He found her at the courtyard, sitting under the cherry tree. She was idly twirling a single cherry blossom in her slender fingers, staring out into space.
Seiran halted a few feet from her, and waited for her to acknowledge his presence. A strange sense of tranquility enveloped her, and he was reluctant to intrude in her solitude. He was about to walk away when she spoke.
"Seiran," she called softly.
He slowly met her eyes, "Hai, Shuurei," he replied just as softly.
"Won't you stay with me for a bit?" she asked hesitantly, "I… I… please?" she looked up at him in mute appeal.
Seiran sighed deeply, what did he expect— that she would greet him with open arms? A declaration of undying love? Part of him wanted to refuse her request, in the hopes that she'd be able to voice out what he wanted, no— needed to hear.
Just because she rejected Ryuuki doesn't mean she loves you, idiot he thought to himself mockingly. She could just as easily marry Kouyuu or Ryuuren… or any of the other men who were in love with her for that matter. And there were far too many of them; and far better matches for her than he could ever possibly be. After all, what was he? Who was he? He was just one of the Emperor's guards after all…
"Hai," he said calmly. None of his inner turmoil showed in his face. He walked over to her and leaned against the tree, his arms crossed casually over his chest.
Shuurei sat on the ground, acutely aware of his presence next to her. She had been thinking about a lot of things recently and she had come to a startling realization. She knew what she wanted; in fact, she already had a speech prepared but now, the words just refused to come out. She bit her lip, frustrated at her own reticence.
This was strange. She had never been embarrassed or uncomfortable in Seiran's presence all her life, and now, she was experiencing both. So they stayed quietly together, a weird and awkward silence filling the air.
He felt like a heel. He looked down and watched as myriad emotions danced across her beautiful face. Seiran was disgusted by his selfishness, and he regretted once again his earlier actions. His weakness and inability to control his feelings had brought on this tension between them. It was painful to see that his love was making her feel this anxiety.
He had to find a way to fix this; even if it killed him. He could not bear to lose her. And if the only way that he would be able to stay by her side was as good old dependable Seiran, then so be it.
Seiran's mouth was drawn in a thin line, "Ojou-sama," he said in a strained tone, putting great emphasis on the honorific, "about what I said before, please don't think about it." He managed to grit out the words, "Those words were not meant to cause you grief, and I apologize if they brought you any inconvenience." He ended flatly.
Her chest tightened painfully at his tone and her eyes flew up to meet his. She caught the look of naked pain in their beautiful emerald depths before they were quickly masked. If she hadn't seen it, she would have lost all hope as she stared at the stoic expression etched on his handsome face.
Suddenly, she knew what she was supposed to do, and the fear that had paralyzed her throat earlier seemed to have melted away.
"So," she murmured quietly, "does this mean that you're taking back what you said? And am I to understand that you don't really love me?" she asked softly, looking at him with unfathomable eyes.
He gazed down at her in confusion, "Eh, Ojou-sama?"
"Shuurei," she corrected firmly. "My name is Shuurei, Seiran…" she repeated. "I would like to hear you call me by my name. It find that it… pleases me." She said in an odd voice.
He looked at her helplessly. He had been prepared to do the right thing, the honorable thing and now, this? "Shuurei, I don't understand."
"Give me your hand, Seiran," she murmured gently.
Unconsciously obeying her command, he offered his hand. Seiran felt her place something soft and silky in his cupped palm. He glanced down and found himself staring at the cherry blossom she had been holding earlier. He turned baffled green eyes to her.
She started speaking, slowly at first, "I used to think that cherry blossoms were afraid to fall, because falling meant dying."
Heart beating fast, Seiran listened to her intently, with bated breath.
"But I was wrong," she said softly. "I've come to understand many things these past few days." She stole a brief look at him through lowered lids, seeing his rapt expression her voice gained strength, "I realized that I was never really afraid to fall because I knew you were there, that you'd always be there to protect me and keep me safe."
"I never questioned that feeling, taking it for granted that that was how things were supposed to be." She ended, staring up at him directly, allowing him to finally see the truth.
The breath he'd been holding came out in a hiss as he looked into her eyes, the warmth and love… burning brightly against the darkness was unmistakable.
"Shuurei…" he said wonderingly.
She looked at him, a rueful smile on her face. "It seems that when you took my hand on that snowy day, my fate was sealed as well," she ended wryly. Seeing the bewildered expression on his face she burst out laughing.
"Oi Seiran," she murmured playfully, "And here I thought I was the densest person in the world," she grinned at him. "It seems that you're even thicker than I am!" she teased impertinently.
Seeing the carefree smile on her face and the joy radiating from her, he felt the tightness gripping his body slowly ease.
"Shuurei… are you sure?" he asked hesitantly, "because if you're not..."
She silenced him with a single look. "Hai," she answered firmly. She held out her hand to him again, "Seiran?"
He smiled at her and accepted her unspoken promise. Seiran placed his large hand in the grasp of her much smaller one. He sat down beside her, and he leaned against the tree trunk. Shuurei moved closer to him, allowing her head to rest lightly on his shoulder.
Seiran looked down at their clasped hands, a feeling of peace and contentment washed over him in waves. He squeezed gently, and she squeezed back in reply.
I love you.
I know, I love you too.
They sat together watching the stars in a companionable silence for a long time. No words were spoken, none were needed.
