I'm adding some questions and whatnot since over time people have sent in less and less stuff over the course of each interview story session. They've either grown bored of it or don't care for it any longer. Whatever happened, I'll try filling in the blanks to keep whomever still cares about the Scumbag Interviews entertained.* Also, I'm still going to reupload the deleted scumbag story. I had to take it out because I had to edit it because of how it was written. I had gotten VERY lazy after a few chapters and started writing everything in a script like way instead of proper dialogue.
Also if anybody (who remembers or gives a damn) wants to make the whole "Jason Todd was Scumbag Lee the whole time" canon, let me know as I'm curious about that. If you don't remember or care, then I'll leave that plot twist alone. And no, I didn't create that. A guest did. Anyways, if the majority want this to be canon, let me know so we can have regular Lee and scumbag Lee/Jason Todd. The only reason I took it out of the story canon is because a people hated the twist. Yet when I announced it wasn't, people complained. So which is it? You want it or not? Since most of my readers are guests, I'm not doing a poll. Just mention if you want it or not. If not enough people vote or care, I'll add it in myself.
Please add Waldorf and Statler From the Muppets to this story
This is suppose to be just Telltale choice based game characters. Then again we've had characters from other franchises like Ellie from The Last of Us, the hyenas from Lion King and we briefly had Max and Chloe from Life is Strange. So it wouldn't be fair if I said no and I let those other characters in. Okay then. The answer is yes. You didn't have to ask me though. People just throw in random people (like Ellie) all the time. At the same time, thank you for asking as that's the first time that's happened. lol
Here's to Clementine for living as long as she did! *holds up a cup of water*
"Water really?" said Bonnie staring down at her cup. "Why not wine or champagne? Why water?"
Our budget got cut off because someone decided to rent the most expensive yacht in existence coupled by equally expensive seafood from all over the world flown first class.
"Aren't you rich?" Lois looked at Clementine who was rubbing the back of her head.
"I didn't want to spend my own money," she grumbled.
"How do you know it was her?" asked a suspicious Jane.
"She's the only one with expensive tastes that I know."
"Besides you," said Violet. "Weren't your parents stupid rich?"
"Well y-yeah but uh you see...next question!"
Anyways, so ya all get water and crackers whenever you're here. So a toast to Clem for outlasting you all!
"We've been alive just as long as she has," pointed out Violet. "Why don't we get a toast?"
That's easy. It's because Clementine has been around since episode one and you all are relatively new.
"That's being biased," said Ruby.
Welcome to TWD fandom where we're all biased AF.
Nate, who's surprisingly sober for once, kept looking around his surroundings in extreme paranoia that was making Lee really annoyed as hell and decided to ask what the fuck was wrong with him.
So he bitch-slapped him and asked, "The hell you doing boy? Expecting a date with a psycho or something?" Did this scumbag forgot about last chapter guest's threat to Nate or something?
Possibly.
"Hey idiots, how was your punishments- What the hell?" The guest tilted their head at carver's and troy's petrified looks, only remembering Papa Bear's 'special treatment' they received constantly almost every day.
"Don't mind them, they're probably just upset that they can't masturbate or look at porn anymore." Doug spoke as both men glared at him at the mention to one of their extreme punishments.
"I feel sorry for them," Clementine then laughed. "Yeah right! Like I'd ever feel sorry for those bozos!"
Hey Alvin, I snitched on you to Jigsaw that you were a full-time pimp last year and he'll come for you after he's preparing a game for Doug. :)
"Just great!" Alvin threw up his hands. "I guess I'd better not let him catch me."
Did you want him to at first?
"You know what I meant," Alvin rolled his eyes.
Lee, clem, Gabe and Javier what do you think of Doug making you his bitches
"Don't remind me," Lee groaned as he rubbed his jaw. "I didn't think Doug was that strong. I'm still feeling that shit."
"I hope I get a sneak peek at the misery he goes through," Clementine grumbled as she looked behind her back as they continued to travel into the woods. "Too bad we're on this stupid island with no clue where anyone is."
"I'll kill that bastard!" said Javier as he killed a walker with a rusty knife he found in the forest. "Nobody puts their hands on my family, ever."
"Didn't think he could move like that," said Gabe.
With Carver, Arvo, the stranger, the , larry and lily they were locking themselves in a random cabin. Arvo decided to look around before noticing a warm fire. Stepping towards it he heard some heavy breathing, and turned and stared into the eyes of Micheal Myers. Arvo yelled something in Russian before the knife was buried in his neck. Myers then threw the body out the window and silently watched the remaining people unnoticed
Meanwhile Carver and Lilly were pushing a dresser in front of the door while Larry was keeping watch from the window. The Stranger, who we're going to call Thomas, was in the kitchen looking for weapons. So far only a couple of walkers were spotted, but they were minding their own business at the moment. As long as they didn't come beating at the door, they could stay out in the woods as long as they wanted to. After positioning the dresser, Lilly searched around for something to put in front of the windows. As her eyes searched through the barely lit cabin, she saw one of the windows shattered. From what she could tell, something large had been thrown in or out of the cabin judging by the size of the hole. She hadn't heard anything, so she assumed it was from before they came. Whatever the case, she wanted this hole covered up.
"There's a broken window in one of the back rooms," Lilly said gesturing behind her. "I need someone to help me move the dresser in there in front of it."
"I'll help you move it," volunteered Carver. "The old guy probably can't handle it."
"Hmph! I've got more strength in my left ball than you'll ever have," said Larry. "I'll help her out."
"No, you stay here, dad," Lilly held up a hand. "We'll move it. Save your strength for when we really need."
While they moved it, Thomas came into the living room. Larry glanced over at the younger male before turning his attention back to the window. "I didn't find much. Just a couple of match boxes, a rusty old knife, and an empty toolbox."
"Better than nothin'," shrugged Larry. "Go make yourself useful and light the fireplace. It's getting cold as hell in here."
"Isn't hell..."
"I know that!" snapped Larry. "It's a figure of speech, you idiot. Now light it."
Thomas glared at the man but did as he was told only because he was getting cold too. When being transported to the island, they didn't get a chance to grab anything. The only thing they had were the clothes on their back and whatever they had in their pockets. It was a damn shame they weren't warned ahead of time in order to prepare for a bunch of psychos chasing after all of them. While he worked on the fire place, Larry suddenly remembered that another person was with them. Where the hell was that little pipsqueak anyways? The last he saw of him was when Lilly assigned the young man to check the bedrooms for anything they could use. With Lilly and Carver in the back, they'd probably find him back there goofing off.
Meanwhile, Lilly and Carver were still pushing and pulling the large dresser in front of the window. It wouldn't completely block out the hole but it was better than nothing. As they did so, Carver spotted a tall, bulky figure walking past the doorway. "Aren't you suppose to be keeping watch? No telling when one of those manics will show up."
Lilly looked over too but she missed the figure. "Who're you talking to?"
"I saw your old man going by," said Carver. "He should really keep an eye on the outside."
"He probably just had to go," she said as she pushed the dresser once more.
"Probably," he shrugged.
Shortly after moving it, a loud crash could be heard coming from the living room. Both adults looked at each other before bolting to the area. They arrived just in time to see Jason holding up Thomas by his neck next to a large hole in that window as well. Thomas is trying to kick the tall figure while clawing at the man's arm. The two flew into action by attacking the man. Lilly kicked the man in the side which didn't affect him as he proceeded squeeze until his body fell limp.
"Where's my dad!" Lilly said once she realized her father wasn't in the room. Jason didn't answer her as he stepped her. As Lilly backed up, she spotted the larger hole in the window where Thomas's body was. It only took her a few seconds to realize that's what happened to him.
"You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" she vowed as she lunged at him. Instead of landing a hit, she was knocked to the ground by a punch to the gut. As a dirty boot was pressed against her head, she spotted Carver running away. "You fuckin-."
"AJ!" Lee and Clem called. "Clem, Lee I made a new friend!" they heard him yell. Stepping into the clearing they saw Leatherface patting his head
"That's great AJ!" smiled Lee before whispering in Clementine's ear. "One less psycho to worry about."
Katjaa) Run Bitch Run
"I plan on it!" Katjaa remarked as she hurried along.
Wait is Doug still a scumbag?
Potions don't just wear off here.
We cut to James
So James how are you- OH MY GOD CLEM WAS RIGHT U FUCK WALKERs
"I-I-I-it's not w-what it looks like!" he stammered as we cut to him with his pants up. "I-I was just massaging his shoulders! They're really tense."
Clem and Violet) how do you feel about u two being shipped together
"Heh well I don't really mind," she blushed. "I'm glad be people think we look cute together."
"Violet's my friend! EW." she crinkled her nose. She then tapped her chin. "Then again, she does have a crush on me. I mean it's not like she did a good job at hiding it. If there was a chance I'd feel the same, her stupid girlfriend's alive."
Louis and Mitch wake up tied to chairs "Where the fuck are we?" Mich demands. He gets his answer as Hannibal Lecter.
Both procedes to scream before Hannibal takes out a knife and cuts out Louis's tongue
Mitch screams even louder as Hannibal comes closer to him as well.
We find the St Johns fitting right in with Hannibal Lecter
Well that's trouble.
Louis you're the new nick
That's harsh after what happened to him. Then again, that's not usual here.
By the way scumbags, JAson has all the skills from his game. AKA Teleportation, sense, Morphing and stalking and modes.
Sense allows Jason to tell where a person is, Morphing allows him to cover ground faster, and stalking mode allows him to be quiet and sneak up on people, rage let's him brake down doors and walls easier
"What kind of overpowered shit is that?!" exclaimed Clementine.
Everyone but the dead and James) how do u feel that while you all are fighting for survival, James is banging a bunch of walkers
"WHAT?" exclaimed Lee. "We're out here worrying about the dead and a bunch of psychos-not you Leatherface- and that punk is out screwing walkers?!"
"Ew gross!" said Duck. "Why walkers?!"
"I-I was just joking!" Clementine said as she wiped her mouth after vomiting. "What the fuck! That's disgusting! At least covering ourselves with walker blood was useful! What kinda survival purpose is screwing walkers?"
"WOW. I thought Clementine was kidding," Violet's eyes got wide as Ruby's mouth dropped open. "H-he really...? Oh my god..."
"No wonder he didn't want Clementine to kill walkers!" said AJ. "He wanted to save them for later!"
"That's fuckin' nasty," said Luke. "And I thought covering ourselves in lurker guts was messed up."
"Is the world that messed up that the only people who'll let him touch them are walkers?" Jane burst out laughing. "Wow, that's sad!"
"It's not funny," said Bonnie. "That kid has issues."
"How dangerous and gross," said Katjaa.
Kenny) you worried about Jane and ur unborn child
"Yeah!" said Kenny. "I have to find her and my kid!"
Planning to name your baby Jamie, Jane? Shit! Michael Myers is behind you! Don't let your baby become another Jamie Lloyd for him!
"Oh shit!" Jane dodged a swing from an axe he had. As she tried to run, she tripped and hit the ground. Before he could plunge the axe into her head, Luke hit him over the head with a tree branch. Seeing her chance to get away, she took off running. Luke jumped back out of his reach and took off the opposite way of Jane.
Lee, Clem was with Louis when she ditched your class... so BEAT his ass! *Giggles maniacally before running away with Clem angrily throwing stuff at me but ends up missing due to me zigzagging crazily.*
"I'm going to kill that boy!" he shook his fist. "What'd he do to you?"
"Nothing! We just had a party."
"And didn't invite me? I see how it is! If I had a super cool party going on, I would've invited you!"
"Yeah but..."
"I'm outta here!" he stormed off.
Sarah and Clementine are sitting up in a balcony talking to each other
Sarah: "Ah You know Clem, I'm really going to enjoy next time".
Clementine: Wait Sarah? You plan to like the next chapter?"
Sarah: "No i plan to watch televison."
Sarah and Clem: "OH HA HA HA HA HA"
Hey just so you know I mean abosultey no disrespect. I love this fanfic. I just think it would be funny For Sarah and Clementine to be younger female verisons of Waldorf and Statler from The Muppets.
My only complanit is I wish you would update more often. I have alot of jokes for Clem and Sarah to make. All of them funny so please don't keep us fans waiting.
If there aren't a lot of "Q & A"s, dares, and whatever for me to do anything with, I won't upload for a while. That's how it works. Making up any isn't really my strongest point so that's out of the question.
Oh right Jane's pregnant
snaps finger and Jane has her baby boy, and he is safely taken away until the 48 hours are up
Speaking of babies, we have a lot of scumbag babies. Lilly and her 3 kids, Carley and her daughter, Kimberly, Mira and her kid(s), Kenny's kid that mysteriously disappeared, and Sarah and her son, Kaidan. I might make a list because I'm losing count.
Marlon) Don't think I didn't forget your little bitch ass.
Knocks him out and tosses him into shark infested water
"He won't be missed." said AJ.
Javier) how do you feel about people shipping Marianna and clem
"Ew people do that?!" Javier gagged. "That's my niece! She's like a daughter to me! And Clementine, besides the age, she's a dick! I'd rather slit my wrists and eat my brother's ass than be with her."
Pours love potion down Lilly's throat, making her fall madly in love with Mark
She's dead sooooooo
Shel walks into a dark room nervously, eyeing the figure hidden in the shadows.
"Sir several of the scumbags have already been picked off by the serial killers and walkers. Except for that one kid who's boning them." she said.
The figure smiled and we get a good look at his face.
It's Vernon
"Excellent!" smirked the elderly man. "It won't be long before they are all finished off in due time either by each other, themselves, the nutcases, or the walkers. Whatever happens, I look forward to their demises."
Clem) Ellie called, she's sorry and wants you back
"Wants me back where?" said Clementine. "I don't want that asshole anywhere near me after all the trouble that bitch had caused before."
Me: (yanks Clementine's pants down and runs)
"Jokes on you!" she yells shaking her fists as she pulled up her pants. "I've got shorts on! Ha!"
(A purple car drives up)
Me: (steps out) Hello scumbags! (sees everyone) Wow...You all look old.
Everyone: HEY!
I have a question for Telltale's Joker. Why do you hide your feelings for Bruce just kiss him already!
"Oh no! Bruce and I just buddies!" he wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder. "Isn't that right, Bruce?"
"Uh yeah sure," said Bruce putting on a forced smile. "We're great friends! Which is why John here isn't going to murder me in my sleep!" He then whispers, "Help me!"
"You say something?"
"Nope. I was just saying help me uh pick out a new suit when I get back!" he lied. "Yeah. That's what I said."
I could add Tommy Jarvis to help if you don't mind.
Uh who? I mean sure you can but fill me in on who that is. Please don't say "just google it" because google might not bring up whoever you're talking about.
*So it seems people have added onto the scumbag session so that's good. Like I said somewhere in this chapter, I'm not adding questions of my own in here. As long as people review, I will stick around. Adding them myself would just be boring. Besides, reviews let me know somewhere out there, there are people still reading and being entertained by this. Guests or not, you people are still readers and I appreciate that. So thanks. Until next time readers.
