Life after Loss
Chapter 7: Sixteen
I wake up and know that today is my sixteenth birthday. I know it's nothing special. The only thing that happens this year is that I get to choose the rest of my life, I become an adult. But I also know that Tobias is going to try his hardest to make me change my mind on how I feel about my birthday. He's going to make me like my birthday again, or he's going to attempt to do that. I promised him he could get me one present but I know he's going to do more than that. I know others are probably going to help him as well.
I climb out of bed and make my way to my en-suite. I shower, wash and brush my teeth before walking back into my room.
I get dressed into some black underwear, and a black bra, black leggings with a dark red crop top that hangs off one shoulder, showing off my tattoo.
I dry my hair and style it into a side fishtail braid.
I put on minimal make-up which includes foundation, eyeliner and mascara.
I spray on some deodorant and perfume.
I put on my combat boots.
I put on my black leather jacket.
I leave the room, closing the door behind me.
I walk into the kitchen to find Hana and Uriah making pancakes and laughing at whatever the other said or done. I sit at the table and find an envelope with my name on it. But not my Dauntless name, my real name. Beatrice Grace Prior.
No one knew my middle name was Grace, other than my parents.
I feel tears form in my eyes and I see Hana turn to me in the corner of my eye.
"Hey, your mum wanted me to give it to you when you turned sixteen. But I understand if you don't want to read it yet." She tells me, I nod.
I hear a knock on the door and decide to go and get it myself.
I open it and find Tobias, Zeke and Shauna standing outside the door.
"Hey guys." I say, wiping my eyes as I let them in. Thanking myself for putting waterproof eye make-up on.
"Are you okay?" Tobias asks as I shut the door.
I nod and he wraps his arms around me. I lean into him.
"Happy birthday." He whispers.
I smile slightly and pull away, taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen to find Hana and Uriah smiling as they look at a small piece of white card. Hana has tears in her eyes and Uriah screams in excitement as he gives Zeke a brotherly hug and hugs Shauna as well.
"What's going on?" I ask.
They turn to Tobias and I, all smiling.
"I'm pregnant." Shauna answers and I smile.
"Congratulations." I reply, hugging my adoptive brother and sister-in-law.
"Thanks. Happy birthday, Tris." Zeke says.
We sit down and eat breakfast together, the letter staring me in the face the entire time.
We find out that Shauna is eight weeks along in her pregnancy, but they didn't find out until a week ago as she only started getting symptoms then.
We talk about other things as well.
When breakfast is over I take the letter into my room and open my closet, pulling out the box of things from my parents. I put it in there and move the box back into my closet.
When I stand I find Tobias, entering my room.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Do you want to go out?"
"Sure."
He takes my hand and leads me out of the apartment.
It isn't long before we find ourselves on our way down a familiar path to our spot in the Chasm.
We sit on the ledge, next to each other, watching the waves crash against the rocks, occasionally getting sprayed by stray water.
"So, you agreed to one present from me. Here." He hands me a small square box which is wrapped in black wrapping paper.
I take it and unwrap it, finding a black box. I lift the lid on the box to find a gold key with 'T+T=Forever' engraved on it in a swirly font.
"It's a key to my apartment. So you can come whenever you want, no matter what time it is, no matter what you need, I'll be here. For you. Also, I thought I'd get a key ready for when you move in after initiation, so, here it is. Happy birthday." He explains.
"Thank you. I love it." I say before kissing him sweetly.
We sit there, for a while, in silence, just watching the waves.
"How're you liking your birthday so far?"
"Well, I got a letter from my parents that they wanted Hana to give me when I turned sixteen, I haven't read it yet because I haven't read any of the letters they have written me. I found out I'm kinda gonna be an aunt. You gave me an amazing birthday present. I'm spending the day with you. So, yeah, it's okay. But I still don't like my birthday."
"Why haven't you read any of your parents' letters? There could be important things in there."
"I would, but I'm scared of what they will say. I'm scared that it will bring back too many memories and I won't be able to handle it. I'm just, scared."
"Why don't I read them with you? So you're not alone. You don't have to do things on your own, Tris."
"You'd really do that?"
"I would do anything for you, Tris. We can read one a day, together, until we find out the truth. We can do it however you want. We'll do it together though."
"Okay. Thank you, for everything."
"It's all right. I love you."
"I love you, too."
We kiss, passionately, until we need to pull away for air.
"Can we go and read one?" I ask.
"Of course. Anything you want."
We stand and head back to the apartment.
We enter my room, shut the door and I get the box out of the closet.
I grab the pile of letters addressed to me and notice there are numbers in the corner of the envelopes, probably telling me in which order I have to read them.
I take out the first one and open it, pulling out the letter and I read it. Tobias sitting next to me the entire time.
Dear Beatrice,
You should know that your father and I love you and your brother more than anything in the world, and that is why we are trying our hardest to keep you both safe. We will continue to do so until the end, which we fear is coming soon.
I know that you're only reading this because we are gone, but I promise we will look over you for the rest of your lives. We will always love you, no matter what.
I know you probably want to know the truth about what happened the night we died, and we're going to tell you. Now, we are going to start at the beginning.
I am from outside the fence, from a different city. Yes, there are more cities like this one, and many that are different. My city failed and many people died. I managed to escape, though, and eventually I found myself in a place called the Bureau of Genetic Welfare. Which is kind of the head of everything going on in the country.
Terrible things were happening inside our city, the one you live in. Divergents were being killed only because they are different. We had to send someone in so we could help them. They sent me.
They put me in Dauntless because I had a tattoo and it seemed to fit me the most. I made great friends, Hana, Bud, Tori, Harrison, etc. A year later was the choosing ceremony and I had already fallen for your father, and your father for I, as we had met in school and became lovers. I was meant to choose Erudite, so I could do my job in the faction that is causing the trouble. But Andrew told me things about Jeanine Matthews, who he used to be good friends with, and others in Erudite.
So we chose Abnegation instead, I was still able to do my job from there.
But the leader of the Bureau, David is his name, he was angry. He always had a crush on me and hated the fact that I changed our plans because I was in love with someone else. He was jealous. Angry. Annoyed.
He started threatening us as soon as we moved to Abnegation. We knew we were going to be killed at some point.
When I found out I was pregnant with Caleb I was beyond terrified of losing him, or of leaving him. But nothing happened. We were safe. Two years later I was pregnant with you and was terrified of losing you, or leaving you and Caleb. But nothing happened for years. We still got threats, sure.
I'm sorry that we aren't here for you anymore, but we will always be watching you, from above. We will always love you.
I hope that you go on to have a bright future full of happiness and love. You are the most amazing daughter I could have ever asked for.
Just be careful. He may be after you as well.
Love,
Mum and Dad xxx
I sit there, on the floor. Crying into Tobias' chest.
I know the truth. Or some of it.
He may be after me as well.
"Everything's going to be okay." Tobias whispers to me.
I just cry.
Hey Ravens, how are you?
I will update as soon as I can.
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