Do Unto Others… Do Unto Others…

That very same night, Erik and I sneaked into Teletubbie Land. We got into Tinky-Winkie, Dipsy, La-La, and Po's bedroom without a sound. By the time they woke up, it was too late. Within moments, Erik had them tied up against a pole. "They're all yours," Erik told me.

I stared at the Teletubbies, who were trying to get free. My anger grew as I remembered what these same freaks did to me not too long ago. Now, it was my turn to dish out the torture.

"Shut up, you fn idiots!" I screamed.

Immediately, the four Teletubbies stopped struggling to get out of their bonds and stared at me.

"You thought that you would have a little fun with me, did you?" I hissed. "Well, now it's my turn. For weeks, I've been seeing nearly everyone as one of your kind, and it's been driving me insane! You're notgoing to get away with what you've done to me!!"

With this, I grabbed four huge bars of soap and shoved one in each of their mouths. Then, I picked up a long hose. The Teletubbies' eyes widened with fright. I turned the water on full blast and shot it right at their faces. Then, when I turned the water off, I brought in a TV and put Sweeney Todd in the DVD player. I skipped to the song Johanna (the second one) where Sweeney is singing and slicing the throats of his victims at the same time. La-La threw up sometime during the song, and the others tried to look away (even though Erik made it so they couldn't). Next, I made the Teletubbies eat a mixture of cardboard, cabbage, and rotten bananas. I enjoyed seeing them hurl after they were forced to swallow it.

When I was through torturing them, I exclaimed, "See how it feels when someone tortures you? Now, will you promise NEVER to do what you did again?"

The four freaks nodded, quickly.

"Good. I'm done, Erik," I finally said, calmly.

Erik, who had been watching the scene the whole time, exclaimed, "All right. Let's go, then."

So we left, leaving the Teletubbies tied up for someone to find them the next day.