*This is a fun chapter, about Harry and Remy ramblings, and the strange stuff they get up to at hogwarts. some parts are vital to the story! read!
The bit about pocahontas is for my friend sal, who requested a minor character.
A/N: just to clear up any confusion, Remy does not actually do it with guys. she's thirteen. it's all pg rated, just kissing and making out. I may have implied more than that in the last chapter... but use your imaginations.
-And to a lovely anonymous reviewer I received a review from yesterday, if you can't think of anything constructive to say, don't say anything at all. and you have a sick imagination.
Enjoy!
Remy! I need a distraction! thought Harry to Remy during History of Magic.
"Huh?" said a startled Remy, who had been sleeping on her desk. She looked around and saw Hermione giving professor Binns, who was a ghost and the dull History of Magic teacher, her undivided attention, and scribbling down notes. Everyone else was either staring out the window or doodling on paper.
A distraction! thought Harry urgently.
Why? What type?"
Because I left my invisibility cloak at the mirror! When we heard filch I must have dropped it! I didn't remember til just now! Just do something! He sounded importunate.
Ok, Ok… silly boy, leaving your stuff around, she thought, grinning. A few seconds passed, then, without warning, Remy grabbed a rock out of her pocket and slingshot it at the glass window with a deafening smash. Everybody woke up with a start, and a few screams, and professor Binns looked up from the book he had been reading from slowly. Harry took the opportunity to run out of the room, as everyone's attention was on the window. Remy jumped up onto her desk dramatically.
"Professor! Someone just threw a rock in through the window!" she cried, jumping up and down. Everyone rushed noisily over to the window to look out the window onto the grounds, through the enormous hole the rock had made. Professor Binns spoke slowly.
"Not to worry, everyone, please calm down. Return to your seats… Miss Black please do not stand on the desks…"
"It's a conspiracy! They're attacking us from the outside!" she raved desperately.
"Miss Black, stop this madness, if you please, and return to your seat-"
"Oh, but you don't know, professor Binns? The ministry of magic has appointed a team of Muggle accountants to bring down Hogwarts! We're done for!" she said tragically, her arms flailing about.
The class was rolling around in their seats with laughter.
Hermione slapped a hand to her forehead.
"I knew Remy would go to the loony bin one of these days…"
"You may laugh now, but when accountants are swarming the school, asking you to add up numbers and all sorts of other crazy things… don't come running to me!" she announced madly, just as Harry ran back in, unnoticed. He stared oddly around the room, at Remy standing at full height on her desk, and at a hysterical class.
"Miss Black, kindly cease this madness or I will call someone of a higher authority!" said Binns in a wheezy voice.
"Sure thing, sir," she said, before sitting back down with everyone else, smirking.
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Harry was in the common room with Harry, Ron and Hermione, as Remy had a detention that day.
"I've got so much homework!" complained Hermione, throwing her books down on the table.
"How can you possibly have that much homework?" said Ron incredulously.
"All my teachers are giving us extra homework. I've got ancient runes, Muggle studies, Potions, transfiguration and Divination…"
"That's impossible! You're taking more subjects than it's logically possible! Look, you have ancient runes and potions on at the exact same time, then muggle studies at the same time as charms… it's just not-"
"Oh shut it Ronald! I told you, it's all been worked out with McGonagall!"
Ron and Hermione continued to bicker while Harry decided to go down and wait for them at Lunch. Slightly annoyed by them, he was on his way out to the portrait when Edward Beauregard, a fifth year boy, came bursting in, sopping wet and looking slightly humiliated.
"What happened to you?" asked Harry.
"Remy Black." He offered as an unadorned explanation.
"Oh. Don't worry, you probably just caught her in a bad mood," advised Harry. "Er- what did you do?"
"Just asked her out, because last night we met up and… well, when I asked her, she pushed me into the black lake for being 'too forward," he mumbled. "She said 'just because we had a one night stand, doesn't mean she'll race into something like that so soon.' Apparently I was pushy."
Harry shrugged as Edward wandered into the common room.
"She's beautiful when she's angry," he heard Edward mutter as he climbed through the portrait hole.
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At dinner, Harry and Remy came down ten minutes late, wearing giant smirks on their faces.
"What are you grinning at?" asked Ron.
"Oh, nothing," Remy said airily, as they sat down opposite Ron and Hermione.
"You've done something that will get you in to trouble, haven't you," Ron evaluated.
"You're absolutely right, Ron," said Harry, smiling and taking a piece of pie.
"That's a first," muttered Remy. "I'm just kidding!" she added at the look on Ron's face. Hermione was looking at her suspiciously.
"Really, you two, what have you done?"
"Technically, we haven't really done anything wrong," began Harry,
"Only we have done something. I'm sure you won't oppose when you hear it," finished Remy.
"Or see it," chortled Harry.
"But-" Hermione's sentence was cut tragically short, for Draco Malfoy had just walked in through the double doors, sporting brilliantly pink hair. He swaggered over to the Slytherin table not at all self-conscious, obviously misinterpreting the silence that had fallen over the great hall for one of awe due to his overwhelming presence. The Gryffindors began to snigger. Snape looked embarrassed, Lupin amused, and Dumbledore curious, but McGonagall was glaring straight at Harry and Remy. Everybody watched him as he took a seat between Crabbe and Goyle, who looked awkward. Nobody moved as he began helping himself to food, throwing wary glances at the rest of the room. He was apparently now conscious of everyone watching him and giggling. Pansy Parkinson tapped him on the shoulder nervously, and handed him her spoon to check his reflection in. he stared at the spoon, and as he did so, his eyes widened in horror.
"AAAHH!" he shrieked, jumping from his seat and throwing the spoon down on the table. Everyone had now erupted into their skilfully disguised laughter, except for a couple of Slytherins. Malfoy looked around the room in terror, before putting a hand over his head and sprinting back out the doors, his face as pink as his hair. Only did the laughter stop when Dumbledore signalled for silence.
"You – put – hair-dye – in – his – shampoo?" gasped Ron, who was finding it hard to contain himself.
"He does seem like the type who wants to be noticed," chortled Harry.
"We were just helping him out!" said Remy cheerfully. Hermione shook her head.
"You guys, that was really wrong of you. Malfoy may be a horrible person, but you shouldn't be so childish about how you retaliate!" reprimanded Hermione, but she, too, was trying to fight off a smile.
"Aahh. Revenge is beautiful in its own wonderful, cryptic way." Said Remy.
"Harry Potter and Remy Black," said a cold voice from behind them. Remy saw Ron looking over her and Harry's shoulders in horror. They turned around and saw McGonagall, looking down at them, her mouth in one hard line, and her nostrils flaring.
"Would you by any chance be able to explain to me, how Mr. Malfoy's hair could have possibly turned pink without him even knowing so himself?" she asked dryly.
"Everybody goes through a mid-life crisis, professor."
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Remy's visions continued, becoming more realistic and painful with each one. She wished she knew what the trigger was. Why were they so bad now? They hardly ever bothered her in the holidays before Harry and Ron came to stay… now they were worse than ever. She decided to climb out of bed one night after a vision, as she wasn't tired, and time spent trying to sink into unconsciousness was just time her mind spent inventing strange, new visions for her to endure.
Putting on a jumper and grabbing her wand, Remy tip-toed out the door and down the stairs, into the common room, then glided through the fat lady's portrait. She was out. Now where would she go? She could go for a walk in the grounds. Remembering Sirius Black, she shuddered and hastily reconsidered her decision.
-Remy froze. She felt as if her heart would leap out of her chest, and her entire body went numb. A pair of bright, gleaming eyes were staring out at her through the darkness of the seventh floor corridor. Fixed on her. Watching. She couldn't move- she was completely bound by fear. The eyes moved closer and more to the left, and as they did so, Remy saw a the dark shape of an enormous black dog move with it.
"Lumos!" Remy hissed, grabbing her wand hastily- but when the light shone on the place the eyes had been, there was nothing there.
Then, she heard small footsteps to her right- her hand moved rapidly to the noise, and she was met with a shadow much taller than the last, with gleaming, blue eyes-
"AAHHH!" It was not just Remy who had screamed. The figure had screamed too, and their mingled screams had almost given Remy heart failure. This was until she realised it was just a Ravenclaw girl with short blonde hair, freckles and green-blue eyes, standing there, smiling as if Remy had just wished her a Merry Christmas.
"You scared the living crap out of me!" gasped Remy, clutching her chest.
"Hello," said the girl.
"Er- hi," Remy said, slightly creeped out. "What are you doing up here? You're in Ravenclaw," she pointed out, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm looking for Harry Potter," she said, smiling brightly.
"Like everyone else in the northern hemisphere, he's in bed. You know, asleep?" Remy explained slowly.
The girl's face fell.
"Dammit… my plans, ruined again!" she said maniacally, throwing her hands up in the air and turning around.
"Um, kid, are you ok? I mean, you know, mentally? Do you need help? Because I know this great place for people just like you- it's called St. Mungo's," said Remy sardonically.
But the girl was walking away backwards, her hands raised in anguish like an actor in a melodrama.
"Noo!!!! I'll be ready next time…. yes, next time…" she muttered, backing away.
"What's your name?" Remy asked.
"I am Pocahontas!" She announced, before disappearing into the darkness once more
"Nice to…meet you?" said Remy, staring after her, slightly confused. "Man there are some weirdos around here… Snape, Dumbledore, Pocahontas… Ron. All mental," she thought. Remy decided she didn't want to know what other weirdos could be lurking around, so she went back to bed, very unnerved, preparing for her usual sleeping pattern: go to sleep, have a vision, wake up. and so it went on.
Next chapter in a minute!
