…" she glanced at the lilies on the porch, untouched.

"I thought she'd be fine."

Sam took her hand.

"With this job, you can never tell."

Noelle's words echoed back in Andy's mind. The day she saved that woman from the burning car, but she ended up dying anyway.

It happens sometimes. You do what you can and it looks like you got 'em…and…then you don't.