#7 The Truth Comes Out
A/N: Back to Bec's POV
Griffin was pacing like a caged animal. My cheek still stung from where he'd hit me, but I knew why he was so infuriated. It wasn't me; it was the death of another Jumper. I realized now that most of the Jumpers I'd met were young. Clearly, most of them were killed early. From what I could gather, a Jumper would be lucky to get to twenty. Twenty-five was an achievement, and hardly any of them would make it to thirty.
I was beginning to see the truth about Paladins, and I didn't like it. I had assumed the Jumpers were the evil ones, but now I was seeing things from Griffin's point of view. His friend had just been killed and so he would take his anger out on me. I watched him pace, my hands clenched into fists.
"I'm sorry I hit you." Griffin spat the words out like they were poisonous, and I guessed he was kind of person who never apologized. He turned to face me, his blue eyes full of anger and hatred. Is this what I was condemned to? Choosing between what was right and what I knew? I loved my dad, and I couldn't imagine him as a ruthless killer…but the blood that stained his head was proof enough of what the Paladins were capable of.
"I'm sorry about Alice." I deliberately made my voice soft. I didn't want to aggravate Griffin, especially since he was so hyped up already. I didn't understand why he didn't just Jump out, get some allies and take on the Paladins. He looked like he wanted to tear them apart. "Look, can't you get help? Other Jumpers…"
Griffin laughed sourly. "Jumpers are solitary, sweetheart. Alice and Lance were an exception. Most of us hang out by ourselves. There's no way other Jumpers are going to team up with me to fight Paladins. This one Jumper, David…he tried to get me to fight with him and I practically told him to piss off. It's just not what we do."
"Then maybe you need to change." The steely edge was back in my voice, and I knew I was on dangerous ground. "If you fight by yourselves, you'll die by yourselves. I don't understand this war, but I understand that Paladins are brutal and Jumpers are cowards. You run and you hide, but you don't fight."
Griffin bared his teeth and I knew I was getting on his nerve. I braced myself, knowing that he might hit me again. The tension was thick as mud as he marched across the room and grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me roughly.
"I am fighting."
Then I could only think of one last alternative. "Then maybe you all need to stop."
Griffin snickered as he released me. For about the millionth time since I'd met him, he had succeeded in making me feel like an idiot. I felt my cheeks burn and I knew I must be turning bright red.
"If only it was that easy. It doesn't stop, Bec. It will never stop."
"Why?" I demanded, folding my arms and glowering at him. Who was Griffin to say whether the war between the Paladins could end?
Griffin's eyes were burning and I knew that I'd done something wrong. His entire face was full of passionate anger.
"Because they killed my family!"
Griffin's breathing was heavy and ragged down, as if he'd just run a marathon. I took a step back, realizing that I had stumbled upon territory I was unfamiliar with. So this was why Griffin was so full of anger and hate and vengeance…because the Paladins hadn't only maligned him, but his family as well.
I shook my head and tried to take it back.
"I'm sorry, Griffin, I didn't know…"
I just kept making these stupid mistakes. Why did I insist on talking about a world I knew nothing about? I just wanted to go back to Dad and forget everything, become the completely normal eighteen-year-old girl I had been before. But I couldn't have that, for the same reason Griffin couldn't have his family back. It was far too late, and we were different people now. These events had changed us.
"It was sixteen years ago anyway," Griffin's tone was bitter, "I was five years old and I'd only just Jumped for the first time. The Paladins killed my parents in front of me. I didn't understand why at the time…but my older sister took care of me until I was a teenager…and then they came for her, too. Don't you see, Bec? They kill anyone and everyone you associate with. They don't care about me, so why should I care about them?"
So that's what it was. It was all about killing and revenge…I hadn't been a part of this secret war long, but I already despised it. I resented the fact that I was supposed to choose a side, that my ability meant I would never be left alone. It would mean that I would be hunted – but by Paladins or Jumpers?
"Griffin, I don't know what you want me to do."
"You can hide me from them." His tone was almost desperate. "I can kill them, and they'll never find me."
There was another tense silence as Griffin looked down at his hands. His jaw was clenched and the expression on his face was one I couldn't quite place. I think he was struggling to remain in control of his emotions, of the passionate fire that blazed into an inferno whenever the Paladins were brought up.
"Do you know why it was you I took?" His voice was low. "Yeah, I made it seem like an accident…but it wasn't. I just wanted to cause pain, to make the Paladins feel what I'd felt…and so I took you. Do you know why, Bec?"
I could begin to guess, but it was too horrible to say aloud. My mouth dropped open into a gape of abject shock. Sometimes the truth was better left buried. I wished I'd never said anything, never questioned Griffin's motives.
Griffin's eyes flicked upwards and bored into mine.
"It was your father, Bec."
No, he couldn't possibly be the one…
"Aaron Carlyle was the one who killed my parents…"
No.
"Killed my sister…"
NO!
"Your father is a murderer."
"No!" This time it was a verbal cry as I lunged at Griffin. I wasn't mad at him, I didn't blame him…it was the same reason he'd hit him. There was so much anger inside me and I had to direct it somewhere. I didn't want to acknowledge the truth.
Griffin caught me by the wrists, preventing me from harming him. His expression was somewhere between impassiveness and pity.
"Accept it. You've been living a life of lies. I'm only letting you know the truth."
I struggled in his grasp, feeling weak as the tears welled in my eyes. Could I go home now, knowing what I knew? Could I ever love my dad the same way I had before?
"Let me go! I hate you! I hate you!"
I sounded like a child, but I no longer cared. I just wanted this to be a nightmare so I could wake up. Griffin frowned and released me and I stumbled backwards, pressing my face into my hands. I really wished he hadn't told me all of this. Who was the man I knew? He wasn't the same Aaron Carlyle who had killed Griffin's family.
Lance Jumped into the lair, a panicked look on his face as he immediately turned his attention on Griffin, who looked infuriated.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he fumed, starting towards Lance, "You could have brought the Paladins right to me…"
I smiled. That wasn't exactly true. Griffin appeared to have forgotten that I was a Shade. Lance and Griffin were both under my protection right now…as amusing as that idea may seem. Lance started towards Griffin, his eyes wide with horror.
"Alice isn't with you?"
Griffin averted his eyes. "They killed her."
Lance gripped his hair in his hands and muttered under his breath in a language I didn't understand. I guessed that he was swearing, and the look on his face turned from panicked to devastated.
"They're going to come after me next, Griffin. I hope you're happy."
Griffin shook his head. "Don't count on it, mate. I'm number one on the Most Wanted, remember? Not to mention the fact that I have a little leverage."
He jerked his head towards me and Lance's eyes narrowed as he glanced from me back to Griffin. Obviously, he knew that the Paladins hadn't just suddenly happened upon us. He knew I was linked to this and he turned back to Griffin with growing anger.
"O'Connor, who is she?"
Griffin, for once, looked like he didn't know what to say. He could lie about me…or he could tell the truth. Why is the truth always harder? I have to wonder about that. It's always a conflict between the right way and the easy way.
Lance's eyes were hard, a stark contrast to the easygoing young man I'd discovered him to be. Alice's death had made him like this. The truth hurts everyone, especially the liars. I wondered what Dad would say if he knew that I'd discovered what he was.
"She's Aaron Carlyle's daughter."
Lance's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot upwards.
"Are you freaking insane?" he demanded of Griffin. Although he was a more intimidating presence – he was around six feet tall – he was gentler by nature, so I couldn't imagine him doing anything like slamming Griffin into a wall. "Do you want to die, Griffin? You took a Paladin's kid…bloody hell. How long can you last before they find you?"
The smirk on Griffin's lips told me he was about to reveal my secret. Great, now even information that was mine didn't belong to me. I was beginning to feel as though I was a valuable object rather than an actual person.
"She's also a Shade."
By the way Lance's jaw dropped, he knew exactly what a Shade was. He glanced at me and then back at Griffin. Despite the grim events that had taken place, Lance seemed unable to stop himself from chuckling.
"Mate, you really know how to pick them, don't you?"
Something like hurt flashed through Griffin's eyes, but he quickly concealed it. He seemed to be all business as he paced back and forth. Lance and I both watched him, wondering what he was up to. He looked like he had a plan.
"She can protect us, Lance. She can hide us from the Paladins."
Okay, I'd had enough of being talked about like I wasn't there. I strode forward, my hands on my hips as I glowered at Griffin.
"Excuse me? Don't you think I have a say in all of this? What if I choose not to protect you, and rejoin the Paladins?"
Griffin's eyes glittered, and I should have known what his answer would be. When I had first met him, I had believed him to be a monster. Now I thought I still wasn't that far off. It was all a matter of perception. If I turned my back on Griffin, he would once again become the sinister young man who had abducted me.
Lance glanced concernedly from me to Griffin. I think he knew what Griffin was going to say because there was a troubled look in his dark eyes.
"If you're not with us, then you're against us. If you join the Paladins, Bec…then I'll have to kill you just like I would them."
