Detox?! The next day
I tried to avoid the mayors today I was pretty close I laid low on physical exercise but major Damon came with major John to the girls dorm for a room check later. While he was talking and looking I couldn't keep myself from shaking due to the lack of drugs in my system. I saw that major Damon saw it too. Damn it, but luckily he didn't say something about it. Although I'm afraid I'm going to have trouble with it because I will probably get it in physical exercise too. I feel weak now, I didn't sleep last night and I used a lot of my strength the last couple days.
So the next day I barely made it through school I was happy when it was over. Too bad we had physical exercise. We stood in line and Kowalski stood next to me, "you're shaking in fear aren't you hot stuff" he teased. "You wish" I grinned. "Cadet Atwood cadet Kowalski give me 10" major Stefan said "no talking in line". I did the pushups but it was almost too much I was shaking all over. "Ok you will all complete fifteen laps afterwards the last five boys and two girls get a nice punishment" major Stefan smirked so he's in charge today I guess. Damn I thought I will not make it for fifteen laps I'm going to be with the last girls.
After five laps I was shaking and I didn't feel good at all, my heartbeat was razing and I got dizzy. I started to tremble while my watch started to buzz and I knew both the majors felt it too. But I wouldn't gave in I would keep running till they pulled me out I'm no quitter. The problem was I was across the field from where they stood. I knew I wouldn't make it till there. Gladly I saw major Damon run in my direction. I will not give up I thought I'll keep running. My vision became blurry and I stumbled and fell but got up again. I ran further but then felt two arms confiscating my body.
"Come stop running", he said, "you had enough". He told me to sit down, I had no strength to fight him so I just collapsed on the ground. He gave me some water and checked my pulse. "Cadet talk to me" he said "what do you feel". "Dizzy" I said. I wouldn't tell him I was exhausted. I remarked that I was still shaking. "Ok I'll bring you to the doctor" he said. I didn't protest I knew I needed a doctor at this point. He helped me off the ground and asked me if I could walk. "Yeah I can" I said but even when he helped me I almost fell. My legs and my body were shaking uncontrolled and I couldn't walk anymore. "Cadet I'm going to carry you alright I want you to the doctor ASAP". I couldn't protest so he carried me bridal style off the field to the infirmary. Although I didn't protest when he carried me I felt really uncomfortable and I know he felt it too, I can't stop it, it's just something my body does it's a reflex.
I saw some people look damn there goes my reputation I'll settle that soon I thought. We walked passed major Stefan and major Frank who just arrived. "Be strong cadet" major Stefan said. "Those trips to the infirmary have to stop cadet, you know" major Damon said with a smile. I just smiled back, a very tiny smile.
An hour later I lay on a hospital bed in the infirmary while I was hooked on a heart machine and got extra oxygen to breath better. The doctor said I was probably in detox and I needed medication for that also I had too much physical activity the last days. That was probably true because of my smartass I had a lot of extra physical drill, a lot more than all the other kids. Major Damon came in and brought me dinner. I looked away from him full of shame he saw me once again at my weakest moment. He came sitting on my bed and I couldn't help but scoot away a bit.
"You know you're one screwed up kid" he said to me, "but it will all going to be alright". "We're going to fix you". "You know there comes a time you're going to love your life again". "I promise you". "How are you so certain about that" I asked him but I couldn't place anger/hate or annoyance in my voice. "Because I've been there". "I know you're a though one and I know you have to be strong to survive here". "But so you know if you ever wanted to talk I'm here, major Stefan is here". "Everyone is here for you to get better and make your stay as easy as possible". "I Know we act though and yeah we give you all a hard time but were also capable of listening and talking just so you know". "So I'll let you eat and sleep and I will check up on you later, o and no physical exercise tomorrow for you". "Thank you" I whispered when he left. I saw him smile "you're welcome".
Major Damon's POV:
She let her guard down not much but she couldn't fight, she was to weak for it. And she actually said thank you, real rebels don't say thank you. They don't care. She acts that she doesn't care but that is something else. I'm concerned for her health and for her addiction. But I think it will go better once she trusts me more, I'll got a first glimpse of the real Tess. I had it a few days ago when I saw her scars but now I also saw it in her behavior.
MY POV:
I didn't sleep that night I was tossing and turning and also sweating the doctor gave me something for the shaking and I was restless. So when the morning fell I was more tired than before. The doctor checked again and said "I'm going to keep you here today, you'll try to sleep you had a restless night I heard". "I'll ask for your breakfast afterwards you can sleep". Major Stefan came with my food, "how are you doing cadet?". " I'm doing fine" I lied. He looked at me very sharply. "Alright then get your rest" he said, "and enjoy your breakfast", "yes sir" I replied.
Major Stefan's POV:
I asked the doctor how she was doing, she answered "not really good she had a restless night, tossing, turning, sweating, shaking". "I'll keep her at least today maybe she can go tomorrow". "But she is still pretty weak". "Alright thank you" I said to the doctor. "Oh major" the doctor said "I want to let a therapist talk to her about hearth things, possible abuse all sorts of stuff". "Could you ask if Major Damon will be there, someone has to stay in the room". "Sure I'll ask". So I blogged everything back to my brother, he agreed to be there.
MY POV:
I finally slept for a few hours. Then I was suddenly awoken by two hands who softly touched my shoulder, I stiffened and impulsive slipped away with fear in my eyes. It was major Damon, "right no touching" he said, "but you wouldn't wake up otherwise I've been calling your name for the last two minutes". I was still dazed and confused "alright we give you a minute to wake up, don't fall asleep again you can sleep later alright". I nodded. Ok what does he want and who is the other guy I never seen him before ok don't act scared act tough I thought to myself. I lay on the bed trying to calm myself down I saw my heartbeat was slowly going down. Damn he must have seen my heartbeat raise when he woke me, shit.
They came back inside, "cadet" the major said "this is mister Yung, mister Yung is a therapist at our camp group, the doctor ordered him for you to see". "I don't need a therapist" I said. "Alright cadet, Atwood is your name right", I nodded. "Well everything you say in here stays between the three of us". "Only with your permission we talk about it with other people". "There's nothing to talk about" I said. I felt my tough act was fading and that I was shaking once more. "Well first the doctor is very concerned about your drug problem specially in your condition". "Who says I have a problem" I replied, "well they found drugs in your dorm room which belonged to you, you confessed at that", "yeah so what" I said.
"And they found traces of needles in your armpits". "So maybe that is something else" I said, "like from what" the doctor answered. "Maybe my heart shots" I said. "Well that's something I could think about but they are not supposed to be placed there". "And I know no doctor would ever do that". "So what" I nagged at him "would it be your problem if I used drugs". "No but it is a problem for your health and therefore it is our problem".
"You got detox symptoms". "So why bug me with it, it's pretty obvious I use drugs, you know it, I know it so why do you keep questioning me about it". "Because I want you to say it out loud". "Admit to the fact", "what's the point". "But if it makes you happy I'll say it out loud". "Yes I use drugs and yes it's not good for my health but you know what smoking isn't good either, walking under a bus is also not good". "So I still don't see the problem". "Alright that's how you feel". "So you made your first step admitting you have a problem". "I didn't say I had a problem I only said that I use drugs". "I don't think that is a big deal". "So why are you using drugs then" he asked. "None of your freaking business".
" Are we done?". "No we are not", "freaking get lost I don't want to talk, let me sleep". "Go away". "No cadet", major Damon said something for the first in a very long time. "Then I'll go away myself", I pulled the needles out of my arms and tried to get up from the bed, too bad major pain in the ass Damon stopped me. The doctor came in, "oh I lost her pulse", "that's because she pulled the needles out". "Alright I have to fix this" the doctor said. "No let me go" I struggled in major Damon's grip but he was to strong and I was too weak at this point. But I wouldn't stop. "Cadet stop it else I have to call out other methods". "Bring it on I grinned". "I don't want to but there's a way I know it will make you stop". "Like�" "threatening to sedate you", I instantly froze and he slowly let go of me.
"Now let the doctor hook you to the machine again", he said. I didn't say anything anymore. I felt defeated. Hell if he noticed it. I'll let the doctor hook me up to the machine again and lay down flat, not saying anything and closing my eyes. I heard major Damon tell the therapist he should come back later. "Get some sleep" major Damon told me I ignored him. I felt defeated, he knows my weakness he knows how to let me do everything he wants. Damn. But I won't let it beat me I thought while I cried my eyes out, hoping nobody saw me.
Major Damon's POV:
I knew for myself how hard it is to admit you have a problem. This one on the other hand is stubborn. But how stubborn she is I gained more and more information. At this point I was sure I could get through to her. It would take a while but I was determined. I knew her weakness she was terrified of being unconscious. The word sedate was like a magical word. I knew I couldn't make misuse out of it but I found it handy in crisis situations. And therefore I made myself a promise only to use it for that.
