Title: Finding Faith
Chapter: 7 - Consequences
Author: Jo Soulliere
Content/Pairing: Buffy/Faith (Various others possibly)
Spoilers: Some conversation/scenes from the episode "Dirty Girls" Season 7
Author's Note:
Now, On with the show:
Previously:
"If we make it back..." She started to say, then stopped. She knew what she wanted to say, but was afraid to say it. She didn't know how the younger girl would respond. " If we make it back, will you stay with me?" she finally said as she looked away from Faith. "Here, in my room, I mean..."
"When
we make it back." Faith said gently cupping Buffy's cheek,
turning her face to look at her again. "I'll stay wherever you
want me to stay."
It
was dark and chilly outside as Buffy walked alone down a desolate
street. She wasn't really patrolling. She'd had enough fighting
for one night. Instead, her thoughts kept replaying everything that
had happened earlier that night. Right now, she wanted to be alone. I
did something wrong... If only I had done something differently,
maybe things would have turned out better. Xander wouldn't be in
the hospital... Molly and Chao-ahn wouldn't have... Tears
flowed down the Slayers cheeks. How could I have done something so
careless? Maybe I should have listened to Giles... and the others.
How I can I ask them to follow me into something else, after this...
Buffy left the lights of the street and wandered into the darkness of a park, looking around she walked over to a merry-go-round and sat on the edge of it, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands as she cried. There was a familiar buzzing in the back of the blondes mind, it wasn't overwhelming. She was a little surprised that she noticed it at all in her current state-of-mind, that's how faint it was at the moment. She sat waiting, she knew the buzzing would become more intense. There was only one person that could cause such a feeling in her.
She didn't have to wait long before Faith walked up and stopped quietly in front of her. She just stood there looking down at the blonde slayer, wishing she knew what to say or do. She lifted a hand and gently ran her fingers through Buffy's hair, as she sat down beside her on the merry-go-round.
Buffy didn't look up at her. "Why are you following me?" she mumbled into her hands.
"I was concerned about you, B. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" Faith frowned.
"You followed me, because you feel obligated?" Buffy asked, looking up into the dark slayers eyes.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Faith drew in a breath and let it out in a deep sigh. I will not let her shut down, and push me away, no matter what she says... I can do this... I won't get angry. Faith thought to herself.
"Come to say I told you so? Tell me how you would have done things differently?" Buffy said with a snide tone in her voice.
"Just stop with the bullshit, Buffy. Every time something goes wrong, you push away everyone that cares about you. You say mean and hurtful things, and twist what they say... Don't do this to me again. You've done it before, and, frankly I'm not here for head games." Faith said, deciding to call her on it.
Buffy opened her mouth to say something, and after a few moments shut it again. "Buffy, talk to me. Tell me what's going on." the younger girl said.
Buffy drew in a deep breath. "You're right, and I'm sorry. I do push away, and I do say hurtful things. But I don't know what else to do. Faith, it hurts too much to get close. When I make a decision and it turns out badly..." She looked deeply into Faith's eyes. "How do I go back in there, and ask them to follow me again? To trust me? How can I, when I can't promise them that more of them won't end up like Molly, or Chao-ahn... or even Xander?"
Faith looked at her for a moment. "You're their leader, B. It isn't easy, and God knows I don't envy you that position. But you definitely won't make anything better by building walls and pushing everyone out. " She positioned herself so that her right leg was wrapped around behind Buffy, and slipped her arms around her, pulling the blonde closer to her. "Look, what happened back there, it wasn't your fault. I know that's what you're thinking."
"I'm responsible for their deaths." Buffy said flatly. "If I had listened to everyone before we left..."
"It probably would have happened exactly the same way." Faith cut her off. "Buffy, you don't have the blood of a human on your hands. Not one of those girls death is your fault. It's Caleb, and those bringers. It's the first. You're doing you're job, and so are the potentials, trying to get rid of the evil. Buffy..." Faith closed her eyes, and let out another sigh. "I have the blood of humans on my hands, and I can never do enough to make up for that. Willow, has the blood of a human on her hands. Those people we killed with our own hands... You are not responsible, you aren't the one killing those girls. You could never do that. You're not like us."
"But, they wouldn't be dead if I hadn't insisted on charging in there." Buffy countered her argument. "I can't go back in there..."
"And like I said, no matter when we went in, someone probably would have died, regardless." Faith pressed a kiss to Buffy's forehead. "You'll walk back in there, and you'll hold your head up high. And we'll find out more about what we're dealing with. We'll make a new plan, and we'll pay those bastard's back for each and every life they have taken, and probably will take before it's over."
"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I want to be in charge anymore." Buffy responded quietly.
"That's your fear, and your grief talking, B. You'll go in there, and get it done. And I'll be right beside you, supporting you."
Buffy looked up smiling sadly. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here, Faith." She leaned forward placing a tender kiss on the brunettes lips.
Faith smiled. "Probably push away everyone you love, and make them hate your guts before it's all over." she said playfully.
The blonde nudged her. "They probably will anyway, at least the potentials."
Faith tightened her hold on Buffy, holding her firmly against her body. "We should probably head back and get some rest."
Buffy grinned at Faith mischievously.
"What?" The dark slayer asked, becoming a little self-conscious.
"You just can't wait to get me into bed, can you?" Buffy said, leaning forward and kissing Faith teasingly.
"Damn, you've figured me out." Faith replied chuckling, after she pulled away from the kiss.
It was dark, and quiet in the vineyard. Too quiet. There was no sign of the bringers that Buffy and Faith had seen on their previous trip. Everyone looked around nervously. The potentials were obviously anxious, but for different reasons. Some wanted to get the battle started, while other's just wanted to turn around and run.
"Guard the door. I don't want anything getting in behind us. My team goes in first, we check the place out. You guys are our safety-net." Buffy heard herself say.
"What's the signal?" Xander asked.
Lots and lots of yelling. Buffy thought.
She descended into the darkness of the wine cellar, followed by Spike, Molly, Kennedy, Rona, and Chao-Ahn.
Buffy could hear the potentials talking behind her. "What is this place?" Molly asked.
Buffy knew that her responses were in there somewhere, but she couldn't remember having said them. Not this time.
"An evil Vineyard, huh?" she heard Kennedy say.
What's going on? Buffy thought to herself. Why does this feel more like I'm watching a movie than actually participating? She looked around the dark cellar, searching the shadows.
"Bringers are here somewhere." she said. God, everyone's going to die, she thought. "Need to find out where."
"Shouldn't be too hard." She heard Spikes voice float in from somewhere.
Buffy turned to look at the girls who were following her. There was a loud commotion behind her, she turned to look. The girls were fighting the bringers, they weren't doing too badly. They were definitely capable of holding their own. Buffy's brow furrowed, she tried to move forward, advancing on a bringer. She could hardly move, it felt as though she were walking through tar. Her movements were lazy and strained. The more effort she put into it, the more difficult it became. Finally she reached the bringer. He swiped at her with his knife, she dodged and tried to hit him. Suddenly he wasn't there anymore. He was lying on the floor.
"Well, now, you girls are just burning with righteousness, aren't you? Problem is, you think you're blazing like suns, when really you're burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness. You having fun? Now, I hope my boys haven't worn you out too much - I need you fit for when I purify you." She heard an unfamiliar male voice say from somewhere in the room. She turned back to look at the other girls. The bringers had disengaged from the potentials. The girls stood in the middle of the room.
"Kennedy!" She heard Rona scream, and run toward the eldest potential.
This isn't supposed to happen... Buffy thought to herself. She saw Caleb in the center of the room, he had Rona by the arm.
"Miss, I do believe you have your own problems you should be worrying about." Caleb said to the young potential. There was a sickening crack, the sound of bone being broken. Rona was on the floor in agony.
Spike was vamped out, he charged Caleb. The preacher knocked him away with ease. Buffy saw Spike try to stand, but it was too late. Caleb had him, he head-butted him, then threw him across the room into some wine barrels.
There was an ocean of wine pouring from the barrels. Thick, and red. Buffy felt as though she were going to vomit. So much blood, she thought. ...Wait, it's wine, it's not blood. She tried to tell herself.
She looked up in time to see Caleb dropping Chao-Ahn's lifeless body to the ground. She heard Molly scream somewhere in the background.
Out of no where, Caleb was in front of her, he hit her, knocking her across the room. She felt pain, and then nothing. She knew that she had fallen unconscious but somehow she could still see what was happening. She saw Faith charge Caleb. "Noooo!" she tried to yell. She was worried what he might do to the younger slayer. Her voice wouldn't cooperate. Buffy watched as the preacher effortlessly twisted Faith's body into various positions, like a human pretzel. She could see the pain on Faith's face. "Well, you're the other one, aren't you. Your Cain to her Abel." She heard Caleb say to Faith.
"I never was much for the good book." Faith said through gritted teeth.
"Oh, it has it's moments." Caleb said as he smacked Faith hard, knocking her across the room into some wine barrels.
Xander was beside Buffy now, trying to help her up. She looked at the ground, then stood, and when she looked back toward Xander, she saw that Caleb had him trapped. "You're the one who see's everything, aren't you?" she heard him say. "Well let's see what we can't do about that."
"Xander!" She yelled as she saw Caleb pull his had back and suddenly sink his thumb deep into Xander's eye. She saw the blood flowing from Xander's wound.
"Get out of here, Everyone, get out!" She tried to yell, but her voice wouldn't come. She turned to try to run. Molly was standing in front of her, a look of surprise, and fear, and pain on her face. Buffy looked down. Her hands were covered in blood. She let go of the knife that was protruding from Molly's stomach. Oh my god... what have I done?
Buffy shook her head slowly, tears spilling down her cheeks as she slowly backed away, as Molly crumpled to a heap on the floor in front of her. I didn't do it, I didn't... I didn't know...
Faith opened her eyes, slightly disoriented. The room was dark and it took her a moment to figure out where she was, and what was happening. "I didn't do it, I didn't... I didn't know..." she heard Buffy whimpering beside her. She rolled over on the bed, where she lay beside her girlfriend. Buffy had asked her to stay with her if they made it back, and so she had.
Faith's brow furrowed, as she leaned over Buffy. "B..." she whispered, laying a hand on the sleeping girls shoulder, gently shaking her. "Buffy..." She said a little more loudly. She could feel the blonde slayer trembling beneath her hand.
Buffy opened her eyes, tears streaming down her face. "Faith..." she said in a choked voice, as she sat up, curling herself up, and leaning into Faith.
"Shh, it's okay, don't cry." Faith said as she slipped her arms around Buffy. "It's okay. You're safe. I'm here." She gently ran her fingers through the blondes hair, as she slowly rocked her back and forth. She pressed her lips to Buffy's forehead as the older girl clung to her. "It was just a bad dream." She said quietly.
Buffy sat there, holding onto Faith, sobbing on the younger girls shoulder. For a long time Faith just sat there holding her, whispering comforting words in her ear, gently rocking her back and forth. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked finally, after Buffy's tears had subsided.
"No, not really." Buffy said quietly. "It was just a nightmare... about what happened earlier." She buried her face in Faith's shoulder.
Faith lowered her head, placing kisses on Buffy's forehead. "Okay, but if you decide you want to... I'm here, B." she said softly. Buffy lifted her head, pressing her lips to Faith's. Faith closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She felt Buffy slip her arms around her neck, pulling her closer. She tightened her own grip around the blondes waist.
She felt Buffy pressing against her, pushing her backward onto her back. She could feel her skin tingling, not just from the nearness of Buffy, but from her desire. Willingly she let Buffy guide her down onto the bed. The senior slayer leaned over her, looking down at her, her blonde hair framing her face. Faith reached up, gently tucking the hair behind Buffy's ears. Buffy looked longingly into her eyes. "Tell me you love me." she said quietly.
Faith's breath caught in her throat. And she wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to run, but knew she couldn't. "B..." she said quietly then stopped, trying to think of something to say.
"You don't have to mean it, right now." Buffy said, with a pleading look on her face. "I just need to hear you say it..." She looked at Faith for a second, then added in a whisper. "Please."
Faith lay there, looking up into Buffy's eyes. She let out the breath that she had been holding. She lifted her hand to Buffy's face and gently cupped her cheek, softly caressing it with her thumb. "I love you, Buffy." She whispered.
Buffy leaned down, capturing Faith's lips again, kissing her passionately and deeply. Slowly she slipped her hand under Faith's tank top, letting her hand caress the younger girls stomach. Faith tightened her arms around Buffy, slipping her hands under the blondes shirt as she did, letting her hands slide up the skin of Buffy's back. She couldn't take it anymore, she needed more contact, without all the barriers of clothes. She could feel Buffy's finger tips lightly brush over the under side of her breasts. She arched her body into the blondes touch, moaning softly.
They lay there kissing for a long while, their tongues dancing back and forth, wrestling sensuously. At times, it was furious and hungry, at other's it was slow and passionate.
You may have asked me to say it, But... I really do love you. Faith thought to herself. She wasn't ready to admit it to Buffy yet. But she knew deep down, that her blonde counterpart already knew.
Buffy pulled away from Faith, looking into her eyes. "Faith..." She whispered softly, as she let her hand trail slowly down Faith's thigh, and slipped it under the material of the brunette's boxers, running her finger tips lightly along the inside of her thigh.
Faith bit her bottom lip. "Hmm?" she had to force out.
Buffy lowered her lips to Faith's neck softly sucking the skin that she came into contact with. Slowly she worked her way up Faith's neck, then she stopped and whispered in the dark slayers ear. "I want you..."
A/N: Okay, I realize some of you will probably hate me for ending this right there, but... I don't really want to get too descriptive with the love making, I want it to be at least somewhat younger person friendly.
