Chapter Seven. Time Slips Away.
One morning at the Team Rescue Express Headquarters, Nightmare, Leaf, Duskla and Belia were sat around watching the hit show Jigglypuff's Pillow.
"But, Ivan!!!!!" The Jigglypuff exclaimed to the Machoke. "I love you."
"Heh." The Machoke said with a thick accent. "You know vot I love. The sweet sweet smell of success, and that is vot I will get."
"But, how?" Julie asked.
"Simple, I vill join the operation to carpet the Muk village in mustard sauce."
"I don't get this show." Nightmare said. "So, the evil Machoke..."
"Ivan's not evil!!!!!!" Belia, Leaf and Duskla yelled. "Just misunderstood."
"Heh, you know who else was misunderstood?" Nightmare asked. "The Coppingers."
"Who?"
"Ah screw the lot of you." Nightmare remarked, as he opened a Black Persian Beer.
The commercials came on, when Professor Alaworth wandered in.
"Good news everyone!!!!!" He said. "I think I may have discovered a way to control time."
"Meh." Nightmare replied.
"Who cares." Belia asked.
"But, I need you to go to the highest mountain, and get blood from Dialga in order for it to work." Alaworth exclaimed.
Nightmare jumped up.
"Neat, I'll get my hack saw."
"I'll just get Apollo to give you the run down." Alaworth said, as the angry Ludicolo wandered in.
"Right, now listen up, ya bastards." Apollo said. "Get a load of this, the crazy old fool wants you to go and get blood from that bastard Dialga. Now, Dialga might not be willing to give up his blood, so... If all else fails, throw a crew member at him and run the hell away. I'd go with the Shaymin. He looks the lightest little bugger."
Nightmare was writing it down.
"Yep, sacrifice Leaf." He said. "Is there anything about killing Dr. Krabbleberg?"
"Yeah, don't do it unless he comes at you with medical advice." Apollo explained. "Then, go nuts."
He made to go back.
"Oh, and Belia." Apollo said, lightly
The Buizel looked up.
"Give my back my DVD, or I'll kill your family and piss on the ashes."
"So, this is the highest mountain in Verger." Nightmare commented. "The Merlin Plateau. It feels like just yesterday I was here."
"Why were you here, honey?" Tandy asked.
"To kill humans." Nightmare answered.
"Why were you trying to kill humans?" Duskla asked.
Nightmare laughed.
"Well, since there aren't any around, I did a good job."
Leaf looked down.
"So, what are we looking for?" The Shaymin asked.
"A sign saying Palkia sucks ass." Duskla replied. "Those two really don't like each other. They haven't since she cheated on him with Kyogre, and there was that huge picture in the papers of Dialga squaring up to Kyogre. We really don't need another celebrity divorce."
"Right." Nightmare said, as he held his hacksaw up. "So, you distract the wimp, and I'll try and hack his leg off."
"You think that he'll let you do that?" Duskla asked.
"Would you?" Nightmare asked. "I'll just sharpen it on Tandy's ass."
Tandy screamed in pain, before murmuring with content.
"Mmm."
"Okay, there's the sign." Leaf called.
"Palkia Sucks Ass." Nightmare said.
"Don't let her hear you say that." Duskla advised. "She's a real bitch."
Tandy landed a few feet away from the sign.
"Righty." Tandy said. "Anyone see the can anywhere?"
"Just do it on the ground." Nightmare remarked, as Leaf jumped off the back of Tandy...
Only to be covered in something brown and smelly.
"Oh for the love of...!!!!" Leaf exclaimed. "I'm covered in Tropius shit!!!!!!"
Duskla sighed.
"Well, I would say that it's your own fault." She remarked. "But, I do feel a slight bit of pity, so I'll tell you that there's a watering hole nearby, where the Stantler drink. Go jump in that."
Leaf wandered away, as Nightmare looked at Duskla.
"Isn't that a bit harsh on the Stantler who have to drink there?"
"Since when did you care about Stantler?" Duskla asked.
"I don't." Nightmare replied. "However, someone has to ask these questions."
They were eventually rejoined by a wet Leaf, who was looking miserable.
"Sorry little dude." Tandy called.
Leaf just glared at him, before following Nightmare and Duskla towards the hole in the ground.
"Dialga!!!!!" Duskla called into the hole. "Are you in there?!!!!"
"Who is it?!!!!" A deep voice called.
"We want some of your blood!!!!!" Nightmare yelled. "Now, give it up or we come in there and kick your ass!!!!!!!"
"Some subtlety would be nice." Leaf groaned, as the ground started to shake.
Then, Dialga appeared in front of them.
"So, why do two ghosts and a Shaymin want my blood?" He asked.
"We're really big fans!!!!!" Duskla called. "We love your work and want something to prove that we met you."
Dialga glared at her and Leaf, not noticing that Nightmare was edging away.
"Do you really expect me to buy that?!!!!!!" He thundered, as Nightmare pulled the hacksaw out and started to cut away at the back of one of Dialga's rear legs.
"My blood is precious!!!!!" Dialga said. "Indeed nobody gets my blood without my say so. This stuff can control the very fabric of time!!!!"
Nightmare stuck a straw into the hole and started to suck the blood out, before spitting it into a bucket.
"Dialga blood should not be used for fear of the disastrous consequences." Dialga continued. "Why, if it was to get into the hands of a demented despot, then...."
"GOT IT!!!!!!!!" Nightmare yelled, as he ran past Dialga.
Duskla and Leaf ran after him, ignoring the roars from Dialga.
"My leg hurts!!!!!!!!!"
"So, Professor, what do you need this for?" Nightmare asked, as he dipped his finger in the Dialga blood.
"Well, I was considering putting it in the time machine that I invented." Professor Alaworth explained, as he started to heat the blood up. "Or, at the very least, I could put it on pancakes and see if it makes me younger."
"I go for the baked food option." Dr. Krabbleberg remarked. "Maybe you could share some with your good pal, Dr. Krabbleberg!!!!!"
Alaworth smiled, before picking a chair up and whacking the Krabby with it.
"No means no!!!!!" He said. "If you want food, get your own!!!!!!"
Nightmare suddenly realised that the blood was getting hot, while he still had his hand in it. He yelped, as he threw it out.
Some of the blood accidentally landed on Duskla....
Turning her into a Dusknoir.
"Hey!!!!" She protested. "I liked being a Dusclops."
She reached into the bucket, and flicked some of the blood over Nightmare....
Who turned into a Gastly.
"Hey!!!!!" Nightmare yelled. "Now, I'll never be able to drink again."
"Hmm!!!" Alaworth remarked, as he adjusted his glasses. "It appears that the blood of Dialga does contain the secret to...."
There was a flash of light.
"Getting a damn good whipping." Alaworth said. "Anyway, that's the secret to getting good sex from Torchics."
"I feel sick." Leaf remarked.
"Hey!!!" Nightmare exclaimed, as he floated into the bucket and turned back into a Gengar. "What just happened?"
"Wasn't it daylight outside?" Leaf asked, as he looked out of the window, and seeing that it was night.
"Dear Zombie Arceus!!!!!" Alaworth exclaimed. "We're jumping forward...."
Another flash of light.
"In front of a car." Alaworth finished. "So, anyway, if you ever have trouble with Bidoof, you should just do that."
"It did it again." Leaf said. "It's the daytime."
"Hmm." Nightmare remarked. "So let me get this straight...."
He looked at Professor Alaworth.
"Tell me what's going..."
A third flash of light.
"Down tonight!!!!" Nightmare sang, as the disco lights were on in the Rescue Express building. "Just let me get going on down tonight, and maybe I'll always... I'm singing a song I have no idea of the words to."
He threw the microphone aside.
"It did it again." Leaf exclaimed, as Dukla washed herself in Dialga blood, turning her into a Duskull.
As her hands vanished, she dropped the bucket on the floor.
"No!!!!" She wailed, dropping down and trying to rub herself in it.
She eventually managed to turn back into a Dusclops.
"Woohoo!!!" Duskla yelled, touching herself all over. "I'm younger than I was."
"Good for you." Alaworth remarked. "You spilt my blood, you moron!!!!!"
She groaned.
"I'm sorry, but my hands vanished."
"That's no excuse!!!!" Alaworth snapped. "If there were more psychics in the world, then we wouldn't need hands."
"You have hands." Nightmare pointed out.
"That's only to fool the people at the institute of smart Pokemon." Alaworth replied.
"My head hurts." Leaf said.
"Now, listen up!!!!" Alaworth called. "I think that the only way to stop the time leap's from happening is to...."
A fourth flash of light.
"Anyway apologising is bad. But, you have to apologise to Dialga."
"Yeah, that should go...." Leaf started to say.
A fifth flash of light.
"Your apology is accepted." Dialga said. "Now, where's my blood?"
"It was spilt onto the floor, your mighty Dialganess!!!!" Duskla explained.
"Really, the floor?" Dialga asked. "Truly a sad day when my blood adorns the floor. Just tell me you have a carpet."
Everyone present shook their head.
"Damn!!!" Dialga said. "Anyway, if any of you try to steal my blood again, then I will..."
A flash of light, and Leaf, Nightmare and Duskla were back in front of the TV.
"I'm just glad we didn't here the last of that." Nightmare laughed.
Author's Notes.
Well, I hope you found that good. I enjoyed writing it.
More of a series of oneshot adventures than an actual continuous storyline.
Oh and I should point out that the TV show, Jigglypuffs Pillow bears no relation to the author of the same name.
Anyway, thanks for reviewing. They are appreciated.
Incidentally, there's no prize for this, but the premise is based on another cartoon other than Pokemon. If anyone can guess what it is, then you can pat yourself on the back.
Any storylines or characters are welcomed.
Thanks for reading.
Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!!!!
