Disclaimer: Still don't own the Harry Potter series.
This is a very fun chapter! =P
Chapter 7
In truth, there wasn't much course material left to cover. Three weeks of regular classes, with normal class participation and everything, and it was done. From that point on the class time was free to be a study period for other classes. "We will be going over the material again when it gets closer to final exams, so you are not in the complete clear yet, students!" Professor Evans reminded everyone. The class was also quick to remind her of the promise she made. "Yes, yes. I remember," she waved her hand dismissively; "It will be on Friday. I was able to swap Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws out of their Charms class so they could join us out in the field during this time. It will be open to every 7th year and only 7th years. I can recognize who is in whose class so do not try to pull anything. Now this is not required, of course, but it will be a lovely treat, I believe." She relayed this message to the other half of the students later on. They all were very enthusiastic about it and to them, Friday couldn't come fast enough.
Friday morning turned out to be a warm spring day, and Sarah was really not sure how to feel about that. Granted, one can't really tell the weather from under a lake, but that's why communicating with neighbors is always important. Even if said neighbors are mermaids. They could always be counted on to tell what temperature the surface was or what the weather was like. Sure, if someone came down to see a whole bunch of students signing with mermaids through the windows throughout the day, it might come off as strange. But it was just other part of the Slytherin House routine, and Sarah became no exception. After her morning talk with them, she decided to go back to her room. She was starting to doubt if this was a good idea. Okay fine. She was scared. There. She admitted it. So very scared of what was gonna come out. Of how they would react. To any of it! Her interest in DADA, her girlfriend, her family, her sight, her past. Okay, she wasn't really worried about her sexuality around this crowd, but one still has to be cautious about that sort of thing regardless. It takes one person to make life miserable and dangerous. A part of her just wanted to get the whole day over with. Yet there was another part of her, a stronger will, a side that was tired of running and hiding. Tired of not being known. Tired of being invisible. These kids wanted to know more about her, and that's what they are going to get, like it or not. Sarah sighed and smiled a little. Well, they asked for it.
One could mistake the scene as primary school recess time. When the bell rang, an entire year of students ran excitedly outside to the open fields, full of cheer and laughter. The oldest year, hard to believe. Headmistress McGonagall looked out amused at the quite large gathering of older students choosing the perfect spot for all of them to sit. She spotted Professor Evans straggling behind the big crowd as they kept changing spots and directions, while chairing a folding chair. The scene was so innocent and youthful, so normal. It was hard to believe last year even happened. She was worried about Defense Against the Dark Arts being, well not exactly cursed, that was never actually proven…at least not publically (whether it really was or wasn't, Dumbledore never confirmed), but one with a not-so-great reputation. The only one that she could think of that was beneficial in that position in the last few years was Remus Lupin… She took a breath. That was a painful road to go down. She was not thrilled to give the position to another former student, but it meant something to Sarah. It was a good path she was on, as opposed to a darker one, and this was the perfect outlet. McGonagall looked back out at the gathering down on the field. It seems that they found a spot and everyone is getting settled. It really looks like she's a primary school teacher, ready to read a book to the students aloud. It was so pure. Headmistress McGonagall wished from the bottom of her heart that good things, and only good things, were going to come out of this meeting.
I feel like I'm being judged and we haven't even started yet bloody hell does my panic show I hope not jeez why did I just think that now I'm even more panicked shit shit, Sarah thought…..if she could actually form coherent thoughts. It was more like AHOIWANJASFHOWASNJSDGAIOSDGANJSDIODFAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. She was less nervous for her first day, and that's saying something. Again, she repressed her urge to pull out her cane, but didn't only because she was terrified to even breathe let alone move. The students settled on the grass, Ginny, Luna, Julia and Becca sat together of course, and eventually all looked up at her. They all sat in semi-awkward, semi-pleasant silence for about ten minutes. Or at least, it felt like ten minutes. It was more accurately around 2 or 3 minutes. Sarah tried to keep her voice level, "So…is anyone going to ask a question?"
Finally a hand raised and the student asked her favorite color. "You know, that's a very loaded question considering everyone is sorted into colors, wouldn't want to give the impression that I'm picking favorites," she winked and smiled. "But honestly, I would say it's lavender."
"Why?" a student asked.
"You want reasons too? Goodness," she huffed dramatically, causing a ripple of giggles. "Well if you must know," she started to blush a bit, "It reminds me of my girlfriend." Her memory flashed to a chipper Filipino-Australian in a lavender tank top. 'Looks like we're roommates! I'm Lana' 'Oh, you're an international student? Don't worry, I'll help ya around!' 'Australia's pretty different from the UK, huh?' 'You aren't alone now, don't worry.' 'Been here two years already, homesick yet?' 'Hey Sarah, like video games? What?! What do you mean you've never played?!' 'British wizards don't get to do much muggle stuff, huh?' 'Oh mate, I'm not looking to impress boys, but I'm definitely looking'. Her thoughts were gone in a flash, as the students jumped at the word 'girlfriend'. She waved her hands to settle them down.
"You really have a girlfriend?" "What's she like?" "Can we meet her?"
"Calm down, calm down!" she smiled. "Yes, I have a girlfriend. She lives in Australia, I've known her for four years and we've been stepping out for two. She's a wizard and we met at our university. And yes, I am a lesbian. Next topic now."
Becca smirked and raised their hand, "What house were you?"
Sarah smirked and her eyes had a mischievous twinkle, "Hufflepuff." Becca grinned at their friends victoriously as the Hufflepuff students cheered and Slytherin students feigned gasps of shock which dissolved into smiles.
Another hand shot up, "What would you do if you never became a professor?"
"Hm, going deeper are we? Well truth be told, I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise. It was only in university that I figured I wanted to teach. But teaching what? That was the question. Now, I hope you all listen to everything I'm about to say. The way I teach DADA is very methodical and practical. One must understand what they are defending against in order to best defend themselves against it, no? So yes, I looked into Dark Arts scholarly. I researched how they are used and created, what motivates the users and what emotions make the spells stronger and weaker. I then looked at all the Defense spells in all the same aspects. And then I compared and matched and built on that. I also looked for non-lethal non-long term debilitating spells on either side. As you can imagine, Defense had a lot more to offer in that department. And I ah…I had lots of field practice with Defense spells. But! Seeing as sharing and teaching these improved spells to those around me was something I did pretty often, I figured I should apply it to teaching students. And coming back was something I really wanted to do regardless, so it was a win-win," Too late echoed in her mind but she continued, "So I don't know what I would be doing. Something with flowers probably."
It took a moment for the students to digest everything she said, so there was a pause before the next question was asked, "Who was the most influential person in your life?"
Sarah took a moment, as memories of laughter and scars and sweaters and mischief flashed before her and she caught dangerous names on her tongue and shoved them back. To the students, only those who had a keen eye or who were familiar with the feeling saw the anguish that blinked over her face and then disappeared into a smile as she answered. "Well my girlfriend naturally. And my professors like McGonagall. And…" She hesitated, knowing it was dangerous territory, but continued, "And my family. My parents…my uncle…my godfather…my…" With each word, her voice got tenser and choked up, like each one was a struggle to speak. No one dare press farther…
"What's one thing that changed your life?" one student asked, and was promptly swat at by their neighbors, since they obviously didn't take the hint before that her past was a difficult subject.
A mashup of memories flooded her mind, so much so she had to close her eyes, which was sort of a bad idea. She coughed out, "Well, um…there are…a lot…of things." She took a deep breath and smiled, "Like…getting to teach here, and getting to have all of you as students. You all have given me a purpose and direction and motivation, one that is bigger than myself and living my own life. And I think you all will continue to change my life for the better." There was a chorus of 'Awwws' in response.
Luna raised her hand, finally deciding it was the right time to ask, "Professor, may I ask, what are on your eyes?" There was a handful of laughter at her question. Ginny and Becca glared at them, while Julia added to Luna's question with an air of defiance, "And what's up with that cane you have?" Some students looked at her strangely, apparently not noticing that before.
Sarah grinned, and raised her eyebrows at the students who laughed. "Hey now, be nice," she leaned forward, resting her arms on her legs, "There is something you must learn that can be applied throughout life: just because you can't see something or you aren't experiencing it, does not mean it isn't real or isn't happening." Using her left hand, her dominant hand, she took off her glasses to reveal her hazel eyes had symbols on them, glowing faintly in a magenta color. In one fluid movement, she passed her glasses off to her right hand and onto her head, pulled out a small cylinder from her pocket and shook it once. Out popped a cane, which she placed in front of her and rested her hands and chin on the top. She smiled innocently, and her eyes once again twinkled in mischief. "You mean these?" she asked. Luna, Julia, and some other students that had previously seen her with the cane nodded. Sarah leaned back in her chair while continuing to rest her hands on her cane. "Well you see, this goes back to the life changing moments question. I happen to be blind. That's what the cane is for," she tapped her cane on the ground once, "But I was not born blind. When I was five there was…an incident…that left me blind. Now I learned to adapt of course, in both the muggle world and wizard world, but it was far from smooth. Having magic helped a lot, like learning the spell for translating things into braille for example. And like every good student at Hogwarts, I ventured into the restricted section of the library several times. So in my 6th year, I found a book on an ancient magic, and there was a series of enchantments that allowed for the restoring of each of the senses if they had been damaged. It would not work on things that one was born with. But there was a price to the restoration. A spellcaster would be the only one to create the spell of course, but the spell itself is fueled by one's own spirit and internal balance. That means it will continue to work endlessly forever unless something disrupts the channels, like overwhelming emotions or exhaustion. The spell is simple to recast over and over, but it requires one to regain stability. Maintaining this balance constantly throughout life is very near impossible. Now for a child that had developed some anger issues and faces strong elements of trauma, it is a daily struggle to maintain that balance even as I grew older. These glasses have a spell on them so no one can see the runes, although I should not be surprised when bright eyes that see many things common eyes do not are not affected." Sarah grinned and Luna smiled. Sarah looked at her watch, stood up, still kept her cane in front of her, put back on her glasses, and said, "Well, class is almost over, we should head back inside now. This was a very interesting experience, and one that I hope was worth all the hard work." The students agreed through clapping and cheers. Then they gathered their things and started to go back towards the school.
Once they were back inside they were dismissed and Sarah started to head back towards her office when someone called out, "Professor Evans?" It was Ginny.
"What can I help you with, dear?"
Ginny rubbed the back of her neck, "You've lost someone, haven't you."
Sarah blinked. "What do you mean?"
She looked down. "You lost someone in your family. Or perhaps a lot of your family. When you were talking about it, I could tell."
Sarah looked at her gently. "I can tell as well." Ginny looked up and sighed a bit, nodding. The mischievous glint and smirk reappeared in Sarah's features. "However, sometimes my family has a tendency to not stay lost."
This caught Ginny's attention and she looked up fully, confused. "You mean they aren't dead?"
"Well most of them are, sadly. Pretty young too. Buuuut," she lowered her voice and looked directly at Ginny, smirk and glint still present, "perhaps you can find who isn't."
Special thanks to super-duper-hero and just-obsessing on Tumblr for helping out with questions. Also credits to queerandgrumpy and brosequartz on Tumblr for the Slytherin House and mermaids headcanon!
