A/N-I Do Not Own Harry Potter
Chapter 7
On Wednesday, Harry walked into Hadrian's classroom. Tonks was waiting for him.
"Wotcher Harry," Tonks greeted.
"Hey Tonks." Harry looked around the room. "Where's Hadrian?"
Tonks shrugged. "I don't know honestly, but he's probably still at dinner, it's not over with for another half hour. May I ask why your here so early?"
Harry smiled. "I ate fast, I was looking forward to this. What's your excuse?"
Tonks chuckled. "I ate earlier." Tonks motioned for Harry to take a seat next to her on the bleachers. "So how are classes going?"
"Okay," Harry replied. "So far in charms and transfiguration, we've only been lectured about the importance of N.E.W.T.s this year. You already know how I felt about the first defense class. Money and Business seems like it will be hard, but Professor Nelson seems nice, if eccentric. And Charlie mad his class interesting, he showed us projected memories of his time at the dragon preserve."
"Could be worse," Tonks pointed out.
"True. So how do you like teaching?"
Tonks smiled. "It's actually kinda fun. Hadrian has me do most of lectures in first and second years. In third year up to fifth we're mostly working on spell knowledge and how to repel darker creatures. Sixth year, I'm not gonna tell it's a surprise. And seventh year he's mostly working on making sure the gaps from previous teachers are filled enough that the students can pass their N.E.W.T.s."
"Do you miss being an auror?"
"Surprisingly no. I mean, I miss it a bit, but this is actually less stressful, plus I'm actually guaranteed to sleep at night unless there's an emergency."
The door to the classroom opened and Hadrian walked in. Today his shirt was black and read, "If life hands you lemons, add vodka and chill."
"Evening Harry, Nym." Hadrian conjured a chair for him to sit in, in front of Tonks and Harry on the bleachers. Hadrian looked Harry in the eye. "We're not going to do anything practical this lesson. I have few question to ask, and a few things to tell. And you need to pay attention and remember it all, understand?"
Harry nodded his head. "Yes sir."
"Good man." Hadrian turned to Tonks. "You don't have to be here if you don't want to be. I'm not covering anything I've already told you."
"I'll stay," Tonks smirked. "I want to help Harry through this. God knows I could of used some help when you trained me."
Hadrian chuckled. "Just remember that Harry has to answer my questions himself." He turned back to Harry. "First rule of war, people die. Dumbledore explained your past to me a bit, and that you have a 'people saving thing'. From what I understand, you blame yourself for the deaths of Cedric Diggory and Sirius Black. That is bullshit."
Harry was stunned by Hadrian's bluntness. He opened his mouth to rebuke about how it was his fault when Hadrian cut him off.
"There was nothing you could of done in either situation. You where told that to finish the tournament, you had to grab the Tri-Wizard Cup. What would of happened if Cedric had grabbed it himself? or if Fleur or Krum got there before you? They would have died. And in Black's case, you did what you could to verify if he was actually in danger, and you were misled. You did nothing wrong, in fact you acted admirably in both situations."
"Harry," Hadrian continued, "this is war, make no mistake about it. People are going to get hurt, and possibly killed. You, me, no one can change that. If you start dwelling on the what ifs or I dids, it will be the ruin of you. You are a soldier in this war, you will cause pain and suffering to your enemies."
"No for your first question. Which side is good? And which side is evil? Explain why."
"Isn't it obvious?" Harry nearly yelled. "Voldemort and his lackeys are evil. They kill innocents."
"No it's not obvious. I want you to explain."
"Voldemort has killed innocents, he wants to kill more!"
"But does that make him evil?"
"YES!"
Hadrian closed his eyes, leaned back in his chair, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you think Voldemort sees himself as evil? Good and evil are notion used to rationalize, there is no such thing. The side one fights on is always good, the enemy evil." He looked Harry in the eyes again. "That's not to say one side isn't more brutal, but history is written by the victors. The thing you need to understand Harry, Is that Voldemort wants power. But the way he goes about getting that power is by appealing to peoples beliefs. He supports pure-bloods, who are gradually losing power and influence as more muggle-born are born with every generation. He makes alliances with creatures whose rights have been violated and restricted by the current regime. Yes, Voldemort himself may be evil, but that does not mean his side is. There are good and bad people on both sides. But no one side is good or evil."
"I don't understand," Harry said. "What about people like Bellatrix? Or McNair?"
Harry almost regretted his question as he saw anger burning in Hadrian's eyes.
Hadrian took a calming breath before answering. "I understand your hatred of Bellatrix, but I assure you, she is not evil. Brutal, efficient, uncompromising? Yes. I know for a fact that she believes in pure-blood supremacy, that is one reason that she is so dangerous. As for McNair, in war, sadist are brought out. Some people simply enjoy killing and torture for the sake of it. They thrive in war, and they are on both sides."
"There are several types of followers on each side. The are true believers, easily the most dangerous as they are prepared to die for their belief, such as Bellatrix. There are those that have only known that way of life, such as your friend Ronald. There are those out for vengeance against the other side, an example would be your friend Neville. There are those who have no choice in which side they are on, as the other side is against them, your mother and Hermione are examples here. There are those that simply enjoy fighting, Crabbe and Goyle, junior and senior. Then there are those coerced into fighting, such as Dung and Pettigrew. The vast majority of people fall into either not having a choice, or never knowing another way, although they can easily fall into one of the other categories. The coerced are the worst soldiers because they do not want to be there. Those who simply love to fight, they gravitate towards whichever side offers them the most chance of fighting. Those who seek vengeance always fight against whichever side wronged them. I shouldn't really have to explain the true believers, should I?" Hadrian arched an eyebrow.
Harry shook his head. "No sir."
"Good. Now don't get me wrong, some are combined, such as Lucius Malfoy, who both truly believes, and knows no other way, or Remus Lupin, who truly believes and is seeking vengeance."
"If I may ask, what are you?" Harry questioned.
Hadrian smiled sadly. "I am the last category that I have yet to explain. I am the soldier, with friends on both sides, forced to choose between them because of beliefs."
"I'm sorry sir."
"So am I Harry, so am I."
After several moments of silence Hadrian spoke again. "I want you to think about what I have said tonight. I want you to understand that you will fight real people, with reasons for what they do. The ministry would have you believe in good and evil, that is why they have labeled spells as dark. The truth is that there is no such thing, and they simply do not want people capable of toppling them. I'll see you later."
Hadrian stood up to leave. As he was in the door he turned to Harry. "I give you one warning Harry, I suggest you pass it on to Mr. Longbottom. Earlier you insulted Bellatrix Lestrange, even if you didn't realize it. Do it again, and you will regret it." With that, Hadrian walked from the room.
"That was certainly interesting," Harry said. He turned to Tonks. "Has he told you the same thing?"
Tonks smiled at Harry. "About good and evil, or about Bellatrix?"
"Both."
Tonks sighed. "Yes. It made me realize many things when I became an auror."
"Why does he defend Bellatrix?"
Tonks shrugged. "I really don't know, I have theories, but I honestly don't know. He's never talked about her much. I assume they used to be friends, they graduated the same year and where in Slytherin house together." Tonks stood up. "Come on, you've still got two hours 'till curfew and I'd like it very much if you could show me that Room of Requirement you and your friends where talking about."
While Harry was getting lectured by Hadrian, Hermione was walking to see professor McGonagall. She had spent the last two days, ever since class with Hadrian, trying to figure out who he was. She had a rough idea of the year he graduated, thanks to the information Tonks and Harry had given her. So she had been digging into the schools graduation records. In the time frame she had been working on, she found only one Hadrian, she was on her way to confirm her suspicions.
She knocked on the door to McGonagall's office.
"Come in," McGonagall called.
Hermione opened the door and stepped into the office. "Good evening Professor," She said, trying to sound as cheerful as she could.
McGonagall smiled at her favorite student. "Good evening Ms. Granger. How may I help you?"
Hermione looked down. "I think I understand why you are so uncomfortable around Professor Hadrian."
McGonagall sighed. "Is it that obvious?"
"I'm afraid so." Hermione looked back up at McGonagall to find a tear running down the old womans cheek. "He's your son, isn't he?"
McGonagall nodded. "Hadrian Malcolm McGonagall. I was wondering when someone would figure it out. It should come as no surprise that it would be you."
"I was wondering, if you don't mind me asking, why your so uncomfortable around him? And if there was anything I could do to help you?" Hermione asked.
McGonagall smiled weakly. "I thank you Ms. Granger for caring. But I am afraid there is nothing to be done. Our estrangement was entirely my doing, I have regretted it for a very long time now." She sighed. "Maybe simply talking about it may help, but I do not wish to burden a student with my troubles."
"Professor," Hermione began, "it wouldn't be a burden. I don't know if you know this, but I look up to you. You helped in third year by giving me a time-turner. Your door has always been open to me, you've comforted me when I didn't want to go to Ron or Harry. I see you a second mother Professor. And I'd like to help."
McGonagall wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank you Ms. Granger, Hermione. It is good to know that I've had a good influence on at least one child's life, even if it is not my own. But before I tell you, you must promise me that what I say will not leave this room, not even to Misters Potter and Weasley, and that you will not judge me based on the actions of the past. We all make mistakes, it just happens that mine cost me my son."
"I promise professor."
McGonagall smiled at the young witch. "If I'm going to pour my heart out to you, perhaps you could call me Minerva in private."
Hermione smiled. "I'll try prof...Minerva. But it might be hard breaking five years of habit."
McGonagall began her tale. "It started when my late husband, Malcolm passed away. He was an auror and killed in the line of duty. Hadrian was two at the time. I was already teaching here at Hogwarts, I had been for five years. After Malcolm's death, I couldn't stand to live in McGonagall Manor, so instead of commuting via floo like I had before, I moved both myself and Hadrian here to the castle."
"We lived here year round. He grew up here in the castle. One of his favorite spots was the library. Even as a child he'd spend hours in there reading. I admit that I wasn't always there for him, but he was intelligent. He'd sit in on classes and read book upon book. By the time he had turned nine, he had made his own wand, which I promptly confiscated when he proudly showed it to me. I returned it when he turned eleven, after taking it Olivander to be examined. He said that it was one of the best wands he had ever seen, that it rivaled his own."
"As much as I wanted Hadrian to be in Gryffindor, which I had been made head of by that point, I fully expected him to be in Ravenclaw with his vast thirst for knowledge. Imagine my surprise when the hat placed him in Slytherin. That was when everything began going downhill."
"Not wanting to show any favoritism towards my son, I never praised him in class, never awarded him points. I barely acknowledged him in class, despite the fact that he was truly brilliant. I wanted so much to tell him how well he did, but feared showing any side of favoritism. By his fifth year, he had completely quit speaking to me outside of classroom topics."
"Then midway through his seventh year, he came to me smiling. To tell me he was engaged. I was ecstatic for him, until I found out who he was engaged to."
"Who was it?" Hermione asked.
"Bellatrix Black. I knew what kind of a family the Blacks where. And despite Sirius being in my house, my opinion of the family had not changed. And Bellatrix was the epitome of her family, proud , dangerous, and prejudiced. We got into a horrible fight, and I slapped him."
McGonagall swallowed hard. "I'll never forget the look he gave me, or the words he said. He said 'All I ever wanted was to make you proud mother. The hat put me in Slytherin because of my thirst to prove myself to you, to make you proud. I see now that that will not happen. Goodbye.' With that he walked away. We have not spoken since then. Although I found out later that he and Bellatrix broke up the following summer, I do not know why. I've often wondered if it was somehow my fault, if things could have been different if we hadn't fought or if I had acknowledged him some how in class."
Tears began to flow down the old professors face as she remembered her failings as a mother. Hermione ran over and offered her a shoulder to cry on and wondered if there was anything she could do to help.
A/N- Congratulations to anyone who figured out Minerva and Hadrian's relationship. Remember this is just Minerva's side of the story, but we won't here Hadrian's for at least another chapter yet, probably more. Let's see if anyone can figure out why Hadrian and Bellatrix broke up. Also there is a challenge on my profile for anyone who is interested.
