The next day at school was…awkward. And quiet.
Willow and Xander looked stricken, Buffy looked grim, Cordelia was…well, Cordelia, and the teachers were asking about Jesse. Once again, no one was looking at me.
No, I take that back. Willow had managed to say hello to me, but…it was so quiet I barely heard it, and she had moved away from me too quickly for me to return the greeting. I have to say, for someone used to being alone and being shunned from society for over six hundred years, being shunned again so quickly after making my first friend in over fifty years hurt quite badly.
That hurt…it was rather a good thing, if one thought about it. It proved I wasn't entirely a monster, in spite of what Buffy and the others thought. A real monster wouldn't have thought twice about losing their friends, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.
What can I say? I may be cynical but every once in a while I try to look for a silver lining.
We went through the motions, tried to act normal, and all the while I was dreading that trip to the library.
What could I tell them that wouldn't make them distrust me even more?
"Oh yes, my father was a demon-possessed corpse, but not to worry, I also take after my mother"? Or, "No, I only prey upon the innocent when I've had a terribly bad day"? Or, "I promise I won't bite you"?
What was I to do?
One option open to me was flight, of course. I could just leave them all, disappear into the world once again, and just wait another hundred years. By then, the Slayer and everyone else would be dead and I could…well, keep moving.
No. I couldn't do that.
I am a Selwyn, and I am no coward. I just…get really nervous.
All too soon, sixth period arrived. That was when we all had study hall. That was when we had to meet in the library. I had spent all day girding up my loins, as it were, but as I walked down the hall and towards the library, I felt my resolve to get all this straightened up weakening.
I shrank back in my hood and took a deep breath.
'Let's get on with it, then.' I thought, and went in to face my doom.
Giles and Buffy were already there, waiting. They were talking when I came in, but when Buffy saw me she immediately stopped and crossed her arms. Giles looked towards me, and cleared his throat as he adjusted his glasses.
I could hear his heart speed up in nervousness.
"Greetings." I murmured. "Did…did you rest well, Slayer?" I asked. Buffy shrugged.
The awkward silence that ensued was deafening. Thankfully, the other younglings came in soon afterward. They walked past me and gathered around one of the studying tables, huddling close to Buffy.
"We have a lot to talk about." Buffy said once everyone was settled. I nodded, took my hood off, and approached. I did not sit down. I had a feeling I wasn't really supposed to feel comfortable there.
"Indeed." I said. "I believe I owe all of you an explanation, and an apology." I looked pointedly at Willow for the second half of that sentence. Giles cleared his throat again and I looked at him. I gathered he would be the one conducting this interrogation.
"You…you said before that you were a…well, a half-vampire?" he said. I nodded.
"I must confess I've never encountered one of your kind before." He said. He moved towards me, slowly. He looked curious, but still cautious. I was a specimen for him to examine, but he was afraid I might bite.
I offered him my hand.
"We haven't been introduced, I don't think." I said, trying to smile at him. If I could make him think me more human than monster, maybe we could get somewhere. He looked at my hand as though he didn't know what to do with it.
"I'm Margery Selwyn, sir." I said, grasping his hand since he didn't make a move to do the same, "A pleasure to make the acquaintance of a Watcher. I've never met one of your kind either." He looked surprised, but finally returned the pressure on my hand.
"Y-Yes," he said, "I-I'm the Watcher. Uh…it-it's nice to…meet you?"
I don't think he meant for it to come out as a question, but I forgave him the hesitation since he at least made the effort to be polite. Buffy, on the other hand, was rolling her eyes.
"All right," she said, "now that we all know who each other is….for the most part, why exactly are you here?"
"Wait," Willow interrupted, "You're really a half-vampire?" she asked. I nodded, wondering what she would ask.
"So…you drink blood?" Giles asked, dropping my hand. He looked at my hand as he did so, and I could practically hear him think: "No pulse."
"Only out of necessity," I explained, "and only off of strictly nonliving resources." I added when Buffy's eyes narrowed.
"Bloodpacks?" Giles said. I nodded.
"So…how exactly are you half of a vampire?" Xander asked.
"My father was a vampire who accidentally sired me with a human female." I explained. Giles eyebrows raised in surprise. I felt the need to elaborate. "I say accidentally because…he was going to kill her directly afterward. He was actually close to accomplishing this task when he was interrupted."
I paused.
"Both my parents regretted he didn't finish the job." I finished.
"Your mom didn't want you?" Willow asked quietly. I shrugged. It wasn't a subject I liked to talk about, for obvious reasons.
"Would you want something a monster had put inside you?" I asked her. It came out harsher than I had meant it to. She blanched and looked down at her hands. I immediately softened my tone.
"No," I said, "she didn't want me. But she tolerated my existence…for a time."
"When exactly did this happen?" Giles asked. This was what he had wanted to ask all along, I could feel.
"If you're wondering my age, sir, I was born in 1360."
That got a reaction.
The Watcher's eyes grew wide, Xander's jaw dropped open, Willow looked up and actually looked excited, and even Buffy looked shocked. What can I say? I look good for my…extreme old age.
"You were what, now?" Xander said.
"You must have seen so much history!" Willow exclaimed. Buffy looked suspicious and came towards me, while Giles adjusted his glasses again, at a loss. I couldn't tell if he was as excited as Willow, or even more nervous.
"I've seen my fair share, certainly." I said, smiling at Willow.
"How have you survived this long?" Giles asked, "Surely someone would have noticed your…lack of changing? Did no Slayer ever notice you? No Watcher?" I shrugged again and shook my head. I offered him a confiding smile.
"I tend to stay out of trouble, and nearly always on the move." I explained, "I don't keep company with monsters. I barely keep company with humans, for that matter." I leaned forward slightly, and he didn't recoil. That was good.
"I mostly keep company with books. They're far easier to get along with." I added.
He finally smiled back at me, and actually chuckled.
He had a good laugh. It was deep but pleasant sounding. I joined in, and I felt some of the ice in the room melt a little.
"So," Buffy broke in, "you're not here to…do anything?"
I looked at her and shook my head seriously.
"I have not come to feast upon the blood of the innocents, no." I said. Giles laughed again, as did Willow, and even Xander let out a snort.
Good, this was very good. Much better than I had hoped for. Buffy still looked suspicious, but her muscles were gradually starting to relax. She dropped her hands to her hips and came a little closer.
"I understand completely if you don't wish to trust me," I told her, well, all of them, really, "but I promise I'm only here to help. I told you before I felt drawn to this place, but as to why…even I don't know that. When I found out you were the Slayer, I assumed that was why I was pulled here, but now I'm not so sure."
I frowned and turned back to Giles.
"Last night…I've never seen that many vampires in one place. Especially not organized like that." I dropped my voice a little.
"Something is happening here." I told him.
"Yeah, can we get some of that cleared up?" Xander asked. "I mean…I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around this whole vampire, Slayer, Watcher, half-vampire, demon thing going on." They looked at me, but I was watching Giles.
"I believe I'll leave the explanation to you, sir." I said, "If you don't mind, that is?"
"No," he said, "I don't mind, Miss."
"You may call me Margery, if it please you." I told him with a friendly smile. He returned it, bless him.
"It does. And you may call me…well, just Giles I suppose, if you want?"
Giles took a step back and turned back to the young people, leaving me to find a seat amongst them. Willow immediately drew back a chair for me. It was right next to hers, bless the dear little heart. She'd already forgiven me.
"I have so many questions," she whispered to me, "but they can wait for now."
Of course, she wanted to know what I'd seen.
A thousand sights and tales leapt into mind. Not many of them were pleasant, unfortunately.
"This world is older than you know." Giles began. He sounded more official now, and his voice sounded even richer than it had before, which I hadn't thought possible. What? I was not blind to the fact the man had the voice of an angel….a very British angel, perhaps….
"Contrary to popular mythology," he continued, "it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons, demons walked the earth. They made it their home…their Hell. But they entirely lost their purchase on this reality.
"The way was made for mortal animals. For man. All that remains of the Old Ones, are vestiges, certain magics, certain creatures."
"Like you?" Xander asked me. I winced and licked my lips.
"I'm not a demon." I said.
Speak for yourself.
"My father was one, certainly, but he did not pass on the entity to me. Instead, I only got a portion of its power. Its Essence. Not powerful enough to control the body in which I was born. I have a soul. The Old Ones do not." I answered. Giles nodded.
"Just so." He said.
"Okay," Xander said, getting up and beginning to pace, "but, see, this is where I have a problem. Because we're talking about vampires. And…" he gestured at me, "half-vampires. We're having a talk…with vampires in it."
"But isn't that what we saw last night?" Willow asked.
"No," Buffy said, though we could all tell she was being facetious, "no, those weren't vampires. Those were guys in dire need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies? It could have been rabies! And that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light."
I couldn't help but laugh, and I saw Giles smirk in reply.
Yes, I felt sorry for Xander, and yes, I could understand how he would want to try and deny what he'd seen, but…the evidence supporting what he'd seen was literally right in front of him. Namely: me.
"That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire." Buffy told him, growing serious again. "Well," she added, "after I was done with the screaming part."
"Thank you, by the way," I said quietly, turning to Willow. She looked confused.
"For what?"
"For not screaming when…when you saw…THAT part of me."
She blushed.
"I'll admit, it's not because I didn't want to." She murmured. I chuckled to let her know I wasn't upset, and she smiled shyly at me.
I needed to find out exactly what happened when I did that. I never quite know for sure what changes beyond the fangs.
"So vampires are demons?" Xander asked.
"The books tell the last demon to leave the realm fed off of a human," Giles explained, "mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the earth; feeding, killing some and mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out. And for the Old Ones to return."
There was a pause.
"They're nothing if not ambitious," I finally broke in, trying to…what's it called… 'lighten the mood', I think. "And patient." I added. "
"Then there's the Slayer." Giles continued, looking at Buffy.
"Which is what, exactly." Xander asked. I smirked and looked at him.
"The job description is sort of in the title, Xander." I couldn't help but say. I knew he probably wanted specifics, but…Slayer is rather self-explanatory, isn't it?
"As long as there have been vampires, there have been Slayers," Giles explained, "One girl in all the world, chosen to-"
"He loves doing this part." Buffy interrupted with a roll of her eyes. Giles huffed at her in impatience. She didn't seem fazed by it. Poor Giles, I could tell Buffy's attitude about the whole vampire/Slayer thing was frustrating him.
"All right," Giles said, "the Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone."
That was simple.
"And…I'd rather no one really knew about my…condition, either." I added. "It's rather inconvenient to live peacefully when people are either trying to burn you, stake you, or put you in an insane asylum."
Giles gave a nod.
"Well, I think that's all the information we need." He said.
"Except for one thing," Xander said, "how do you kill them?"
"You don't." Buffy answered. "I do." She looked at me again when she said that. This was getting rather annoying.
"How many times do I have to say I'm half-vampire?" I asked her.
"Until I know for sure you're not just playing tame so we'll put our guard down." Buffy answered back.
"And when will that be, young miss?" I asked, standing up. "Are you going to stake me if Willow or Xander gets a paper-cut, just as a preemptive strike?"
Giles stood up then as well.
"Ladies," he said, "please, let's not argue anymore." He turned to Buffy, "I'll conduct a more thorough interview, alone, and let you know my findings. We can proceed from there. We're not going to get anything done constantly badgering and threatening amongst ourselves."
"Well spoken, sir." I said, watching Buffy. She didn't look happy, but she gave a shrug of consent anyway.
At least with the Watcher I had a better chance of actually having a decent conversation.
Xander wasn't done talking about fighting, however.
"But Jesse-" he started, but Buffy interrupted again.
"Is my responsibility." She finished. "I'm the one who let him get taken by putting him in a risky situation."
I felt the guilt churn in my gut again and I looked down at the table.
"No, Slayer, it was my fault." I said quietly. "I should have tried harder. He was wounded, I should have kept a closer eye on him during the fray. I didn't, and that's on me. Not you. You turned responsibility over to me."
"But it was still my call." Buffy insisted.
"If you hadn't shown up, they would have taken us too." Willow told her. I nodded in agreement. The blame was mine. I didn't much care for the Slayer, but I won't shirk the blame if I'm at fault. And I was.
"This big guy, Luke," Buffy said, "he talked about an offering to the Master."
Master. That's never a good thing.
"Now, I don't know what, or who," Buffy continued, "but if they weren't just feeding then Jesse may still be alive." She had a point there. Maybe I had a chance at redeeming myself? Find Jesse before he did get turned into a meal, and thus fulfill my obligation.
"I'm gonna find him." Buffy insisted.
"I'll assist." I said. She narrowed her eyes at me. "It's the least I can do." I said, I wasn't trying to argue, in fact I tried to sound as yielding as possible. "Let me make amends."
"Uh, this may be the dumb question," Willow broke in, "but shouldn't we call the police?"
Giles spoke for me when he answered: "And they'd believe us, of course?"
"Well, we wouldn't have to say vampires," Willow continued, "we could just say that there's a…bad man?"
"They couldn't handle it even if they did show up," Buffy said, "they'd only come with guns."
"And guns, while painful, aren't permanently effect against vampires." I said. I could see the question on Willow's face, so I answered it before she could even ask it.
"They work just fine on me." I said. I smirked at Buffy. "So if you want to kill me, you won't have to be so theatrical. You can do it any way you please."
"But you've no idea where they took Jesse?" Giles asked, interrupting us before we got started all over again.
"I looked around but soon as they got clear of the graveyard they could have just…voom!" Buffy said. Xander stared at her.
"They can fly?" he demanded.
"They can drive." Buffy answered.
"Oh." Xander said. I couldn't help but smile at that.
"If they get on an airplane they could fly, Xander." I told him.
"I don't remember hearing a car." Willow said. That's right, I hadn't even heard an engine rev up afterward. And when I had left the graveyard I hadn't seen a vehicle anywhere either.
"Let's take an enormous, intuitive leap, shall we," Giles was saying, "and let's say they went underground."
"Vampires really jam on sewer systems," Buffy explained, "they can get anywhere in the entire town without catching any rays."
'Not to mention there's snacks along the way.' I thought, remembering the rats.
I've used my fair share of sewers, as well.
"But, I didn't see any access around there." Buffy said.
"Well there's an electrical tunnel that runs under the whole town." Xander said. I blinked at him.
"The entire town?" I repeated. He nodded.
'Oh dear.'
"If we can get a diagnostic of the tunnel system, it might indicate a meeting place…" Giles said, "I suppose we could go to the building commission?"
"We sodon't have time." Buffy said.
"And won't that be a tad suspicious?" I asked. "I don't think simply saying, 'We have to do a report on sewer systems' will quite convince them."
"Uh, guys?" Willow said shyly. We all looked at her. "There may be another way."
As I looked at her face, there was a spark in her eye I hadn't seen before.
"Why, Willow," I said, feeling a slow smile spread across my face, "I do believe I see mischief lurking behind your eyes. What tricks have you got hidden up your sleeve?" She grinned at me, at all of us, and practically bounced up from the table.
"Get me to a computer and I'll show you!" she announced.
That's one thing about humans I never grow weary of: you're always full of surprises and talents.
